Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with spirituality

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Christ, what an asshole — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:51:59 -0800

As an atheist, what sort of activities or practices (that don't involve New Age wankery) can I get into to increase my spiritual welfare?

Is this guru for real?

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:26:02 -0800

What do you know about Nithyananda and the Life Bliss Foundation? Should I be worried that my partner is embracing this new spiritual path that is so alien to me? Similar to the recent Amma the Hugging Saint thread, I'm wondering if anyone has experience or knowledge about the spiritual leader Nithyananda, or his Life Bliss Foundation.

My partner has recently become very involved--spending thousands of dollars to go to India and spend months on his ashram, and volunteering lots of time here in Canada at the local Life Bliss centre. Many aspect of what he's learning seem very positive--letting go of worry, regular meditation and yoga practice, etc.

But aspects of it freak me out. Now that he's back from India, he's whole hog into the organization, wants to start teaching yoga and giving the proceeds to Life Bliss (though the organization apparently expects only 60% of the proceeds of you teaching their method), volunteering at events that he also pays for. And aspects of the practice bother me--the worshiping of pictures of this guru, the wearing of beads blessed by him, the belief that predictions this guru made will eventually come true...it all rubs me the wrong way.

Now, I'm probably being over sensitive because I fully admit that I am very uncomfortable with religion and spirituality, to the point of intolerance. I am very very much an atheist and none of this kind of thing appeals to me. For the most part our relationship seems to be surviving this rather large hurdle, and I've avoided posting this question until now because my partner is very okay with my doubts and my questions, and though he encourages me to meditate, he otherwise is not pressuring me in any way to embrace his new lifestyle. However I'm realizing that he will likely only become more and more fervently involved, and I'm becoming more and more intolerant in my own head...not a healthy thing to happen in a relationship, I know.

I guess my question is...are my internal alarm bells that are going "cult cult cult!" totally out of line? I've seen this critical Guruphiliac post, but it is the only piece of criticism I've found online and doesn't seem very reputable. I will admit that a nasty part of me totally wants this dude to be a fake so that I can "get my partner back"...again, not healthy thinking.

And also....is there hope for two people with such divergent spiritual beliefs? Should I just grow some tolerance and get over myself?

Dead chicken + money + cigar = ?

serazin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:55:15 -0800

What cultural or spiritual practice involves an alter or offering incorporating a dead chicken and money? Twice in the last few years, I've come across similar assemblies of objects that have intrigued me. The first was in a fairly undeveloped woodsy park in Oakland, California. It included a behead chicken - feathers still on, a half-smoked cigar, a few one dollar bills, and some coins. That was several years ago.

Then recently I was walking near my East Oakland home and found on the edge of the sidewalk, in front of a vacant lot, a box containing a dead chicken and a a handful of loose change. The chicken was somehow eviscerated, with intestine spilling loosely into the box.

I'm curious to know what religion, tradition, or culture uses this kind of alter or offering or whatnot. I'd love to hear any details you might know about it! Thanks.

Is Amma the Hugging Saint a benevolent guru or a cult leader, and if so has my friend joined a cult?

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:06:54 -0800

Has my friend joined a cult? One of my closest friends (let's call her Alice) has spent the last couple of years in India, and is now a follower of a guru called Amma (AKA. Mata Amritanandamayi, "Amma the Hugging Saint" etc). This is a fairly new thing for her, as previous to this she was something of a hedonist and wasn't really what you'd call a spiritual person. That said, she travelled to India with the intention of having a spiritual journey, so I'm sure that she found her own way to the ashram, and as she tells it she definitely had an epiphany in the presence of Amma and hence became a convert. And most importantly, she seems happy, whereas she probably wasn't before.

So no problem so far. I'm an atheist/skeptic sort of person myself, but I can see the value of faith to people so I'm not criticising her choice on that front. A couple of aspects of her beliefs make me uncomfortable, specifically the rejection of anything from her previous life that she now associates with "negativity" (which includes downbeat films, noisy music, and some types of intellectualism or criticism for want of a better way of putting it), and also as an anti-authoritarian, the idea of submitting yourself to a self-proclaimed guru seems wrong to me.

Now, up to this point I thought that that lifestyle wasn't for me, but was probably no bad thing for Alice. I have to say that at this point I've had very little contact with her recently, but such contact as I've had hasn't been worrying at all.

But I've just found out that another close friend of hers (we'll call her Betty) has apparently been researching Amma and is convinced that Alice has joined a cult, and is deeply distressed by this.

