I am having a hard time figuring out how to fix some of my mundane, yet very real, problems. Is it time for a counselor or psychologist? Any advice out there that could help me sort all this out? More (lots more) details inside. [more inside]
My wife is overworked, underslept, and stressed, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice that might be helpful. She has a job that requires long hours and causes her a lot of stress that she is committed to until the end of the school year. On top of that, she has a job for a few hours every weekend that she is committed to for a while as well. We also have a two year old daughter and we are climbing out of debt. [more inside]
My dad is going for a Lexiscan on Friday and the internet seems filled almost exclusively with horror stories. . [more inside]
I work in an extremely stressful field in which I make life and death decisions every day. I've been doing it for a long time, and I have good coping mechanisms, but recently my exposure to death and suffering has gone way up. I'd like to connect with a therapist in the Northern Virginia area with experience with traumatic stress, who could help me adapt to the demands this is putting on me. Someone experienced in treating members of the military might be helpful, but is definitely not necessary. Mostly I'm looking for somebody who has worked with people who encounter a lot of death and need to build appropriate coping skills.
My life has been a bit hard for a while now. It has been ruthless #@$* for a few months. I need some strategies to force myself to keep going. Lots of moaning follows. [more inside]
My dissertation hand in deadline is within two months. I still have a sh*tload left to do, and I fear I'm sinking fast. I have well meaning friends and colleagues that offer support, but the stress is killing me because I can't trust my own instincts and I don't know how to ask for help. [more inside]
I'm a middle manager in a branch of an international organization, and its head, my boss, is nuts. Really. She seems gripped by wild ambition and self-importance one minute, and extreme, childlike helplessness the next. She refuses to manage anything, at all, and can't stay on topic during a three-minute conversation, let alone set any kind of priorities for the organization. She never refuses a request from higher management and is constantly pushing us all to work longer and more unpaid hours. Sometimes I think she is addicted to stress, since she always chooses the most difficult, time-consuming, complicated path. Every. Single. Time. [more inside]
Do you have a job where you deal with the public? If so, how do you deal? [more inside]
I was never diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I have OCD. I understand that irrational guilt, doubt, and anxiety are classic issues associated with OCD. Are there any tricks or ways that anyone can say has helped them to step back and evaluate circumstances somewhat objectively to decide if guilt and anxiety towards something is appropriate or irrational? I have found that explaining a set of circumstances to people whose opinion I trust and them telling me that my concern is irrational has only helped a little. Thank You.
P.S. I have already set up a first meeting with a psychologist so that base is covered.
I'm in a LTR and my partner is unhappy in her academic job and considering a major career change. How can I best support her? [more inside]
My partner of several years and I are in a long-distance relationship, and I think I've come to the point where, due to a whole bunch of things (which probably mostly rely on a fundamental difference in what we want in terms of a romantic relationship), that I want out. At the same time, I do care about them, and since they are in a really rough spot, I don't want to abandon them. [more inside]
I watch many people who I care a lot about suffer from depression. I would sincerely do anything to help them, and do whatever I can think of: conversations, little notes and random texts, hanging out, offering help with thinking through options if they want it, etc. But, as someone who is lucky to not have 'been there', it's hard to know when I'm crossing a line and what's really needed. In fact, I think most of my efforts translate to "I know you mean well, but..." even though I'm also one of the few people these friends go to when things get bad. On top of worrying and trying to help, I also spend (probably too much) time thinking about what they're going through and what would be most helpful. It's exhausting for me and stressful, but it's personally not an option not to care. I end up internalizing this stuff and it affects my normal activities, even though at the end of the day, I'm not the one suffering. I want to be as good a friend and resource as possible to these people I truly care about and also want to avoid falling victim to anxiety or depression myself because of it. Any tips from either the 'been there' - depressed and knows what's helpful - perspective or the sincerly-caring-friend side of this equation would be much appreciated. Thanks.
