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How to fit in with your classmates when you'd rather be independent

My program seems really social. I'm not really a bubbly social person, and I enjoy solitude. How can I still fit in with the group while preserving my precious, precious alone time? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Sep 1, 2014 - 13 answers

I don't have friends.

I'm interested in improving my social or networking skills for a better perspective on life. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Jul 28, 2014 - 8 answers

Why are drinkers so determined to get non-drinkers drinking?

I occasionally have to work-related social events where there is huge pressure to drink alcohol. I am trying to understand where this pressure comes from. [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Jun 16, 2014 - 65 answers

How to go into (adult) society again

Any tips to start socializing and living again after a long period of being anti-social/irregular life? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on Jan 31, 2014 - 6 answers

Integrating an Aspie-ish significant other into a friend group?

My wonderful, kind, sweet, smart boyfriend has, I think, a few Aspie traits. They're mostly noticeable when we're socializing with my friends. Bringing him into my friend group is causing me a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. What can I (we) do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2014 - 13 answers

How do I improve my "offensive game" in the sport of socializing?

I just got back from a party, and I noticed one major problem I have with socializing. I'll try to describe the problem here. It feels like I am bad at directing the flow of conversation back to the person. It's as if the person is oppressing me with his/her words. Instead of bouncing the conversation back, I simply bear it, and respond weakly with an answer that suffices. [more inside]
posted by wuMeFi on Oct 20, 2013 - 14 answers

Separating Twins into Different Classes at School?

My (boy / girl) twins will be entering kindergarten this September. We've been asked if we want them placed into separate classes, or left together in the same class. Need to give them our answer by Monday and frankly, I'm at a loss and have no idea what I should do. If you are a parent of school-age or older twins, can you please share what you did and why? If you yourself are a twin, how did your parents handle it? How did it work out? Other knowledgeable anecdotes and advice welcome. Links to any online resources I can read on the topic would also be appreciated.
posted by zarq on Jun 22, 2013 - 28 answers

I promise I don't bite . . .

What causes social rejection absent a glaring personality flaw? [more inside]
posted by chainsofreedom on Apr 27, 2013 - 16 answers

Is it worth it to learn to socialize this way?

For various reasons, I've never been entirely comfortable with a very common type of social event -- I'd characterize it as meeting in loud spaces in the evening with strangers around alcohol. In college, they were frat parties. In business school, it's been beer blasts. In professional life, it's been bars and happy hours. These social events are so common that I haven't been able to avoid them entirely, and I realize to some extent attending them is important because they're so common -- this is how many people meet mates, job prospects, connections. Is it worth it to force myself to get better at enjoying them, or am I completely justified in avoiding them as much as I can? (personal details follow) [more inside]
posted by Borborygmus on Jan 17, 2013 - 27 answers

Friendship is Magic

How do I tell my instructor that I would like to see him socially after the class is over without sounding like a stalker? You would think being direct would be the simple answer, but I am feeling socially awkward about the whole thing and need some advice. [more inside]
posted by evilcupcakes on Dec 7, 2012 - 20 answers

A belief system that denies itself.

What denomination or affiliation of Christianism am I being gently introduced to? [more inside]
posted by polymodus on Dec 6, 2012 - 12 answers

Help Me Throw the Best Birthday Party Ever

One of the downsides of being born in mid-January is that it's always snowing, which leads to a certain inertia when it comes to birthday parties. People don't like to expend the effort to come to a birthday until they think it's going to be exceptionally fun. [more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01 on Dec 3, 2012 - 11 answers

Dating, much like magnets, are difficult to understand.

Never been on a date and approaching my mid-20's, so I should probably figure out what I'm doing wrong, eh? [more inside]
posted by Geektox on Nov 22, 2012 - 38 answers

Making plans with friends

How do grownups make plans? [more inside]
posted by mendel on Nov 19, 2012 - 21 answers

I promise I'm not a snob!

How do I become more aware of my surroundings and less of a space cadet? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Nov 19, 2012 - 9 answers

Ideas for optimizing my time at social events I have to attend?

I'm at business school, and we have regular social functions, mainly happy hours, promoted by the school with the aim of expanding our networks. It's not like I'm bad at them. I'm actually pretty sociable. But I'm there for a reason, and I wouldn't be there if I had a choice. Can anyone suggest ways to optimize this socialization time, for example, exercises I might practice at these events to be more witty, funny or charming? Thanks! [more inside]
posted by Borborygmus on Sep 23, 2012 - 13 answers

the art of small talk

I’m not naturally social, and I’m looking for tricks on speeding up my banter with aquaintances and strangers. [more inside]
posted by timsneezed on Sep 5, 2012 - 21 answers

Where can we dance to Vonda??

Do bars like the one on Ally McBeal really exist? Tell me where! Anywhere in the world will do, but it must fit the bill. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Aug 24, 2012 - 6 answers

Help me not mentally flagellate myself

As a shy, awkward introvert who is frankly not good with people, how can I shut down my own negative self-talk when I'm in the midst of social situations--namely, a big two-day-long event happening this weekend? Are there any easily remembered mantras or things I can tell myself so that I'm not focusing the whole time on my own shortcomings? [more inside]
posted by indognito on Jul 28, 2012 - 36 answers

I'm hungry.

Food and friends on food stamps. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2012 - 72 answers

Me : Extrovert. She : Introvert. Can this relationship survive? Should it?

Me : Extrovert. She : Introvert. Can this relationship survive? Should it? [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on Mar 28, 2012 - 67 answers

How can my teenage son improve his dating/friend making skills?

