Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with single

Flying Solo in France...

moocheen — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:07:47 -0800

Can I find a secluded get away in the South of France for 1? I want to go away to decompress after a long year and, the south of france is idyllic.

I will be going alone for a period of 1 or 2 weeks at the end of October and seclusion is what I'm aiming for.

How do I find a place to stay that isn't too big or massively expensive where I can have the opportuniy to keep to myself or mingle with locals to practice my french, depending on my mood?

Evidence to support feeling hopeful about finding someone?

Ringo — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 06:00:49 -0800

I need evidence! I want to change two of my core beliefs about myself: (1) I will not find someone I love as much as the last girl and (2) I will not be truly happy until I find someone else. If you are single and do not believe these things about yourself, what evidence would you say backs up those beliefs for you? I used to do cognitive behavioural therapy for depression/anxiety, and eventually was able to work my way out of a funk and became significantly happier for awhile. I’m now slipping into a depressive episode after a breakup (due to diverging life paths and locations that couldn’t be reconciled), and I think that this depression was triggered by the fact that a couple of my core beliefs are causing me fundamental vulnerability to events like this. I need to change these or else I will continue to slip into depression at times of adversity when I should merely be sad. By depressed I mean I am picturing the worst possible outcome (I will never again share mutual love with a female that I am mentally and physically attracted to) and I picture that outcome lasting forever, or lasting for so long that I eventually find it intolerable to continue. In any case, the future right now looks very, very bleak to me and I feel like my thoughts about the future are unhealthy. My justification for these beliefs goes like this:

Belief #1 – I will not find someone I love as much as the last girl

1) I’ve only met four girls I’ve felt this way about – two when I was a teen, one at 25, and one at 29 (this last one)
2) I guess I’m picky, but I know what I like, which means I have fewer relationships but the bonds I form are generally stronger – I don’t fall often but when I do I fall hard
3) I have a very hard time meeting girls I click with (see #1)
4) I felt like this girl was a better match for me than any previous, which makes the task seem all the more daunting

Belief #2 – I will not be truly happy until I find someone else

1) I have been somewhat content when not seeing anyone, even experiencing rare moments of joy, but I’m by far happiest when I’m in a relationship
2) I crave physical affection, and intimacy, and I actually feel like I need to have this at least weekly to be happy, and meaningless sex doesn’t do it for me

Some info about me:

I turned 30 recently, which is likely magnifying these feelings. However, I genuinely think I’m a catch: good-looking, professional job that I find pretty interesting, funny, artistic pursuits I am passionate about, plenty of friends (the last girl was the best match they had lined up for me…I may have exhausted that avenue for meeting people for now). I’m living in a smallish, isolated city in Canada (200,000 people), which is another concern because the dating pool is smaller. It’s a college town with an economy that isn’t the best so most intelligent, bright girls leave here for opportunities elsewhere, which was why the last relationship ended. However, I’m here for at least a couple of years pursuing a unique career opportunity and I think it would be a bad idea to move to a bigger city solely because it has a potentially larger dating pool.

So, any evidence that my beliefs are unfounded? Thanks very much.

Owt

effugas — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:27:21 -0800

What resources exist for a motivated single mother looking to take care of herself and her little girl? One of my friends is in something of a toxic place, and has a three year old daughter. She's 22, highly motivated, has straight A's in her recent classes, and the father is not a reliable source of financial support and lives relatively far away. She's dependent on her mom for support but that's running out quickly. Where can she go? What should she do? Is there something she can apply for?

How to overcome loneliness?

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:53:15 -0800

How do I deal with loneliness? How do I accept being single? I'm a 31 year old female, a decent looking and pretty nice human being. I have never been in a relationship. (I'm that girl who people point at and exclaim, "Why is she single? I don't understand it!) This used to really, really bother me. There have been attempts that always lasted 3 weeks or less, generally with me getting dumped. I fell for one of these guys and was pretty devastated when it ended. A friend said to me: the best way to get over this, to feel good about yourself and to find someone else is to FOCUS ON YOURSELF. (And having read all the singledom threads on Metafilter many times, the most common advice does seem to be: when you stop looking, someone will find you. It just happens.)

