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What makes someone unattractive?

I'm a young woman without much luck in romantic relationships. I think I may have a problem with my behavior and body language because I'm introverted and I'd like to understand it and maybe gain some control over it. [more inside]
posted by poilkj on Jul 11, 2014 - 28 answers

How can social skills be improved? Or can they?

I am currently 21 years of age (female). Growing up I didn't have too many friends and always felt intensely awkward and shy. I've grown past some of those feelings as I've gotten older and feel like I understand a lot more about how to have friendships and how to relate to people now, but I don't feel like I understand as much as I should. I really want to be more social and be better at relating with others so I keep putting myself in social situations but I'm not sure that I'm improving all that much. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 30, 2014 - 11 answers

I just can't talk to people, and I'm so depressed.

9.5/10 times, I struggle with talking to people, even my own friends and family. Even my own parents sometimes. As a result my life is a life of constant pain and loneliness, even when I am with my friends and family. I can't hold conversations because my mind is too blank to start one or add anything other than "yeah, uh-huh" to a preexisting conversation. Talking to people one on one is a constant nightmare because I am incapable of holding up my part of the conversation or starting one. As a result, I always feel very uncomfortable around one on one conversations and always fear being caught in one. [more inside]
posted by ggp88 on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

I want to sing!

I'm desperately shy about my singing. I really want to be able to sing in front of other people. When I'm alone, I have a versatile, powerful, emotive voice. In front of humans, or even when I hit the record button, my voice breaks up, drops to a whisper and becomes atonal. I hate this. Even singing happy birthday with other people makes me crazy. I love to sing, and I'm envious of people who can do it so comfortable in front of others. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Mar 31, 2014 - 14 answers

Why do I keep running into this type of guy?

I like nerdy, introverted men but they don't seem to (often) like nerdy, introverted women like me. Most of the guys who ask me out and stick around have nothing in common with me. Why? [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Feb 3, 2014 - 30 answers

Guys: Is nervousness in a girl always a turn-off?

Sometimes I just feel so awkward when I meet a seemingly eligible, nice guy. I feel certain that it is obvious that I am nervous and then I start feeling self-conscious about my nervousness. I feel like there is a stereotype of the sort of sweetly nervous, somewhat awkward nice guy that girls may like because his sweet, nice, nervousness means he is a nice guy who likes you. Does this go the other way at all? [more inside]
posted by thesnowyslaps on Feb 2, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I deal with passive insults?

I always run into these types of people at work and life. Hopefully someone can understand what I mean. [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Dec 24, 2013 - 30 answers

How do I learn to enjoy talking about myself more?

A while ago, I joined Meta specifically to ask this question. Well, I am happy to announce I am another AskMeta success story! Following a large amount of advice I received, I was more specific about my wants and needs and to cut a very long story short, my boyfriend proposed on my birthday a couple of weeks ago! I'm thrilled! The boy did good. He agreed he needed a kick up the bum and I really owe that to you guys! This brings me to my question, I am extraordinarily uncomfortable talking about myself for extended periods of time and being the centre of attention. [more inside]
posted by JenThePro on Nov 15, 2013 - 15 answers

how can an introvert infiltrate a tight-knit group of super-socializers?

my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

Hey, Extroverts!

This is a question for the extroverts, the popular, those who play well with others and the possessors of good people skills. What do you know about meeting people, making friends and relationships (both platonic and romantic) that others might not? [more inside]
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Aug 9, 2013 - 37 answers

shy person dating

Can you help an unexperienced, shy person figure out if I'm doing this dating thing right? [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Jul 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Traveling the Sherlock Way

I have the first week of June to travel, now in need of suggestions as to a place that might fit my strange requirements. [more inside]
posted by tooloudinhere on May 15, 2013 - 10 answers

Which kitten should we adopt?

We are thinking of adding another cat to our household, and need help choosing the right one - shy or outgoing? [more inside]
posted by tr0ubley on Feb 24, 2013 - 14 answers

The one I like isn't the one it will probably work out with.

