Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with solicitors

My front door needs a "Mark as Junk" button

bjrubble — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:41:47 -0800

How can I keep solicitors from knocking on my door without feeling like a jerk? I've had it with solicitors coming to my house. It's always some scruffy kid who's clearly been dropped off in the area to knock on doors -- last time, I wound up lending him my phone so he could call his ride -- and I'm pretty sure it's being run as a for-profit business. Most of the time, when I tell them I'm not going to buy anything they just ask for money directly.

Many of my neighbors have "No Solicitors" signs, but I think they look cheap (tacky plastic or stickers) and hostile (white on red, block letters, visible from 40 yards). But I'm tired of repeating my mantra, and tired of having my sympathy for these kids warring with my disgust at the people who are sending them out as professional beggars.

What I'd ideally like to find is something that doesn't make the front of my house look like ass (I was thinking an engraved brass doorbell frame) that says something to the effect of "Neighbors and friends are welcome. I'm happy to help you look for your lost dog, or if you need directions, or even if you're selling Girl Scout cookies. But if somebody is paying you to knock on my door, please go away." But hopefully in less space.

How can I amuse myself at the expense of telemarketers?

tastybrains — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 10:52:34 -0800

How can I get revenge on telemarketers, legally & safely? I do what I can to keep my phone # out of telemarketers' clutches (I'm not the Do Not Call registry, I instruct companies I work with not to sell/distribute my info, I tell every telemarketer to take me off their list and to not distribute my info), but lately I have been getting calls at my office number and my cell phone number.

I'm tired of being nice & polite to these scumbags. Instead, I want to have some fun! So I am looking for ideas on how to annoy telemarketers who call me, but in a way that will not get me in any sort of trouble.

Ideas I have had are to:

Pretend I'm happy to hear from them & attempt to convert them to a fake religious sect. (Or Scientology?)
Ask them a lot of questions about their product, then start repeating the same questions and letting the questions get dumber and dumber until I just say "oh, well, no thanks!" and hang up.
Ask them lots of questions and then tell them I'll have to ask my mom because I'm only 15.

I'd love some even better, easy to execute things I can do to amuse myself at the telemarketers' expense but that won't come back to bite me in the ass. Thanks!