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Users that often use this tag:
Anonymous (56)
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Can one learn to enjoy and thrive in social interactions?

Is there any way to learn how to communicate like a normal human being? [more inside]
posted by the ghost of so and so on Jul 22, 2014 - 6 answers

How can I stop caring so much about what people think of me?

I tend to care about what people think way too much. I get nervous in social situations sometimes to where I feel shakey and out of breath. I can't think straight sometimes when talking to people. I also tend to change the way I act around different people to the point of where I feel disconnected from myself. How can I stop caring so much? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Jul 18, 2014 - 18 answers

questions about volunteering as a ZMP worker

Looking for practical tips on how and where to volunteer as a ZMP, unskilled worker with horrific social skills/personality. [more inside]
posted by beigeness on Jun 26, 2014 - 11 answers

How can social skills be improved? Or can they?

I am currently 21 years of age (female). Growing up I didn't have too many friends and always felt intensely awkward and shy. I've grown past some of those feelings as I've gotten older and feel like I understand a lot more about how to have friendships and how to relate to people now, but I don't feel like I understand as much as I should. I really want to be more social and be better at relating with others so I keep putting myself in social situations but I'm not sure that I'm improving all that much. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 30, 2014 - 11 answers

I just can't talk to people, and I'm so depressed.

9.5/10 times, I struggle with talking to people, even my own friends and family. Even my own parents sometimes. As a result my life is a life of constant pain and loneliness, even when I am with my friends and family. I can't hold conversations because my mind is too blank to start one or add anything other than "yeah, uh-huh" to a preexisting conversation. Talking to people one on one is a constant nightmare because I am incapable of holding up my part of the conversation or starting one. As a result, I always feel very uncomfortable around one on one conversations and always fear being caught in one. [more inside]
posted by ggp88 on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

You don't usually come to these things...

Want to rejoin the herd at my University hall! Any tips on doing this without seeming awkward and desperate? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 22, 2014 - 7 answers

How to Handle People When You Cannot Handle People

Seeking coping strategies for dealing with the public on small and large scales during a major depressive episode. My old ways of dealing with a deep low like this are not compatible with the life I've built since the last time this happened, and I would like to keep that life together. [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on Apr 21, 2014 - 14 answers

How can I get my life in order

I'm currently 21 years old (female). I live at home with my dad and his girlfriend of 17 years. I work two jobs (one at a sandwich shop I've been at for 5 years and another at a coffee shop I've been at for 7 months). I also attend community college and this is my third year there, I will have my associates degree at the end of summer in general studies, I want to transfer to a state university in my area but don't even know what I want to go for. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Apr 11, 2014 - 12 answers

The case of the un-responded-to text message

A former colleague got in touch to hang out. I didn't respond, but I actually wanted to. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Unemployment is leading to a lack of enjoyment in social activities.

I have been unemployed for close to a year. Lately, I have been withdrawing for social activities due to anxiety and a lack of self-esteem. I honestly feel like a different person than I was even a year ago (in a bad way), and it shows when I interact socially; I usually don’t even have very much fun due to the social anxiety and feeling that I'm being judged. Should I even do things with friends when I am not in the right frame of mind to have a good time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2014 - 16 answers

Looking for Social Anxiety Aphorisms

I am making a small website that will offer a list of one- or two-line phrases that will help people cope with day to day minor social anxieties and the feeling that everyone hates them. I've dug through the questions here and didn't quite find what I am looking for, though please feel free to point out past questions if I have missed them. Could you help me generate a list of aphorisms or quotations (from yourself, from well known people or from CBT/feeling good type stuff) that would be good pithy reminders to help people detach themselves from negative thoughts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2014 - 23 answers

Depressed & lonely; obviously the solution is to make myself lonelier!

I had a significant depressive period earlier this year. I'm climbing out if it now, but I'm awkwardly reticent and hung-up about telling anyone about my issues. My closest friends don't know or have been told a generic, "It was just a hard semester for me" story. But I feel so isolated and acutely lonely when I stumble and have a few bad days again, and I'd like to be able to reach out to friends. I don't want to engage in destructive isolation and have this unnecessary martyr complex, and need advice on how to open up and ask for/accept support. [more inside]
posted by Sudo on Dec 30, 2013 - 13 answers

Dealing with social anxiety about "new" family arrangements

My mother recently divorced my step-dad of 11 years and started dating a new guy about 6 months ago. Having a stranger in my family is causing my social anxiety to manifest when I go to visit on holidays and other times, and I don't know what is the best way to talk to my mom about this, and to what extent I should feel OK removing myself from these situations. I'm 26 years old but I have the feeling that the way I am acting is perceived as highly inappropriate and rude for an adult. She has been very understanding of my anxiety in the past but is now that it is related to her boyfriend, she's taking it personally and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by supernaturelle on Dec 24, 2013 - 26 answers

When to follow up about following up?

