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pressures to be attractive - men vs. women

My husband believes that men are just as pressured to be attractive with the same consequences socially if they aren't attractive. I think the pressures on women are MUCH higher (and much more unattainable), and that the social fallout is much larger if a woman isn't attractive and following the social norms of attractiveness. Who is right? And if I am right, help me explain this to my husband. [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Jul 30, 2014 - 64 answers

Pairing fiction with eras in common

So two books I really love are Heaven to Betsy and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I love how they go into the details of the period they take place, particularly the fashion and food. It was also only recently I realised that they take place roughly around the same era. It really surprised me because they are so completely different to one another. Francie has an alcoholic father and the family can barely get food on the table; Betsy's biggest ordeal is falling in love with a boy that doesn't like her back and not studying for an essay contest. So my question is two-fold and is aimed at requesting book suggestions. [more inside]
posted by like_neon on Jul 25, 2014 - 23 answers

State of Being Other

How to reconcile the differences between your origin and daily society? [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Jun 27, 2014 - 12 answers

Best studies of the atomic age from an international perspective?

I've read Paul Boyer's By the Bomb's Early Light (1985) and Margot Henriksen's Dr. Strangelove's America (1997), and both focus on American society and its reactions to the bomb. Now I'm looking for books and other material that give an overview of other countries in the atomic age. Can you recommend any? [more inside]
posted by Quilford on Jun 20, 2014 - 4 answers

Not that kind of gentlemen's club

I'm in NYC and am interested in traditional gentlemen's clubs, like the University Club and The Knickerbocker. Is there an accessible version of this kind of club? Something with a library and bar and maybe food? I'm middle class and don't have an especially high-flying job and don't have any amazing social connections in the city, so it would have to be a straight-forward application process. Does anything like this exist or would it defeat the point of these clubs if it did exist?
posted by lbotkins on Jun 8, 2014 - 10 answers

The rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air

What are some subtle or lesser-known examples of current-day real-world USA being a dystopia? [more inside]
posted by divabat on May 5, 2014 - 52 answers

BookFilter: Apocalypse novels for children

Back in 1987 or so, I read a children's/YA book that begins with a young girl who survives an end-of-the-world event (nuclear? meteor?) alone with her father and brother in a huge nuclear bunker. The second half of the book is about a girl with the same name who is a descendant of the survivors. Can you help me figure out what this book was? [more inside]
posted by mochapickle on Apr 14, 2014 - 7 answers

Tell me about these "local communities"

So, frequently I will read people (eg on this very website) talking about local communities, how great they are, and the various things which are apparently destroying them. I tend to be "what are these things? Why do people like them so much? I don't get it.". So, where can I read about these things? [more inside]
posted by curious_yellow on Apr 7, 2014 - 14 answers

A senior manager keeps tabs on everything and tattles on me

How do I keep my job if a manager hates me? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Mar 22, 2014 - 21 answers

Demokratie Jetzt!

I'm a US transplant to Germany. I listen to a lot of lefty podcasts from the US: Democracy Now!, The Young Turks, Majority Report, Best of the Left, Citizen Radio, etc. My German is getting pretty good after two years, and I'd like to listen to similar issues discussed auf Deutsch. Suggestions? Vielen Dank!
posted by dmvs on Mar 6, 2014 - 1 answer

I want to be accurately informed. How?

I recently came upon the work of Noam Chomsky and it opened up a whole new world of information and ways of seeing the world. How can I become more informed about our world's recent history and be accurate about it? [more inside]
posted by drd on Jan 3, 2014 - 28 answers

What are some good blogs for learning about other cultures?

I'm interested in resources (particularly blogs) that will help me learn about the interesting aspects of other cultures. I would like to be exposed to ideas that will challenge my assumptions about what is "normal" and about how society should work
posted by casebash on Jan 2, 2014 - 12 answers

What did I read and where?

I am trying to find an article I read online, sometime in the past month or two. [more inside]
posted by Cosine on Dec 17, 2013 - 4 answers

Examples of transactional relationships in pre-industrial cultures

Anthropologists, please help-- I'm looking for unique examples of interpersonal relationships or family/friendship customs that are blatantly transactional, specifically in so-called "primitive" tribes or far-flung cultures that exist/have existed within the past century. The more surprising, extreme, or out-there the anecdote, the better. [more inside]
posted by np312 on Nov 29, 2013 - 10 answers

Toy Universe

What are some good simulation/strategy computer games that don't emphasize violence or warfare? [more inside]
posted by byanyothername on Nov 13, 2013 - 17 answers

Who was that guy?