So this is what I did. I stopped putting myself out there and focused on me. I went back to school and got a graduate degree in a field I love. I went on several traveling adventures through Asia, Europe, the Middle East and Africa. I made good friends. I took up photography. I joined a wine club and a book club and had a grand ole time.

And then recently I woke up one morning and found myself a hundred times lonelier than I was before. The strategy hasn't worked and I don't know what to do.

How do I deal with this loneliness that is, frankly, ruining my life? How do I accept being single and most likely not having a child?

Note: I am not depressed. I have been in the past, and medicated. This feels entirely different. I also already have a therapist.

Anonymous simply because a couple of these 3 week disasters have been with people on Metafilter and, well, I'm embarrassed. Thanks.

Fun activities for a couple at home

the_dude — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 07:35:25 -0800

RelationshipFilter: Help me find some good time activities to do at home with a prospective girl friend. Although I'm not very young, I didn't have many relationships -and you can read the gory details of a previous on on ask.MeFi- in the past and I'm a bit inexperienced in this field.

I've been getting pretty close with this girl recently. She's very relaxed, fun and cool in general. She seems to be interested in me as well but is trying to take things slow.

Nevertheless, being the summer, there's not much to do here. She mentioned just going to my place to chill. That's where the problem starts.

My place is pretty dull and bland; a classic urban lonely guy's apartment if you ask me. I've lived in dorms for the past 8 years of my life; I'm more comfortable when I'm either alone or just with lots of people. I rarely spend any quality time at home; I either read or surf while I'm at home.

What I'm worried about is if I invite her to my place; it just might be awkward. Would hive mind recommend some activities for just two people? Any cool games for the Wii or PS3 that's *casually* fun? Board games? It might not be the case and we can just talk for hours as we do most of the time but a few ideas would not hurt.

Thanks everyone in advance. I've always been critical of such questions since it reflects a sense of insecurity but I think hive mind is friendly enough to embrace me as I'm.

Bike Filter-Old mountain bike, upgrade or not??

MiggySawdust — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:12:09 -0800

Bike Filter-What should I do with my old mountain bike? So, I was rummaging through my storage and found my old '94 or '93 GT Pantera. I had pretty much forgot about it and obviously haven't ridden it in years. Of course, it isn't ridable right now since the tires are flat and rotted, chain is rusted, wheels are all out of true and the BB is messed up. I already have a hardtail urban/street bike (Surly Instigator) and I am building a trail ride (SC Bullit), so I really dont need it.

But I really used to like riding it and am having thoughts about making it a single speed commuter/utility/beater bike. Most likley it would stripped down the bear essentials-no derailleurs, rear break only, single speed, a rack or two on it...etc. I dont want to spend more than a few(100-200 MAX) dollars on it.

Would converting it to a single speed be a good idea? I would have to put a little money/time into it this project, but would that money/time be better spent on a newer commuter/utility bike (Not really a commuter, since I have to drive a work truck for my job) It's not like I am going to trick it out with XTR components or anything. I want to make it a low maintenance bike that I can ride around to the store, the park and casual rides in town with my friends.

Or should I just get rid of it?

Thanks,

MS

ps. A few of my friends ride fixies and suggest that I make it a fixed. Im not so sure. Any input?

How much casual sex is too much casual sex?

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:55:04 -0800

I want a boyfriend. But, in the meantime, I could be having sex with people. Should I? I'm 25, male, and I really, really want a boyfriend. What I really want is exciting, running through the rain, surprise picnics, fireworks, making stupid things for each other, big arguments, big reconciliation, initials-on-trees, naïve, ridiculous teenage love. I haven't had a relationship like this that's ever lasted more than a few months. I try to make a lot of opportunities to meet people, and a couple of times I have met someone I really, really liked, but they didn't want a relationship with me. So I keep looking, and going out with guys, and seeing what happens.

I have ended up dating maybe one new person every two weeks or so. And usually it becomes clear that it's not going to work for one reason or another, and that's more or less that.

