Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with speaking

1950s hidden camera footage?

crayz — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:16:08 -0800

Does anyone have "hidden camera" footage of people from the 1950s and before having candid conversations? When they're giving prepared/on-camera remarks in any footage I watch, people seem very very stilted - like unskilled actors. I'm wondering if this was just the style of the "public voice" at the time, or if people actually talked to each other in day to day conversations this way In addition, I'm curious whether there's been formal research into the way the perceived authenticity of a manner of speech changes over time, and whether it's arbitrary or actually a function of some underlying ideal

Difficulty of writing and speaking English?

ragtimepiano — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:25:53 -0800

Is English much more difficult than most languages to speak and to write? I have a good friend who is a high school English teacher. He is frustrated by the many errors in the papers he grades. Some common errors: "Your" for "You are"; misuse of the apostrophe, such as "apple's for sale"; improper grammar such as "Me and him went to the game".
We are wondering if students in other countries speak and write incorrectly as much as American students do? I speak a little Spanish, and I realize Spanish is an elegant, easily pronounced and spelled language, with a grammatical structure that maybe makes more sense than that of English. But French? And how about the convoluted syntax of German?
Multi-linguists of the hive mind, what do you think?

Why do I have to clear my throat so much?

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:23:02 -0800

Why do I have to clear my throat all of the time? When I'm speaking, my voice often becomes croaky to the point where I can't speak normally without sounding like Tom Waits on his deathbed. This is normally resolved by me clearing my throat rather audibly (ahem-uh-huh-hem!), after which I can speak fine again. I might have to do this five or six times in an hour long presentation. I'm not spitting out or swallowing phlegm, my voice is just unusably scratchy until I clear my throat. Occassionally, clearing my throat does nothing, and I'm left with a voice that can barely speak. This happens with my normal conversations, too, not just presentations. My occupation sometimes requires extensive public speaking (hence the anonymous), but I still have the problem of having to clear my throat even when I don't have a lot of speaking to do.

Gargling with salt water seems to improve my ability to speak, as does drinking tea and sucking on lozenges. If I sleep well, there is a slight improvement, sometimes.

Is the throat-clearing serving the function of removing phlegm? Should I see a ENT? Have you had similar problems? How did you manage the problem?

Why do people keep interrupting me?

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:58:14 -0800

People routinely interrupt me when I'm speaking in a group. Why does this happen, and how can I stop it? Apparently there's something about the way I speak that makes people think it's ok to interrupt me. I watch other people speak in small groups, and they mostly get to get to the end, period, before someone else speaks. They sometimes even pause, for effect, or to recall something, and then continue without interruption. I, on the other hand, seem to be interrupted the moment I stop to draw breath, and I think as a result, have developed this manic fast speaking style that often finds me getting ahead of my train of thought. Have you had this problem, and if so, how did you correct it? Is this a "public speaking" issue? I thought about Toastmasters, but this isn't really a podium problem, it's more a meeting problem.

Help Keep Me From Losing My Voice

Simon Barclay — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:48:26 -0800

I'm looking for advice to avoid losing my voice while speaking for a long time. Can anybody help me...? A couple of times a month, I need to give a presentation that lasts a whole day. The presentation mostly consists of me talking. Sometime after lunch, my voice starts losing its power and I find myself having to "push" harder to maintain the same volume. By the end of the day, my voice is almost gone. It takes a couple of days before I get it back.

Does anyone know of things I can do while speaking that will prevent me from losing my voice? Or, alternatively, what can I do to get it back quickly?

I don't know how frequently I can stop to drink, because I'm not usually standing behind a podium, but I can take a few gulps here and there. Last time this happened, I tried tea with honey during the evening, but that didn't seem to help.

Watch/Pen Audio Recording Device

thankyoumuchly — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:13:59 -0800

Looking for a discreet audio recording device (not one of the typical voice memo recording sticks you get at radio shack, this must be discreet). I am a public speaker at my company and I typically speak at multiple meetings per day, with no time to take notes for follow-up questions. I need a stand-alone audio recorder that is discreet (wrist watch, pen, etc.) and that can handle at least 8 hours of recording on 1 charge / 1 set of batteries. I've found multiple types of watches with recording similar to this one in the link below (mostly these watches all have the USB 1/8th inch headphone jack looking plug on the left side of the watch face by the "9" and seem to be crappy quality). Is this a piece of junk? It kind of looks like it is. I need good solid audio, that is my main buying point:

http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.26493

Does anyone have any experience with these discreet recording devices (maybe an audio recording pen)? Please help hive mind!

