I keep getting fired from jobs, and I think my poor social skills play a major role. I don't know how to change this pattern.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 10, 2012 -
29 answers
I used to be very shy. Through years of pushing myself (I'm 33 now), I've become pretty amazingly functional. But I find myself in an unexpected spot. While I very much want to be around people and I
can now handle it without freezing up, my experience of actually being around people is one of gritted teeth and willpower. There's very little joy in it. In theory, I'd like nothing more than a bushel of friends hanging out in my kitchen on a Sunday night. In practice, I push myself into social situations like dunking my arm in freezing water, pulling it out with a huge sigh of relief as soon as I let myself. That's not a recipe for forging new friendships, which I know take time and certain amount of vulnerability. What can I do to take myself to the next level -- from functional to genuinely friendly? Do people ever make it to the next level? On the phobia scale, it's not enough for me to be able to let a spider crawl on my arm without having a panic attack, I need to be able to lay down in a cave full of spiders and love it. (I've been in therapy for a year, but aside from that, I'd like to hear from you all.)
posted by anonymous
on Jun 7, 2012 -
21 answers
You are a man and you were once shy about sex, particularly about vocalizing your wants/needs. How did you come out of your shell?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 21, 2011 -
20 answers
I’m half introvert (don’t need to socialize every day; do like to escape and regroup after socializing) and half extrovert. My extroverted half can be extremely social, and even, on occasion, meet people really easily—and get them to like me.
But if I feel I don’t relate to people around me, or that they won’t get me, or that they are poor listeners and I’ll either have to fight for their attention or fight against their judgmentalism (on whatever subject), I get hideously self-conscious and tongue-tied. How can I change that?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 11, 2010 -
9 answers
I'm somewhat less than satisfied with my sex life. How do I talk to my girlfriend about this, without sounding critical or exacerbating her shyness (which is part of the problem)?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 5, 2010 -
18 answers
The lady I'm seeing is really shy in bed. What can I do to help her feel more comfortable?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 1, 2010 -
20 answers
Late start at dating, and I'm worried that I don't/can't express attraction on dates or around people I like. Halp!
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 18, 2009 -
8 answers
What steps did you take to find your partner in spite of social anxiety or severe shyness?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 2, 2009 -
33 answers
I"m still struggling with shyness and anxiety as an adult -- and I'm not for therapy. I think I can overcome, as I seem to have two personalities, it's a matter of making one of them stick. How can I just stay in the right one, and make the other one never come back (or limit how much it does)
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 7, 2009 -
8 answers
Long post about my struggle with friendlessness, shyness and borderline personality disorder inside. Short form: how does a shy, sensitive, friendless guy meet kind, like-minded people and build up a social support network, and should a borderline avoid seeking a partner altogether?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 10, 2009 -
19 answers
I initiated our hang-out; he enthusiastically responded. The evening started with great conversation and mutual interest-- and then the energy seemed to weirdly wane as the evening went on. To be fair, we had a grueling evening. What now?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 21, 2008 -
22 answers
This one is for the extroverts. As someone who has struggled with social anxiety/shyness to varying degrees my entire life, I'm very curious to know what your inner dialogue is like?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 19, 2008 -
32 answers
I would like to be more, er, assertive in bed, but I'm too shy. How can I get past this? Is there a good self-help book on the subject? Is there anything you've personally tried that worked for you?
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 16, 2008 -
19 answers
I am a 38-year-old man who has many good qualities (I hope so at least) but two drawbacks which understandably be dealbreakers for most women - I am impotent and I have a small penis (around 4 inches on the rare occasions it is erect), so even if my impotence got treated I am not sure I could satisfy a women. On the other hand, I have heard that it's possible to have satisfactory sex life with a 3 inch penis, but have no idea how that can be. So basically I am what would be a figure of ridicule for many other men, and not exactly a strong candidate to be a boyfriend for most women either.
However I know some women while still heterosexual may not want a sexual partner e.g. they may be celibate for whatever reason. And there may even be women who will overlook a sex life without penetrative sex for the right person. I have just come out of a four-year relationship which had lots of affection and companionship but not strong feelings of passion and obviously no sex, but I eventually want another relationship again and believe I have a lot of love to give the right person. How can I find her?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 23, 2008 -
38 answers
Do people with under-developed social skills know that their skills need work? If so, how?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 14, 2008 -
23 answers
Is there a way to tell clients I want them to communicate with me through email instead of the phone that doesn't make me sound weird?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 31, 2007 -
39 answers
Late-bloomer-filter: I was a painfully shy, geeky, withdrawn guy with almost no friends and no social life. Over the past few years (I'm 28 now), I went to therapy, got a new job, moved from my sleepy suburban town to New York, got tons of people-practice, made new friends... and then this year, it all suddenly and magically clicked. It's unreal, but instead of nights alone with my laptop, I'm out almost constantly with tons of friends, hanging out, going on dates, drinking, dancing, and generally having more fun than I ever believed was possible for me. But I need your advice before I create a monster.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 2, 2006 -
22 answers
I'd like to be nicer to people. I'm generally anxious, socially awkward, and don't enunciate very well. I have trouble with spontaneous conversation and small talk, and get flustered by clumsy social encounters. As a result I've developed a reputation as aloof and unapproachable. What can I do to be a more pleasant person?
posted by anonymous
on Dec 19, 2004 -
48 answers
How can you overcome pee shyness in public urnials? As in, stepping to the plate, but being unable to pee until the bathroom is empty?
posted by anonymous
on Oct 29, 2004 -
28 answers