I met an old classmate at a party recently and would like to reconnect. I emailed her about asking her to hang, but I've gotten no response. What next? Social anxiety-colored snowflakes abound. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2013 - 8 answers

Please help me help my boyfriend with his social anxiety.

My boyfriend and I, both in our mid twenties, have been together for two years and living together for one. We have a very affectionate and loving relationship and are generally very happy together. We've had one major recurrent issue, however, and that is the difficulties that stem from his extreme social anxiety and insecurity. [more inside]
posted by Emms on Oct 11, 2013 - 17 answers

Can you please just stab me repeatedly with a needle?

I am trying to schedule getting a tattoo appointment with an artist I have previously worked with. It's proving to be more difficult than expected, and I don't know how long to wait between messages and how direct to be with him (I have generalized anxiety disorder). Snowflake-y details inside. [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Sep 18, 2013 - 10 answers

Let's be F.R.I.E.N.D.S!

What can I do to bond with my roomates? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Sep 11, 2013 - 13 answers

Laughter is the best medicine, except when it isn't.

I laugh a lot. How do I stop? [more inside]
posted by so much modern time on Sep 3, 2013 - 6 answers

Can't live like this...

If social media and crowdsourcing is good for anything, I figure it's to find some sort of answer to questions like these. Here goes nothing... I'm a 23 year old with cerebral palsy and while I'm very much a special snowflake in that I've been gifted with normal function as far as most of my life is concerned-most importantly in terms of intellect- there's one part of my CP that's made my life smaller and more miserable than any wheelchair could. It's affected my relationships with and opportunities for friends, dates and jobs, and for a richer life in general. Help me find a way out. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 21, 2013 - 24 answers

Social anxiety with strangers?

I seem to be developing social anxiety as I get older. What can I do about it? [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 on Aug 14, 2013 - 9 answers

Being professional while socially awkward

My role at work is changing such that I'll need to interact with people face-to-face and over the phone much more than I currently do. The problem: I'm kind of awkward. I don't want to make things go poorly for my employer, so what is my next step? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2013 - 21 answers

So many reasons to keep love/sex out of my life. Are they realistic?

I haven't had sex since 1999 (back when I was married) and haven't dated since 2006. I really want to meet men and date and have romance and make out and kiss and have sex, but there are so many obstacles! Are they all just manifestations of low self-esteem or are they real--or some of each? [more inside]
posted by primate moon on Jun 20, 2013 - 25 answers

Self-soothing or opting out?

When is it a good idea to cancel trips/plans when you're feeling badly? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on May 10, 2013 - 16 answers

How do I gain the courage to see a therapist?

I have pretty severe social anxiety. How do I gain the courage to see a therapist? I am mostly afraid of my parent's reaction. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2013 - 19 answers

How Do I Learn to Stop Worrying and Love Art School?

Due to a mix of laziness, depression, social anxiety and loneliness, I'm not doing too great in school. I really need to get it together, and I just don't know how to do it. I feel tapped out at the end of the day and I'm tired of it. I like art, but going to school for it just isn't very fulfilling. I'm thinking I just need to get through it and I'll be okay, but how do I develop the work ethic that my classmates have? [more inside]
posted by malapropist on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

Networking with the local coding community when you're female

I'm really interested in learning to code (Python in particular), but my forays into the local community have been frustrating. Is this a typical experience for a woman? What can I do differently? Having this coding experience is crucial to getting where I want to go in my career. [more inside]
posted by fantoche on Feb 25, 2013 - 24 answers

What is the best way to go about finding a therapist?

I think I have a personality disorder (not an illness or condition) that few therapists ever deal with. How can I find a therapist up to the challenge of helping me with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2013 - 15 answers

the perils of being good with people

I am the person at the party or the bar who can win hearts and minds, leave with everybody's contact info without asking for it, introduce like-minded people who are unable to hook up on their own, draw shy people out, etc. I'd like to learn how to do this in other areas of my life, without alcohol. I'd also like to learn how to better deal with some of the negative aspects of this kind of sociability. [more inside]
posted by par court on Feb 3, 2013 - 11 answers

Gyms are scary

Help me get over my gym anxiety and stay motivated to exercise. [more inside]
posted by nickhb on Jan 28, 2013 - 31 answers

How can I encourage more open communication with people?

Help with encouraging communication early in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by randomnity on Jan 2, 2013 - 6 answers

Martyr? I hardly even know yr!

How do you recognize and prevent situations in which attempting to stand up for yourself or for a principle of yours results in embarrassment and making yourself look belligerent, condescending, embittered, and a bit crazy? [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Nov 8, 2012 - 35 answers

Help a shy girl recruit a wingwoman

How to make a best friend in university [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Oct 22, 2012 - 19 answers

Help me enjoy my wedding (and keep from freaking out beforehand and the day of!)