But, I've been single like this for years, pretty much. And sometimes, you know, a boy's got to do stuff. For a while I felt pretty uncomfortable about having sex with people if I couldn't see it working out into a relationship. But now, it's not quite that clear cut. I had a few one night stands and felt good about it, and now there's a guy I'm seeing every now and then, just for a cup of tea and some good sex. He's a nice enough guy, and the sex is really good, but I don't want a relationship with him, and I think it's really clear to both of us that that's all it is, and it's fine.

This seems OK, but there are a couple of things on my mind:

If I get experienced sexually outside of a loving relationship, might this take away from the thrill of sex with someone I really love? Could I end up developing a taste for a variety of men, and find it harder to be satisfied with monogamy?

Or on the contrary, should I be making the most of this to experiment sexually and make the most of the freedom, before I commit to one person in a relationship - kind of getting all this out of my system?

If I rack up a fair bit of experience, am I literally fucking up my chances of ever having a sweet, romantic relationship?

If this has ever been you thinking all this, I'd be really grateful to hear how it all ended up. Thanks!

Not whining.

pseudostrabismus — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:02:41 -0800

What's the best format for an extremely lightweight drinker to buy & store wine, to enable very gradual consumption without the wine going sour? I want to keep red wine in the house, but I never drink it fast enough to finish the bottle before it starts tasting weird. I might drink 1/2 a glass every other night or so, at which rate it takes over 2 weeks to finish a regular-sized bottle, and by then it's all vinagery. Bottles stored in the fridge last a little longer but then the wine's cold, which I don't like. Single serving bottles seem like a good solution (even so, those are 2-3 sevings for me, it's ridiculous) but there's only one brand available in my area, and it's kind of vile. Do those spray cans of gas work? Or freezing it? Or buying it in a box so it's airtight? Suggestions, especially cheap, easy solutions, greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I'm in it for the long haul this time around.

Sloop John B — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 10:23:21 -0800

A few years ago, I read about a dating service in NYC where potential mates got together for some sort of dinner or dinner party. At the time, there was a high ratio of women to men, because men who were looking for "the quick score" weren't interested in the service. Does anybody know the name of this service?

The 'One-Who-Got-Away' won't stay away!

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:38:49 -0800

Ex-Filter: How do I rebuff an old flame's friendship with being rude? (Longish) Backstory within... Last night my (now married) college boyfriend got in touch and said he wants to meet up and has 'lots of news'. I still hold a flame for him and don't really want to hear that he and his wife are pregnant or moving to the country or whatever but I don't know how to say it.

Backstory: I instigated the break-up ten years ago, because at the time I wanted to go exploring and he didn't and I knew we were moving in different directions, he took it very hard at the time but he understood and there was no acrimony. It was the right thing to do, but I never really stopped loving him (those college romances!). We've lived in different cities/countries since and over the years we've met up maybe once or twice a year and always had that spark but nothing happened, one or both of us was always seeing someone else. I wasn't the settling type then so my relationships never felt that serious or lasted much longer than a year. I guess really, in the the back of my mind I was waiting for him to be single again (doh!).

Cut to 2006, I hadn't heard from him for a while when he wrote to tell me he was getting married to the girlfriend he'd been seeing for a couple of years. I'd met her once before but had no idea it was headed that way. I didn't let on but it hit me very hard. Later that year I was visiting friends nearby. He invited me to meet up, I didn't know but his fiance was out of town. We stayed up talking most of the night and I ended up admitting I was gutted to realise it was finally over between us. He didn't say much, just hugged me for a time and seemed kind of sad. Nothing happened, we slept in separate rooms and I left in the morning. He later called me and apologised, but what was there to apologise for? I just said we'd moved on and that was it. They got married a few months later and I didn't contact him again. We move in very distant circles so it's easy to stay out of their way.

