Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with surname and namechange

I'm trying to weigh the pros/cons of changing my surname

picklenickle — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 09:57:21 -0800

Should I change my name, and if I do, when is the best time to do it? I'm not getting married, but my current surname bothers me. It's a hyphenated name, and a lot of people don't know how to deal with it. They'll lop off the first half or the second half, and this can lead to complications if my name has to be entered in a database or something (especially if said database does not allow hyphens). Also, because it's hyphenated, it's very long, hard to spell, and not easy to remember. As a digital artist, I want people to be able to remember me and find me and my portfolio via Google, and this can be difficult for the aforementioned reasons. Several times I've had old acquaintances and coworkers try to search for me online but fail because they look for the wrong thing, which can delay their message. It might seem petty but it's something that has been bothering me intensely for a very long time. I find myself getting frustrated just looking at my name.

On the other hand, will changing my name will just result in a bunch of other complications? I'm currently a college student, I depend on financial aid, and I find myself getting paranoid that the name change will result in some kind of complication with regards to FAFSA and my school. I already have enough issues with them messing up my address changes! Also, I'll have to go back to all my old schools to get my name retroactively changed, contact my old employers/coworkers, and all my other acquaintances to let them know of my name change, because I don't want to be searching for a job and have there be a mismatch during background/reference checks. I'm especially worried that when people are skimming over my resume/cover letters that they'll overlook a note about a name change (is that even the appropriate time to make that note?).

I have considered having a "pen name" for my artwork and just not legally change my name, but the issue is that most of my "regular" jobs use me for my artistic services (like art for properties while working at a real estate agency, or doing scientific illustrations/diagrams while working as a lab tech). Would it be weird to have my legal name on my resume but refer to a portfolio with a different name?

Any advice would be appreciated.

How can we pick the perfect surname for us?

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 07:12:48 -0800

How can we pick a new surname? My surname means nothing to me, it's not a family name. The surnames of my biological parents aren't acceptable to me or my children for various reasons.

My children hate their surname because it reminds them of their father and the pleasure he takes in it being a famous criminal surname, so they want to drop it and start afresh. They are old enough and mature enough to understand what that entails.

I too would like to start afresh. The only family surname I would willingly use sounds like a manufactured stage name when combined with our first names.

I am not asking for suggestions for surnames. I am asking for a thought process or a brainstorming method that would guide us to decide, as a family, on a suitable surname.

Anonymous because some family members read Mefi and I don't want their control-freak input into this decision.

Mrs. asnider will actually be Mrs. herownname, what problems might this cause?

asnider — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:54:36 -0800

Possible issues of not changing your last name when you get married, what might they be? OK, another wedding-related question for you, MetaFilter.

My fiancee doesn't plan to change her name when we get married. This is no problem for us or for any of our family (as far as I know). But we are wondering if there are any issues that might pop up in the future as a result of this decision?

Mostly, the answer seems to be "no," but there is a lot of weird scare-mongering online and I'm having a hard time parsing out what is accurate from what is not.

I read this thread from October, but it seems to mostly focus on health care issues.

Are there other issues that could pop up for a couple without a shared last name? If you have experienced weird problems because you and your spouse do not have the same last night, I'd love you hear your insights.

We're not too worried about any serious legal issues (though, please tell me about them if they exist). Mostly, we're concerned about the minor annoyances that might pop up...we'd like to know what these things are so that we can be prepared to deal with them if/when we have to face them.

Relevant details: we live in Canada, specifically in Alberta (but there is a remote possibility that we'll have to relocate for work, so issues in other provinces might also be relevant). She owns a house and car, and we'll be adding my name as co-owner on both of these major items.

Nice to meet you. I know another Grace Lee! In fact, I know 8, and I'm married to one.

nemutdero — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 01:22:34 -0800

I've been fantasizing about changing my very common last name for several years. Now that I am a fledgling academic professional, the time has come to make a decision. Should I do it? Think of a very common East Asian last name. Now, think of a popular Asian-American female first name. About 5-10% of you have probably guessed my name. I would like to legally change my last name to make it more unique.

My name wasn't such a big deal during and before undergrad, other than fleeting moments of being annoyed when I encountered others with the same name. I spent parts of my life in two other countries using my other (ethnic) first name, which is very unique, so having a common name in the U.S. has always felt quite strange to me. (I do recognize that the recognizability conferred by a unique name can be a double-edged sword. However, being told every few weeks by complete strangers that my name is terrifically common is also no fun.)

Personal reasons aside, I am now at the point where I must come to a decision about changing my name for professional reasons. I am a graduate student and an academic-in-training with a few publications under my belt, but nothing major yet. If all goes well, I will someday be working as a research scientist. From what I've seen, I've come to believe that having a unique/memorable last name generally helps you as you try to build a reputation in your field. It would be nice to not get confused with the oodles of other people in my research subfield with the same last name (or even first name, too) as me.