So I've done a google myself, and there do seem to accusations and counter-accusations flying about this, and I don't know what to think any more. It seems like a lot has been written on the subject, but then again some of the cult accusations are linked to via the David Icke website, which raises warning signs itself.

So, is Betty right? Is Amma a cult leader? How can I tell if Alice really has joined a cult or is just following a leftfield religion? If she has joined a cult what should I do? And if it really isn't a cult, how can I convince Betty of that?

Need Good Christian DVD for five year old.

lynnie-the-pooh — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:51:21 -0800

What is a good Bible Based DVD or movie that I can offer to my five year old daughter. I want her to get more knowledgable about the bible, but at her age, I'm not looking for a lot of blood or violence. Also, she asks me a lot why there are not girls in the stories. So maybe you know of a good movie that has Mary or Ruth in it? I want her to learn, but I need it to be age appropriate. She likes animation or live people. Thanks, Lynnie-the-pooh

Cosmic clichés - is that all they are?

forallmankind — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:07:44 -0800

Every time my (Sikh) yoga teacher talks of enlightenment this and infinite wisdom that and cosmic love the other (ie often), I have to turn a mental blind eye because I don't know what these things are and they kinda defy definition and as such I don't think I ever will know. And part of me feels alienated by this - here is this teacher and this class; the teacher claims to know of these mystical things, and the class (I'm guessing) is divided into (a) those who pretend to also know of these things, and (b) those who know they don't but wish they did. From a distance this seems absurd. Am I missing something, (perhaps something awesome)?

You "turned you life over to God"? All right...so what did you actually DO?

Piscean — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:42:28 -0800

Whenever someone says "I turned my life over to God," it seems everyone just nods and acts like they understand, so I just act like I understand, too. But I don't. I respect people's spiritual paths and am curious as to what this common phrase really means to individuals. I imagine it is an emotional thing, but... I don't get it. What ACTION(S) does the person engage in during this undertaking of turning his/her life over? I want to know on a pragmatic level what it is that the person does- not metaphors. What is the thing they actually do?

Above us, only sky...

Metroid Baby — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 13:43:34 -0800

Someone close to me recently passed away. For the most part I'm okay, but what stops me in my tracks is the idea that there may not be an afterlife. How do I come to terms with this? My dad died last month after a year-long battle with cancer. I was expecting him to stick around for a little while longer, but all of us knew that it was inevitable, and we were as prepared as anyone could be. Dad was happy, went peacefully, and even considered death to be something of an adventure.

Generally speaking, I'm doing okay. I miss him terribly, but I'm grateful to have had him be a part of my life. I'm grateful for all the people who have shared memories of Dad and let us know how much they appreciated him. I'm a little more teary-eyed these days, but on the whole I'm functional and my grief seems to be pretty manageable.

There's just one thing.

A few days after the funeral, I was home alone and realized: What if there's no afterlife? It hit me like a ton of bricks, and it still keeps me up at night sometimes. I had been okay with the idea of my father being deceased, but the idea of my father being completely nonexistent terrifies me. Until recently, it didn't occur to me that those two things might be one and the same.

I consider myself agnostic; reason leads me to believe that there is no higher power, but I'm not always a person of reason. Dad was a pretty spiritual guy, particularly in the last year, and although he didn’t talk about heaven, and admitted he didn't know what happens to us after we die, he did believe that something of us stuck around, continued on, after the end of physical life.

I always figured that if there was an "other side," and if it were possible for the dead to reach back and contact us from that other side, that Dad would certainly do it. I desperately wanted him to be right. As silly as it might sound, on some level I was expecting some sort of Obi-Wan Kenobi apparition, for Dad to appear and tell me that the Force was with me all along.

But with each passing day I'm less and less sure that's possible.

I've wrestled with the thought of death being the end before, but always in the context of my own mortality. These days, I'm not particularly concerned with what will happen to me, just the idea that Dad is totally and completely gone forever. I've looked at previous AskMes about grief, the afterlife, and mortality, but I haven't found anything that really addresses this particular issue.

I can't be the only person to wrestle with this – I'm guessing this issue is what first led people to believe in an afterlife. But I'm not sure how to wrap my head around it. I'm wondering if anyone might have any advice, or can point me toward something to read that might help me sort out my thoughts, or if this is just something that I'll figure out with time.

I appreciate your help and apologize if this question meanders a bit or sounds ridiculous. Thanks as always.

Buddhists and the difficulty of choosing your life

ttyn — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:25:06 -0800

Buddhism question about what happens before we are born and the lives we choose for ourselves. I read about a week ago, in an article online, that Buddhists believe we get to see our lives before we are born and we get to say "yes" or "no" as to whether we would like to choose that life. If we say "no" we get to see a different one. And so on. Until we finally pick one, say "yes", and then we are born.

