I enjoy spending time in temporarily deserted places that usually bustle during daylight hours. Examples include San Francisco during Burning Man weekend, Penn Station at 2pm on Christmas day, almost everywhere in the US on Easter Sunday, the Financial District in Boston on Saturdays and Sundays, many major European cities during August. Where should I go, and when?
I have a couple of good habits I'm working on instilling in myself (exercising and working on my art), but I never seem to have the time or energy when my SO is in town. What strategies do you use to carve out time for yourself? [more inside]
My partner and I aren't naturally social people, but we're worried about the negative health and wellbeing outcomes associated with objective social isolation (particularly as described in this NHS story). If you're a person who prefers a solitary lifestyle, and you've deliberately increased your level of social contact for similar reasons, how did you go about this, and did it work out for you? [more inside]
I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem. [more inside]
Solitude, isolation, introversion...how to be happy with related life choices and what to watch out for. Advice? [more inside]
For the past two and a half years, I've been in a relationship with a Very Nice Man. We are both in our early 40s, and when we met we had both recently left much longer relationships, although neither of us came straight into this. We own our own houses, and neither of us has kids, although we do have pets. So we're fairly stable, with few obvious complications. The Little Big Words were said long ago and are repeated sometimes, and he describes the relationship as serious. There are no significant problems in the relationship, and things are always good when we're together. So what could possibly be wrong? [more inside]
I'm looking for bars/cafes in Hong Kong with a quiet, cozy vibe where I could feel comfortable taking a book and spending a few hours in a relaxing environment. Central/Sheung Wan would be ideal, but I'm open to suggestions anywhere.
Is there a time to be alone/ How to feel like life is meaningful when I am mostly alone? [more inside]
People who need a lot of home all alone time – how did you get used to (if you did) living with a spouse or partner? What was the adjustment period like? Also, can you get enough the alone time you need if the other person is in the same house, but not in the same room? What advice would you give to each person in this type of relationship? Anecdotes welcomed on cohabiting with a person who needs lees or more alone time than you.
Do we really "need" romantic love in our lives? Is there a magical point of self-love where one just attracts love from others? [more inside]
After many years of living a very social life in a very big city I find myself living alone in a very remote part of the world. Seeking advice and insight into a life of solitude. [more inside]
I keep thinking about solitude. I find myself drawn to the idea of a hermetic retreat lasting a week or more. I think I would like to be off the grid and perhaps even verbally silent for that time. I find myself imagining a facility in the woods of British Columbia that provides for the simplest of material needs and enables real solitude and introspection. I have found several such retreats on the web but it seems they primarily religion-based and I am thinking I might be uncomfortable in such a situation as I am an atheist. Have you had such an experience? Can you recommend any facilities that might enable such time? I would love to hear any insights you might have on the topic.
Psychological/Romantic Filter: I don't know what else to do anymore. More inside. Not asking for advice on taking rejection. [more inside]
I'm at the edge. How do I pull back? Do I pull back? Snowflake details follow. [more inside]
Do you really have to be a very highly confident, self-sufficient, charismatic, successful person before you can have a healthy relationship? [more inside]
Can I be alone forever and be happy? [more inside]
One week off - please help me find a place to spend it near Vancouver, Canada. [more inside]
I'm hurting after a breakup, and am lucky enough to be leaving tomorrow for just over two weeks on Salt Spring Island. For about half that time, I will be alone and mostly isolated. How can I best use this period of solitude to reflect, refresh and heal myself? [more inside]
23-year-old shut-in with no work experience: how can I move to a place with jobs and gain employment? [more inside]
I'm being romanced by a wonderful man. Problem is, he's a super-social extrovert, and I am your classic introvert who needs lots of alone time. Communication is good about this, but I am worried that I am somehow "holding him back". [more inside]
Everyone has their if-I-win-the-lottery/if-my-company-gets-bought dreams. Mine involves settling down in a small house somewhere to a comfortable life of solitude with all the modern conveniences. But my daydreaming brain has an unfortunate practical streak, insisting on knowing exactly where I could do that, and would it be safe, how could I get food, yadda yadda. [more inside]
I want to spend Jan-Apr of the 2010 season snowboarding in the Salt Lake City resorts. Can you guys help me figure out where to live in SLC (three months at a resort is just too much $$, and plus I'd like to be able to get away from the mountain on the days I don't ride) , and the best way to go about securing a place? [more inside]
Is it possible to write a story with no hint whatsoever of any other being but one? [more inside]
We're desperate to escape Toronto for a week, but we don't want to go to a big resort. In fact, we're basically looking for somewhere like the island on "Lost," without The Others. [more inside]
Fellow introverts, and others who need lots of alone time: How did you deal with becoming a parent? [more inside]
How to deal with near-constant solitude? [more inside]
How do I learn to enjoy being alone after a recent separation? [more inside]
I need to know how to enjoy my own company. That is, I need to know how to enjoy my own company enough so that I don't have pangs of envy whenever I see long-term acquaintances having a great time with each other and with Facebook photos to show for it. [more inside]
What jobs out there involve complete isolation? [more inside]
I am looking for some fiction where the main character is a loner and seems to be OK with it. (possible spoilers) [more inside]
Am I normal? Our company recently closed its New York office and asked some of us to stay on and work from home. At first it was heavenly, but now, nearing the end of month two, I think I'm starting to go a bit balmy from lack of stimulation and human contact. Is it me? Or is this somewhat normal?
Solitude on the Atlantic Coast or Gulf of Mexico? I am looking to get away for about 4 days sometime this month for some R&R by myself. I would prefer to be by the water, away from crowds, maybe in a hammock or sitting by a pool. I will spend most of my time reading, writing, napping, and maybe walking. I wouldn't mind some healthy food. A massage would be a bonus. It could be at a hidden away resort, a cabin, or a spa. Price isn't really an issue. I would prefer to be within a few hours drive to a major airport. I am just looking for somewhere to chill out and find some much needed solitude. Where should I go?
Which books (or movies) have a similar survivalism theme as 'I am Legend' by Richard Matheson? The specific theme I'm looking for: one person, fighting to hold on to their sanity without the support of any other people. Not necessarily postapocalyptic, just a person struggling to maintain their humanity despite limited/no other human contact.
I'm thinking about spending some time at a monastery. [more inside]
If you wanted to be completely alone, by which I mean away from people, for say, a year, where would you go? The pacific comes to mind... [more inside]