I know Walter Benjamin treasured a drawing by Paul Klee, Angelus Novus (angel of history).. So much so that he wrote about it in his essay "Theses on the Philosophy of History". [more inside]
posted by Mister Bijou on Sep 27, 2013 - 2 answers

Fiction or Non-Fiction Books and Films about Societies Falling apart?

I am looking for fiction or non-fiction books (or movies - documentaries or fiction) about societies that are collapsing or falling apart -- anything from the late Roman Empire to 1990s Yugoslavia. I'm especially interested in books or movies that focus on the lives of regular people while the collapse is happening. I am specifically NOT looking for sci-fi dystopias or fantasy novels, so please don't recommend any.
posted by empath on Sep 9, 2013 - 23 answers

The AZ Humane Society killed my friend's dog... basically.

My friend and her roommate found a wounded stray dog, turned him over to the humane society in hopes that his family would find him, and discovered that he had been send to the pound a day later and then euthanized last night while all week she was desperately trying to find his family AND get someone at the HS to tell her where he was. If she had not been lied to, she would have adopted the dog before he was killed. My friend is a highly involved volunteer worker in our community and she wants to take this public and do something to improve the situation... help us figure out what we can do! [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Aug 17, 2013 - 20 answers

Use of The City as a metaphor for the Internet/Web

I am looking for examinations of the Internet and World Wide Web that use the structure and/or history of the city as a metaphor. [more inside]
posted by 0bvious on Apr 12, 2013 - 9 answers

Vegetarians- Apparently not the most creative bunch?

I'm an officer in the Vegetarian Society at my school. We want to get hoodies made, but for some reason, not a single one of us has been able to come up with anything beyond "Meat is Murder" (which would be tongue-in-cheek to us, but no one else would see it that way and we'd rather not look like really smug, insufferable twits) and "Give Peas a Chance," which I think is horrendous. So, basically, does anyone have any suggestions for what to put on such a society's shirts?
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on Apr 1, 2013 - 54 answers

Wishing I was blind to attractiveness, semi-sarcastically

How do you deal with the damaging ways that society evaluates women? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on Mar 19, 2013 - 25 answers

Emotional Intelligence

What are some books, personal essays, articles, and videos that explore emotional intelligence and resilience as skills that can be developed in neurotypical people?
posted by jsturgill on Mar 5, 2013 - 4 answers

Social anxiety FTW

I would like to hear about experiences of overcoming social anxiety from people who have a) successfully done so or b) embraced and made a happy life despite it. [more inside]
posted by kettleoffish on Jan 10, 2013 - 12 answers

Friend keeps calling other women whores and I find this offensive

Friend keeps calling other women whores and I find this offensive, but she thinks I'm "censoring" her [more inside]
posted by sedulous on Dec 19, 2012 - 31 answers

Norms in South Korean culture

Korean culture filter: Are you familiar with Korean culture from 30 years ago? Can you tell me if these experiences were normal in terms of the social culture at that time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2012 - 8 answers

Feeling ambivalent about everything

I feel very ambivalent, like I lack perspective (but hope is abundant!), but I am not sure; this state of not knowing and being unsure of myself and what I do is tough [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Nov 15, 2012 - 4 answers

How do you handle feeling threatened by a disabled person?

I have this nagging feeling of guilt from a situation that happened about a month ago. I'm not really sure what I should have done in this situation, and I'm conflicted by my feelings. It wasn't the end of the world, but it really frightened me and I'm wondering how I could have better handled it. [more inside]
posted by anoirmarie on Nov 6, 2012 - 26 answers

Secret Society - Late 19th Century to Present Day

What is "The Organization" [more inside]
posted by mousepad on Oct 23, 2012 - 8 answers

Metaphor of Jamiroquai song

Deeper Underground: What's this song about? [more inside]
posted by Why did I buy a tin gorilla? on Oct 2, 2012 - 9 answers

Do egalitarian heterosexual marriages exist?

Do egalitarian heterosexual marriages exist as a cultural phenomenon? [more inside]
posted by Mai2k3 on Sep 26, 2012 - 57 answers

How do I tell my parents that I'm not having sex?

I have no idea how to talk to normal people about my not-normal relationship, particularly when it comes to parents. At what point does it become strange? [more inside]
posted by platypus of the universe on Sep 14, 2012 - 34 answers

Help me find a recent article/blog about people behaving like corporations?

