Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with tears

I'm such a crybaby! Is this okay??

sherber — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:22:07 -0800

Inspired by this old question about how guys react to girls crying... I want to know, how often do you cry? Is there an "average norm" for how often most people cry? I feel like I'm a fairly frequent crier. I go through crying spurts, probably related to stress and lack of sleep, where I cry more often than other times. Sometimes I will go weeks without crying, then it seems like suddenly I'll cry (sometimes every day!) for a short period of time before I'm suddenly just not quite as emotional. Most of the time it's stress, fear, or frustration that makes me cry.

I feel like the frequency of my crying is pretty abnormal, but I think some of this is just because in every relationship I've been in, the guy I'm with seems bewildered when I cry. Even the ladies in my family, who I'd consider really emotional people, don't cry very often (although I also don't see them all day every day, so there could be many times when they go off to shed a few tears and I wouldn't even know!) Growing up, I was told I was a crybaby often. I feel like this has become a part of my identity that I'm really insecure about, I feel really stupid every time I cry in front of someone.

Also, to be clear, by "crying" I don't necessarily mean sobbing, I just mean some tears and sniffles- usually enough to make your eyes look a little red or watery for a minute.

How do I fight back these tears?

Del Chimney — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:59:13 -0800

I need some techniques to help me get through a relatively heartfelt wedding speech without crying like a big ol' baby... I shall soon be acting as Best Man at a close friend's wedding. I've written my speech and it is awesome. It's hilarious and, I think, pretty touching too. This is my problem. When I've been practicing the damn thing I can't help but choke up when it comes to the more moving sections and I really do not want to do this on the day. I want everybody else to be in tears, not me.

I've got no problem with public speaking; I've done it many many times for work and even on occasion been a cabaret compere. However, I've never been in a position where the speech I was making was quite so personal or emotional.

Does anybody have any tips to help me keep it together?

cry baby cry

thatelsagirl — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:38:07 -0800

Are some tears saltier than others? I got some crummy news recently that had me squeezing out a few tears. Immediately, my eyes were bloodshot, puffy and required serious Visene-ing to get back to normal.

Yesterday, I watch Up and am crying after the opening montage. I sneak into the bathroom for some tissues and notice that after drying off my face I'm fine. Bright-eyed (bushy-tailed?), fine. No signs that Pixar had been twisting my emotions.

Why? I don't think that the quantity of tears is the issue (my crying spell was brief in the first example and embarassingly prolonged in the second). Could the depth of emotions felt be at play?

Just curious.

fake tears that won't run?

mcsweetie — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:44:20 -0800

I need fake tears for a photo shoot, but they have to stay put. how can I make some fake tears that, like the colors of the american flag, won't run?

Tears of Joy

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:01:55 -0800

My girlfriend sometimes cries during orgasm. It's not pain crying. The first time it happened it totally freaked me out, but she assured me it was all good, that it was about going beyond a really good feeling to one of being "overwhelmed." It's not just tears, either--it can be full on bawling. It's since become the high water mark of our intimate relations, which are not particularly unusual in any way--meaning we're not doing something really freaky, for which tears might be appropriate. I do my best to take full credit for pushing her climax that far, but it must be admitted that it's most likely when she's the active one. I'm widely experienced enough to think that this is, well, pretty unusual. Is it?

Glycerin tears and Encyclopedia Brown

vilthuril — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:53:11 -0800

Which Encyclopedia Brown book had the story about tear ducts? I seem to recall that there was a scientifically dubious story in one of the Encyclopedia Brown books that solved the mystery after Brown noticed that the tear from someone's eye ran from the outer corner, not the inner, and thus had to be fake. A perusal of the many Sobol volumes in two local bookstores did not yield a book containing this story.

1) Was this actually in an Encyclopedia Brown book? Perhaps it was another children's mystery?

2) Which book was it in?

3) Has it been removed from that book or does my local Barnes & Nobel suck (answer: yes)?

The Wettening

Bakuun — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 01:13:46 -0800

I am blessed with being surrounded by really funny people, who never fail to make me burst into ridiculous grins and chuckles. Except when I do, even before I do, my eyes water horribly - someone cracks a joke, and I'm furiously wiping my eyeballs even if it wasn't sidesplittingly hilarious. I'm a girl who enjoys wearing the occasional eye makeup, and you can imagine the results. Eesh! Please tell me I'm not the only one, and there's some way to make this... I don't know, better? Is it a symptom of something, can I be fixed or is it a quirk I have to put up with? It has a tendency of driving me absolutely mad given enough time. Halp!

No teardrops on my guitar, unfortunately

StrikeTheViol — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:09:54 -0800

I'm having problems being unable to cry and produce tears, and it's really getting annoying. Help me turn on the water. I had a couple eye infections over the past few years, and I've been having an increasingly hard time producing tears. I could be eating jalapenos watching Bambi's mother on infinite loop, and just a couple drops. My doctor wasn't keen on any probing, and said it's not terribly serious, but it takes forever to blink irritants out of my eyes. I've tried gently rubbing beneath my eyes, but I think I might be doing it wrong, as it hasn't worked very well. Is there anything I can do to increase my natural tear flow and stop supporting the shadowy eyedrop mafia?

Cello hole repair

coriolisdave — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:47:59 -0800

[LuthierFilter] So there's this hole in my beloved cello... Yesterday I slipped, fell, and landed on my (hard-cased) cello. Unfortunately, this has resulted in some distressing damage.

Can anyone out there in the Hive Mind give me any ballpark idea of what this might cost to repair, and what might be involved? Time frames /etc would be gratefully appreciated too. Alternatively, is this even repairable?

