Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with testicles

Help me de-hair down there

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:36:13 -0800

I need tips for how to shave (or otherwise make hairless) my male genital area? For a number of reasons (gray hair down there that makes me look prematurely old, many women seem to be more interested in performing fellatio without the hair, etc) I shave my pubic hair. But the problems I have with it are becoming almost not worth it...

First I get ingrown hairs regularly. You don't know worry until you have an infected ingrown hair on a testicle and have to lance it and consider going to the doctor to show him your shaved scrotum).

Second, the itch factor after a couple of days is ridiculous. As it is time consuming to shave I can't do it often enough to avoid all itch, but sometimes the itch is so bad it keeps me awake at night.

I have searched MeFi and seen that using Nair is not a good option. I'm considering the waxing strips but with the loose skin on a testicle I'm not sure if it even works nor how much it would hurt, and for the ingrown hairs I can't imagine using a luffa on my testicles.

Please help me MeFites! I have a date coming up where I need to take my pants down in front of a new woman coming up and I don't want sores or gray pubes!

What is the origin of the phrase "by the balls"?

sciurus — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:52:07 -0800

What is the origin of the phrase "by the balls" as in: "He's really got you by the balls."? My mom thinks it is a biblical reference where dudes would grab each other by the balls when they entered into an agreement with each other. Her priest disagrees, so now my mom wants to find out exactly what the origin of that phrase is.

I believe I have placed this question in the correct category.

Where can I buy an inexpensive bicycle in Los Angeles?

rybreadmed — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:39:18 -0800

Where can I get a halfway decent road bicycle in West Los Angeles for around $400? I've looked in a few stores. I've checked out Performance Bicycles, REI, Bike Attack, Coco's Variety Shop, and Helen's Cycles. I wouldn't mind a used bicycle, but don't want to resort to looking at pictures on Craigslist and trying to decide what will fit me and ride well, or what is about to fall apart.

I want to use it for the occasional ride to work. To get there, I ride about 16 miles each way. It's not everyday, but often enough that I want something somewhat reliable and comfortable. Right now, I'm riding a mid-70s road bicycle that feels like it's about 600 pounds of steel. It was given to me for free a couple of months ago, but I've so far paid about $200 over that time for new tires, tubes, a poorly done overhaul at Bicycle Ambulance in Santa Monica, other various parts, etc. So the cost of my free bike is approaching that of a NEW, LIGHTER low-end road bicycle.

I dislike the attitudes I've seen in many of the local bike shops. If you're not spending $2000 on a bicycle, they act like they have better things to do; I don't want to buy a bicycle from a dickhead. And when I tell them where I want to be in terms of price, they generally point out one or two bicycles and then walk away. I'm a college student for Chrissake. I can't afford everything to be carbon fiber.

Should I just buy something inexpensive online (such as this one from Performance Bicycle) or is that just a bad idea?

By the way, here's what I already know:
* Don't buy a bicycle from department/discount store (ie. Walmart)
* Yes, there are cheap used bicycles on Craigslist
* Spending a bit more on a bicycle may indeed yield a better bike (but let's stay in the $400 neighborhood)
* Hybrids are sometimes a good compromise, but I'm not too crazy about them.

If you know of a great bicycle shop in LA (preferably West LA or the Valley), let me know. If there's someone you recommend, let me know that too. Advice? Know of a place online that has great deals? Any valuable advice?

Hint: the answer is not sperm whale.

keasby — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:31:09 -0800

What land animal has the largest testicles? Please help settle a very pressing discussion at work.

Which land animal has the largest set of external* testicles?

*Asian elephants and any other freak mammals like that where said male fortitude is house internally DO NOT COUNT. If you can't show 'um, you can't prove 'um.

Naturally, in case you haven't cracked a biology book in years, any type of whale is NOT A LAND ANIMAL.

Thank you Metafilter Mind, for helping us where G00gle failed!

