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How to host a big party in a small place?

My partner and I are hosting a housewarming party and we've invited more people that I think we can accommodate. What's the best way to make sure the party goes smoothly and what are some things we can do to help things along? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 17 answers

 

Dating, touching, "sparks", and so on... what should I be looking for?

I'm an late-20s-guy finally starting to date for the first time. Overall, I'm finding the process fun, but as someone completely new to relationships and how they form - and someone who's self-analytical to the point of over-analyzing - I feel a little uncertain as to what's expected of me, and how I should behave on the first few dates. I've found a few useful resources on the Internet, but there's a lot of creepy advice out there, and I'd like to get some feedback from real people. So: when should I expect to feel a "spark"? Do you start touching your date in small ways before you feel a connection, or do you really only do that if you feel something? And what are the expectations surrounding that first kiss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 17, 2013 - 23 answers

My friend is befriending a rapist. What do I do about it?

How do I advise my (male) friend whose social circle is intersecting with a rapist? Seeking resources as well as advice. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2013 - 45 answers

How do I become a mature, professional adult?

I am a woman in my late 20s. Lately I've been feeling like all of the adults I know are more mature and adult-like in the way they hold themselves and behave than I am. I don't know how to get that or be more like that. What am I doing wrong? What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2013 - 20 answers

I don't know anyone at my college; I want friends, parties, and hookups

I'm finally realizing that even though I'm at a huge school, people won't just magically come to me, so I'm trying to make new friends, go new places, and enjoy myself. I want to be the guy that everyone knows, who is always busy. Problem is, I don't understand how to start since I don't know anyone, and since I've been in this situation for two years now, I can't play the "new in town" card anymore. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2013 - 33 answers

Can't Live Like This Forever

It's been four + years now, but I continue to experience a lot of social anxiety & PTSD related symptoms. How do I come to terms with the idea that I can't escape my past and the people from my past? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2013 - 11 answers

Could/should I find the man whose psychosis was directed at me?

About a decade ago I started University in the UK. Towards the end of my first year a friend I made began to become paranoid. His behaviour towards me was particularly troubling, and eventually rumours circulated that he had been institutionalised. I have always wondered what happened to him, and if he is OK. My concerns linger these many years later, but tracking him down online has achieved nothing. Is there any way I can find out if everything turned out alright for him, preferably without causing too many ripples? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2013 - 12 answers

Where therapy and parties collide, aka what happened to my social tact?

I ran into someone at a party that I'd previously met briefly in a clinical setting (in a position of authority), but I lacked the social tact to refrain from mentioning this. Is there anything I could have done to right the situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2013 - 23 answers

Etiquette for 'optional' workplace events that are not really optional?

Starting to feel uncomfortable about work events which are allegedly optional but don't turn out to be. How to approach this with boss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2012 - 19 answers

Should I apply to MSW programs now or later?

Do I have an appropriate background for admissions to an MSW program? Lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 10 answers

How to get over being insulted (if I was?)

I'm wondering if I'm being too sensitive regarding a perceived slight from one of my friends at a party? I have a mild case of social anxiety which may be exacerbating this. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 22, 2012 - 23 answers

Dating, for a messed up obese guy

I was (am?) socially broken, and had (have?) crippled my self-confidence, as well as my body. Help me fix me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2012 - 31 answers

Why am I always uncomfortable around people?

Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?* [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 15, 2012 - 25 answers

How do I interact with an adult who may have Asperger's in a way that makes them feel comfortable?

How do I interact with an adult brother of my girlfriend I am meeting for the first time... who may have Asperger's/autism spectrum...... in a way that makes them feel comfortable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2012 - 18 answers

Should I date now, or wait until some life improvements I'm working on come to fruition?

For the first time in my life, I feel confident enough to start dating. Thing is, my life situation isn't great at the moment, but should hopefully be better in the next 3-6 months. Should I actually start, or hold off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 23, 2012 - 23 answers

How do I fix my social reputation at work?

