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pressures to be attractive - men vs. women

My husband believes that men are just as pressured to be attractive with the same consequences socially if they aren't attractive. I think the pressures on women are MUCH higher (and much more unattainable), and that the social fallout is much larger if a woman isn't attractive and following the social norms of attractiveness. Who is right? And if I am right, help me explain this to my husband. [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Jul 30, 2014 - 65 answers

50 Shades of Street Harassment

My question is primarily about how best to deal with street harassment with the caveat that just ignoring it is not my preferable solution. [more inside]
posted by frizzle on Jul 16, 2014 - 52 answers

Reporting a WA State trucker for making obscene, sexist gestures?

While driving with my young children in the car, the white male driver of a large WA State semi truck suddenly pulled up alongside my car on a WA state road, honked his horn, and made obscene, sexist gestures that simulated cunnilingus, directed at me (I'm a woman). Right in front of my kids. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 24 answers

Colleagues make sexist comments out of female earshot. What do I do?

I am a feminist, and many (not all) of my colleagues routinely make sexist comments. They know I am not okay with this, and instead of holding back, they now often do it even more blatantly, partly to get a rise out of me. I'm something of a beginner feminist so I don't know what to do. Tips please? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2014 - 32 answers

Feminist basics for dads?

I'd like to get some recommendations on the basics of feminism, especially as it might relate to things a dad can do to help his daughters prepare for and deal with sexism in society and also do his part in understanding the world and making it a better place for women (and by extension all people). [more inside]
posted by Reverend John on Dec 21, 2013 - 33 answers

How to best deal with a despised close friend of my SO?

For reasons that I find entirely justifiable, I despise one of my significant other's closest friends. Until recently, we have gotten along, and although he treats his girlfriend terribly and frequently complains about their relationship to my SO and me, I thought he was just unhappy in his relationship, and dismissed it. Recent events have brought to light that, not only does he dislike me deep down, it appears he genuinely thinks of women in general as nothing more than inconsequential beasts with breasts that somehow continue to exists despite their obvious stupidity and inability to do anything of value. Obviously this revelation makes me a little uncomfortable with the idea of he and my SO cavorting about together without me being around to deter the "I hate women" diatribe. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Dec 19, 2013 - 32 answers

After decades of it, I think I've had my fill. Too bad for me, eh?

How do I learn to better cope with the cumulative effects of sexual harassment? I feel like at some point I used to know how to keep it from getting under my skin, but not so much anymore. I sense a deep resentment building in my core, and I need your guidance/coping skills, please. [more inside]
posted by heyho on Nov 4, 2013 - 36 answers

I came here to learn about the body, not your sexism and politics

I have a professor who constantly makes sexist comments and drops right-wing political commentary into a class where it's totally irrelevant, and I'm not the only one in class who notices. I am documenting instances of these behaviors to report to school higher-ups. What's the best way to frame my complaints, make sure they're seen by the right person, and maybe get some classmates on board with me? Examples and snowflakes below. [more inside]
posted by ActionPopulated on Aug 7, 2013 - 46 answers

Anyone else have a sexist mom?

Looking for recommended feminist reading as well as personal anecdotes towards helpful dialogue with Mom, and to examine and deal with the crazy, effed up, sexist ideas with which I was raised and may have accepted as normal and true. [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing on Jun 27, 2013 - 32 answers

Watered Down Sexism?

Ordered one drink, received - what I consider - a more 'feminine' version of said drink. Something to complain further about? [more inside]
posted by Suffocating Kitty on Jun 6, 2013 - 56 answers

Help me come up with a sassy quip in response to people's sexism.

I work in a small shop in a male dominated trade. I am 26 but read younger (by up to 10 years if you have a weird idea of how teenagers look) small, blonde, and need to dress casually (jeans and a tshirt and sneakers) due to the nature of my work. Customer's ask me on a near-daily basis if I'm my boss's daughter. I hate this, I feel it undermines my value as an employee who has worked hard to be in the position I'm in. I'd like to think of a response that makes them feel like a ninny for one second, without offending customers. [more inside]
posted by euphoria066 on May 17, 2013 - 47 answers

How did women come to be regarded as inferior in society?

Why/how did this idea actually start? [more inside]
posted by metacognition on Apr 23, 2013 - 29 answers

Help! I'm living in a "Family Guy" episode.

My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 181 answers

I want some male comedian bits... on gender

Dave Chappelle. Chris Rock. Louis C.K. Some of the funniest male comics are the least funny when it comes to gender -- incisive humor suddenly deteriorates into sexist tropes and gender war cliches. Are there any male stand-up comedians who have interesting routines about women?
posted by spamandkimchi on Mar 9, 2013 - 8 answers

How to stage a Privilege Intervention

I have a friend who has a long history of saying hurtful things based on stereotypes to his friends. I want to gather his friends and stage an intervention. How to go about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

Give me ammo for the next sexist conversation

I work with a group of colleagues that I get along well with, mainly male. However, certain subjects come up, my Sexism Klaxon starts going off... but any comments I make always get batted down with "chill out we're only joking" or something similar. Can you give me tips to not always come out of these conversations either seething with frustration or feeling like the Grand Ruiner Of Conversations? [more inside]
posted by greenish on Jan 25, 2013 - 89 answers

How to properly cope with the discrimination and bullying in many of my classes?