Always yours dutifully,
Keasby

Hydrocele Surgery Experiences

ob — Tue, 06 May 2008 06:39:59 -0800

I recently had hydrocele surgery and I was wondering about the recovery period/curve of others who braved this surgery. This is sort-of a follow up to this question as I see that there were some of us who were talking about getting the surgery. I had mine done almost two weeks ago, and according to my surgeon I'm recovering well, but I was interested in the experience of others. How quickly were you able to return to strenuous activities such as working out or sex? How was your hydrocele removed? Any other insights? (I guess we could compare hydrocele size, but that might put off the squeamish!)

There isn't a huge amount of information on this on the net, and a lot of it involves this procedure for young boys, so I thought it would be interesting for those of us unlucky enough to have had this procedure done as adults to compare notes.

What's wrong with my balls?

tumbleweedjack — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:33:23 -0800

Testicle-related question inside. Lately, it is almost impossible for me to masturbate without my testicles climbing up into my torso. They'll pretty much stay there, either until I push them out, or until I'm done masturbating. This used to happen every now and then since always, but in the last, say, three months, it's happened every single time I have an erection. I'm in my mid-20s and to my knowledge, haven't suffered any injuries to my genitals.

Epidydimitis and fertility/conception?

Anonymous — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:07:07 -0800

About a year ago I was diagnosed with epidydimitis, which has become a chronic (but low-level) pain. I am now interested in having a child (to be precise: being a sperm donor for a close friend; not via a clinic). I know that there is some chance of decreased fertility with this disease, but is there any chance the sperm themselves will be weird, mutated, or otherwise unsuitable for fertilizing an egg? I am 45 years old. Initially, the acute stage was treated with three courses of cipro and anti-inflammatories over about 4 months. The pain has receded to a dull, but relatively constant ache in the eight subsequent months. It is unilateral, on the left side. It was never diagnosed as bacterial, viral or just inflammatory. I have had an ultrasound, which was unremarkable. My doctor indicated quite clearly that there was no communicable infection risk. I've read this lengthy piece (PDF). I can't find any information on whether this disease could damage the sperm or contraindicate pregnancy in any way. I realize sperm are not produced in the epididymis, yet the fact that reduced fertility is not uncommon suggests that there is some influence on the sperm. I realize this is a fairly specific question and I will ask my doctor if necessary, but it seems likely there is a simple answer and it is probably "no".

Should I Get a 2nd Opinion On My Sore Left Nut?

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 17:26:39 -0800

Would it be worth my while to get a second opinion about my sore left testicle? I've had this problem for a while and I've seen my urologist about it. From time to time, my left testicle becomes tender and sore, with some of the discomfort running up a bit into my abdomen. The first time a couple of years ago, an ultrasound didn't find anything and some hot baths and anti-inflammatories took care of it.

This summer, it's come back and I saw my urologist about it again. At first, I just had him check me out generally, but no ultrasound. Then I found a new lump. So, ultrasound. The lump's a calcium pearl, not a threat. I also have a very small varicocele and a very small spermicocele, I'm told. i.e. I have a blood vessel and a sperm tube that both leak backwards a little bit - likely the source of the pain.

So, my urologist says that these are both really small and there's no need, nor much use, to doing anything invasive about them. It's tight undies, aspirin and hot baths for me.

That'd be fine, but after getting things quieted down for a week or so, the tenderness and soreness came right back over this weekend. So, I'm doing what I can to settle things down again, but I'm wondering of there really isn't anything I can do to take care of this in a more permanent way. Would it be worth my while to see another urologist about this or would I just get the same answer?

Further questions can be directed to: tenderleftnut@gmail.com

Has anyone experienced post-ejaculatory pain?

Anonymous — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 13:22:12 -0800

Does anyone else experience or know anything about post-ejaculatory pain in the testicles? My (first opinion) doctor is stumped. (Hint: It's not blue balls and I'm also infertile) First: I've seen a doctor and am not using this for diagnosis. I'm just curious if anyone else has had personal experience with my problem. Please email anon_mefite at yahoo.com for clarifications or what-have-you.