What would you suggest for improved social skills, fitting in, decreased awkwardness, and undoing a reputation for being annoying at work? I'd especially love help for nerds with social anxiety who need to fit in with mainstreamy socialite sorts of people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2012 - 20 answers

This won't end well and it's really not helping anyone

I believe that my parents are about to make a terrible financial mistake by purchasing a house for my sister. When I bring up my objections, they assume it is because I am jealous and they get defensive. How can I express my concerns in a way in which they will listen, and not just brush my concerns off? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2012 - 33 answers

Help a high school junior get a social life

I am a high school junior who is growing unsatisfied with his social life. How can I meet people outside of school? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2012 - 20 answers

Do people prone to depression and similar illnesses tend to (unwittingly?) form social groups together?

Do people prone to depression and similar illnesses tend to (unwittingly?) form social groups together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2012 - 6 answers

Tips for living with someone who has a chronic illness?

Tips for living with someone who has a chronic, serious illness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2012 - 19 answers

Not quite a blind date, but close enough

High School-esque Drama Filter! My friend recently told me that a friend of hers is interested in me. With my consent, she's arranged a group dinner on Friday and invited both of us along. There's no reason that this thing should faze me, but the amount of freaking out I'm doing right now is ridiculous. Help me calm down before I cancel out of sheer panic! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 29, 2012 - 11 answers

Asking out a socially awkward friend

You're a smart, awesome guy with serious social anxiety. What's the least awful way a friend could let you know they have feelings for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2011 - 35 answers

How do I get better at banter and better enjoy and participate in workplace conversation and jocularity?

How do I get better at banter and better enjoy and participate in workplace conversation and jocularity? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2011 - 17 answers

Is it possible to move rented accommodation in the UK while claiming Housing Benefit?

Is it possible to move rented accommodation in the UK, in London, while claiming Housing Benefit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 10, 2011 - 8 answers

I can't respond to your 3000 messages

TL;dr, I have a very clingy friend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2011 - 24 answers

Don't understand people

I have a weird brain that needs fixing. Any recommendations for NHS advice/private psychiatric recommendations in London? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2011 - 7 answers

(in theory) I'm a manager, how do I get my staff to start treating me like it?

(in theory) I'm a manager, how do I get my staff to start treating me like it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2011 - 22 answers

Maybe I can just wear a mask?

Some bothersome social anxiety issues...should I seek medication/treatment? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2011 - 8 answers

Can a reserved, somewhat shy person be a good therapist?

For much of my life I dealt with rather severe depression and anxiety, which I've recently overcome with nearly 3 years of therapy. I'm 24 years old, trying to find a meaningful career that's more than just a paycheck. At this point, all I want to do is be a therapist. I want to help others the way that I've been helped. However, another issue I've been working to overcome is crippling social anxiety. It's gotten much better; I hardly consider myself shy anymore. Still, though, I'm not sure if I have the warm, trust-inspiring personality a therapist should have. Could I be a successful therapist if I'm far quieter and more reserved than the norm? I do love people and want to help, but sometimes I might not come across that way. Can a shy person be a good therapist?
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2011 - 16 answers

Am I being oversensitive?

Do people (especially men) tend to assume that a newly single woman of >45 must be desperate for a new partner, or am I misinterpreting normal conversational gambits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2011 - 32 answers

Fat pills for the fatty

I suspect I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. My current psychiatrist is only treating me for Social Anxiety/selective mutism. During our first session he did not focus on what I consider to be the disorders causing me to remain homebound and avoidant of people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2011 - 13 answers

Should I keep my mouth shut?

Is there anything I can say to discourage my socially-anxious friend from giving pedantic lectures? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2011 - 26 answers

I believe you when you tell me that we've met before, this time you've got my interest, this time you've got the floor

How can I get better at talking to new people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2011 - 9 answers

Building Communities As Alternative Lifestyles

For a long time now I've been aching to feel part of a larger community. Have you ever felt this way? How did you handle it? Have you ever built or been a part of a tight-knit social circle or community that lasted? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2011 - 29 answers

[Life Path/Career Advice Filter]: How can someone a person with diagnosed depression work in the field of social justice?