Last year I got a new job, moved to the capital and started dating again. The ex has since been in touch a few times asking to meet up when he's here for work but I've fobbed him off because although I'm genuinely happy for him, seeing him now unsettles me. I'm still hugely attracted to him and (probably because I'm available) I feel like I'm transgressing a boundary. How do I explain that I'm not comfortable meeting up now without coming off as a drama queen or acccusing him of something immoral?! I can't be sure of my motives, and I don't really understand his, maybe he does just want to hang out with someone dear to him and doesn't get why I don't. I think I'd rather we just left it in the past as a bunch of sweet memories and not see eachother til I'm in a better place relationship-wise and we can truly become friends rather than ex-lovers. I'm also not comfortable with the possibility that he may like hanging out with me because I represent a more intense, carefree time, which kind of negates where I am now.

Is it reasonable to say 'look, I'm good and happy and everything but not really adjusted to the you-being-married thing, can we give it another few years before attempting to be friends?'. Or should I stop being so neurotic, agree to meet, listen to his news with a big fake smile and just suck it up?

Any perspectives appreciated!

Help me find some swinging bachelorettes

orange swan — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:36:30 -0800

Since I seem to be hurtling towards old maidhood, I’d like enjoy the ride as much as possible. It irritates me that single women are so often portrayed as sadsacks just marking time until they can get married, or as being eaten up with bitterness and neuroses because they never found a man. So, I’m looking for positive role models and inspiration. What examples of fabulous freewheeling women can you think of in fiction, movies and real life? I’m looking for examples of completely non-pitiable women who spent most if not all of their adult lives living alone and who were so busy living and enjoying their lives that they forgot to notice that they forgot to get married. Kate Hepburn and Gloria Steinem would be examples of the kind of woman I’m looking for – they did both get married, but only for a couple of years each. The definining characteristic of these bachelorettes, of course, is not they eschew men completely, but that they are contented and even flourishing without any long-lasting relationship to one.

Everyone is having sex in the library, but me....

Anonymous — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 11:57:02 -0800

25 year old girl that hasn't had anything past a 2nd date in 6 years, what is wrong (if anything) with me? So I will try to give you some background in as few words as possible. I'm a 25 year old girl in grad school. I've only ever had one very short lived and intense relationship when I was 18. My ex was the only guy I've ever had sex with and because the majority of our short lived relationship was long distance, I've only had sex a few times.

Since then I've gone on a pretty large amount of first dates, a few second dates and really nothing past that. I hook up with guys maybe once or twice a year on average (although I admit it has been happening a lot lately, never sex just generally making out and little more sometimes).

I'm usually described as being cute and while I'm rarely the hottest girl in the room, I think I'm generally above average and that isn't really my issue.

I have a sort of unusual background and unusual interests, I've traveled everywhere, I'm really overeducated, my family is such a disaster that it's actually funny at this point. I’ve suffered from depression on and off my whole life, but I have it pretty under control now. I have a pretty extreme sense of humor and while this makes me a lot of friends, I don’t think it really attracts the guys. (the whole men want women with a sense of humor to laugh at their jokes, not make them laugh) I’m pretty smart and a really good debater, but these are also things I think are more valued in guys than girls. Although, I have to say some really hot lesbians have hit on me, so if anyone ever comes up with a pill to switch sexualities, I’m set.

I find myself relegated to the friend zone with a lot of the guys I meet. I used to have this self esteem issue where I assumed it was because I wasn’t pretty enough, etc etc, but now I realize that really isn’t the case at all. I tend to meet guys, befriend them and then they end up dating one of my friends. On the other end of the scale, I occasionally hook up with guys I meet at parties (generally I vaguely know them through a friend/school) and usually I will see them again, but generally it fizzles out pretty quickly. When I meet a guy these tend to be the only outcomes, the friendships never develop into more.

There are two guys who I have had intense friendships with that I can probably best describe as platonic relationships. The first was my roommate who was in a very unhappy long term, long distance relationship. And the second was an extremely promiscuous guy, who was in his late 20’s and had never had a relationship. I no longer talk to either, which I think is a good thing, but I’ve had this dynamic to a much lesser degree with other guys.

