Last week, my partner admitted that he's been not just hiding things, but outright lying to me. The revelations hurt, but I need honesty if we're to stay together. How do I make it safe for my partner to tell me the truth when it's repeatedly been so startling and upsetting? Difficulty level: partner is dealing with Major Depression, and has been near-suicidal. [more inside]
My partner has been wrestling with alcohol and sexual shame for a long time. This week, he confided in me that he wants to seek help based upon a boundary I set for myself, that he does not want to live like this anymore. I don't want to "over-help" or engage in any co-dependent behavior and I want to be a loving partner in this. But I also need to protect myself and our kids. What can I do or what should I avoid? Specifics inside. [more inside]
I grew up witnessing my parents' verbally abusive marriage. They are combative and insulting toward each other. Also, my mom has always blamed her marriage and kids for her stalled career and other unhappiness in her life. When I think of having a relationship, I automatically feel like it will drag me down and make my life worse. I've come to understand over the years that others actually think of a relationship as a safety net and source of comfort. I want to think of them that way too. How can I adjust my mentality? [more inside]
How can i help support my partner when he's going through a rough time, when i feel sad too? [more inside]
Looking for resources for supporting a partner (and my own mental health) in an ongoing, possibly abusive relationship with a family member. [more inside]
Oh, MeFites, I could use your insight. I'm probably going to have to call things off with my girlfriend - and it's mostly because she's depressed and out of resources to deal with things, so small things are becoming huge stressors on a near-daily basis. I feel like this makes me a horrible person, but things are so fraught, I don't know what else to do. Help? [Long, full of snowflakes and sadness] [more inside]
I've started to date again after the end of an eight year relationship. The good news is I've met an amazing woman and we're starting to develop a more serious relationship. The part I (male) need help with is that it turns out she was physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused in several previous relationships over the course of about 15 years. How do I support her as a new relationship partner? Can you recommend any good resources for me to read? [more inside]
Is asking for immediate help from your partner unreasonable? [more inside]
How to resolve relationship issue regarding how to communicate and support one another in times of crisis. [more inside]
My boyfriend and I are about to take The Bar Exam in less than a week. A few days ago, my boyfriend was having severe anxiety attacks and suddenly decided he'd be better off at his folks' house. We talked about it, I supported it, and he flew home that night. Now I'm alone in our house and I'm freaking out dealing with my own depression and anxiety. I know (I know, I really know) that what happened isn't his fault, and that he needs to do what is best for him, and that this doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. But my irrational me keeps feeling abandoned. I need advice on how to recontextualize the situation or something because with four days left I don't really have time or energy to spend being irrationally angry. [more inside]
How to deal with a sensitive personal situation with an ex? [more inside]
Where on the internet can you go for anonymous support when you are feeling just a little blue? [more inside]
Has anyone ever had a significant other or loved one with agoraphobia? How did you come to understand their situation? How did you deal with it? Is there anything the one that isn't suffering from it in the relationship can do to make it easier? "It" could be either the relationship or the agoraphobia itself.
Can anyone recommend some good online resources that might help someone going through the breakup of a long term relationship? More along the lines of emotional support rather than legal.