I think I read it on a blog by a guy who was writing about jobs and failure and how even though he experienced failure it was the life he had chosen for himself for a reason.

Can anyone point me in the direction of that article? I thought I bookmarked it but I guess I haven't.

Can anyone point me to any other source that discusses this specific Buddhist belief? Google has failed me since I don't know what the specific term for it would be.

Thanks!

Can you recommend some Good Books for my dad?

Metroid Baby — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:02:56 -0800

My dad recently read The Shack and really liked it. Can you recommend other books with a spiritual leaning (not necessarily Christian) that he might also like? A bit of background: Metroid Dad lost both his father and his younger brother earlier in the year, and for the past several months he's been fighting an uphill battle with cancer. We're not sure how much time he's got left, but he's been in remarkably good spirits.

As might be expected in this situation, Dad's been waxing a bit ontological lately. Give him a free ear and he'll talk to you about his thoughts on God and the afterlife, on relationships and love and how we'll all meet again. He prefaces a lot of this with "I'm not sure how, but I believe…" or "Now, I don't go to church that much…" or "I know this might sound kinda flaky, but…" In other words, he's not dogmatic or judgmental, but appears to be approaching these questions with gentleness and an open mind. He was raised Protestant, but believes that all religions are really working towards the same thing and concedes that religion doesn't have to be a central part of anyone's life.

He read The Shack a month or two ago and, though he thought parts were kind of lame, on the whole it really spoke to him. Really, a whole lot. (I read it at his urging, and my reaction was more "hmm, okay.")

Given all of the above, I'd really like to find more reading material in a similar vein – stuff that might also speak to him, comfort him, or get him thinking. Fiction, nonfiction, religious texts, any or all of the above. Doesn't have to be Christian, doesn't necessarily have to have religion or God or spirituality as the main focus. I'd like stuff that’s intelligent but accessible (and readable while in the hospital and woozy), so nothing too dry or too schlocky. And I'd like to avoid proselytizing, Kool-Aid, and scary REPENT SINNERS!!!1! type stuff.

He loved the history books I got him for Christmas at your recommendations, and I'm hoping you guys will have some good ideas yet again.

(I doubt it'll be an issue, but just in case: please, no hurf durf Shack reader or hurf durf God believer here. Dad's not reading this thread, and I'm not going to engage him in any metaphysical arguments, so there's not really any point in it. He'd respect your beliefs, so please respect his.)

Thank you in advance, as always.

Mysticism/Spirituality/Religious reading material for the skeptical materialist

HighTechUnderpants — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:12:39 -0800

Can you recommend some books about spirituality/religion that a take a fairly rational/skeptical approach to the subject? I know I've been vague, so here are two books that I read and enjoyed along those lines: "Rational Mysticism" and "The Power of Myth." I've thought about reading "Zen and the Brain," but it's 900 some pages, and I'm trying to finish a degree.

How does one make a living teaching spirituality and meditation?

Stagecraft — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:01:24 -0800

How does one make a living teaching spirituality and meditation? Hello hive mind. I have a question for you.

After a recent bout of soul searching, I realized that what I really want to do in life is share my spiritual out look with the world. I would also like to earn a living at doing this. I live and work in New York City and there are a plethora of spiritual centers, but from what I can tell I have one problem. Most if not all of the teachers are well established and have at least one book under there belt. I have not written a book, nor do I want to write a book. I feel that what I have to teach is important and can do a lot of good. What I would like to know, is how a new spiritual/meditation teacher can get there foot in the door and do some good in the world (and make a living at it)…all without having to write a book.

I thank you for your insight.

How can this pilgrim acquire faith?

mr_book — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 11:24:00 -0800

Please help this petty agnostic acquire faith in a higher power. I am a 27 yr old agnostic who has attempted the practice of several different religions over the years, eventually calcifying into what my friends have called a "big, bad atheist." After realizing a few years back that atheism wasn't the way to go for me, I started saying that I was an agnostic. I'm not sure that that label fits either.

Every time I've tried experimenting with a religion, I've been fascinated by all of the rituals and mythology which went along with it, but I've never been able to really buy into it. I can't seem to believe concepts like resurrection, reincarnation, angels, the goddess, animistic spirits, et cetera.

I dislike this. I don't want to go through my life not experiencing Faith. I've talked to several people about this, looked online, read books, but what it almost always comes down to is: "If you don't have faith, you can't accept an explanation. If you do have faith, no explanation is necessary." That's all well and good, but it doesn't help me. It's the philosophical equivalent of saying: "Tough rocks, kid."

