For various reasons, I've never been entirely comfortable with a very common type of social event -- I'd characterize it as meeting in loud spaces in the evening with strangers around alcohol. In college, they were frat parties. In business school, it's been beer blasts. In professional life, it's been bars and happy hours.
These social events are so common that I haven't been able to avoid them entirely, and I realize to some extent attending them is important because they're so common -- this is how many people meet mates, job prospects, connections. Is it worth it to force myself to get better at enjoying them, or am I completely justified in avoiding them as much as I can?
(personal details follow)
[more inside]
posted by Borborygmus
on Jan 17, 2013 -
27 answers
How do I tell my instructor that I would like to see him socially after the class is over without sounding like a stalker? You would think being direct would be the simple answer, but I am feeling socially awkward about the whole thing and need some advice.
[more inside]
posted by evilcupcakes
on Dec 7, 2012 -
20 answers
One of the downsides of being born in mid-January is that it's always snowing, which leads to a certain inertia when it comes to birthday parties. People don't like to expend the effort to come to a birthday until they think it's going to be exceptionally fun.
[more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01
on Dec 3, 2012 -
11 answers
Never been on a date and approaching my mid-20's, so I should probably figure out what I'm doing wrong, eh?
[more inside]
posted by Geektox
on Nov 22, 2012 -
38 answers
I'm at business school, and we have regular social functions, mainly happy hours, promoted by the school with the aim of expanding our networks.
It's not like I'm bad at them. I'm actually pretty sociable. But I'm there for a reason, and I wouldn't be there if I had a choice.
Can anyone suggest ways to optimize this socialization time, for example, exercises I might practice at these events to be more witty, funny or charming? Thanks!
[more inside]
posted by Borborygmus
on Sep 23, 2012 -
13 answers
I’m not naturally social, and I’m looking for tricks on speeding up my banter with aquaintances and strangers.
[more inside]
posted by timsneezed
on Sep 5, 2012 -
21 answers
Do bars like the one on Ally McBeal really exist? Tell me where! Anywhere in the world will do, but it must fit the bill.
[more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife
on Aug 24, 2012 -
6 answers
As a shy, awkward introvert who is frankly not good with people, how can I shut down my own negative self-talk when I'm in the midst of social situations--namely, a big two-day-long event happening this weekend? Are there any easily remembered mantras or things I can tell myself so that I'm not focusing the whole time on my own shortcomings?
[more inside]
posted by indognito
on Jul 28, 2012 -
36 answers
Others describe me as "quiet". Is there something wrong with how I interact with others?
[more inside]
posted by wansac
on Dec 7, 2011 -
37 answers
My Meetup group has grown too large for our regular trivia night. Help me brainstorm ideas for a group of 10-15 people (sometimes more, sometimes less) to play trivia, drink beer, and socialize.
[more inside]
posted by aabbbiee
on May 26, 2011 -
10 answers
Are my odds of working in a technical field substantially lower because I don't "buy into" the lifestyle?
[more inside]
posted by Nomyte
on May 23, 2011 -
25 answers
How Do You "Break Up" with Another Dude? I think I remember my present problem turning up on Seinfeld or Friends or something, which makes sense because it's kind of absurd. When a romantic relationship no longer functions, there are some established processes and social mores. When a regular friendship maybe needs to end or be heavily renegotiated, the way to proceed is much less clear. Help?
[more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak
on Apr 30, 2011 -
36 answers
An introvert in an extrovert's world - Teach a perennial shy guy how to navigate dating and relationships
[more inside]
posted by photo guy
on Feb 10, 2011 -
23 answers
Should I try online dating or stick to hoping to meet someone in the outside world? More details inside.
[more inside]
posted by Polgara
on Feb 5, 2011 -
29 answers
How do you get over being unattractive? I've never dealt with image issues before, but I've been increasingly aware of my appearance.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jan 21, 2011 -
43 answers
It seems I don't have a lot of sustained interest in meeting new people or hanging out with people in general
other than people I'm attracted to romantically/want to date.
[more inside]
posted by clever anonymous username
on Dec 19, 2010 -
11 answers
I'd like to find a book club in DC. Preferably one that is mainly made up of twentysomethings. Know of any groups I could join?
[more inside]
posted by forkisbetter
on Nov 14, 2010 -
3 answers
Help me understand why I would rather watch re-runs of The Cosby Show & Roseanne rather than hang out with anyone.
[more inside]
posted by KogeLiz
on Sep 9, 2010 -
20 answers
Great with online dating, not so much in the real world. How can I better recognize when it's okay to ask someone out?
[more inside]
posted by photo guy
on Jun 13, 2010 -
13 answers
I need to learn how to meet women. Six months ago my girlfriend and I broke up. Before I met her (she was a fan of some writing I did and pursued me), I was completely isolated. I literally never interacted with anyone beyond getting change at the grocery store. I've gotten a bit better, but being alone again I am finding it very difficult.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 26, 2010 -
19 answers
What are your "secret weapon" conversation topics? These are the topics that never fail to engage a group of people, are fun, interesting, long-lasting, and non-offensive? Examples inside.
[more inside]
posted by TimeTravelSpeed
on Mar 9, 2010 -
85 answers
What slang words have gone out of date within the past 10 years or so?
[more inside]
posted by naju
on Mar 7, 2010 -
82 answers
I seriously need to meet some new people and get out of the house. Can you help me develop some new hobbies that will enrich my life and put me in social situations?
[more inside]
posted by mintchip
on Jun 27, 2009 -
22 answers
I often feel nervous before going to social gatherings. Is there anything I can do (short of drinking a shot of something) that will help me calm down and just enjoy myself?
[more inside]
posted by cymru_j
on Apr 21, 2009 -
28 answers
How do I deal with a real fraidy cat? My kitty is afraid of everyone except me, especially other animals. How do I introduce him to the dog (and toddler) I now live with? Or should I just keep them separate?
[more inside]
posted by katybird
on Dec 10, 2008 -
10 answers
I'm going to an art exhibit opening where a friend-of-a-friend's band is playing. I'm arriving about an hour before him and I honestly don't know how to socialize there. Can anyone just point me in the right direction?
posted by daeken
on Dec 6, 2008 -
12 answers
