Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with suicide and help

Witnessing the suicide of a stranger

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:55:05 -0800

How do I find other people who have witnessed the suicide of a stranger? Last week I was driving over the SF Bay Bridge and watched someone get up on the railing and jump off. I found out later that he died and was picked up by the authorities.

I did all the things I was supposed to do - called 911, checked in with the authorities, let myself cry before driving a vehicle etc. I've been in touch with friends who are therapists and gotten plenty of hugs and loving people to support me.

But the image of him getting up on the side of the bridge and the way his body looked as he jumped haunts me. I know it's probably too early to expect that it go away. I'm just struggling with what meaning to find in it all and how to find people who won't judge what I am experiencing.

I've looked for support sites online and have found a number of places that are for friends or family who have had someone they love commit suicide. But I don't even know this guy's name. I wouldn't want to be intruding on what is obviously a very sensitive time for someone who has a friend or family member die.

Part of what is making this challenging for me is that I don't know much about what happened, or why it happened. There is not much more information I can learn. I also have found that while some family or friends have tried to be helpful, they have had a tough time not assigning blame, being judgmental or otherwise putting their own issues about death and suicide onto my plate. Which feels even more confusing and alienating.

I'd like to find people to talk to who get what I'm going through. Are there support groups or online places for people who have witnessed the suicide of a stranger(s)? I think it might be really helpful to talk to someone else who has experienced something similar. Can anyone recommend a place to get support? I've googled but I'm not coming up with anything useful.

I welcome any thoughts or suggestions. email:zerzik at gmail dot com

Looking for advice & direction in this difficult time

Anonymous — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 13:38:50 -0800

I am 21 and have serious money problems, including a huge debt. The problems are turning into a depression. They affect my ability to commute to work (by car). And now, To top it off, an old friend of mine hung himself 2 days ago. Why? Because of money problems. I dont want to kill myself at all, but I am deeply depressed. Happy Stories, Life Advice, or insight .. all deeply apprecaited. Hello.

I am a young man at 21 years of age. I turn 22 in a few months.

I have a job in the internet field paying about $400 a week after taxes. I am at an EXTREMELY difficult time of my life right now. For many reasons, mostly money related:

1. I have about $10,000 in credit card debt which I have not made any payments on. I have been served papers already. This makes any applications for credit options impossible.
2. I have many unpaid parking tickets and my license is currently revoked, for 1 year starting when I turn it in (haven't done that yet)
3. My used car (only transportation to work) is on the edge of death and also becoming unsafe to drive.
4. I can probably afford ONE of the following .. all of which I am having trouble finding at a do-able price:
a. A studio apartment close to where I work (so i wotn have to drive nor need a car)
b. Another used (read: abused) car for transportation between my parents' house (where I live currently) and my work (about 14 miles away)
c. Repairing my current car. Thsi will eat up ALL of my savings for sure.
4. My parents divorced 5 years ago. The parent I live with, Mom, refuses to help with transportation to my job. My dad commutes to work and cannot help with transport either.
5. There are no public transportation options available. Therefore I will lose my job once my car blows up
6. I have no college education. I had to drop out due to.. you guessed it, transportation problems.
7. My mom is on the verge of kicking me out of the house. Or makign me pay rent. Neither of which I can afford right now.
And, as if things couldn't get worse...
8. An old friend committed suicide (hung himself) 2 days ago, mostly because of money problems. He once said "I hate money. It will be the death of me"

I need some sort of direction. I am definitely experiencing a depression and I don't know where to turn or what to do. My friends death makes this 1000% times worse on me. Please metafilter .. help?

Helping a Depressed Friend

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 22:49:16 -0800

Tonight, one of my housemates checked into a safehouse. Unbeknownst to anyone else in the house, he's been cutting himself, and he's suffering from heavy depression/suicidal thoughts, mostly due to school and being away from home.

What can I do to help out? Things to do when he gets home? What would be nice to bring him while he's getting help? For anyone who's been in this situation, what did you find especially helpful/uplifting?

Help My Brother

Coffeemate — Thu, 29 Jul 2004 11:22:54 -0800

Help save my brother's life. [more inside] My 19-year-old brother is blowing every chance he gets to do things right. He was a senior in high school last year taking all his classes at the local college through a PSEO program. First semester he got B’s and D’s, second semester he stopped going to class and failed every one. Because he didn’t pass an English class, he didn’t graduate from high school in May. He was given the chance to do an English course through independent study; his work was due today. Our parents asked him if he’d turned it in and he said, “yes,” but when my mom called the teacher she found that nothing had been done all summer.

He attempted suicide in May when our parents found out that he wouldn’t graduate from high school, and I fear he will do it again if pushed too hard about this most recent setback. He is angry and verbally abusive towards my mother. Any time she asks him a question he flies off the handle and screams at her. My parents are incredibly angry and hurt that he lied to them again and doesn’t seem to understand the consequences.

He had been accepted to Iowa State for this fall and is excited to go, but without his high school diploma he can’t go to college. He is brilliant but seems completely unmotivated to do anything but lurk in the basement and play video games. What can be done to help him?