[Life Path/Career Advice Filter]: How can someone a person with diagnosed depression work in the field of human rights and social justice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2011 - 5 answers

Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world

I'm a woman in my 30s. Six months ago, I moved cities to be with my boyfriend. Things with him are going pretty well, but I really, really miss my old friends, and I really need to make some new friends. How can I make some new friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2010 - 16 answers

Help! I may be an asshole

I seem to have a neverending list since adulthood of people that just simply do not like me, and increasingly shorter list of those that do. How do I become less of an asshole? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2010 - 55 answers

Hell is waking up to two traveling Australians I've never met sleeping in my living room for six days.

How can a quiet and reserved person make living with very social individuals work? What's the best way to reconcile each side's concerns about the living situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 27, 2010 - 21 answers

What's your experience in getting an online community to grow?

I'm in the process of developing an online community (for a fairly specific industry/group of people) and was hoping to hear from others about their experiences during the early months/first year of getting an online community to grow. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2010 - 3 answers

You kicked me out and now want to hang out with me?

A couple of years ago, an acquaintance invited me to join a book club that met on Wednesday nights. I joined and came to meetings for several months. Then, one night, I walked in on Thursday night book club by accident... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 10, 2010 - 11 answers

Homebound and friendless

I was "homeschooled" from age 11 to 18 by emotionally/verbally abusive and neglectful parents. During this time I was deprived of contact with the outside world, an education, medical care, and much needed therapy and medication for what is obvious to most people in the world except my parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2010 - 30 answers

I want to be a little crazier

How do I stop giving people the impression that I'm totally boring? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2010 - 25 answers

Single female. Los Angeles. How do I do this?

How and where does a chick in her late twenties meet guys in Los Angeles? I'm single for the first time in eons, and I'm just starting to come out of my shy shell, too. I'm looking forward to the casual dating scene, except I'm clueless as to where to go (and what to do)! I *don't* want to try anything internet-related (not even meetups) this time. The internet's always been a crutch for me, and I want to overcome that. I will sometimes be with other friends, but sometimes I'm going to be on my own. Which I'm excited about! ...but a total n00b. Help me figure out where to go and how to attract some attention without desperately clinging to a friend's arm. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 30, 2010 - 10 answers

How should I seek therapy?

I've got a lot of quirks, and my friends are fairly tolerant of them, but I'm beginning to think they might be indicative of a deeper social anxiety that's beginning to spiral into depression. How should I seek therapy? I live in the US, and I've heard that it can be quite expensive. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 12, 2010 - 9 answers

Could this be race-related?

I am a biracial female in my mid-thirties. Growing up in the 1980's as a mixed kid was no fun, but I survived. My mother was white, and my dad was not a strong black role-model; his family was not a part of my life, and likewise, I did not have any influence from Black culture as I grew up. My parents also sent me to a suburban school, which was predominantly white, so it was very hard to fit in there...I went through school with few friends, and college did not offer much chance to establish any more. By most interpretations, I would likely have fit in better in a "white: crowd (culturally, socially) but phsically I am still a black person. Still, due to my lack of racial identity, it was very hard to fit in anywhere. Fast forward to my question:) Present day well into the new century, I have a successful career and a small real-estate investment business. However, I find that I still have a lot of trouble in work, with my business and with making friends. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2010 - 26 answers

How do I hold my head up after this?

How do I restore my reputation after a drunken public display? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2009 - 22 answers

Breaking(up) news

What is the best way for a couple to tell their mutual friends that they're ending a long-term relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2009 - 14 answers

Worlds colliding!

How do I deal with anxiety about my discrete social groups interacting with one another? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 13, 2009 - 12 answers

Returning to University as a Mature Student

I'm making a career change to be a psychotherapist/clinical psychologist. As a result of this I'm returning to university this month in my early thirties to study an undergraduate degree. In order to make a success of this I want all aspects of it to go well including the social aspects. I have a lot of common sense and am somewhat introverted though not painfully. I'd really welcome any tips on getting the most out of this experience, particularly in terms of easing meeting new people and forming new friendships. I'm UK based.
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2009 - 7 answers

What does a qualitative dissertation look like for a quantitative grad student?

Defended the MA, it's on its way to being published. Great! Dissertation chair wants me to continue with the project, adding a qualitative/comparative component. Uh oh. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2009 - 8 answers

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