I'm a woman, 20s. I'm talking to two women - A and B. A has everything I want on paper, and there's a spark there... but there's more of a spark with B, who has next to nothing I want on paper. Is it a bad idea to pick B? [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 23, 2013 - 18 answers

Help me beat the post-graduation blues...

Lots of life changes: graduated from college, different relationship, became a freelancer all in the last year. Feeling aimless, nostalgic, and in need of some perspective. [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Jan 9, 2013 - 10 answers

What's the etiquette on having friends visit when you're coughing?

Social-Awkwardness filter: I'm a formerly shy person who's recently been getting out there and making friends. I've been sick for the past week. A few people have asked to come over/hang out despite this. I want to know what the etiquette is when you have a persistent cough that borders on retching. Do the people who try to hang out anyway really not care or are they just being polite? Am I going to alienate people by rejecting their multiple attempts to see me? I don't understand why they wouldn't just end up being disgusted by me constantly coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose and being a sick person. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 7, 2013 - 27 answers

Improve my social skills with points, levels, and prizes

Do you have suggestions/recommendations for games and/or desensitization practices with the objective of improving social skills? Shyness and/or introversion filter. [more inside]
posted by Dances with sock puppets on Nov 30, 2012 - 8 answers

how do i integrate myself into a brand new friend group?

how do i integrate myself into a brand new friend group? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Nov 5, 2012 - 17 answers

Is a homemade gift a good way to show a guy I'm interested?

I like a guy. I don't know how he feels about me. Would it be weird to make him a gift? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2012 - 35 answers

Help a shy girl recruit a wingwoman

How to make a best friend in university [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Oct 22, 2012 - 19 answers

Awkward + shy + no date

Help a shy girl socialize at a wedding where she knows nobody [more inside]
posted by manicure12 on Oct 20, 2012 - 21 answers

Thirteen was miserable for everyone, right?

How do I help my son get through middle school? [more inside]
posted by bluemoonegg on Sep 2, 2012 - 28 answers

talking to strangers waaaahaa

Studying abroad for a semester. I'm rather shy, so any advice for getting out of my shell and making the most of my time in a foreign country? [more inside]
posted by myntu on Aug 24, 2012 - 9 answers

A perfect storm of complications: acting on a crush on a shy coworker

Despite all advice to the contrary, I'm trying to get to know my shy coworker crush better -- have I made a hash of it? Or does it sound like I'm doing okay? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2012 - 36 answers

How do I overcome my lack of relationship experience?

I'm a normal, well-adjusted, heterosexual, 30 year old male. And I'm a virgin. How do I get past this? [more inside]
posted by ann on a mouse on Jul 23, 2012 - 58 answers

Another ambiguous friendship problem, involving 2 shy snowflakes

Two shy snowflakes romance question. Need ideas for pushing the boundaries of our ambiguous friendship. [more inside]
posted by JeanDupont on Jul 15, 2012 - 7 answers

Guys: He froze up in front of me, but does he have a girlfriend?

Guys: He froze up in front of me, but does he have a girlfriend? [more inside]
posted by fan_of_all_things_small on Jun 1, 2012 - 30 answers

how to get close to a shy guy

Tips for getting to know an introverted, smart guy better? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Apr 12, 2012 - 6 answers

Me : Extrovert. She : Introvert. Can this relationship survive? Should it?

Me : Extrovert. She : Introvert. Can this relationship survive? Should it? [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on Mar 28, 2012 - 67 answers

Want roommate divorce from my very own personal Eeyore.

My socially awkward roommate/friend is hampering my social life. I don't know how to kindly set boundaries without really hurting him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2012 - 16 answers

how to tell if a shy guy likes you?

how can you tell if a sort of shy guy is into you? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Mar 18, 2012 - 30 answers

Gal Seeks Friends in Seattle

Looking for the friendliest coffee houses in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by kestralwing on Jan 3, 2012 - 14 answers

Can someone act rude out of awkwardness?

Went out to see a movie with a friend, and his behavior confused me tremendously. [more inside]
posted by 01080591 on Dec 20, 2011 - 32 answers

Would you prefer I start shouting?