Bonus if it's a watch and also has a stop-watch functionality built it so I can record audio and time myself!

Thanks in advance - TYM

Help me finish this sentence. Please.

YamwotIam — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:47:14 -0800

Can you help me learn how to finish a sentence? OK, I'm a little embarrassed to be asking this question. I'm a generally assertive, confident person. I'm an effective manager in my workplace, not at all timid in my private life, and mostly at ease with where I'm headed personal-growth-wise. It's taken me a long time to get to this point. 19 post-adolescent years of overcoming self-doubt, lack of confidence, and so on.

But there's one monkey I can't seem to get off my back. In both social and professional situations, people interrupt me All The Fucking Time. And I want to know how to stop that from happening so often.

I've tried talking louder; talking faster; and starting sentences with "look," "you know what you should do," or "here's the thing." It doesn't work.

I just seem to be an interruptible person. I hate that. O uninterruptible people, what are your secrets?

Help me, uh, help me fix my, uh, my stutter.

Pseudology — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 00:20:57 -0800

I have a horrible stutter which just came to my attention about a week ago. Not only is "uh" my favorite word but I repeat myself a lot. Help me, oh hivemind, to learn how to fix this problem. Written and audio examples inside. First I will provide a written example.

"Hello, my name is... uh... my name is Pseudology"

Now I will provide an audio example. A word of caution, it only seems to work for me if I just click on the link and refuses to open in a new tab.

The event which brought the stutter to my attention was an interview I did over the radio. While I was a little nervous in the beginning, showing that the problem does get worse when I'm nervous, I was totally confident at the end where the problem was almost just as bad. I feel I made my points but the delivery was terrible. Since this is the only recorded conversation I have of myself let alone the only recorded conversation I have of myself online and ready to link so I could bask in my 15 minutes of fame through facebook, I've decided to use it as my audio example. It's seven minutes long so don't feel the need to listen to all of it (I'm Brock just so you don't get me confused with the other two people but I'm sure I could just say I'm the guy with the stutter).

After this I noticed I stuttered quite often and when asked if my stutter was is as bad as it was in the interview my friends all said yes. They also said it made me difficult to listen to at times.

I don't know anything about speech therapy because I've always seen it as something for people who get nervous when they speak publically. Being the attention whore that I am I've never had a big problem with nervousness in public speaking. As a result I know nothing about how/why I or others stutter let alone how to fix it which is why I'm asking mefi.

Learn to speak and read, but not write, Japanese?

Mwongozi — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:19:29 -0800

What's the best way to learn Japanese, if you don't care about being able to write it? My extended family includes a family who was born in Japan but now lives in the USA. I am therefore semi-regularly exposed to spoken and written Japanese, and I'd like to be able to speak it back, and hopefully, read it as well.

I am aware that this is a monumental undertaking, but I don't have deadline and I'm not doing it for school, so I figure I can take as long as I want. I'd prefer to teach myself, rather than go on a course.

What would you recommend? Books? Mac applications? iPhone apps? CDs or DVDs?

All suggestions welcome, with the proviso that I have a Mac and no Windows PCs.

Help me be a good speech-giver tomorrow. Ready -- Go!

inatizzy — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 13:06:09 -0800

Public Speaking Filter: I've been asked to speak in front of a very large group at a public rally tomorrow. I'm excited, but I've never done this before. Help! I just learned that I'll be getting up in front of about 1000 people tomorrow to speak for about 5 minutes. My subject matter is all set, but I can really use help with acquiring that "certain something" that makes great speakers so comfortable to watch. They have a sort of command of the room that just makes you want to listen, you know? I know what it feels like to be an audience member in that situation, and that's the experience I'd like to provide for my audience, but I don't know what it feels like to be the speaker! Specifically, what are they doing? What are they thinking? What sort of preparation did they do?

I'm sure that I'm going to be nervous when I get up there, so I'm going to do my best to not talk too fast and to not have a jittery voice. But I think I can do even better if I know what things I can try to do (or not do) to make my speech come across in an easy, comfortable and confident way.