I'm 24 and since 14 or so I've experienced a dull ache in my groin post-ejaculation. It's difficult to pinpoint the location of the pain, but it's around the testicles. My best guess is that it's half-way between the base of the penis and the testes, under the surface.

Interestingly, I've recently learned how to orgasm without ejaculating, and have no pain whatsoever in this case. I'll bring this up in my next doctor visit.

The pain was rare at 14 and lasted only a short while. It has steadily increased in frequency and duration and now occurs 90% of the time, typically for 1-4 hours if I'm sitting or laying down, 5-10 hours if I'm up and active. Erections intensify the pain.

When it became more than an annoyance, I saw my primary doctor, and then a Proctologist. The primary had never heard of it before. The Proctologist prescribed "Flomax" which stops ejaculation. I didn't notice a significant change while on Flomax, but I didn't orgasm much that month. After Flomax seemed to fail, the Proctologist basically said "I dunno".

He also told me I was infertile after I provided a semen sample. Somewhat stupidly, I gave the sample while on Flomax, so my volume was rather low. He insisted that this didn't matter, since the problem he found was immobility, but that I should still try again.

I was rather displeased with the Proctologist, so I'm going to get a second opinion soon. I'll definitely let he or she know about how non-ejaculation does not cause pain. Until then, does this sound familiar to anyone else? Thank you!

Do you balls hang low? Can you swing them too and fro?

Anonymous — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 22:31:07 -0800

My left testicle is suddenly hanging significantly lower than the right. Eek. About 3 weeks ago I whacked off as per normal (for a 24yo guy). Went to bed and woke to find my left ball hanging a little low with a dull aching. It's about half an inch lower than it used to be, and feels........different. Lighter. Not as much a part of me as it used to. Dare I say it, detached.

The aching has now passed (except for the occasional throb) but it refuses to move back upstairs with its brother. Even when chilled it's reluctant to snuggle up as close as it used to.

The whacking off was no more prolonged or vigorous than previous sessions, so maybe I just slept funny? Everything seems to still function normally.

What have I (possibly) done?!

Where can I find large and small testicles?

itchi23 — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 13:15:03 -0800

Where can I find data (online) on the average size of common mammalian species' testes? I'm looking for a variety of common mammalian species, from gorilla to the average ground squirrel. I'm not looking for any specific mammal, although a large variety of "common" (house cat, dogs, cows, humans, rats, etc.) ones would be great. I'm also not looking for anecdotal "data" (i.e. "The blue whale's penis the size of a Volkswagen!") - just a basic list.
Now I realize this might not be readily available data - I'm willing to compile it. Alternately, if there's some site that has some averaged data on a variety of mammals, (height, weight, testes size...you know, common facts) that would be great too.

wow! wolfman has nads!

Espoo2 — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 11:48:05 -0800

What does it feel like to get kicked in the balls? I'm sure most men have tried to explain this to a female before. But I've never found any words that come close to describing the unique and ENGULFING pain that happens when you're kicked in the googles.

What is a comparable feeling? How do we LET THEM KNOW that sometimes even a GRAZE can be painful? How can one describe that nauseating, throbbing, wave that goes all the up your spine and then back down to your sack again, over and over? For me, words fail.

No balls for me, thank you.

Secret Life of Gravy — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 09:53:19 -0800

I think telling women to "get some balls" is offensive. Am I too sensitive? In the past couple of years the practice of telling women to "grow a pair" "sack up" "get some balls" and so forth has become more prevalent. I see it everywhere including Ask Me. My husband and I are split on this: he thinks it is equivalent to telling somebody to have some guts, I think it is ridiculously pro-male, anti-female. To me, telling a woman she needs balls means:
a) testicles are very desirable even if you are a woman
b) being a man is very desirable even if you are a woman
c) the only way to be courageous is to be masculine.

