So this will usually be in a family setting. I live quite far away from most members of my family (brothers, cousins etc).
I look forward to seeing them but when I do something happens.
For the first few hours everything is great, I'm happy to see them. We're getting on great.
Then slowly but surely I start to feel that my life is inadequate, and that I am inadequate.
Witty responses become sarcastic putdowns and insults. I feel like I'm taking things the wrong way.
My own capacity for conversation and fun becomes subdued and almost entirely non-existent. I overthink every word. I feel completely mentally drained. And I wish they would leave as soon as possible!
I know I was happy before the visit or stay. I know I never felt inadequate with any of my friends or work colleagues.
But I feel really bad that I feel this way and I feel even worse in the actual situation. [more inside]
posted by razzman
on Apr 16, 2014 -
Tokers of Mefi! I'm hoping you can help me make the most educated and effective choice when I go to restock my herb tomorrow. I'm looking to replicate what for me, as someone dealing with cerebral palsy, (and because of it, a pronounced and profoundly isolating stutter), was a life-changing experience with MJ, one that came about a year after my first encounter with the herb. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77
on Apr 11, 2014 -
There's plenty of literature out there about creepy men, "nice guys" and other types of that sort. Where are all the resources for this regarding *women?* Google is only giving me examples like she put [something gross] in my food or she made inappropriate references to getting pregnant. I'm looking for something more subtle. Bonus points if it's aimed toward socially-awkward nerdy types. [more inside]
posted by Autumn
on Apr 9, 2014 -
My partner and I are hosting a housewarming party and we've invited more people that I think we can accommodate. What's the best way to make sure the party goes smoothly and what are some things we can do to help things along? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 7, 2014 -
What are some great, accessible books that would allow me to learn more about social choice theory without having to become an economist? I am thinking something along the likes of James Gleick's "popular science" Information Theory book, but for social choice theory. [more inside]
posted by TheyCallItPeace
on Apr 3, 2014 -
Should my parents pursue this matter of civil rights, social justice, and mistreatment by police? [more inside]
posted by 1270AEH
on Mar 30, 2014 -
I've struggled with pretty severe social anxiety most of my life, and I've now finally started to get a grip on it. Over the past year, I've gone from laying in bed thinking of reasons not to kill myself to getting a job, having a very small social life with some coworkers, and gaining some optimism finally. But I just don't know where to meet people to practice interacting with, particualarly girls. I'm a 24 year old guy and live in Nassau County, NY. I need some recommendations of places to go or groups to join. And by that I mean I really need you to hold my hand and be specific. Like not "join a yoga class" but "here's xyz yoga, join this class."
If it helps, I'm interested in reading, writing, music, nature, history, art, religion, new foods. Thanks for any help or advice.
posted by theshire
on Mar 26, 2014 -
I'm in a work place environment, and lately some people have found out some personal details about my life, and are using these details to disparage me in the office environment. I know that they must be talking about these details openly together, but in front of me and to me, they merely make repeated allusions or oblique references, usually with a twinkle in their eye. How do you respond to an attack that is indirect? [more inside]
posted by tenlives
on Mar 24, 2014 -
I stumbled across a site a few weeks ago which would put up an image of some sort and ask you to write what question came to your mind. I think the point was just to collect the questions and look at them (but it asked you to make an account before you could see more than a few of the other peoples' questions, and I never did that). I've forgotten where I found it. Does anyone know what site this was? [more inside]
posted by Wolfdog
on Mar 6, 2014 -
I value my privacy, and knowing that people I don't really know can easily discover my current physical location makes me feel queasy inside. How can I use the internet/social without basically shouting to the rest of the internet "this is where my body is right NOW!"? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Kamelot123
on Mar 4, 2014 -
In December I started working for a mill that manufactures flour, and although most employees there are excellent and fun to work with, I am discovering that many of my immediate co-workers appear to sabotage others for their own benefit. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend
on Mar 1, 2014 -
I am interested to read some commentary / discussion / critiques / first-person accounts about social climbing in our current society (preferably U. S. based). About both sides of the coin - people who are either successful or unsuccessful at navigating a change from lower-class to upper-middle-class, or beyond. [more inside]
posted by vignettist
on Feb 28, 2014 -
You and some friends (guys and gals) are hanging out chatting. It's all really casual and you guys are all good friends. One friend pulls out their knitting and starts working on it. (No charts, no pattern, just really simple stockinette stitch.)
