Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with sourgrapes

I bet you think this song is about you.

suki — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:16:40 -0800

What songs were (supposedly) written to get back at an ex? I'm not looking for songs about revenge, but rather songs that were written about an ex-lover/spouse/friend in a not very flattering way, e.g. "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon, and "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette.

Thank you hive mind!

I spent EIGHT months for you! And for WHAT?!

divabat — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 05:00:05 -0800

I feel like I'm going through a breakup - only it isn't with a person, it's with an intangible thing. I know intellectually that I'll get better, but it's just been the first few days and I'm hurting so much. How do I heal? Something I've been working on for about 8 months straight has ended for me (not in my favour) and I'm feeling very odd, strange, sick.

I'm going through all the stages of grief, and then some - angry because I spent all that time on essentially nothing, sadness that I didn't get what I hoped for, thankful that I don't have to deal with some people that don't respect me, disappointed that I don't get to deal with the people I quite adored, upset that the disrespectful people were chosen over me, sour grapes that "well if that's how they'll be then I'm glad I'm not going!!", lost because I don't know what to do next, etc etc. All those emotions are piling in the pit of my stomach and they are making me really really nauseous - though I can't throw up.

This isn't the biggest disappointment I've ever had to face. I've faced things of this level before. It takes time and I don't quite notice when I recover, but it happens eventually. There has been a lot that I've learnt through this process, so it's not a complete waste. I know that I'll eventually get better, move on, find something else. I know all that intellectually.

Yet I still can't get rid of all those emotions making me ill. I've got about a few days to go before I head back for Australia, and I'm in the middle of nowhere (parents' house), so there isn't much to distract me. I have a website to make and a few books to read, but I can't even concentrate - I just feel sleepy or ill. My parents are trying to help...but it's not quite working at the moment.

As soon as I arrive in Australia, I have a week-long summit, followed by my last uni semester. It's all work experience stuff so there aren't any regular classes, but even until now I don't quite know how my schedule is like (you have to apply for projects; I'm still waiting to hear which ones I've got. I also arranged them in the expectation that this project would work out and now I have to probably rearrange stuff). I won't be near my comforting boyfriend, or my other usual distractions/stuff that helps, till about the 11th. That's a while away. I'm looking forward to the summit, but I'm worried that I won't be able to concentrate or give my best.

This thing I've been working on was meant to be my next step after uni, and now I have nothing. (Some of my other plans have collapsed too due to factors outside my control.) While I know I still have a few months before I have to think about it, and I don't have to rush into anything, I can't help but feel totally empty and lost. I was counting on this to be freedom, but now I feel just as trapped - doesn't help that my mum's pushing me to get permanent residency when (a) the rules change so quickly (b) the likelihood is rare.

I'm trying to look for other options, but at this point I don't know what I even WANT to do. This massive fall is making me wary of bringing my hopes up. I gave up on a lot of opportunities so that I could focus on this one thing - I felt that if I didn't give it enough attention I wouldn't do so well. Didn't work anyway. So now I don't know what to do.

Is it strange to feel like you're going through a breakup, when you haven't even broken up with ANYONE? I've heard the reasons for what happened and they actually paint me in a good light - but that doesn't make me any less sad. The last time I was disappointed it took me about a month to recover, so maybe I'm just being impatient, but I hate having only my anguish to wallow in. These manic emotions and sickness is driving me mad.

What can I do? What could I do at least for the next few days before I head back to Australia (or even when I'm there, because I'm sure I'm not going to recover THAT quickly even with a summit, work experience, and boyfriend to distract me). How do I get myself past this disappointment and be brave enough to look out & explore other opportunities? Will eating a pint of ice cream help?

(I have gone through a breakup, but it wasn't long and we were back together, and the time in between was mostly spent trying to fix our issues.)

What do I do? How do I cope? This sucks.

Cherry Grapes?

philosophistry — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:34:53 -0800

What is the fable, aphorism, or metaphor that is the complement of "sour grapes" I want a word, fable, aphorism, metaphor, wise-saying or something to capture an over-excited yearning for something sought but not acquired.

Let's say you missed an opportunity to make out with a beautiful girl you were talking to last night, and your friends ask you about it the next day. If you respond with, "Eh, she was probably dumb or had a bad personality," your friends could tease you by saying you just have "sour grapes."

But let's say that you missed that opportunity and you say to your friends, "Dude, she could've been the love of my life! She was perfect!" They could respond with ____?????_______

The above example didn't actually happen to me, but I frequently have regrets that I should just self-soothe with some handy quip.

"Grass is always greener" captures some of the essence of it, but that has more to do with envy. So does "rose-colored glasses," but that has more to do with optimism.

Anit-love-song mixtape

ChasFile — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 12:28:20 -0800

Love-sucks-anti-Valentine's-Day-Filter: Help me make a mix of anti-love songs. Visualize a mix you might give your ex after a really, really nasty break-up. Something that says "F0ck you, I hate you, and every second we were together was torture, you evil witch," with every song. Maybe starting with OMD's "If You Leave," and getting nastier from there. Alternatively, I also like the sentiment expressed in "If You Leave," so suggestions for a mix that says "If you think you broke my heart, don't kid yourself, I never really cared about you anyway," would be appreciated, as well.

Bonus points on both counts for songs set to a sentimental or poppy melody, again along the lines of "If You Leave." The idea here being that it should be a mixtape that, were it not for the lyrics and sentiment behind it, the girlfriend might otherwise really like and listen to. Just to give the knife that extra little twist. Hence Eminem's "Bonnie and Clyde" doesn't really work. You get the idea, right?