74 posts tagged with socialskills.
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Wait, Is That Really What You Think of Me?!

How can I become more aware of the impression I'm leaving on people? How can I make sure I leave a better impression on people in my life? details and examples inside. [more inside]
posted by carlypennylane on Feb 9, 2016 - 18 answers

Is it a social faux paus if your bra straps fall down and are visible?

Please tell me if I have a legitimate concern or I'm just being silly. I always have an issue with my bra straps falling down in public. Today I had no problems all day and then they fell down when a male friend was over. Will he think this was me making a pass at him? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Dec 6, 2015 - 45 answers

What is an empathy? Where do I get one?

I asked this AskMe about finding help with my social difficulties. A common theme in the answers was, "social mechanics can't be understood logically; you must understand them through the lens of empathy and emotion". So...how does one do that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2015 - 35 answers

How can I learn to be interested in people?

I'm a strongly expressed introvert with hardly any natural interest in other people. But I have to live and work with others. Can I learn to be interested in other people? How? [more inside]
posted by EatMyHat on Oct 12, 2015 - 16 answers

How do I talk to authority figures?

I have difficulty interacting comfortably with people I see as authority figures, like professors and senior figures in the legal profession. (My job requires me to do both pretty often - I'm a junior academic and my research involves talking to judges and lawyers). I sometimes get the sense I make them feel uncomfortable by being awkward/ overly deferential / stammering etc and, more often, even when an interaction seems to have gone smoothly, I'm deeply uncomfortable and anxious myself. What do I do to get over this? [more inside]
posted by Aravis76 on Apr 2, 2015 - 12 answers

Bad at parties

Looking for recommendations to be more sociable with a focus on networking and career advancement. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Mar 14, 2015 - 20 answers

The other shore looks nice, but the bridge makes my skin crawl

People on AskMe often ask how to develop their social skills. I have an even more remedial question: why I should bother to develop my social skills? (Or: how can I do so without resenting every moment of it?) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 77 answers

No reservations

How can I act like a less reserved person? I understand that it's not a flaw to be reserved, but I think it's getting in the way of my creating deeper interpersonal relations. [more inside]
posted by rebooter on Jan 26, 2015 - 11 answers

Diarrhea of the mouth.

I just can't seem to stop talking. Help me stop. [more inside]
posted by kmr on Dec 10, 2014 - 19 answers

tired of engineering, want to learn MBA-level social skills. how?

So, I've been doing mechanical engineering for ~6 years now and it's becoming apparent that I could do a lot better (for myself, for others) with truly top-notch social/leadership/networking skills. What's a good way to gain these skills? [more inside]
posted by sninctown on Sep 3, 2014 - 12 answers

I don't have friends.

I'm interested in improving my social or networking skills for a better perspective on life. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Jul 28, 2014 - 8 answers

Can one learn to enjoy and thrive in social interactions?

Is there any way to learn how to communicate like a normal human being? [more inside]
posted by the ghost of so and so on Jul 22, 2014 - 7 answers

How can I learn to communicate better and be less awkward

I am currently 21 years old. I feel like I have been awkward my entire life and I don't know how to fix it. I am willing to go through the painful process of learning though. What can I do? Am I just a weird person? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Jun 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Website/App that will remind me to stay in touch with people IRL!

My therapist has suggested I spend time with people -- not online, but In Real Life -- in order to help me me deal with issues I have with avoiding difficult situations and confrontation. I thought I would make a list of people I want to spend time with and then periodically 'ask them out' just to spend time and chat about things. Perhaps a lunch or something similar. These could be friends, family, business relationships or just people I respect and would like to spend time with. CONTACTUALLY already does this quite well but is a bit feature-heavy and is geared towards business contacts. I am looking for something a bit more lightweight and geared toward individuals and personal relationships. I think just the following features ought to do it: 1. List of people and contact info 2. Reminders to meet periodically that could be changed based on the contact. 3. Ideally, something that could be edited either online AND an app so that its synced. Looking forward to getting your ideas and input.
posted by seatofmypants on Feb 25, 2014 - 12 answers

Help, I suffer from chronic bitchface

How do I seem more approachable in social settings without being a total fake? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Oct 13, 2013 - 41 answers

Let's be F.R.I.E.N.D.S!