Do you feel slighted? Like she's checked out of the conversation? Like she's bored with you and the group? Do you wish she'd just put it away and pay attention? [more inside]
posted by unlapsing
on Feb 28, 2014 -
In general, which elementary school grades cover prehistory? American colonial history?
posted by Elsie
on Feb 27, 2014 -
I'm a designer having trouble (a) getting work, (b) networking, (c) finding a peer group that I can hang out with. I live near Amsterdam.
What meetups / conferences / places can I go to that will solve as many of these issues as possible?
posted by gonzo_ID
on Feb 26, 2014 -
I'm asking specifically for nostalgia for a time before you were born, i.e. the Blitz parties/40s tea dances that have big in the UK for the past decade, or the popularity of Speakeasy-themed bars in the US. I'm thinking of nights that require you to dress in theme specifically and celebrate that time. [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday
on Feb 13, 2014 -
How can I start, or join, a public action committee or collective action group focusing on the needs and rights of pedestrians? A social support group or listserv would be OK too. [more inside]
posted by bad grammar
on Jan 26, 2014 -
I am a mid 20's male and have been suffering from social anxiety for 8 years. I have recently come out of a deep depression due to the residual effects of SA (intense isolation, no job, minimal contact with friends) and I can't endure this anymore I need to go through an intense change and to start a fresh. [more inside]
posted by frenchfryfrenzy
on Jan 20, 2014 -
"Same Love" by Macklemore is the epitome of a conscious (social, environmental justice) pop music song that has been a hit over the past two years. I'm looking for others to create a playlist - pop music songs that have been hits with a socially environmentally conscious message, or at least are not misogynist or violent in any way - talk about love, relationships, etc in a respectful way.
Can you make any suggestions? Thx!
posted by franklen
on Jan 15, 2014 -
Please help me create a comprehensive list of songs that reference events in U.S. History! I teach high school U.S. History courses, and each day between classes I try to play a song that references what we'll be studying that day - students try to guess who the song is by and how it relates to what we're studying as they come into class. [more inside]
posted by leitmotif
on Jan 13, 2014 -
I'm looking to freshen up the assigned readings for an undergraduate writing class that I'm about to start teaching. The theme of the class is art (by which I mean not only visual art, but also music, film, and writing) and social change--that is, whether the former can actually help to achieve the latter. I have some readings on the topic but am looking for more. Help me, hive mind!
posted by chicainthecity
on Jan 12, 2014 -
I AM a woman. I don't generally like hanging out with women. Suggestions? [more inside]
posted by skbw
on Dec 31, 2013 -
I need to sign up for a new credit card and am looking for one that is as socially/environmentally responsible as possible (i.e. not tied to big banks, corporations and/or oil companies who would be profiting off me as a consumer and doing bad things with that profit). Does such a card exist? I've searched online but am wary of bias.
posted by athousandtelephones
on Dec 29, 2013 -
Recently I discovered some great phrases that work much better than the standard response to a situation, and was wondering if anyone had any others. [more inside]
posted by Calicatt
on Dec 27, 2013 -
How would you put together a reading list that helps answer the question "how do Americans' present-day struggles for wellness, independence, and community compare to humans who've lived in other places and times in the ethnographic record?" [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish
on Dec 26, 2013 -
I'm looking for original self-marketing ideas for a writer and/or a designer. Okay, social media is important: Design your own page, update it frequently and get your friends to like it and promote it to their friends. But I'm looking for those kinds of tips that you've read and thought to yourself "Well that's original!". Something on par with Nine Inch Nails'/H2DA/Radiohead's decision to give their music for free "lest they come to the unique live concert experience" marketing ploy. Have you ever come across a Seth Godin or a Malcolm Gladwell book (or anything else) and was struck by something interesting?