I read (and failed to bookmark) an article or blog post a week or two ago that drew parallels between the idea of "corporate personhood" and the "quantify everything, optimize your own happiness" ethos shared by many young people today. Basically the gist of it was that many people were emulating corporate "persons" rather than real people as role models. Can you help me find it?
posted by idontlikewords on Aug 24, 2012 - 5 answers

Third world woman needs consciousness raised

Enlighten me on current state of the art thinking, discourse and vocabulary around gender politics please. Terminally unique details inside. [more inside]
posted by infini on Aug 22, 2012 - 31 answers

How do I get better at managing multiple social cues?

How do I get better at managing multiple social cues? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 19, 2012 - 8 answers

Jocks, Nerds and Rebels (tm)

To what extent do American Highschools resemble the stereotypical American Highschool seen in just about every movie and TV show ever, withever present competition for social status, rigidly defined cliques, omnipresent bullying, etc... etc?
posted by Artw on Jul 18, 2012 - 86 answers

Slow down I just wanna get to know you

What could slow down the pace of change (religious/scientific/economic/cultural) in a civilization? (Please see specific details inside.) [more inside]
posted by Wretch729 on Jul 11, 2012 - 23 answers

Times change, I need a new phrase for a difficult situation

I need a replacement for the colloquialism "tar baby". [more inside]
posted by unixrat on Jun 25, 2012 - 31 answers

empirical studies on contemporary racism & discrimination

I'm interested in resources relating studies on discrimination in the United States today. I'm thinking of something along the lines of this Tim Wise post linking to a bunch of studies, but something a little more comprehensive, recent, without links through Facebook, if possible. Am particularly interested in data along the lines Wise mentions, about contemporary discrimination against African Americans in housing, employment, etc. Does this exist? Thanks!
posted by ibmcginty on May 2, 2012 - 1 answer

Children's Literature: The Dark Side?

When children's books first became inexpensive enough for average parents to buy, were they looked down upon as a technology which limits a child's imagination? [more inside]
posted by fairmettle on Apr 7, 2012 - 6 answers

Culture and groupthink.

Is there a cultural dynamic to groupthink? [more inside]
posted by espada0 on Mar 25, 2012 - 7 answers

How do I get people to really EXPERIENCE DnD?

How do I get people to really EXPERIENCE DnD? [more inside]
posted by justalisteningman on Mar 10, 2012 - 20 answers

Being inside your home or outside "in the world" - is it normal to make this split in life?

Being inside your home or outside "in the world" - is it normal to make this split in life? [more inside]
posted by Lotsofcoffee on Jan 29, 2012 - 17 answers

It is what it is

When people say, "It is what it is", what do they mean? What does that mean? [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind on Jan 16, 2012 - 58 answers

scary gaijin?

In watching Azumanga Daioh (anime) and in comments here and around the web, there seems to be a trope or expectation or whatever you would call it that Japanese people are actually afraid of foreigners. Is that accurate? If so, why is that?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies on Jan 14, 2012 - 13 answers

Not libertarianism, not socialism, something completely different

Where would I go to collaborate on re-architecting government? [more inside]
posted by TheOtherSide on Nov 27, 2011 - 6 answers

Impact on Norway after 2011 summer

Help me understand my Norwegian colleague's tears (during a conversation where topic led to the events of the summer in Norway and the subsequent impact on society). [more inside]
posted by infini on Nov 9, 2011 - 10 answers

Male-dominated workplaces that work for women - the good, the better and the best

I'm wondering about what measures can be taken to increase gender diversity in male-dominated workplaces. For women who work in male-dominated fields - how did your company's culture contribute to creating an appealing work environment for you? What can be done to build and foster this kind of culture? [more inside]
posted by remixnine on Sep 11, 2011 - 25 answers

Obscure Honors Society: Worthwhile Investment or Complete Scam?

Have you ever heard of Sigma Alpha Pi? Not a frat or sorority, but a "society of leadership and success" is what they call themselves. I was asked to join my university's chapter. Is it worth it? [more inside]
posted by emilyclaire on Aug 20, 2011 - 14 answers

Find a published citation source for Chesterton's famous "I am" what's wrong with the world.

Q: What's wrong with the world? A: I am. - G. K. Chesterton... really? Verified citation please? [more inside]
posted by KMH on Aug 17, 2011 - 16 answers

What unbiased book should I read on multiculturalism, immigration and Islam in Europe?

What politically neutral book(s) should I read on multiculturalism and Islam, immigration/integration politics and/or ethnic/religious tensions in Europe? [more inside]
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane on Jul 25, 2011 - 11 answers

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