How can my teenage son improve his dating/friend making skills? [more inside]
posted by hick57 on Feb 16, 2012 - 35 answers

don't call me (for a while), I'll call you (eventually)

What are some socially acceptable ways to "drop out" socially for 6 months or so? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2012 - 12 answers

Being inside your home or outside "in the world" - is it normal to make this split in life?

Being inside your home or outside "in the world" - is it normal to make this split in life? [more inside]
posted by Lotsofcoffee on Jan 29, 2012 - 17 answers

Did I forget how to have fun?

I have great supportive friends. Why won't they socialize with me? [more inside]
posted by pinsomniac on Jan 1, 2012 - 26 answers

A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Musicians?

Does something like Dr. Sketchy or a hackerspace exist for musicians? [more inside]
posted by lekvar on Dec 21, 2011 - 5 answers

Would you prefer I start shouting?

Others describe me as "quiet". Is there something wrong with how I interact with others? [more inside]
posted by wansac on Dec 7, 2011 - 37 answers

Some folks see the world as a stone: concrete daubed in dull monotone.

I'm getting frustrated and increasingly upset by others' rose-tinted, idealized notions about youth and the pursuit of happiness (e.g., this very popular sideblogged comment). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2011 - 32 answers

Brainstorm Me a New Trivia Event for My Meetup Group

My Meetup group has grown too large for our regular trivia night. Help me brainstorm ideas for a group of 10-15 people (sometimes more, sometimes less) to play trivia, drink beer, and socialize. [more inside]
posted by aabbbiee on May 26, 2011 - 10 answers

And the home computer has me on the run.

Are my odds of working in a technical field substantially lower because I don't "buy into" the lifestyle? [more inside]
posted by Nomyte on May 23, 2011 - 25 answers

A close-knit group would be nice!

How can I find a knitting group in Oxford, England? [more inside]
posted by bibliophibianj on May 5, 2011 - 5 answers

How Do You "Break Up" with Another Dude?

How Do You "Break Up" with Another Dude? I think I remember my present problem turning up on Seinfeld or Friends or something, which makes sense because it's kind of absurd. When a romantic relationship no longer functions, there are some established processes and social mores. When a regular friendship maybe needs to end or be heavily renegotiated, the way to proceed is much less clear. Help? [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on Apr 30, 2011 - 36 answers

Dating/socializing 101 for introverts

An introvert in an extrovert's world - Teach a perennial shy guy how to navigate dating and relationships [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Feb 10, 2011 - 23 answers

To Online Date, or Not to Online Date, that is the question

Should I try online dating or stick to hoping to meet someone in the outside world? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Polgara on Feb 5, 2011 - 29 answers

You're so vain, you probably think this question is about you.

How do you get over being unattractive? I've never dealt with image issues before, but I've been increasingly aware of my appearance. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2011 - 43 answers

Why don't I want friends?

It seems I don't have a lot of sustained interest in meeting new people or hanging out with people in general other than people I'm attracted to romantically/want to date. [more inside]
posted by clever anonymous username on Dec 19, 2010 - 11 answers

Book clubs for twentysomethings in DC?

I'd like to find a book club in DC. Preferably one that is mainly made up of twentysomethings. Know of any groups I could join? [more inside]
posted by forkisbetter on Nov 14, 2010 - 3 answers

Social classes/activities in DC

DCFilter: Looking for classes or group activities with an emphasis on socializing [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Oct 23, 2010 - 7 answers

Are my extroverted days over?

Help me understand why I would rather watch re-runs of The Cosby Show & Roseanne rather than hang out with anyone. [more inside]
posted by KogeLiz on Sep 9, 2010 - 20 answers

Anyone who mentions Dale Carnegie will be electrocuted through their keyboards

What makes a person "interesting," anyway? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2010 - 35 answers

When is it okay to ask someone out?

Great with online dating, not so much in the real world. How can I better recognize when it's okay to ask someone out? [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Jun 13, 2010 - 13 answers

I need to learn how to meet women

I need to learn how to meet women. Six months ago my girlfriend and I broke up. Before I met her (she was a fan of some writing I did and pursued me), I was completely isolated. I literally never interacted with anyone beyond getting change at the grocery store. I've gotten a bit better, but being alone again I am finding it very difficult. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2010 - 19 answers

Where can a 40 year-old dude go in the Tempe/Chandler AZ area to be (sort of) social?

Where can a 40 year-old dude go in the Tempe/Chandler AZ area to be (sort of) social? [more inside]
posted by mattholomew on Mar 18, 2010 - 4 answers

The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss.

What are your "secret weapon" conversation topics? These are the topics that never fail to engage a group of people, are fun, interesting, long-lasting, and non-offensive? Examples inside. [more inside]
posted by TimeTravelSpeed on Mar 9, 2010 - 85 answers

Daaaang.

What slang words have gone out of date within the past 10 years or so? [more inside]
posted by naju on Mar 7, 2010 - 82 answers

How to make friends out of classmates?

How can I get to know my college classmates? [more inside]
posted by Zorz on Feb 13, 2010 - 14 answers

Please go away.

How can we get the sexist guy to stop attending our feminist book group? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2009 - 35 answers

I... don't... touch people.

I can't touch people. I just can't. What the hell? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 9, 2009 - 27 answers

First Dating for the First Time

Please describe the best and/or the worst first date you've ever gone on. [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on Jul 9, 2009 - 60 answers

I seriously need to meet some new people and get out of the house. Can you help me develop some new hobbies that will enrich my life and put me in social situations?

I seriously need to meet some new people and get out of the house. Can you help me develop some new hobbies that will enrich my life and put me in social situations? [more inside]
posted by mintchip on Jun 27, 2009 - 22 answers

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