For reference, the instrument is fourteen years old, and bears the label of a known (but not renowned) Australian violin maker. Last verbal valuation I got was "oooh about $AU 20,000? Maybe more". Also, I understand there are a number of variables here -- I'm just after a rough idea of what might be involved, so that I am not entirely at the pointy end when Mr Expensive Repairer decides he needs a new car this year

"I’m not crying ... My eyes are just a little sweaty today"

enobeet — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 10:48:23 -0800

How do you not get emotional when something drastically bad happens to your family? At the risk of being called a "girly-man" or being told to "grow a pair" I'm going to go ahead and ask this question. I know that everyone here is nicer than that.How do you not get emotional when something drastically bad happens to your family?

In an effort to save face, here is a little back story. This weekend my brother-in-law was abruptly diagnosed with a brain tumor on his brain stem. This came as a big shock to the family. He's in his early 30's. His symptoms started only Wednesday with a slight double-vision, followed by a migraine-like-headache on Saturday/Sunday. While we're not as close as my real brothers, we are business partners, occasionally golf together and attend ball games. I'm not the kind of person that cries easily, haven’t cried since my childhood. I didn’t tear up on my wedding day or when my daughter was born. The closest I've come to crying was my eye’s moistening up at my grandfather’s funeral ... and now on Sunday. He has 2 young boys that are getting confused on why everyone is crying because "daddy only has a headache". I'm their only uncle that’s around them everyday, the other ones don’t come around but a few times a year. They need someone strong to lead them through all of this; their mother's a wreck (as to be expected).

That’s the story, on to the question.

What do you do when you feel your eye's getting wet and your voice starting to break, but don’t want it to go any further? Before anyone says that crying is a natural part of the healing process realize I know this and will come to terms with it on my own time, when everything is done. I've found that doing lengthy mathematics in my head works ok when I'm the observer (funerals, hospital waiting rooms, etc). But when I'm explaining to my nephews why daddy's going to be in the hospital for a long time, it’s quite difficult to add 78,945,789 and 34,652,356.

What techniques do you use? What works well? Give me some advice.

Big girls don't cry

Anonymous — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:47:24 -0800

What can I do to keep from crying at work when I'm in a performance review? I'm a professional woman working in the finance industry. I am normally assertive and have no difficulties with meetings or public speaking. However, whenever I'm in a performance review, the tiniest bit of conflict triggers the tears.

Today's example was me having a one to one meeting with my immediate supervisor 'Bob'. In this meeting, I told him about a meeting I had with the department manager 'Mary'. (Mary is Bob's boss.) Mary had criticised me, and I mentioned this criticism to Bob to see if he agreed with it, and whether I needed to make any changes in my performance. As soon as I brought it up, the tears started. I apologized, and carried on as well as I could, and to his credit, Bob did not make a big deal of it. (I also cried in the meeting with Mary when the original criticism was given.)

I don't want to be a crybaby. I'm an adult, and I can handle criticism. I could use help with any of the following: How to keep from crying at all. What to say/how to behave to the person I'm crying in front of when it happens. And how common is this? I can't be the only person who cries at work. Or am I? Am I a freak?

I've set up a throwaway address at crybabyatwork@googlemail.com if you want to respond privately.

Request for waterworks manual

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 00:01:15 -0800

How does one cry? I've been under immense stress lately, and it seems to just be balling up in my head. When my mind is least clear, I get an overwhelming need to cry. That feeling one gets at the sad parts of movies, in the back of the throat. But, stronger. However, I cannot seem to get to crying, sobbing, or even tears. It has been years since I last cried. As a guy, I wonder if there is something I'm not aware of. Maybe there is some method, or technique that I never learned or maybe I forgot. I've scoured the internet and only found things for crocodile tears and acting, or worse, research telling me of the benefits of crying. I've wanted to ask friends and family, but I feel they'd think I've fallen insane. Crying isn't much talked about. Are there tricks? Tips? Anything? I think I could function better or just let some of this stress out if I could just cry. Help.

SD card failure; impending heart failure

stevil — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 13:52:12 -0800

My SD card has died (or has it?) - filled with pictures. Is it possible to get the pictures back, if Windows won't even "see" the card? I've got a SanDisk 512 SD card, and I just got a Nikon D50 DSLR camera. I took it out about 10 days ago and took 200 pics, some of them actually GOOD. Took the SD card out, and with a USB-based-SD-card-reader I look at 'em and showed 'em around and so on.

I left the SD card sitting in the USB reader sticking out of the USB port on the outside of my PC (WinXP). This may have been my mistake.

Today I went to move the pictures onto the hard drive, edit 'em and post 'em on flickr. I can't. The Removable Drive shows up in My Computer, but I can't open. I can't right click on it. It just goes into deep slowdown mode.

I tried using another card (in fact, a memory stick) in the same USB reader and that works fine. It's not the reader. I put the card back in the camera. Oh-oh. This card cannnot be used.

What the hell?

Have I trashed the card? Was it from sitting out? If Windows won't recognize it, I can't even reformat it, let alone get the pictures off of it?

Any ideas or experiences here?

Thanks

How to prevent/stop tears?

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 04:44:24 -0800

Does anyone know any techniques to avoid tears when they're on their way? Is there anything to help staunch the flow of tears - both physical and mental strategies? For either happy and sad occaisons? Or is there absolutely nothing one can do?

How to calm eyes that are red and puffy from crying.

gottabefunky — Sun, 10 Oct 2004 21:19:33 -0800

Puffy eyes from crying...[mi] A friend of mine, whenever she cries in the afternoon or later, even a little bit, has seriously puffy eyes the next day that last for hours. She's tried everything - staying up, cold compresses, sliced cucumbers - to no avail. Any ideas to prevent/treat this?