posted by omar.a
on Dec 24, 2013 -
After years of saving and planning, I've been able to realize my dream of traveling the world for a year. I'm 6 months into my trip and I've been posting photos or updates about where I am in the world on facebook about 2 or 3 times a week. While many people have expressed appreciation for the updates or interest in what I'm doing, I've noticed about 7-10 friends who used to interact with me all the time on FB and real life have totally stopped liking/commenting/sending messages although they're still very active on the site. I kind of suspect some of them have blocked me from their timelines. I know not everyone will have an opportunity like this and I try to be sensitive to that. I'm not preachy about "the importance of travel", or posting pics of 5 star hotel rooms and fancy restaurants (I'm doing this as cheaply as possible, mostly hostels in developing countries and couchsurfing.) At the same time I LOVE seeing others' travel pics and, well, want to share some of the exciting, amazing things I'm experiencing with people in my life. But some people seem put off by this, so I'm wondering - am I being a jerk? What's the etiquette here?
posted by horizons
on Dec 20, 2013 -
I have been dating someone new and I really like spending time with him! But so far we've only hung out one-on-one. What are activities two people can do together, but which also encourage interaction with others? [more inside]
posted by figgy_finicky
on Dec 16, 2013 -
There are several people I've been chatting to online for various periods of time, who I'm likely to meet on my next journey around the USA. In the case of a few, they are asking to meet up. Nothing romantic and more than friendship with any, though the level of friendship differs; in some cases it's quite strong or complex. Problem is, the prospect of finally meeting IRL repeatedly terrifies me to the point of making me feel ill. Is this kind of feeling normal or common, or not? How can I subdue it and not make myself hide, literally? [more inside]
posted by Wordshore
on Dec 11, 2013 -
I work for a small company that provides educational services. We are quite active on social media in an attempt to increase traffic to our main website and push up our status on Google.
We create various types of social media posts including memes and short videos. We currently post these directly onto the social media sites.
My question is whether we could better serve our website by having them originate there (our main domain) and to then link to them on FB, twitter etc.
Another idea is to embed the code from our Youtube channel onto our main webpage and to then link from social media.
Would either of these have any impact on the traffic to our main page?
posted by tjabeijing
on Dec 11, 2013 -
Traditional marketing says blanket your market with repetitious ads for the new people who haven't seen it. I have a project I want to promote and attract attention to. Although I won't send out a tweet or a post every minute, should I make repetitious posts on Social Media too? Is there a good balance?
posted by CollectiveMind
on Dec 6, 2013 -
I am looking for a new clothing supplier. The previous company I shopped with have been outed as a bunch of labour-abusing dirtbags and I can't have that. I need to know the names of some places I can buy clothes with confidence and conscience and was hoping maybe I could get some suggestions. [more inside]
posted by longbaugh
on Nov 14, 2013 -
Please help. I work for a language school that teaches Mandarin Chinese to foreigners inside China. We specialize in one month intensive teaching for beginners. We want to increase our social media presence and have some (even though we do say so ourselves) excellent stand alone ideas to do this.
They are educational free formats that allow people to study Chinese online in creative ways. We don't know the best way to present them though. Should they be 'onsite' options through our main webpage,or would they be better served as stand alone entities with their own page and an affiliation to our main company website?