What can I do to bond with my roomates? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Sep 11, 2013 - 13 answers

Want to connect with extended family, but don't know the words

For a variety of reasons I have never been close with my extended family. Growing up there was tension between my parents and them. We maybe saw them once every few years and I knew virtually nothing about any of them. When I was older and began to appreciate what I was missing, I was too socially awkward and wrapped up in young adulthood angst to make the connection myself. I want to connect now and don't know how. [more inside]
posted by Hey nonny nonny mouse on May 29, 2013 - 8 answers

Books for 30-something researcher suddenly in a management job

Can you recommend a book for a newly-promoted researcher who isn't used to managing a team? [more inside]
posted by mateuslee on May 20, 2013 - 9 answers

Please don't let middle school go on forever in my head.

People don’t like me. Somehow, I’m one of those individuals who rub most of the population the wrong way. All right, then. With that knowledge, how do I move ahead and have a decent life? [more inside]
posted by silly me on May 19, 2013 - 24 answers

Looking for a social skills book for my adult-book-reading 7-year-old.

I'd like to find a book for my little girl that goes into some of the unwritten social rules and give specific tips on how to interact with other kids in various situations (including difficult ones), and doesn't focus on pathologizing or fixing anything. [more inside]
posted by Eolienne on May 13, 2013 - 20 answers

How to not act superior?

I received some feedback recently that I come across as arrogant, condescending, and pretentious. How can I stop coming across this way, externally? How can I get at the root of underlying attitudes, internally? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2013 - 53 answers

Help me define some specific social skills-- which skills are necessary?

I see a lot of people refer to 'social skills' as an amorphous entity that encompasses being 'good with people', or apply extraverted-individual standards to define them (such as 'mingling at parties' or 'engaging in small-talk'). What I'd like to see is a set of actual skills, something like 'the skill of knowing how to write longhand', or 'the skill of tuning a piano': really specific and concrete, with broad applications regardless of one's lack of desire to mingle at parties or in bars. I guess I'd like to know what the hive mind thinks are the specific skills necessary to succeed in college (that is, with professors and/or fellow students) or with professionals in a semi-informal working environment. Bonus for specific skills needed for a teacher. Bonus-plus for breaking down any skill into aspects or components. [more inside]
posted by reenka on Feb 18, 2013 - 17 answers

Is it possible to develop conversational skills later in life?

I grew up as a painfully shy, socially anxious extrovert. No friends that weren't online, could not talk to anyone. This was not a fun combination, so after Highschool I worked on fixing it and I've gotten better. I can make small talk, break the ice, carry on a general conversation. But this is not what I want. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Feb 9, 2013 - 10 answers

Improve my social skills with points, levels, and prizes

Do you have suggestions/recommendations for games and/or desensitization practices with the objective of improving social skills? Shyness and/or introversion filter. [more inside]
posted by Dances with sock puppets on Nov 30, 2012 - 8 answers

What should I do when large numbers of somewhat important people find me unpleasant to be around? Can I make myself more pleasant?

What should I do when large numbers of somewhat important people find me unpleasant to be around? Can I make myself more pleasant? [more inside]
posted by jumelle on Nov 16, 2012 - 28 answers

I know not EVERYONE is a micromanager...help me act like I know it!

Past experiences with obnoxious, micromanaging-prone colleagues, etc., have left me with a tendency toward knee-jerk defensive reactions to even the mildest, friendliest comments about my hobby/crafting projects-in-progress. I don't like having these reactions, but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with them less awkwardly and am thinking some better "scripts" need to be added to my personal phrase bank. Suggestions? (Lengthy details abound...) [more inside]
posted by aecorwin on Nov 5, 2012 - 13 answers

My SO's cousin wants to be Facebook friends with me. How can I kindly say no?

One of my awesome boyfriend's distant relatives noticed that I'd liked a kind message she left for my SO on his wall, checked my page, saw that he and I were together and sent me a private message asking if we could be Facebook friends. As a general rule, I do not friend people I've not met in person. I've never been great at sugarcoating things; how can I politely and respectfully decline?
posted by oogenesis on May 25, 2012 - 30 answers

How do I relax and just get laid, rather than obsessing over it?

I want to have more sex, but I don't want to get hung up about it. How do I stop obsessing about (not) getting any? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2012 - 17 answers

Introverted 18 y/o seeks advice.

I'm an intensely introverted 18 year old living in somewhat of a social vacuum. I need some advice. [more inside]
posted by csjc on Mar 7, 2012 - 18 answers

Help a Martian deal with a Venusian complainer.