I just started an intense school program and I have very little sex drive or social drive. This is frustrating for my boyfriend. [more inside]
I'm caring for my sick and declining wife, but my own anger issues have made me a terrible caregiver at times, let alone partner. We both love each other deeply, and want to spend our final years together, but if I can't stop making her miserable I have to go. I'm already pursuing therapy, have a psychiatrist, etc. I am not ashamed to seek help; the stakes are so high. I will be devastated if I have to walk away because I am a toxic presence, and so I'm determined to address my problems and be the husband she needs. I'm seeking ideas and advice on how to eliminate the bad so we can enjoy the good. More below... [more inside]
It's clear to me that my job is a sick system
, and I don't know how to get out. [more inside]
I seem to have the patience, judgment and self-control of a two-year-old. Nothing against two-year-olds, I'm sure many of them are lovely people, but little is expected of them beyond not biting people. I've mastered the not-biting part, it's the rest I have a problem with. [more inside]
I'm getting married in 10 days, and it's stressful for everybody involved, mostly because I have controlling parents who are intricately involved with every part of this. Any tips/advice for coping with this situation? Lots of culture-specific snowflake details inside. [more inside]
My long-term partner and I had relationship problems, spent some time apart, and are in the process of getting our lives back into one home. Now that I've moved my stuff back in, problems that I thought we'd dealt with are happening again. Is it time to go back to therapy or is there something else I can be doing? [more inside]
I made a professional mistake which I had to own up to very publicly. No one, not my boss or my co-workers or my friends seems to think any less of me for it, but it's eating away at me and has had me in agony for the better part of a week. How do I stop dwelling on this? [more inside]
I'm going through a bout of depression and while it isn't affecting my work, it is affecting how I behave at work. I realised today that some of my colleagues have picked up on this change in behaviour. How can I maintain my dignity and privacy? [more inside]
How do I effectively communicate to my husband that I'm afraid that his job stress is spilling over into our family life and negatively affecting his relationship with our kids? [more inside]
What are your strategies and best practices for being a cog in an inefficient bureaucracy? How do you compartmentalize the frustration and leave it in the office? [more inside]
I have on-going problems with work anxiety and impostor syndrome. The worst part? I’m starting a new, high-demand job in two weeks and need help now. [more inside]
I think my friend tried to fondle me in my sleep. [more inside]
Need some career advice: Internet Brands
has had me for a few interview for a Project Manager, but Glassdoor
has some really bad things to say (and good, but those can be phony placements). Has anyone ever worked or know someone that worked there? What's it like? [more inside]
Beyond the initial challenges of quitting smoking, what are the longer-term effects? How does life actually change? [more inside]
So I'm on a performance plan at work due to dishonesty. Please help me turn this around. [more inside]
Marriage fizzling; need your best holiday coping methods to get through the rest of the year. [more inside]
Nearly everything I liked about my current job has evaporated, and I am left with stress and anxiety. In addition, I've always been indecisive about what my career should be. At this point should I try to build a career at my current company or leave and try something else? [more inside]
Do you have a pessary for urinary stress incontinence? What's it like? [more inside]
So, I just started my PhD program. Are my feelings normal? I'm worried that I'm not working enough and that my ideas are bad. [more inside]
What’s the best, scientifically-supported mindset for success, resilience, confidence, and rebounding from stress and failure? [more inside]
Routine mammogram yesterday, not entirely unexpected secondary mammogram and ultrasound next week. Please help me calm down about it. [more inside]
What can I do to manage my stress and anxiety (about being the center of attention, the logistics, and getting married itself) on and leading up to my wedding day? And do you have any other advice to help me enjoy and appreciate my wedding? [more inside]
My husband has just gotten a new job in his dream company at much higher pay/benefits after a long and stressful search. That's the good part. The bad part is this job involves a lot more responsibility, longer hours, commuting time, and a much bigger project to oversee. How can I help him deal with the increased workload and stress when he is clearly having trouble adjusting to it? [more inside]
New-ish guy friend I've been dating is experiencing a (potential) flare-up of an old, painful and worrying health issue/injury. How can I support him without going overboard into mothering mode, overstepping his/my boundaries, or otherwise screwing things up? [more inside]
I feel like a mess and never thought I'd end up here. I'm broke, headed for eviction, jobless, no insurance, on food stamps, overweight, have panic attacks, can't afford a therapist, have no friends that I can talk to about any of this. Did I mention I am 40 and married with two kids? If I don't get a handle on all this, my family is about to hit the skids. Ideas? [more inside]
I'm being asked to engage in business practices that are probably bad for my company in the long run and driving me nuts personally. I'm also a new temp and not in a great position to rock the boat. Is there any way to make this situation more bearable? [more inside]
Is leaving my job because of (possibly irrational) fears an example of avoidance? Or a realization of limitations? [more inside]
I'm trying to convince my wife to attend marriage counselling with me, but I'm having a hard time doing so. Her opinion of marriage counselling (based on what she's read online) is that it's a waste of money and that a marriage counsellor would "only tell us what we already know." When I've pointed out that a marriage counsellor is there to help facilitate communication, her response has been "if we need a facilitator to help us communicate we're fucked anyway."
Reasons for needing counselling + bonus snowflakery inside. Apologies; it turned into a bit of a mind-dumpy wall of text.
I am in my 7th year of a science Ph.D. at MIT and I need to graduate. I have invested an incredible amount of time and energy in this process, and I definitely have a Ph.D. level of skills and knowledge by now. 7 years is not outside the norm for my department. The problem is that a number of circumstances occurring in a row have lead to a bad/toxic relationship with my advisor and slow performance on my part. [more inside]
Having a very stressful time lately, and not sure how to ask for help from the SO. [more inside]
Help me deal with depression/stress-related weight loss and the resulting loss of body image. And how can I healthfully gain it back? [more inside]
My wife is struggling with stress levels at work. How can I help her reduce them without patronising her, and at the same time stop being so selfish when dealing with her stress? [more inside]
The psychological fallout of my wife's 13-month unemployment is going to make me crack. Please help me deal. [more inside]
How can I motivate myself to work? What did you do to help kick yourself in the posterior and get going? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I panic at work when the stress is on. Can you help me handle the fire more gracefully? [more inside]
I've got two full-time jobs and depression/anxiety. I'm a zombie. Help me. [more inside]
I got a job six months ago as a technical recruiter for a third-party contractor whose field techs replace parts for warranty customers. It's a family business with about a dozen employees in the office. Things are hinky there. Please help me understand what's going on and make a decision. Sorry, but it's very long.
Stress is starting to hurt me. What can I do? How can I dramatically reduce stress in my life? And/or take a budget vacation? [more inside]