The guys that generally are interested in me for a relationship tend towards the very geeky/socially awkward. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet one that I was attracted to. I have tried with one guy this summer, who wasn’t my type, but who I thought I should give a chance because maybe my problem was that I was being too superficial. It had disastrous results (no idea what he was doing with women and didn’t understand the word no in bed). I don’t think he’s a bad guy, it was just really clear that he thought real life was like the movies and had no clue what he was doing. He then wouldn’t stop calling me for 2 months. So I think there does have to be some physical attraction. I have to say I’m not that picky, I’ve liked a wide range of guys, but I feel like I was the geeky/awkward girl in high school and now I’ve grown up and found myself and I would like to find someone that was the same more or less.

I've dabbled in internet dating on a variety of sites. I admit I've never gone more than a month on any site, but it would usually go that I would be flooded with messages from guys, I would then start messaging a few. Most of the promising ones would drop off quickly and I went on quite a few first dates that ranged from the guy being a total freak, to him being nice but boring to kind of cool with zero chemistry. Essentially none were even close.

So the question is: Am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Or do I really just need to accept that this is the reality for a lot of professional/smart women nowadays? Throwaway email account: 25mefigirl@gmail.com

Single man on the prowl

Brandon1600 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:17:03 -0800

Can anyone recommend a good lunchtime or after work bar in the Austin, Texas area? I am newly single again and I would like to use my lunch and after work hours to get back into circulation. If anyone could recommend a bar or place that the professional women go during their breaks or after work, I would greatly appreciate it.

Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 10:45:43 -0800

I am in my twenties, and I have given up on the idea of ever having sex again because I believe I am secretly too hideous for it. Let me explain. I have been single for years. Since I was last undressed with a man, in my late teens, I have had a mild skin disorder (on trunk, arms and legs) flare to the point of intense acne, spots and scars. It is genetic and can be smoothed and softened, but never cured. Rapid weight gain and loss has also stretch-marked me. I am an attractive woman when I am dressed. I do not think I could bear the disappointment and revulsion in the eyes of another person when they saw the rest of me.

I am not interested in casual sex, only relationships, but I can't see an attractive man without thinking: don't go close, don't say a word, it would all end in tears. I am furthermore not interested in being the sort of woman who settles for a smitten man who irritates her because he's a sure thing. I would rather be alone. I frankly like it -- my own schedule, my own place, my own cats. Being a young spinster is nice, but it won't last. Being 70 with no living family does not appeal to me so much.

So we come back to the horrible skin. Am I foolish for believing this is a deal-breaker? How do I avoid being treated with contempt, like a fat girl who's used and thrown away, her body a subject of jokes?

(To reply anonymously, email randomstringofnumbers@hushmail.com.)

How to ride a single speed on an indoor trainer

mizrachi — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 08:56:17 -0800

Can a single speed or track bicycle without a rear quick release skewer work on my minoura vfs fluid trainer? I'm afraid that without the skewer for the trainer to grip onto the bike would come flying off.

Care & Feeding of a Single Mother

divabat — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:58:28 -0800

Books and resources for a single mother who doesn't really fit the stereotype of "mother", and is more about taking care about herself? Any other way I can help her? I've been looking for books to give as gifts to my friend who's a single mum (the same one in this question). I'm having trouble finding books that aren't so typically "motherhood-is-the-great-joy-of-being-a-woman-YAY" or "here are a million tips for baby" though.

She was a mother by accident (unplanned) and is not with the father. She is doing OK so far but it has been very tough and right now she's trying to navigate career changes, lifestyle changes, stress, health issues, and so on. There's a lot of advice for the baby, but not so much for her sanity.

I'm looking for something that is more about the MOTHER - how she can take care of herself and navigate the difficulties of single-motherhood. The books on single motherhood I've seen assume that the baby is born from sperm donation, which isn't the case. While she and the father were never married, there is a tough custody case (long story). She tends to help everyone else first and take care of herself lsat (only when she REALLY needs to - and not even then).

What are some good books that will help her take care of her own needs? What other things can I do to help her? We live far away so things like babysitting aren't an option, but I'd like to help her out.

