Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with sexualhealth

What's this lump and how can I fix it without health insurance?

Anonymous — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 10:10:27 -0800

LadyFilter: I found a lump where there should not be a lump. (And it's not on my breast.) I do not have health insurance. What to do? A couple of days ago, I felt a lump toward the rear of my vaginal opening, on one side. (I feel it less from inside my vagina, more like "next to".) It's maybe a bit larger than grape-sized, and as far as I can tell, it hasn't changed sizes since I first noticed it. It definitely was not there a few days before. It doesn't hurt, though it's a little uncomfortable if I prod at it or think about it all the time (which I pretty much do, of course).

1. What could it be? It seems like it could be consistent with the location of a Bartholin cyst, but it's just my worried googling that's led me in that direction. Of course, my head is also filled with terrifying ideas like "hernia!" and "prolapse!" How likely are those things? And are there other things I could bite my nails over?

2. Are there things I can do that could potentially solve my problem without having to see a doctor? I suppose I'll have to see a doctor if the lump doesn't go away or get smaller within a few days (or maybe sooner?), but if there's something I could do for a couple of days to possibly help things along on their own, that would be my ideal.

3. Any advice about where I can see a doctor at minimal or no cost in Seattle, if need be? I am presently unemployed and uninsured, and already ruined my credit once before when I had the nerve to get meningitis without insurance a couple of years ago.

I'm in my late twenties. I did recently begin having sex with a new partner, but only twice so far, and we were very good about condom usage. All STD tests prior to this one partner have come up clean, so I very much doubt that's the issue. (Also, I would prefer to get this taken care of in a manner that allows me to continue having sex with this new partner, with a minimum of embarrassment!)

Depression and Sexual Health

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:23:53 -0800

Question about men's sexual health and medications for depression I am a 28 year old male with a professional job. I am very physically fit. I run 15 miles a week, plus sports, plus regular weight lifting. I have sex with my girlfriend one, two or three times a day on average. I also suffer from depression. The depression is not so bad that I want to stay in bed all day or harm myself, but it completely fucks with my head, my emotions, my motivation, my outlook on life, and generally how I value my life.

So I have gone to the general medicine doc and gotten meds for it. I was first given Zoloft. I felt absolutely great! I felt bolts of euphoric optimism running through my blood. But I lost 90% of my sex drive and had difficulty having an orgasm. I only made it 3 months on Zoloft.

So next I tried Wellbutrin. It probably worked 55% on the mental health side with no negative side effects. This was a functional solution for about 9 months or so. The stuff quit working. I go back to the doc. He gives me Cymbalta. This basically has all the same features for me as Zoloft. It works great on the mental stuff but destroys my sex life.

At this point in my life I value my sexual health more than my mental health. Or so I feel that way when I am on the pills. Then it gets so bad and I have to take them again.

Ok, so I guess my questions are:

Are there any other meds that any of you can recommend that my be helpful? I ask specifically because I always feel like I am making the suggestions or driving the discussion with the doc. Yes I have switched docs already.

If I get these side effects from one SSRI does this mean that I am likely to get these effects from all of them? (I.e is something like Prozac potentially helpful)

Is there any permanent risk to my sexual health from having to take these drugs periodically?

In looking back at my questions, I guess I can see that these are more of questions that should be directed towards a medical professional, but I guess I am just looking for any suggestions to help prepare for the conversation at the doc's office again. I would just like to find a way to be content and sexually healthy.

Thanks for any insights you can offer.

meta1999@hotmail.com

How best to overcome impotence?

Jake Apathy — Thu, 31 May 2007 23:14:34 -0800

How best to overcome impotence? I feel really horrible about myself right now. So, I just had a sexual experience with a girl that I'm dating, and I was unable to 'get it up.' Naturally, I feel horrible and kind of worthless.

There are the short term fears - what if she never wants to be sexual with me again? What if she tells her (our) friends about this?

But there are also the longer-term fears. The last two times I've tried to have sex, this has happened to me. The last time I tried (and failed) was a year and a half ago. The last time I successfully had sex was over two years ago. What if this impotence is a permanent thing?

