Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with straight

Help me come!

Anonymous — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:49:36 -0800

How can I get off from oral sex? I'm a 30 year old straight male, and have an incredibly difficult time with blow jobs. As in, I can never seem to get off from one. I enjoy them. They feel great. I just don't seem to come from them (or if I do, it takes a tortuously long time).

Oh, don't get me wrong - it has happened before on rare occasions, but it is certainly the exception rather than the rule. This has caused no small degree of consternation for my various female partners over the years, with a couple even breaking down in tears thinking they were doing something wrong.

I am thinking that this sort of response has turned on itself and become a point of anxiety for me, making me think more about trying to come than simply enjoying the BJ...but I can't seem to turn it OFF. Then I start to feel guilty about how long it's taking, etc., etc. God forbid there is some other distraction present such as, say, the chance of getting caught.

What can I do to just relax and enjoy the ride? How can I finish? How normal is this?

Excuse me, Sir/Madam

carbide — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:53:27 -0800

I'm trying to grow out the straightest hair in the world, from pixie-short. I'm a woman. It's going fast, but I need some in-between styles or tricks to avoid looking like I'm 15 in the meantime. Bonus question about really loose perms. I have ludicrously straight hair, as every hairdresser I've ever been to seems to feel the need to tell me. There's a lot of it, it grows fast, and it is not going to take any kind of curl no matter how hard I try. Really, no curl. It's healthy and in great condition, in spite of swimming lots and dyeing, and has only ever shown damage after a week of five bleachings.

Here is a self-link to photos, with the most recent squinty shot being a few weeks old.

I have done the pixie-to-shoulder-length thing a few times before. This time, though, I'm already feeling self-conscious about looking young for my age (not terminal but it's leading to frustration) and making anything seem scruffy no matter how hard I try. I don't want to look like a sulky teenage haystack for the next 6-8 months and I'm not wild enough about my appearance to take the additional hit.

By shoulder-length, I plan to go for a fringe/bangs, so the front part is not a massive worry, but I feel mullety letting the back grow. I don't mind slowing it down by a month or two if that's the cost of having it decent-looking for some of the interim.

Any suggestions for cute, hip straight-hair styles that might suit along the way would be super super great. Photos much appreciated.

Bonus question: has anyone had a really loose perm (from dead-straight to very loose curl) and found it worthwhile? How often did you need to get it done? I can't afford to add €100 in hair styling every month or so, but I am desperate enough that I might be willing to do it a few times to break long stretches of Ugly.

Also, I'm in rural Ireland. No hair training schools, no extensions, etc. Cheers!

I think I'm straight. Now what?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:33:23 -0800

After a long time in a lesbian relationship, I'm coming to the realization that I think I'm straight. I don't want to leave my wife (I really love her), but I can't stop thinking about men. Please help me figure this out. Sexually explicit details inside. NSFW When I met the woman who I ended up marrying, I had never thought about sexuality. I had had a very few relationships with men, but was very young. When she told me she was interested in me I thought I could give it a try, fell in love with her, and started identifying as bisexual.

At first the sex was awful (we were both inexperienced and had no idea how to have sex, never mind lesbian sex), but it got better. Over time, though, I found that I had the best orgasms when I fantasized about men during sex. It took a long time for me to tell her this, but I did, and she was fine with it. Eventually it came to be that I could only orgasm when I fantasize about men. She knows this too, and it doesn't bother or worry her at all.

It bothers and worries me. I feel like I'm not having sex with her, rather, I'm masturbating with a hands-free vibrator. I've tried not fantasizing, I've tried keeping my eyes open so that I can see her, and all it does is keep me from coming, make me frustrated, and tire out her arm.

Thinking about this, I've realized several things: I have never really checked out other women in a sexual way. I see a sexy woman and I think "I'd like to look like her" rather than "I'm sexually attracted to her." I look at men, though. The only times I've ever fantasized about women are in fantasies where men are watching me have sex with a woman, and still, the fun only starts when the man/men join in. All of my porn is straight porn, or else it pictures just one woman, and I always identify with the woman and not with the person off-scene who is playing with her.

Recently, my wife and I have pretty much stopped having sex. I know this is partly just a function of being in a ltr, but I feel more and more like we are best friends who happen to share a bed, rather than romantic partners. We've bought toys, we've watched porn, we've tried a bit of kink, but nothing seems to be bringing back the spark. I'm horny, but just don't want to have sex with her. She has said the same, but has said that I'm seeming colder and colder.