Thanks!

The ultimate "Why am I single?" thread

philosophistry — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:22:42 -0800

If you were single for a while and somehow got out of it, how did you? I've been single for 3 years and consider myself a good catch. For the first two years of that period, I wasn't actively looking. I'd go to clubs every now and then, and I'd also keep up-to-date with my female friends, but nothing every materialized on both fronts. In the past year, I've really pushed myself hard onto the dating scene. I've gone with the idea to accept almost any theory of dating. And yet, I'm not getting any real traction. A lot of good first dates, but no good second dates. The girls that like me, I don't like back. The girls I like, don't like me back.

I'm curious about stories of people getting out of a long dry spell of singledom, and what they think got them out of it.

Scratch my Bjork itch

foxy_hedgehog — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 03:07:25 -0800

Shameless fangirls and boys, or plain old online music experts: can you help me find this elusive B-side Bjork single online? I'm trying to find an mp3 of a Bjork single called "Charlene," which appears to have been the B-side of the "Isobel" single. The song is not a phantasm of my imagination (see Google), but Itunes doesn't have it, and the few sites that offer it for download seem to be a bit sketchy, spyware-wise. I'd appreciate any tips that might help me get my hot little hands and ears on it.

Please don't bother to tell me that my favorite post-human, Matthew Barney-loving, swan dress-clad loony chanteuse sux. But I might make exceptions if you can tell me where to find the song.

Prevent me from purchasing leopard print, before it's too late!

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:23:04 -0800

I think i'm turning into a cougar, and I need help. This past weekend, my few single girl friends and I went out to a club, got way too drunk, did things like 'get my armed signed by dude from a bachelor party', and ended up in my friends' condo at 3 oclock in the morning with four 23 year old 'dudes'. (They didn't leave till 11 the next morning.)

That fact that we're old enough to own real estate (30 years old) and yet ended up with drunken not-hot-or-smart-enough-to-justify-it 23 year olds (for not the first time) tells me that we are doing something very wrong with our lives; this has stopped seeming 'fun and crazy' and has started to feel kinda sad, especially now that we realise that we are probably actually being perceived as "older women" by the guys we pick up/get picked up by.

So, here's the question: to all the 30 year old single women out there, who aren't 'meeting men' through friends (because almost all your friends, and their friends, are married), and who don't want to stop going out, prevent the cougarness??? I can't beleive it, but i need lifestyle advice! I'm fairly attractive/well dressed/well educated and I did not see this happening to me.... Turning into a cougar is supposed to happen to other, more pathetic people.

Help me be my own best friend!

Madamina — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:25:48 -0800

I'm an extrovert who is turning into an introvert. How can I start liking the time I spend with myself? I've generally avoided time alone for the simple fact that I feel like I've had an awful lot of it. I grew up as (stop me if you've heard this one) an intelligent kid who had a very difficult time relating with peers -- I wanted to talk politics, they wanted Barbies. So I spent an awful lot of time reading, talking to adults, sitting in closets listening to the radio (oy), you name it -- lots and lots of time alone with my thoughts. This was also complicated by a lot of power struggles between me and my parents (okay, substitute "any authority figure" for "parents") and a latent case of ADHD, so even though *I* know I'm fabulous, I still have a fair amount of insecurity about myself and my thoughts. Overthinking and distraction, both near-constants, often lead to unnecessary anxiety.

Right now I find myself newly single (a good thing) but in the position of finally having everything in place to form my OWN life, for good and bad. I am always trying to find good friends, and it's been better recently than it has been in the past, but with the post-college era setting in there are a lot of moves away and not so many people filling in the holes left behind. My good friends are mainly online, while I have few "hang outable" friends here in town. Moreover, my ex was very stubborn and rather patronizing; trying to put together activities with him was like pulling teeth, and now I find myself just plain... tired. Tired of making a huge amount of effort for new friends, tired of hanging out with old friends that might not really have my best interests at heart. This does not suit my new relationship, nor any relationship I might have. I give people their independence, but I can be clingy because I can't think of anything better to do than just sit in someone else's presence. Sometimes this is comforting; other times, this is frustrating beyond belief.