For what it's worth, I'll be talking about the importance of getting involved and volunteering for a specific cause. I spent my summer volunteering for it but there's still a lot left to do, so I'll be speaking from experience and talking about the importance of their continued efforts.

(And, I understand that I can't make an overnight transformation, but this is a rare opportunity and I want to be the best I can be! I hope it'll help to quell my nerves a little, too. ;)

Thank you in advance for your advice.

Japanese conversation practice with a native speaker in the Portland, OR area (or maybe Skype)?

wastelands — Tue, 19 May 2009 17:17:28 -0800

Japanese conversation practice with a native speaker in the Portland, OR area (or maybe Skype)? I took three years of Japanese in high school, almost 11 years ago. Lately I've taken an interest in relearning it. Right now I'm still re-memorizing hiragana and katakana, so I at the beginner level for sure. But eventually it would be cool to get conversation practice with a native speaker without necessarily spending the hundred of dollars and the firm time commitments of a college course.

Ideas? I tried posting to the craigslist "activity partner" section, but nothing came of it.

ありがとうございます。

non-vocal management resources?

Anonymous — Wed, 13 May 2009 09:37:41 -0800

I will be having surgery in the near future which will either leave me with a whisper for a voice or not being able to speak. I am a manager/team leader/director and I work with a large number of with people. Anyone know of resources for non-vocal team leading/management philosophies and styles? I am looking at a life change of course and am trying to wrap my brain around what will be possible, but different and what won't be possible. The surgery is not an option, it has to happen.
I like working with people and would like to continue with it, although it will have to alter. I would like to explore options, thus the question for options.

How do I do a good presentation?

RajahKing — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:52:57 -0800

Can you help me provide a good keynote presentation with your insights and suggestions? In a couple weeks, I will be the closing speaker at a national conference. The audience of about 200 will be made up of social workers and direct service workers who support local groups of families. The goal of my presentation is to suggest how the work my organization does (arts/media stuff, with a services bent) could collaborate with their program.

I am planning to use a powerpoint as well as audio examples of my organization's work. The speaking space is a standard, tabled conference room. I have an hour and 15 minutes to use, and I plan to use the last 20 for Q&A.

Can you give me some tips on how to best engage a group of 200, at the end of a conference, for an hour and a half? I am a decent enough speaker, I get nervous like anyone does but not overly, but I also usually only provide smaller, more casual presentations, to about 20-50 folks. What makes a larger, longer presentation more exciting, engaging, rewarding for the audience?

I hope the lack of specificity regarding the organizations is okay. Thanks in advance.

I want to be smart so I can write clever Askme Headlines

Bageena — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:45:34 -0800

What are some easy, relatively quick ways to learn to write better, think clearer, and express myself better? There are a thousand reasons that I'd like to learn more about everything, not that anyone should need a reason to want that. Basically, when I'm writing on Mefi or on my blog, I keep finding myself grasping for words to express myself and coming up short. I know my grammer stinks as well. I want books, movies, and other means and mediums by which I can raise my intelligence quota a little. I'm interested in not just learning to write better, but learning to think clearer, argue my beliefs and values better, and feel more enlightened all-around. Extra points for pointing the way to free and/or 'fun' (ie: Nintendo DS games) paths to enlightenment.

Help me find my voice

Bunglegirl — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:30:41 -0800

How can I transform from a low talker into someone people can hear? I have a very quiet voice and people like to joke about me being a "low talker." The thing is, I can't speak up and my voice just doesn't project across a room. I usually prefer talking to only one person at a time because if I'm in a group I have to either wait for eye contact to speak or wait for a definite pause in the conversation to avoid being talked over. Recently I was talking to a friend at a party and she walked away because she didn't hear me. I'm used to this but it's pretty embarrassing when there's someone else there and they notice.

I used to lose my voice at bars all of the time trying to "speak up" so even the person next to me could hear. Now that there's no smoking in bars it's a little better but it's still happening at times. A group of about six of us were waiting for our table in a noisy restaurant and after a little while I started to speak and felt a sharp pain in my throat from straining so hard to talk at a normal volume. Water helps a little but after it's started I can't speak much the rest of the night.

