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Is this what it feels like to be unfit?

BAKERSFIELD! — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:23:31 -0800

My recovery time for my pulse rate is unusually long, but I haven't exercise since mid last year. Am I just unfit or what? I've been bad. I haven't been to the gym or done any significant exercise for over a year. I've gained heaps of weight and become a general all-round slob.

So I got fed up with myself a couple of weeks ago and got back into my old routine. Problem is my spin classes are now quite tiring, which is a new experience. It takes ages for my pulse rate to return to normal, like an hour or more. I've always been a fairly fit person and had a really quick recovery time for my heart rate so this is rather unusual.

Is this just a case of "duh, this is what it feels like to be unfit" or should I be worried?

ISO respectable Momwear

kmennie — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:09:43 -0800

Can you suggest some fall/winter clothes for me, given certain constraints? SAHM, suddenly muscular, don't want to succumb to sloppiness. I am now a stay-at-home mother of a toddler, which means I am stuck in very wash-and-wear, hardwearing, easy to move in clothes. Obviously jeans and t-shirts are my friends, but I'd rather not totally give up, appearance-wise.

I've developed giant arm muscles from hauling baby everywhere and the tailored stuff I used to wear is totally out, and I have no idea how to flatter/downplay big arms. I am a size 4-6 in pants, 12ish in tops; fit is a problem. Button-down shirts look lousy given that they have to be such a big size to fit my arms. I still have a wee bit of flub on my belly, so clingy knits are out, too, and all t-shirts seem too short now. Finding fitting tops that are not sloppy (see "hardwearing"), slutty (no cheapo rayon, please), or matronly (eg, Lands' End) is a real problem.

Shoes I can spend the day running around in that don't look sloppy are also hard to find.

Budget is not a major constraint if it's worth it, if it looks like a normal adult would wear it out to lunch but it can still be used to build leaf piles in. I'd go with a few nice sweaters if I had any idea what sort of sweater didn't make a big-armed girl look just plain fat.

Either general tips or specific suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Neil Simon's - The Odd Trio

SansPoint — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:05:32 -0800

My housemate's are terrible slobs, to the point where I'm about to snap. What can I do? Okay, I'm no Felix Unger, but my housemates would make Oscar Madison retch.

Neither of them seem to be capable of throwing things out, they leave dishes (99.8% of which belong to me) piled in the sink with food drying on them. One leaves bits of food all over the surface and floor when he eats. The floor of the ground floor is covered in bags of stuff from when one moved in in June. It's March now. The other's room exudes a smell of rot, body odor, and unknown things.

I've tried polite asks, angry rages, promises of rewards, threats of punishment... I'm about to take all the fucking dishes out of the cabinets and lock them in my room if they don't start cleaning them. The behavior does not change.

We move out in May. I'm worried we're not going to get our security deposit back. I'm thinking that the persistant cough that one has is a result of his appallaing living conditions in his room. What the hell can I do?

No, moving out is not an option. Don't even suggest it.

What's going on with my brain?

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 07:34:17 -0800

Is this depression, or is it something else? And what should I do to make it better? I don't feel sad or tired all the time. Just utterly, utterly unmotivated. My lack of motivation is messing with my life at home and at work. And I'm drinking, smoking dope and surfing the internet more than I probably should.

Six months ago, I was the happiest I'd ever been (this was me). I wanted more, I went for it, and things don't seem to be working out as well as I'd have liked. I think I'm sliding back toward depression, but I'm not sure if I'm actually there yet.

I'm exercising, I'm eating well, I'm in a good relationship, I'm paying off my debt. I started a new job, and it's got me back in in the city I was yearning for.

But I don't like my boss, and the job isn't what I'd hoped it would be. I'm a very career-focused woman, and I've been angling for this job for six years now. My disappointment with the job is pretty overwhelming, but I'm still dedicated to my career even if I don't like this particular employer. I feel stuck.

I have zero motivation at work. I'm smart and fast, which means I can get the minimum done fairly well in a short amount of time. But I probably spend six hours a day surfing the web and posting to various message boards from work, and two hours scraping by.

I have zero motivation at home, too. I'm leaving newspapers everywhere, dishes everywhere, bills, paperwork. The bathtub is a mess, the toilet is unscrubbed. There's moldy food in the fridge, and when I look at it I just groan and shut the door. I'm having trouble paying bills on time. I can't make myself do anything about it. I keep telling myself I'll take care of things next weekend, but then I never do.

I'm probably averaging 10-12 beers a week. Not as much as during my last depression, but enough that I get a buzz more than half the nights when I come home. I'm smoking pot 4-5 times a week. Again, not as much as I've smoked in the past, but I know it's all about escapism. Mixed with the drinking and my smallish frame it really zonks me out.

And I'm feeling overwhelmed by the stress of my recent move, my new job, my impending wedding, the death of a cat, and the loss of a friend/support network I had before I moved.

At work and at home, I feel like I'm sabotaging my future by slacking off so much.

I'm not sad, really, just weighed down, overwhelmed and unable to move.

I don't know what to do.

Advice?

Please don't tell me therapy. Unless you can recommend a genious miracle worker who takes Blue Cross in the Portland metro area, I don't want to hear it. My experiences with therapists have been universally disappointing.