I rarely vent (except about philosophical or political matters) and don't see the point in complaining about my day. My wife behaves differently. Often she gets mad that I "have no response" to her complaints. How should I deal with these situations? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2011 - 57 answers

How To Handle A Stressful Snowflake Situation With Class

How does one deal with constantly being told that they've done something wrong to another person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2011 - 19 answers

Cultivating Genuine Interest in Others

I'm not really interested in other people and their lives. I don't like this and I want to change. [more inside]
posted by PFL on Aug 30, 2011 - 37 answers

Even hermit crabs need to sacrifice their shells for potential profit

How does a long-time recluse reintegrate into society? Need advice on how to spark an inner desire to socialize, and how to transform my mindset into one that makes socializing enjoyable. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2011 - 37 answers

Work Social Skills for the Non-Socially Inclined

Social Skills filter: I'm looking for proper resources to learn social skills, especially around the workplace. Very much a special snowflake-type situation with lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 17, 2011 - 17 answers

How do I break the ice?

I need tips and resources on the pure art of starting conversations. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 1, 2011 - 27 answers

Seeing the good in people (including myself)

In friendships, I have a hard time seeing myself as the concrete stuff I can bring to it (helping others, entertaining them). I can't see people appreciating me for my "soft" qualities (kindness, affection, etc.). Although I can appreciate other people for more than what they bring me in concrete ways, I can't put words on the things I like about them. What kinds of qualities are good to see in friends? [more inside]
posted by Monday, stony Monday on Jun 27, 2011 - 17 answers

Careers for a social butterfly

What kinds of professional careers are there that involve working with people and helping them that won't bore me or burn me out? [more inside]
posted by Neely O'Hara on Jun 24, 2011 - 15 answers

I believe you when you tell me that we've met before, this time you've got my interest, this time you've got the floor

How can I get better at talking to new people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2011 - 9 answers

Social Skills Training/Behavior Therapy in NYC?

I need to improve my social and relationship skills. Can anyone recommend a behavior therapist in NYC who does social skill training and takes Empire Blue Cross/Blue Shield? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2011 - 3 answers

Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world

I'm a woman in my 30s. Six months ago, I moved cities to be with my boyfriend. Things with him are going pretty well, but I really, really miss my old friends, and I really need to make some new friends. How can I make some new friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2010 - 16 answers

Can therapy give concrete help with social skills?

Unbearable loneliness is making me consider trying therapy again. I'd like to work with someone who can give me concrete help on improving my social skills. Do such therapists exist, and how can I find one? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 12 answers

Management 101

How do I encourage people I'm working on a magazine with to do better and work harder without being a dick? [more inside]
posted by ejfox on Oct 21, 2010 - 13 answers

I wanna get noticed...

I'm a wallflower but I don't like being a wallflower. How can I stop? [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Oct 10, 2010 - 17 answers

Not-obvious things you shouldn't say to women

What are some not-obvious things you can't/shouldn't say to women? [more inside]
posted by pauldonato on Sep 15, 2010 - 172 answers

Help me keep it light and fun and make people smile

How do I become one of those people who makes everyone they talk to feel great? With bonus: how to manage the situation gracefully if this is taken as a come-on... [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Aug 14, 2010 - 24 answers

My schedule is totally not interested in you

Mind-reading Filter: What does this mean - "Well, I'm totally booked up this week... I don't know what my schedule is next week." [more inside]
posted by XMLicious on Aug 10, 2010 - 21 answers


Help me not be a socially-awkward weirdo around men I find attractive. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2010 - 11 answers

How do I keep friends?

When you first meet someone, aside from personality type, what are things that the person can say or do that would make you NOT want to spend time with them again? I'm late developing social skills (social anxiety in HS; stayed inside 90% of the time) and one thing I've noticed is that while people take an interest in me initially, I haven't had any success maintaining that interest. [more inside]
posted by biochemist on Jul 17, 2010 - 31 answers

How can I help an autistic guy navigate "Facebook friends"?

My brother, who is a young adult with autism and other mental disabilities, got himself banned from Facebook because he was bugging "friends" of his friends. I need help explaining the unwritten rules of social networking, and creating some basic guidelines for him to follow when he tries Facebook again. (Much more inside.) [more inside]
posted by me3dia on Jul 2, 2010 - 21 answers

I'm out of sorts. Help me find some sorts.

I don't work or go to school. I have no friends. I live with/off my parents. Interacting with people – especially people I don't know – makes me very nervous. It's been like this for years. How do I turn my life around? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2010 - 25 answers

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