The searches I've done for this don't seem to help my situation, the advice seems to be to speak up (so people can hear me) or talk less during the day to not strain my voice. I work from home and go for long periods without talking at all so I doubt overtalking is the problem. And, like I've said, my shouting volume seems to be normal volume for most people.

My close friends and family are pretty good about understanding me and even if they ask "what?" they usually realize they understood me before I repeat myself. The biggest problem I have is in noisy venues (bars, restaurants, concerts) or in groups larger than three people. I used to mumble a lot too but when I'm around people that I don't know I've become pretty good about annunciation and speaking clearly so now it's just the volume that's a problem.

How can I make myself heard better (projection or increasing the volume of my voice) and not strain my throat/voicebox when I do try to speak up?

Drink your school! Stay in milk!

explosion — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:51:01 -0800

How do inspirational/motivational/informational speakers get started? In a MeFi from last week someone linked this video of Alvin Law, and it got me thinking. How do speakers like Mr. Law get started on the speaking circuit?

I understand that once they're established, with a few shining references, it's easier to promote oneself, and depending on success, may even have the luxury of picking and choosing. But how does anyone get those first few gigs? It's not like bands, where they can play at a bar or venue for free and get exposure.

If you're not already wildly successful or famous ("Come See Donald Trump next week at..."), how do you get there? I'm not talking millions of dollars or hitting the talk shows, just enough traction to make it a job.

Brevity is the soul of wit, which is funny, because it reminds me of this short joke I heard a few months ago...

contessa — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 08:17:24 -0800

How can I be less long-winded? I have a tendency to go on and on, especially with written things (like emails, reports, Mefi comments...) but also in spoken communication too. If I realize what I'm doing while I am doing it, I start to self-edit and get to the point. That switch in my brain doesn't always fire. Part of it, I suppose, is that I don't want to leave anything important out. Getting there can sometimes be like telling an epic saga, I swear.

I don't want to be the boring/rude person who doesn't know when to shut up. Do you have any tricks or tips to keeping it brief?

can me talk pretty one day?

NikitaNikita — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:38:55 -0800

How can I improve the quality / listenability of my speaking voice? (for podcasts, namely, but in general works too) As mentioned earlier, I'm moving into the world of podcasting and it's a pretty new process for me. I just listened to my own voice from a podcast intro I was asked to record and, goodness! my voice is... unpretty? unpleasant? It's just got a crackly grumbly nature to it. I have been told on occasion that I sound like I'm about to cry when I talk in front of people. This recording has a similarly unpleasant nature to it.

What can I do to make my voice sound listenable and pleasant? Smoother? and richer? It's pretty deep already, I think, so this isn't just talking "lower", per se.

How do i get better at pronouncing r's and l's

Anonymous — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 22:33:58 -0800

My pronunciation of r's and l's is the same - for example, I pronounce lot and rot the same. English is my first (and only) language. When listening, i have no problems distinguishing between the two. No problems with writing either. Only with pronunciation. How do I become better at pronouncing those sounds? This problem makes me much more self conscious in conversations - I often try to use word that don't have r's or l's - i.e.: I might use 'baby sheep', instead of lamb. That isn't especially effective because I usually can't think of a synonym on the fly like that.

My parents are not native speakers, so i wasn't exposed to those sounds at a early age. This must be the cause of the problem (but knowing that doesn't help me with a solution)

How can I control THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE?

Bardolph — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:25:47 -0800

Soft talker here. Any methods/courses/books/exercises that might help me develop better voice projection? I naturally have a sedate, low-pitched speaking voice-- think "NPR announcer"-- that sounds nice over a mic, but carries poorly face-to-face. Hearing-impaired people have an especially hard time with me, for instance, and often in group conversations I get talked over because nobody notices I've started speaking. I'm a girl, if that makes a difference.

I'm quite fond of the existing sound of my voice (aren't we all?), but would like to make it more audible-- especially since I do some speaking in front of groups, and it would be nice not to need a microphone to be heard. My questions are:

(1) is it even possible to make behavioral changes that substantially alter the audibility of one's normal speaking voice, or is that mostly determined by internal anatomy? Some people seem to be naturally loud, so I wasn't sure whether this is just a function of the chest cavity/throat I was born with.

and (2) if voice projection can be improved, what methods are out there to improve it?