Are medicines like viagra worthwhile? Can psychologists help? How can I find one that will be helpful?

Also, is there any way I can salvage my (casual) relationship with this woman? I really like her alot, and would hate to lose her because of this.

More graphic details -

I'm very skilled at giving head. Tonight, I was able to bring the woman to climax, which was awesome. So, I know that she enjoyed herself. Still, I wasn't able to get it up, and I'm afraid that will ruin our dynamic. I blamed the problem on condoms, which was partially true - condoms make it hard for me to keep an erection. However, I do definitely have a problem.

When I'm by myself, I have no trouble maintaining an erection and coming. However, being naked with another person makes it difficult for me to maintain an erection. I know that I'm not gay or anything, because all my fantasies are about women. However, most of my fantasies are of a BDSM nature, and I've kind of given up on finding a partner for BDSM activities since I'm a sub male and dominant females are hard to find. In the past, I've been able to think about my fantasies while having sex, and that's helped me keep my erection. However, that isn't working for me anymore.

Also, I should mention that I was abused as a child. Mentally and physically, and also sexually to some degree. I know that I should see a psychologist, but I have a terrible time with psychologists - I haven't been able to find a good one in my city, and I've tried multiple times. It seems like most of them need psychologists themselves.

Anyway, what I'm thinking I should do is get some viagra or something in the short term, and then somehow find a psychologist who can help me through this mess.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Good books about female sexual health and body issues?

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 07:03:03 -0800

What are some good books or other materials for a woman to learn about female sexual health and how to love her body? She grew up in a country with no sex education and knows very little about STDs, yeast infections etc. She also has negative feelings about her genitals - that they are ugly, smelly, and dirty. All suggestions welcomed, but a direct and straightforward writing style would be especially good.

Clinics in London?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 10:02:27 -0800

Sexual health clinic options for a tourist in London? I just arrived, but need to be seen soon for something hopefully benign, but annoying and painful. Plus, if its not benign, I dont want to let it go for the length of my trip. I see there are sexual health clinics, which I assume are like planned parenthood in the states? Will they see a tourist? I understand I can just go to a hospital for a nominal fee, but feel strange going to an "emergency room" for something that is not an emergency.

Help me solve my sexual problem.

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 15:52:41 -0800

I am a man with a sexual problem. It's probably the opposite of what you think. Details inside, NSFW or kids. My problem: I take too long to ejaculate.

I've been with several women and done a lot of different things, but I've never been able to finish off unless I did it myself. Don't think we gave up too easily, as we've gone until we were too tired to do any more, sometimes for over an hour.

I've always had a good time and often felt like I was close to coming, but have never been able to let it go. As far as general health goes, I'm not at all sick, have never had trouble masturbating or getting or maintaining an erection, and take no pills.

On the girls' side: None, honestly, were super-hot babes, but I was attracted to them, and one of them has been my girlfriend for several years (though we've only recently become sexually active). As you can imagine, most of my partners have had fun, but always were a little disappointed they couldn't finish the job. FWIW, I've never had intercourse, but have done a good bit otherwise.

So here's the question: What do I do? I'm not looking for "You'll wish you could do that when you're older" type stuff -- I'm sure I will, but right now, that's not what I want. I don't think it's a mental block, but it could be, especially once it's happened enough times to make me think it's a problem. I'll appreciate any ideas, mental or physical, that might help.

Minor consent law (age?) for STD treatment in Oregon?

tristeza — Mon, 09 Aug 2004 16:26:25 -0800

Minor consent law (age?) for STD treatment in Oregon? I have found the statute in the Revised statutes of OR (109.610) that indicates a “minor” can seek STD treatment w/o parental consent, but they don’t define minor and to my knowledge most states allow children as young as 12 to access STD treatment without parental consent.

Can someone who actually has experience with this let me know, a) what is the actual age of non-parental consent for STD treatment and b) what does OR say about the medical provider’s need to maintain confidentiality of info? Can they spill the beans on a kid to their folks?

So help me, I’ve been Googling for 2 hours on this, and I just need an expert. Thankyew.