To complicate matters a bit more, I am also planning to be a physician someday. Since doctors rely on their last names heavily for identification purposes, I imagine that it would be pretty frustrating to be one of multiple Dr. Lastnames in the same department. The last time I went to my university eye clinic, I noticed that 4 out of the 10 or so ophthalmologists listed on the directory board had the same last name... mine.

OK, enough. My plan is to take my current last name (which is my father's last name) and add my mother's last name after it, separated by a hyphen, e.g. Li-Chang. This new last name is not aesthetically optimal, nor is it ethnically authentic, but it is very unique and I believe the advantages would outweigh the negatives.

Other potentially relevant points: I am late-twenties, single (and thus bracing myself for the flurry of "What! You! MARRIED?!" emails). Parents/siblings are generally supportive of the idea.

My questions are:
1) Have you changed your last name for mainly professional reasons, and if so, what was your experience like?
2) If someone you know did this, would you consider it reasonable, or silly/narcissistic/unnecessary? Would I be better off fabricating a different reason to give to people?
3) Should I announce this change publicly to coworkers and friends (e.g. by mass email), or do a stealth introduction (e.g. quietly changing my email name and signature)?

All advice will be greatly appreciated, even more so if specific to careers in academia/medicine. Thanks!

Future Mr. and Mrs. Mittenbex.

mittenbex — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 17:58:21 -0800

Changing my last name in New York. I'm getting married but I'm not sure I want to take my future husband's last name.

But... I'd LOVE to not have MY last name anymore. (Our last names are very similar)

I'd like a completely seperate last name that I might be willing to hyphenate with his last name.

I've read the guidelines on changing your last name once married but as far as I understand it only says a woman can take the guy's last name or he can take hers or you can hyphenate/use a combination of the two.

What are my options and what is the best way to go about it? Will I have to hire a lawyer? About how much would it cost in legal fees to go through this process?

I'm on Long Island so if you people think I need a lawyer - I'll gladly accept recommendations.

Change my name while living at current residence, or waiting till I move?

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:49:50 -0800

I'm changing my last name. Should I do it now or wait until I get a new place of residence? I want to legally change my last name, primarily because there are some unsavory people I am related to, and I don't ever want them to know where I live or have them track me down. Or at least make it as hard as possible for them to find me. (Some of them are criminals, some are not. None of them have personally threatened me, only slandered me to an old employer.) None of them are immediate family. (Even if they do end up finding out some way, I'm set on changing my name regardless. It's just a matter of when.)

Should I change it now while I am still at my current address, which they are aware of, or wait until I get a new home in my current name and then change it?

Also, my state requires 3 weeks of publication of the name change in a newspaper published in my county. Is there either any way to get around this, or can I get away with publishing it in a tiny-run newspaper (such as those senior papers given away free at restaurants), buried in the back in the smallest print possible? (I know YANAL but I have one in mind if I need to contact one.)

Any other thoughts?

Née PleaseDon'tRemindMe?

thisjax — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 06:25:12 -0800

I'm about to toss my current last name and take a different one, for non-marriage-related reasons. For what/how long do I need to tell people my "maiden" name so that they realize that I existed before recently? I'm currently FirstName MiddleName Parent1Surname. Given that I've been estranged from Parent 1 and their family for most of my life, I've considered changing my name to FirstName MiddleName Parent2Surname. I'd rather not change my name to FirstName MiddleName Parent1Surname (as a second middle name) Parent2Surname — I don't want any association whatsoever with Parent 1 or their family. Also, all 4 names together are well over 30 characters.

Other than submitting all the necessary legal/financial/academic documentation, I'm not sure how to handle the logistics of entirely discarding one's surname. I'm still in university, but I've have a reasonable amount of work history (as well as employment-relevant Google results) under my current last name. At what point do I mention my previous name to prospective employers? Are there any other circumstances where I'll have to let people know about my previous name? Is this situation potentially complicated enough to warrant me keeping my current surname and adding the new one as a hyphenate?

If it matters, I'm in Ontario, Canada.

We have an announcement!

arcticwoman — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 12:29:46 -0800

My partner and I are in the process of changing our surnames. When this is done, we'd like to send out some announcement cards to friends/family etc to let everyone know. Where can I find cards to that effect? I've googled "name change announcement," "name change card" and several variations on this, but all I get are letters announcing the change of a company/business name. I'm looking for something classy and cheery saying something like "arcticwoman and otherarcticwoman would like to inform you that they have changed their surname to..."

If pre-made cards like this don't exist, we'll have to make our own. What would be the easiest way to do this, and, other than the dry and perfunctory way I said it in the above paragraph, how would I word such an announcement?