Caveat: I've fielded all the obvious suggestions from friends and family-- "Breathe from the diaphragm!" "Aim for the back of the room!" "Have confidence!" "Just speak as loudly as you do when you're [screaming/arguing/being tickled]!", etc. Also, I've tried a few singing lessons, but they didn't really help. Any ideas?

Opportunities for my health business?

healthyliving — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0800

How can I reach potential clients and new avenues for my health business? Would love specific suggestions for online networks, writing and speaking opportunities, and individual consultations. My business revolves around holistic health, life coaching, homeopathy, and intuitive skills. Here's what I already know about:
- Contacting local places to speak at
- LinkedIn, Facebook, Biznik, self-growth.com, Starfish Partners, AHHA, BNI
- My website and blog

Also creating an online store to sell natural lotions and bath salts, know of any place to sell besides www.etsy.com?

Anything else is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Oh, so you're a [insert profession here]! How [insert whacky generalization and misguided curiosity here]?

iamkimiam — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:02:09 -0800

What is the first question people ask when you tell them what you do? Are there common misconceptions or generalizations that people make? How do you tactfully and/or humorously correct them? For example:
"So, you're a linguist eh? How many languages do you speak?"

I'm interested in good, helpful responses to the above example, as well as parallel constructions to other fields/hobbies/interests that are commonly misunderstood. Also, factual and scientific background information about why these generalizations occur and some good face-saving techniques (for everybody) would be useful.

Thanks!

Learning new languages during my commute!

zippity — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:53:12 -0800

I'd like to learn a new language during my daily commute. What is the best language learning audio cd available? I spend an hour or two daily on my daily commute and would like to use the time to learn new languages (conversationally; I'm not too concerned with the reading/writing aspect at this point).

Most of the language programs I've come across appear to be for use on the computer, but I just want an audio cd that teaches words and sentences (ideally, teaches pronunciation, the english meaning of the word, and then a short silent duration to practice the new word/phrase aloud).

I know there are many free language podcasts available, and if there are any especially good ones I'd love to hear about them, but I'm really looking for an audio cd language program I can pop into my car cd player and listen to and practice with during my commute, instead of a bunch of mini-lesson mp3s strung together.

If it matters, the languages I'd like to learn are Korean, German and I would like to expand my English vocabulary as well. Any suggestions and recommendations are appreciated!

I am tired of being ignored

Brandon1600 — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:05:39 -0800

What books, training, or simple advice can you give me in becoming a more interesting conversationalist at work and especially in meeting new people? I have recently taken a job as a Customer Sales Rep for an insurance company (a major one) and I have found myself lacking in the conversational arts. I have always been shy and kind of geeky and I dont seem to connect well with people unlike myself. And I really hate that. I've noticed when I am in conversation with someone, the other person seems to look for someone else to talk to and immediately takes the chance to say hello and conversate with others while completely ignoring me. It doesn't happen all the time, but enough of the time. This question is bordering on "How do I be cool?" but that's not what I mean. I just want to be more interesting and I guess more energetic. I want people to want to speak with me. I want them to ask me to have lunch. I have been listening to Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People and its been helpful but its also geared more towards a business relationship. I've also heard of Toastmasters but again its seems to be geared more towards business. I am really trying not to get involved with gossip, which I do not consider to be a true form of communication. Its just mean. If any of you have any experience with improving your social status through speaking, I am all ears.

Me No Speaky Good, Help Me MetaFilter!

willie11 — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 09:46:16 -0800

[ConversationFilter] Me no speaky so good no more. Please help! I've become what I can't stand... a boring conversationalist. Don't get me wrong, I have things to say. I just can't seem to say them in an engaging way. I have trouble structuring stories, anecdotes, or even simple statements of more than a few sentences in a way that keeps anyone's attention. I feel like I just end up either talking in circles, repeating the same points over and over, or going off on uninmportant tangents. The result is always that same "get to it" look on people's faces.

Things haven't always been this way. I've been hunkered down for the last few years spending most of my days and nights with my girlfriend, cat, and laptop, so it's obvious that lack of social interaction is behind this. But when I go out to be social, I'm at a loss for conversation.

Anyone have any ideas or resources? Been through something like this before? Should I just give up and adopt more cats?