I've recently come to the conclusion that even if reincarnation, resurrection, et cetera are complete bullshit, I think my experience of the world would be better and fuller is they were not.

I've received advice like "do community service" and "visit a church more often" and "pray" but that's not helpful. I'm not looking for morality - that I can do on my own. I'm also not looking for a religion - I don't need a spiritual bureaucracy telling me how to live my life. What I'm interested in is acquiring Faith itself, not its trappings.

If there are any personal experiences out there which can help, or any advice toward the subject, I'd be grateful. I'm interested in an actual method for acquiring Faith. Literally, how do I get it?

Worry about tomorrow today, or tomorrow?

Anonymous — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 08:42:09 -0800

Relationshipfilter: I'm agnostic. She's Christian. We've been dating for four months. We fit eachother well and are very happy together, but of course clash over our deeply-held ideologies. Should we worry about the ideological clashes now, or be happy with eachother now and worry about how to raise the kids if/when we have kids? We get along great in 99.9% of our day-to-day lives. Seriously, best relationship I've ever been involved in, when it comes to everything except the religious clash. We try not to think/talk about it, but it resurfaces every few weeks to some degree or other, usually because of me worrying about what I'm asking about here.

Here's the issue: her faith is very strongly that Christianity is Truth and that non-Christians burn in hell. Mine is that Truth is beyond what any of us can understand, and that if anything, a lot of different religions are trying (through imperfect human perspectives and more-imperfect human organizations) to describe different parts of the elephant in the dark room by touch alone, if you'll forgive my mixed metaphor. I can deal with this dispute in my own life and in our relationship, I think.

The problem is the potential issue of kids, which she wants relatively soon. I'm okay with children -- in most ways we share opinions about childrearing. The catch is that I deeply respect the way my parents raised me -- by giving me information and guidance and being ready to catch me if I fell, but letting me make most of my own decisions and face those consequences. She agrees with that in most areas of childrearing, but she insists that her kids must be raised in a Christian home, and she has expressed fears to me about how her kids might be less likely to be believers if their father is a non-believer (and consequently might be more likely to go to hell).

So here's the thing: We've been dating for about four months. I realize this is a drop in the bucket -- I've been in several serious relationships, a couple of which have lasted much longer -- but the potential for long-term discord unsettles me. She thinks we should enjoy our happiness together now and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I really want to think like that but I'm afraid of waking up ten years from now with kids and feeling very upset that I'm not allowed to share this part of myself with them without upsetting my wife.

Any advice would be appreciated, particularly advice with an eye towards making this work so that both of us are, if not completely happy, at least able to live with ourselves. I know I can't change her, and I doubt I'm going to change, but I'd like to aim for happiness, somehow.

Help me learn the basics of the Black Gospel tradition

fishmasta — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:19:07 -0800

Growing up a white boy in a white Oklahoma church, we always had some small influence of the Gospel tradition, but always sanitized for the white tradition of our past. But when I listen to the old Black spirituals, it affects me like nothing in the Baptist church I grew up with: a sense of the spiritual and the passion that I never felt in my choirs. But where should I start to learn the basics?

God is a DJ (but you might be better)

AngerBoy — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:31:55 -0800

What pop songs can you think of that express a theme of one of the Ten Commandments? I'm working on a program for a bunch of high school students about the Ten Commandments. One of the techniques I'm considering using is to play them excerpts of popular songs whose titles and/or lyrics are somehow related to one of the Ten Commandments.

The songs don't need to be explicitly religious - actually, it's much better if they're not. And I'm hoping for songs from multiple musical genres: maybe a Hank Williams cheatin' song about adultery, a Snoop Dogg rap about murder, an emo weeper about lying, etc.

The lyrics can probably be R-rated if necessary, but PG-13 would be best.

(FWIW, the session is aimed at Jewish students, so we'll be using the Jewish division of the Commandments, not the Protestant or Catholic versions. You can look here for an overview of the Commandments and how they're divided in Jewish tradition: http://tinyurl.com/qhuss)

Can't wait to hear your ideas - I think this could be very cool if I get a good enough selection of music!

Smart, spiritual bloggers?

2or3whiskeysodas — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:43:15 -0800

I'm looking for thoughtful, down-to-earth blogs (and other websites) that concern themselves with matters of spirituality. I'd like to fill up my RSS reader with the experiences of folks on "the path"--doesn't much matter which one(uh, is my UU upbringing showing?)--or those who just write intelligently and clearly on spiritual matters in general. For instance, I really like just about everything I've read at Killing the Buddha. That sort of stuff.