Others describe me as "quiet". Is there something wrong with how I interact with others? [more inside]
posted by wansac on Dec 7, 2011 - 37 answers

Herding cats during termite treatment?

Upon the discovery of several live termites attempting to set up shop in my garage wall, I called in a local pest-control company. Following inspection, said company recommended treating the dirt under the garage slab with fipronil (aka Termidor). I have four indoor cats and a fish, and while the termite guys say the fish can stay, they're recommending moving the cats out of the house for the three hours it will take to apply the stuff. Is this really necessary? If so, where the heck can I take four fairly skittish cats for three hours? [more inside]
posted by aecorwin on Aug 29, 2011 - 10 answers

How can I be a better teacher to these kinds of students?

Were you one of these archetypal students? How did your teachers help you self regulate, control impulses, and overall become more self-aware? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Aug 1, 2011 - 27 answers

My girlfriend is quiet

I'm chatty. She is quiet. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by pauldonato on Jun 26, 2011 - 47 answers

Can a reserved, somewhat shy person be a good therapist?

For much of my life I dealt with rather severe depression and anxiety, which I've recently overcome with nearly 3 years of therapy. I'm 24 years old, trying to find a meaningful career that's more than just a paycheck. At this point, all I want to do is be a therapist. I want to help others the way that I've been helped. However, another issue I've been working to overcome is crippling social anxiety. It's gotten much better; I hardly consider myself shy anymore. Still, though, I'm not sure if I have the warm, trust-inspiring personality a therapist should have. Could I be a successful therapist if I'm far quieter and more reserved than the norm? I do love people and want to help, but sometimes I might not come across that way. Can a shy person be a good therapist?
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2011 - 16 answers

How to Drink in Davenport

I know virtually nothing of bars. How do I know which bar to visit that would be a good fit for me? [more inside]
posted by Green With You on May 21, 2011 - 10 answers

Puppy love

Will getting a dog help me be less of an introvert? [more inside]
posted by bendy on Apr 17, 2011 - 31 answers

Dating/socializing 101 for introverts

An introvert in an extrovert's world - Teach a perennial shy guy how to navigate dating and relationships [more inside]
posted by photo guy on Feb 10, 2011 - 23 answers

Can I help him anymore than I already have?

My partner is shy AND introverted. I'm suddenly finding myself terrified by thought of spending the rest of my life with the person I know and love because I'm tired of being the "entertainer." I'm exhausted. More inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2011 - 37 answers

I'm speechless

Logistics of a license-less carless introvert ending a 20 year marriage: I don't know where to start with my preparation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2010 - 17 answers

How easy do I or do I not have it as a woman in the dating world?

All right. How difficult is it for women to flirt with men *really*? I often hear that just smiling at a dude is good enough, but how true is that? What tactics have been successful for you, ladies? What is it you gentlemen out there wish a woman would (reasonably) do in a social situation? I've read the SIRC guide to flirting, but I'm looking for some real world anecdotes to supplement that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2010 - 38 answers

How do I at least get a date with a shy guy when I am shy and full of self-doubt?

I like shy boys and grumpy boys. I am shy. How to approach? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 2, 2010 - 24 answers

I'm a fool

Hey, I got a really stupid problem. I really really want to play in a band, but I never have and don't know if I'd make a fool of myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2010 - 12 answers

Need hotter sex plz kthx!

I'm somewhat less than satisfied with my sex life. How do I talk to my girlfriend about this, without sounding critical or exacerbating her shyness (which is part of the problem)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2010 - 18 answers

mmhmmm

How do I ask my partner to be more subtle/modest/attentive? [more inside]
posted by whalebreath on Jan 26, 2010 - 22 answers

How do I get this kitten's inner tiger to come out and play?

The lady I'm seeing is really shy in bed. What can I do to help her feel more comfortable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 1, 2010 - 20 answers

How can I converse in large groups?

Help me carry on conversations in groups with my *special snowflake* situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2009 - 21 answers

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