Any thoughts and shared best practice would be greatly appreciated.
posted by tjabeijing
on Nov 4, 2013 -
My boyfriend is a wonderful person, but apparently a lot of people find him creepy and off-putting. To be honest, I've been around him enough that I don't entirely disagree with them. I'm wondering what, if anything, I can do to help. [more inside]
posted by girlmightlive
on Oct 29, 2013 -
Lately I've been feeling pretty isolated because none of my friends really share my views on civil rights or social justice. The people I know who are more progressive are really militant and extreme and they're not very helpful to be around either due to their rather harsh approach to their various causes. Where on the internet and in real life can I as a white girl go to be part of a community that is proactive and progressive towards intersectionality, feminism, LGBTQ rights, and similar topics? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather
on Oct 28, 2013 -
Someone close to me (a man) is developing an increasingly conservative, even bigoted, viewpoint on a number of topics. Please help me figure out what the hell is going on and what I can do about it. [more inside]
posted by switcheroo
on Oct 13, 2013 -
Twitter and Tumblr feature trending or hot tags/news. But is there a way to find the most read/shared news story associated with a certain tag/news topic? [more inside]
posted by bluelight
on Oct 9, 2013 -
I am about to launch a project that I think will get a lot of attention. I have personal/business social media accounts already, but do I need a second set of social media accounts just for this project to keep my personal/business ones from getting cluttered?
posted by CollectiveMind
on Sep 28, 2013 -
Nowadays no one bats an eye -- well, almost no one -- if you say you're seeing a therapist. But what about in the early 70s? Was it socially acceptable? [more inside]
posted by ryecatcher
on Sep 11, 2013 -
I'm a 22 year old male. In the past month I've moved to a new area, lost my best friend and gone through a breakup. My friendship had been so broad and close that I neglected my other social connections. I'm also new in my job and haven't made any real connections there. Ultimately it feels like, in the span of a few weeks, I've lost all of my social outlets. I feel desperately lonely and unsure about what the hell I can do. I'd appreciate any advice on how to get through life day-by-day as I piece myself together. [more inside]
posted by Henners91
on Sep 3, 2013 -
What non-obvious effects can I expect if I take a job with hours that are very different from my wife's? [more inside]
posted by jon1270
on Aug 31, 2013 -
my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape
on Aug 28, 2013 -
How can I help my son to not feel embarrassed socially for having the healthy (and admittedly a little weird) lunches that I give him for school? [more inside]
posted by spbmp
on Aug 27, 2013 -
I recently discovered CASEL
, which supports social and emotional learning in schools. This is something I think I really want to support, but I'm more interested in social and emotional learning for a general
audience (voters, other Metafilter members, etc.), rather than the young students that are CASEL's focus. [more inside]
posted by amtho
on Aug 24, 2013 -
I have my first shift tomorrow at a job that requires me to be socially switched on (be friendly, enthusiastic, make small talk) while learning a lot of stuff I'll be new to. The shift is super long and I don't know if I'm going to be able to last that long mentally. What's an introvert to do? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch
on Aug 23, 2013 -
If social media and crowdsourcing is good for anything, I figure it's to find some sort of answer to questions like these. Here goes nothing...
I'm a 23 year old with cerebral palsy and while I'm very much a special snowflake in that I've been gifted with normal function as far as most of my life is concerned-most importantly in terms of intellect- there's one part of my CP that's made my life smaller and more miserable than any wheelchair could. It's affected my relationships with and opportunities for friends, dates and jobs, and for a richer life in general. Help me find a way out. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77
on Aug 21, 2013 -
I'm an ASW in Southern California and I'm relocating to San Francisco. What are some good resources/agencies for finding social work jobs in SF? I've used Indeed, Craigslist, and the UCSF website, but I don't know of enough agencies/hospitals up there to know which websites to check for job openings.
Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!
posted by blackcatcuriouser
on Aug 19, 2013 -
I'm an late-20s-guy finally starting to date for the first time. Overall, I'm finding the process fun, but as someone completely new to relationships and how they form - and someone who's self-analytical to the point of over-analyzing - I feel a little uncertain as to what's expected of me, and how I should behave on the first few dates. I've found a few useful resources on the Internet, but there's a lot of creepy advice out there, and I'd like to get some feedback from real people. So: when should I expect to feel a "spark"? Do you start touching your date in small ways before you feel a connection, or do you really only do that if you feel something? And what are
the expectations surrounding that first kiss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Aug 17, 2013 -