What can I do to manage my stress and anxiety (about being the center of attention, the logistics, and getting married itself) on and leading up to my wedding day? And do you have any other advice to help me enjoy and appreciate my wedding? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 13, 2012 - 28 answers

Facing your Fears: Drugs, Booze and Social Anxiety

Need some advice regarding facing your fears, starting a new life, self confidence, social anxiety and self-loathing (I will be getting therapy soon) [more inside]
posted by frenchfryfrenzy on Sep 12, 2012 - 8 answers

Finding a Disability-Friendly Technical Job

I can't keep living on disability. I can't go back to school. I'm not good with people. How do I find a part-time job that I can do? Are there no very-part-time CS jobs aside from freelancing? [more inside]
posted by mock muppet on Aug 8, 2012 - 5 answers

Aggression from random strangers

I seem to draw aggression from random strangers. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm imagining it (but I don't think I am). And since I don't know why it happens, I don't know what I can do to stop it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2012 - 42 answers

Judge Dread

I know intellectually that I shouldn't worry so much about people judging me, yet my mind still goes there. Any advice/tips? [more inside]
posted by Team of Scientists on Jul 31, 2012 - 9 answers

frustration and connection in the city?

How have you negotiated being frustrated with the culture and experience of young-white-people-in-the-city without alienating friends or becoming a hypocrite/cynic/other mopey monster variant? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Jul 28, 2012 - 28 answers

Avoidant personality disorder - more than just social anxiety?

I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I've never actually been diagnosed, but when you look at the behaviors and symptoms, there's really no question about it. What is my question is, can I fix it? Can I deal with it? What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2012 - 22 answers

Should I invite friends to our wedding I'm not that close to?

Should I invite friends to our wedding that I'm not that close to and/or haven't really stayed in touch with? Do people think of wedding invitations as obligations to give gifts? Would it be really awkward? Or am I over-thinking this and I should just invite whoever I want to invite? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2012 - 33 answers

What to look for the first time you view a home?

What do I look for during an initial walk-through of a house? [more inside]
posted by Lt. Bunny Wigglesworth on Jun 12, 2012 - 32 answers

How can I want to make plans

I have social anxiety that psychs me out about making plans. I moved to a new city about seven months ago and still haven't seen old friends and extended family members that I really should see. Even though I enjoy hanging out with them, thinking about hanging out with them can feel like a stressful chore. I'm trying to get it together to see them and start being social, but a) how do I explain that I DO like them and am not trying to be a dismissive jerk and b) how can I stop having this problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2012 - 11 answers

How can a former shy person go from merely functional to friendly?

I used to be very shy. Through years of pushing myself (I'm 33 now), I've become pretty amazingly functional. But I find myself in an unexpected spot. While I very much want to be around people and I can now handle it without freezing up, my experience of actually being around people is one of gritted teeth and willpower. There's very little joy in it. In theory, I'd like nothing more than a bushel of friends hanging out in my kitchen on a Sunday night. In practice, I push myself into social situations like dunking my arm in freezing water, pulling it out with a huge sigh of relief as soon as I let myself. That's not a recipe for forging new friendships, which I know take time and certain amount of vulnerability. What can I do to take myself to the next level -- from functional to genuinely friendly? Do people ever make it to the next level? On the phobia scale, it's not enough for me to be able to let a spider crawl on my arm without having a panic attack, I need to be able to lay down in a cave full of spiders and love it. (I've been in therapy for a year, but aside from that, I'd like to hear from you all.)
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2012 - 21 answers

The ability to perform wheelies does not increase social confidence

How can I boost my confidence in approaching social situations? [more inside]
posted by clavier on May 15, 2012 - 9 answers

Want roommate divorce from my very own personal Eeyore.

My socially awkward roommate/friend is hampering my social life. I don't know how to kindly set boundaries without really hurting him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2012 - 16 answers

Help!

How can I overcome my introversion, social anxiety and supposed language barrier and bond with my SO's friends and family? [more inside]
posted by ohmy on Mar 6, 2012 - 14 answers

How to interact with twins?

There is a pair of twins I interact with socially. I cannot tell them apart. It's awkward and I think probably very rude of me. Help? [more inside]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders on Feb 14, 2012 - 29 answers

Socially awkward woman that can't lift a bowling ball seeks advice

Help me get out of having to go to my boyfriend's friend's wife's birthday bowling party that I wasn't even invited to. [more inside]
posted by KogeLiz on Feb 3, 2012 - 47 answers

Running into peope when you have social anxiety

How do I (someone with social anxiety) overcome my fear of running into certain people after a relationship ends badly? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2012 - 9 answers

Asking out a socially awkward friend

You're a smart, awesome guy with serious social anxiety. What's the least awful way a friend could let you know they have feelings for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2011 - 35 answers

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