So my problem is this: given that I can't stand time with my own thoughts, how can I learn to be more comfortable alone and enjoy the time I spend with myself? I know that being more comfortable with myself will greatly improve the healthy relationships I have with others. General ideas and specific activities are appreciated.

Tidbits:
--I enjoy the occasional splurge of retail therapy, and the same could be said for good food, but in both cases neither my waistline nor my purse find this a longterm solution.

--Yes, I am seeing a therapist. I'm getting better at recognizing anxiety-provoking distortions and managing them before they happen.

--I think the thing I hate the most about being by myself is that if I go to movies or concerts (for example), I hate not having someone to bounce conversation/reactions off of. HATE it.

--I suck at prioritizing boring things that are must-dos or "things that are good for you." Sunscreen, eating right, cleaning, you name it. I'm working on that too and am seeing a bit of success at work, at least. Overall, though, I do tend to be the kind of person who enjoys problem-solving and working for change.

You're not nobody until somebody loves you, but it sure is nice.

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 13:03:27 -0800

Help me help my 30 year-old friend get a date or something. So my friend of many years is kinda worrying me. She's never dated, or had a boyfriend. She says she'd like to have a boyfriend, but hell, I've never even seen her flirt.

She's a movie/entertainment buff, not hideous in the looks department, and not really into clubbing. Which is funny, because she can dance (and sing). She's definitely a homebody.

What activities and what not can I get her interested in so that she can be exposed to the possibility of men who might take an interest in her?

PS She's pretty dead-set against being set-up or online dating.

Meal planning on a tight budget

mistsandrain — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 06:15:45 -0800

Anyone care to share their monthly grocery budget and list? Headed into maternity leave, down to one income, living in DC... Times are getting ready to be tight. Tight meaning I'd like to see how far I can get on @ $200/ month for groceries as a starting point. The way I buy groceries/ plan meals has been fairly haphazard so I don't have a general pattern of expenditures to plan from.

We prefer a low meat/ no meat diet. Fish okay.

Thanks for any suggestions....

Single forever?

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 16:52:47 -0800

What do you do with your life if you never get married or have kids? I'm beginning to embrace this as a possibility in my life and would like to hear from people who have this situation as a reality, know of people in the situation or just have thoughts.

I'm a female in my early 20s, am not currently dating anyone and have no children. I always thought of marriage and family as a natural progression in life, but the high divorce rate and the marriages of relatives and people I know scare me a bit and now I don't see the whole marriage-family thing as something that is possible for everyone. I do know older women who have never been married or had kids.

I don't want to be in an unhappy marriage just to say that I'm married, like I see in my family and other relationships, where neither partner likes the other one and it's not uncommon for them to casually mention divorce "I should just divorce this man!"

So what can I do now to prepare for the possibility of a completely different life than, I guess, the type I had been thinking of?

Question number 63348

ask me please — Thu, 24 May 2007 14:05:36 -0800

I'm a single woman and have decided it's time to think about having a baby. What are my options? So I successfully used suggestions from my previous question and managed to solve that problem ;-) But I'm still single and need to start thinking about what I want to do if I don't meet someone that I could see myself in a lasting relationship with.

I definitely want to think seriously about having a child on my own. It's not something one does lightly, I realize that. However, my main concern would be how to get myself knocked up.

I'm not into tricking someone into fatherhood, so I think we can forget that option right now. I've looked into adoption, which I would LOVE to do, but in my country it's almost impossible. So what would be the simplest and easiest (honest, legal) options? I have no idea where to begin. All help appreciated.

Radioactive Mooses?

blue_beetle — Thu, 10 May 2007 09:18:20 -0800

pluralsfilter: Why don't we use words like "radiations"? It seems like a lot of words that have logical plurals don't ever get used in english. Radiations means essentially the same thing as emanations or emissions, but we don't use it the same way. Why is this? Where can I find more information about why we drop the pluralization on some many words?