Blogs are great, webzines and such are fine. Bonus points for sites about Buddhism. Quality non-spiritual/atheist/secular humanist* writers totally welcome, too. I'm just not interested in hearing anybody getting shouty about their beliefs or their lack thereof. Thanks in advance!

*related question I just had: do people still use that term?

Where Do We Go When We Die?

partner — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 08:57:57 -0800

What are some religions or philosophies that teach that at death (or any other time) one's discrete soul is absorbed into a greater entity such as God and so the individual is no more?

Pretending buddhism

davar — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 15:26:16 -0800

I used to be a devoted catholic. I quit the church years ago, but still miss the spirituality. Buddhism should fit me, but I feel like such a poser. I read "the Mantram Handbook" by by Eknath Easwaran. He argues that it does not really matter whether you pray the rosary (which I used to do and love) or recite "Rama, Rama, Rama" or "Om mani padme hum". It all leads to the same. For people who do not feel comfortable with a personal God, he recommends the buddhist Om mani padme hum. So, I tried that for a couple of days. I can see how it would work, but I think I am too much of a cynic, because it does not feel right. I have difficulty explaining what exactly feels wrong, so I hope someone understands what I mean. It feels like I am stealing an aspect of another culture. As if I am just pretending. It is not just the language, I did not have this feeling when I prayed Latin or Greek prayers.

Is this something that will pass once I get used to it? Or should I stick with spirituality from my own culture (I am in Europe, in a secular country where Christianity is still the most popular religion)?

Gotta have Faith-uh, Faith-uh, Faith

Hands of Manos — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 06:57:07 -0800

I've started a personal journey on ancient civilizations' view on faith. I'm in a foreign country where I don't have access to books in English (and I can't speak the language however my wife can). So I'm looking for internet resources about how ancient civilizations had and handled faith in their chosen deity.

For example, what made (or makes) a Shaman or Witch Doctor believe he/she has connection with the spirit world? How did the Native American Indians derive to place so much faith in nature? Or why did ancients place faith in Egyptian mysticism or Greek Gods?

I'm not looking for one specific sect of religion and faith, but generic faith itself and how ancient civ's came to it.

Are we just wasting our time?

randomthoughts — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:46:11 -0800

What do the various religions around the world suggest we should be doing with our time? Sometimes I feel like I am just wasting my life away and was wondering what exactly the major religions say or suggest us humans should do with our time on this planet?

Is the Buddha in It?

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 12 May 2006 06:17:57 -0800

Soka Gakkai International. Experiences, good/bad? We are seeking a better spiritual fit, more focused on personal growth and expanding our worldview than on myth, ritual, and superstition.

Attended a meeting a few weeks ago and liked what I heard. This isn't a cult or something, right?

Food for the wandering mind

koenie — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 06:54:27 -0800

In a while I will be going on a round the world trip to do a bit of soul searching (and to have a lot of fun of course). I'm looking for books on the subject of travel, not the pragmatically oriented genre, but philosophically and spiritually inclined ones. I'd like to read true stories about open-minded people backpacking around the globe and learning something about themselves and the world. I'd like to taste their joys as well as their disappointments, their insights as well as their confusion experienced during long-term world-wide travel. I'd appreciate it if you could include a one-line summary with your recommendations, for example:
The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton: lighthearted, philosophically-inclined book about the peculiarities of travel.
Be Here Now by Ram Dass: successful Harvard psychologist ends up in India after experimenting with acid.

What is this spiritual ceremony?

marsha56 — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 10:52:55 -0800

Help remember what this is. Earlier this week, someone in my religion class briefly mentioned a special type of spiritual service, maybe centered around prayer and possibly chanting. The name was something like Tai Chi. Has anyone else heard of this, experienced it, know what it is, and how to spell it? Is it something new ??

Dahn We Now Our Creepy Yoga?

abbyladybug — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 19:45:21 -0800

A new yoga center has opened up in my neighborhood called Dahn Yoga. I went in yesterday to check out the schedule and see what they had to offer. I left with a little bit of a Scientology, kind of creepy new-agey feeling. I've done yoga for years, love me some good Buddhism, etc, but if someone starts to talk to me about altering my brain and altering my chakras in more than a metaphorical way, I'm not thinking it's for me. Anyone had any experience with Dahn Yoga or "brain respiration"? Here are the links I found: * Brain Respiration * Dahn Yoga I'm hoping it's not creepy, because it's a nice space, and the location and schedule are convenient.