Would men find it offensive to be told to get some ovaries or grow a womb?

Am I being too sensitive? Is there another way of looking at this?

Are Nalgene water bottles really unsafe?

Loto — Sun, 26 Feb 2006 14:53:24 -0800

Are Nalgene water bottles really unsafe? So, a while ago there was a lot of hoopla about Nalgene water bottles with the recycling designation of #7 (a form of lexan, I think) causing all sorts of health problems in lab tests. However, the only information I can find is third-hand on sites of questionable repute.

At the time, I stopped using my nice Nalgene bottle, but I am curious if this actually panned out to be more than anything but scaremongering? Namely, can I start using my Nalgene bottle again without the fear of having my testicles shrink and die?

Painful issue with testicles rising over pubic bone

Ampa — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 21:12:12 -0800

TesticleFilter: Painful issue with testicles rising at point of orgasm. When I orgasm my testicles rise right out of my scrotum and end up either side of my penis sitting above my pubic bone. This leaves them prone to being squashed between my body and that of my girlfriend.

I realise that contraction of the scrotum is normal during orgasm, but to this extreme is obviously a painful problem. Certain positions reduce the chance of this happening... any position where gravity is keeping my balls down is helpful, where as positions such as girl on top tend to make the situation worse.

I can prevent my testicles from riding up if I hold a hand pressed against my pubic bone, or actually hold my scrotum / pull it down.

So... questions! Anyone else experience this issue? Any good ideas as to solutions? Would a cockring help? (From my understanding the position of the ring may prevent the testicles from rising so high)

the c-word (not NEARLY as sexy as the l-word)

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:32:46 -0800

Ugh. This is not a fun question. So (if you're a guy, at least), you know how you're supposed to do a testicular self-exam once every couple months? Well... I found a small hard lump, about a third the size of a pea, on my left testicle. Too much information, right? Well, it's your fault for reading. I've got a doctor's appointment to poke and prod at it in the morning (that'll be AWESOME, yes). I've done some research on the topic, and, as far as I can tell, it seems like it's almost certain to be, wait for it... cancer. It's painless, and doesn't seem to be fluid-filled or anything.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with this sort of thing, especially since this is such a potentially sensitive (natch) area. Or if someone miraculously has some other idea about what it could be, something that the American Cancer Society has failed to tell me.

Oy. This summer was going to be so good, too...

Ball movement...

saladin — Mon, 02 May 2005 15:51:19 -0800

A question about nads... So I can move my balls voluntarily. By contracting a muscle in my stomach, I can shift my testicles up a total distance of about one and a half inches, leaving what appears to be an empty scrotum, and when I release this muscle they quickly slide back into place.

I've been doing it since they were low enough to go anywhere, and never thought twice about it, but my girlfriend was so thoroughly impressed by my little talent the other day that she began bragging about it to her friends. This quickly led to an informal poll, and as it turns out, out of over 100 men questioned at this point, I'm the only one who can do this.

Googling around has yielded some fairly inconclusive information; apparently this contraction takes place involuntarily during orgasm and moments of extreme duress, but the rare site that mentions voluntarily movement always calls it "theoretically possible."

What I'm trying to figure out is, how widespread is this ability? Can anyone else here move their balls up and down (hands free)?

Have I finally found my true calling?

Where you come from, do men blow-dry their testicles?

stavrosthewonderchicken — Mon, 20 Sep 2004 23:06:27 -0800

Where you come from, do men blow-dry their testicles? [more inside] Here in Korea, I've started going to a gym regularly for the first time in my life, and I don't have a frame of reference. I'm... disconcerted by the habit of many of the men in the change room, once they get out of the shower, to fling one foot up on the counter in front of the mirror, nude, and use the blow dryer on their dangly bits. I use that thing on my head, before I go back to work.

Is this something that happens everywhere, or is it just here?