I love her so much. She is my world and my light and my heart. She takes care of me, makes me feel beautiful, makes me feel special, makes me want to be a good person. She's my best friend, my confidante, and I trust her implicitly.

Still, I fantasize about a stubbly chin nuzzling against my neck. I dream of being the shorter one in a hug. Of pressing my face against a flat chest, wrapping my arms around narrow hips. I think about sex with a man. A lot. Not any particular man, just a man.

Am I straight? How can I know if I'm straight as opposed to bisexual? Am I just stuck in a monogamy rut? Can I fix myself for this relationship or am I fucked? Am I going to come to a realization ten years down the road and leave my wife for a man, like so many of my older lesbian friends did in reverse? How can I prevent that from happening?

Where to buy a straight razor in Montreal?

royalchinook — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 09:17:07 -0800

Where to buy a straight razor in Montreal? I'll admit that I haven't looked to hard on my own to find the answer for this but I was wondering if any Montreal-ers know of a good place to buy blades for a straight razor? They're for my wife who is a trained hair dresser and cuts a few peoples hair in our home (she vastly prefers razor with guard over scissors); her supply is getting dull. Thanks!

Who knows women like the gays??

BobbyDigital — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:47:19 -0800

How does your average awkward straight fellow go about finding a gay friend to help with the ladies? Being the observant sort I have come to notice that a good number of gay guys I know tend to hang out with large groups of incredibly good looking girls. I have also noticed that they have a much easier repor when meeting said lovelies. Now as for me I am actually incredibly charismatic once I am comfortable with people, I am the kind of guy who grows on you. Furthermore I have been told I am good looking enough that I can see it being true, even if I wouldnt admit it outside of the internets. Yet I am also incredibly socially awkward and I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to start dating again, but I need a little help.

I have friends, but they are generally spread out or, in committed relationships so not really the best candidates for the ever important wingman position. Also the closest thing I have to a gay friend in this city is my ex-GF and that doesnt fly for obvious reasons (such as if it were up to me we would still be together, but that is neither here nor there). I am an open minded guy, and I personally know 1 gay guy who would fit the bill, problematically the one who would best fit the bill is my ex's BFF and he lives in Raleigh (I am in DC).

I know there are gay bars around my house and stuff, and while I am reasonably certain therein reside gays, I don't know if its an appropriate place to go to try and find a platonic friend who will help me out with the ladies (a fairy godmother if you will).

I really hope this isnt being construed improperly, I am not trying to take advantage of anyone, nor am I stereotyping. I am just a nice guy who noticed that hot girls seem to gravitate to the gays, I am just naive about these things, but I think I have a good plan, I just need to find a gay friend to make it work.

Let's make some waves.

jesirose — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 21:24:50 -0800

I have long very straight hair, and I want it to be wavy or almost curly. Can I do this without a perm? I have seen ads for things like Wash N Curl and the commercials make it sound like you can just wash with the shampoo, dry, and your hair will suddenly be wavy till you wash it again. After reading the bottles and the website, it seems like it just means after you curl it yourself (curling iron?) it will stay better.

Is there any quick way to get my hair to look like Kate from Lost's?

If not, is a perm a really bad idea? Will it even work with my hair length? (It's a bit longer than the actress's hair.) My hair is not very thick, but it's not thin.

I can't stand styling it, so I never blow dry and I never curl, but if there is a quick way I can get it to be wavy and maybe add some gel or something to hold it, that would rock my world.

Um, coming out... again.

Anonymous — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 18:34:11 -0800

For the last 5 years (age 18-23), I've identified myself as a gay man. Came out to my friends and family and was living okay. Now, for the last year, I've basically come to realize I'm not gay. I've lost all attraction to men and I kinda fell for a woman. I haven't talked to anyone about it (including "her"), and am now realizing I need to come out (er, again). Any ideas how to handle it with my friends, family, and "her"? I'd obviously like to minimize the humiliation, anger, hurt, etc.

Long hair question

Dukebloo — Tue, 24 Aug 2004 13:33:45 -0800

Total vanity question: Alright, I don't know much about hair, but recently I've grown my hair a bit longer. To my annoyance, my hair now dings out sideways at the end, like they're trying to defy gravity, and don't go straight down. So, what can be done? I wash them everyday. Are there conditioners or other things that I should be using?

Texas Hold'em

brent — Mon, 12 Jul 2004 20:47:58 -0800

What are the odds of a straight flush beats four of a kind on the river in Texas Hold'em?