Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with teasing

Wit in Romeo and Juliet

Non Prosequitur — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:50:21 -0800

Romeo & Juliet: I seem to remember a portion in the play where someone exhorts "wit" to help them out, or says they're running out of wit—but I can never find it when look through the stuff. Is it just a false memory, or maybe something mentioned very much in passing? I searched through the text again and maybe Romeo saying, "But 'tis no wit to go" is supposed to have a double meaning (we shouldn't go to the event, I have no wit remaining?)

Mercutio saying, "Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint": this just seems very straightforward; I'm looking for an exhortation, or a request of sorts ("help me out, Wit!")

How do I let my friend know that his behavior is bothering me?

canine epigram — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:57:35 -0800

How do I politely let a friend know they're crossing the line from joking teasing to being hurtful and that their constant sarcastic, negative attitude is getting old? My longtime friend is someone like this person before the epiphany. He's big on the teasing and busting chops. He can be funny, but just as easily riding the line of being obnoxious followed up with 'just kidding.'

An example of the funny would: I'm a short guy. Hence a quip during a discussion of baby clothes for an friend's upcoming child, that I'd have some the new kid could use - the delivery was perfect and it was so absurd, I laughed until tears came to my eyes.

An example of the not funny:
Telling an old war story about a game from years past with a mock(?)-aggrieved tone, ending with a friendly "you douche."
Not funny and out of nowhere (except that we were with other gamers.)

Example of negativity that's bugging me more and more:
He comes in, comments on how we're heating the upstairs neighbors, and how he, living in an upstairs apt, hasn't had to turn on his apartment yet. To show me something on my computer, bitches about how much he hates my ergo keyboard and funny mouse. Points out a book on my bookshelf and comments how he could just never get into that one, just stopped caring. And so on. It sounds really minor, but when it happens more and more often, it really just starts to drive me up the wall.

I'm a fairly non-confrontational person and I really am not big on the sarcastic-edged teasing a lot of guys engage in. I'm aware that a big part of the solution (to both the teasing and the huge negativity) is sacking up and pointing out that his behavior is bothering me. It's how to do that without making a huge deal about it.

No doubt part of the problem is the recent election - he's fiercely conservative and thinks that Obama's one step from socialism. Despite our always being worlds apart politically, we've been friends a long time, but this has strained it quite a bit (he had a tendency to rant until our group made a no politics at the table rule). He and his wife live a fair drive away, so we've been seeing quite a bit less of them since the move, and the above behaviors don't make us any more inclined to reach out.

I wouldn't be writing this if I was ready to just walk away and lose a friend. I know that friendships change over a lifetime and sometimes people just drift apart, but I want to at least make an attempt to set things right.

Help me out, hivemind.

I want to be a nicer person

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:38:55 -0800

I can't stop antagonizing people. How do I stop? Lately, as a result of therapy sessions, I've discovered that I have a tendency to antagonize people.

Part of it is that I like to pull people's legs and tease them. Often, when I hang out with friends who have kids, I'll tease and make fun of the kids. I also do this with friends.

It's recently become a problem, because I think my tendency to tease is causing me to repel people. They often see my humor or teasing as being offensive or rude.

Problem is, I don't know how to stop it. It's an innate thing I find myself doing. I've tried to be more mindful, but often the first thing that pops to mind when interacting with someone is a teasing or antagonizing comment.

Any tips or resources I can consult to help me think before I speak and to change this behavior?

If you need follow-up, I've set up an email. It is likestotease at gmail dot com.

Why do they hate me?

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:42:13 -0800

Everyone at work makes fun of me. How can I deal with it? I recently started working at a new job. I'm a man, and most of my co-workers are older females. At first, things were fun. But, now I've noticed that my co-workers like to make fun of me. They make fun of my implied nerdiness, my sense of style, and anything else they can come up with.

It's supposedly in good humor, but sometimes I feel as if I'm being attacked for no good reason other than being there. Unfortunately, I'm not quick-witted enough to come up with zingers, but feel like telling them I'm hurt will only make me seem more weak.

What can I do?

how to help an 8yo deal with teasing?

luser — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:49:22 -0800

Our 8yo boy is very sensitive. Any teasing really seems to upset him, and of course that's the reaction the teaser is going for. How to help him? While extroverted, smart, funny, and kind, our boy has always been super sensitive to any kind of criticism or teasing. When he misbehaves, for instance, an angry look from me or his mom is often enough to bring him close to tears.

On the playground, any kind of teasing, or even the kind of verbal jousting all boys do, causes him to withdraw and sulk, and later he explains to us that it makes him "hate himself." We try to explain that teasing is what boys often do, that it's more of a game than a reflection on him personally, even pointing out the good-natured teasing that I do with my friends (his friends' dads) and how we all are just having fun.

But then a kid three years younger than him will make fun of his bellybutton at swim class (!) and he's ashamed and humiliated. What strategies can we suggest to him to take this kind of stuff more in stride, and not as a final judgment on him personally?

My shoes have been red all week so what's with the fifth day of jokes?

Anonymous — Sat, 24 May 2008 07:15:17 -0800

Why do people I know, both acquaintances and quasi-friends, bring up my oddities whenever we go out together? It annoys me, and I wonder if I'm overreacting. I've been told all my life that in the next stage, I would finally fit in, meet people "just like me". My parents told me that as they readied me for middle school, high school, then college, and finally grad school. I've never quite fit in - I'm bright and have a very dry sense of humor and am not great at socializing. Which makes it even more uncomfortable when people (gently) tease me about my quirks in every conversation they have with me.

*I like red. I have several pairs of red shoes and probably wear one piece of red clothing 3-4x weekly (either shoes, shirt, or jacket).

*I like hot food. I wouldn't say insanely hot, but I like pretty spicy stuff. Whenever I'm out with aforementioned social contacts I ask waitresses to make my dish "hot".

Several people I know make jokes about either my food preferences or my red clothes every single time I see them (on the order of 1-2x weekly). At first I thought the jokes were funny, too, but it has gotten totally old and now I bristle as they make the inevitable joke about my clothing. Even when I don't order hot food or wear red, they make jokes about the LACK of it.

I've wondered if it is because they don't know what else to say to me, or that this might be the only fact they remember about me and teasing me about my red shoes is a way of opening the conversation, but it gets pretty annoying.

Am I overreacting for finding this somewhat tiresome? It's like short people jokes except rather than new people constantly repeating the joke, it is the same person repeating the same joke.

Universality of Sing-Songing "I Know Something You Don't Know"?

heatherann — Mon, 22 Nov 2004 19:57:49 -0800

DiscourseAnalysisFilter: That I know something you don't know sing-song voice... how universal is that? Is it specific to North America? Do non-North American English-speaking kids know the tune for that phrase or others like "Iiiiii'm better than yoooouuuuu are" or "nyah nyah nyah nyah boo boo"? If not, is there another sing-song phrase they use for teasing? And how would one go about publishing their findings on such a question?