Conflicted upon how to deal with bullying and discrimination (of various kinds) I am experiencing in my classes this semester. [more inside]
posted by pixienat on Nov 22, 2012 - 17 answers

Does it, actually, make it easier to dust?

What advice used to be commonly accepted, but is now widely viewed as sexist? [more inside]
posted by karminai on Nov 14, 2012 - 57 answers

Tooth Fairytale

How can a male (myself) defray the risk involved in entering a career (dental assistant) dominated by the opposite sex? [more inside]
posted by gorgor_balabala on Nov 12, 2012 - 10 answers

Wait, I'll take the blue pill!

Within the last year, I've come to consider myself a feminist. I haven't felt this impassioned by anything in a long time. But my new perspective doesn't mesh well with coworkers and friends, and I'm constantly aware of things that never used to bother me. How can I cope with the frustration? [more inside]
posted by ista on Oct 30, 2012 - 30 answers

Other stories that could tie in to Pussy Riot

Contemporary Russian punk, protest, artistic, and musical climates in re: Pussy Riot detainment. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Aug 4, 2012 - 3 answers

How do I respond when people insult themselves while complimenting me?

How do I respond when people insult themselves while complimenting me? Especially, when those insults are race related. [more inside]
posted by DorothySmith on Jun 27, 2012 - 52 answers

How 'bout I pay for your wedding if you sucker your friends into giving me money?

My father asked me to use my social networks to get my friends to use his business. When I balked, he tried telling me that if I did, he'd pay for my wedding with the money. Am I right to be offended? And what do I do? [more inside]
posted by corb on Jun 19, 2012 - 31 answers

Help me find a specific article/quote about sexism in the movie industry!

I recently read an article that contained a quote from someone in the movie industry about how it isn't currently worthwhile, or a priority, to make movies for a female audience/from a female perspective/ something along those lines. I have tried to find the associated article, but searching "movie industry women sexism" isn't very successful. I think I may have read the article at Jezebel. I may have even found it here. But I totally can't find it now. Help!
posted by windykites on Jun 10, 2012 - 4 answers

Help and angsty feminist parent talk with the school and her daughter.

My daughter has repeatedly brought home books from the school library that I have a problem with. I'm a feminist and I'm anti-censorship. I'm lost. [more inside]
posted by taff on Jun 6, 2012 - 146 answers

Feminism 101

Feminism 101: I had a visceral reaction to a link a friend of mine posted and I was too enraged to clearly address his ignorance. [more inside]
posted by MaryDellamorte on Apr 23, 2012 - 53 answers

Webcomics about minority groups

Please recommend regularly-updated webcomics that are largely about the experience of a minority group. [more inside]
posted by painquale on Mar 7, 2012 - 5 answers

Applied Feminism 101

This political campaign season has brought it to my attention that sexism is alive and well in America. Instead of sitting around with my blood boiling, what can I do? [more inside]
posted by ootandaboot on Mar 1, 2012 - 16 answers

Help me undermine assumptions about women in STEM jobs

I need a tactful but clear way to correct stereotype-based assumptions about my abilities. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2012 - 39 answers

I want feminist post-apocalypse stories

Are the Walking Dead comics as sexist as the show? I love post-apocalyptic literature. I hate sexism. [more inside]
posted by Mavri on Nov 20, 2011 - 32 answers

Fantasy novels without the sexism = are they only a myth?

Bookfilter: looking for fantasy novels without the entrenched sexism. An impossible task? There are plenty of fantasy stories in which the woman proves herself equal to the men, but that's not what I'm looking for. I want a setting in which that proof simply isn't necessary. [more inside]
posted by marginaliana on Oct 18, 2011 - 79 answers

Looking for race/sex statistics for reality TV shows.

Looking for race/sex statistics for reality TV shows. [more inside]
posted by Meatbomb on Aug 31, 2011 - 12 answers

Only my grandfather gets to call me young lady and I am not your honey.

How do you confront sexism constructively? Without damaging friendships, relationships with coworkers, or coming off patronizing? [more inside]
posted by whoaali on Aug 20, 2011 - 25 answers

Is the sexism displayed on the TV show Mad Men even close to accurate? Played up? Toned down even?

Is the sexism displayed on the TV show Mad Men even close to accurate? Played up? Toned down even? [more inside]
posted by Senor Cardgage on Aug 14, 2011 - 77 answers

What's the what on terminology around "sexism?"

A question of terminology: "sexism" and the "prejudice plus power" definition. [more inside]
posted by Harvey Jerkwater on Jul 29, 2011 - 24 answers

I'm at a loss for words, darling...

Occasionally, my boyfriend makes remarks about womankind that I find sexist and hurtful. Last night, I called him out on such a remark. Was I overreacting? How should I handle this the next time it happens? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2011 - 100 answers

How to help a girl who is being made to feel uncomfortable at work?

This afternoon, a girl at work confided in me that a male colleague of ours has been making her feel uncomfortable. I want to help her, but I find myself questioning my own motives. I don't want to be one of "those" guys... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2011 - 36 answers

There's a women's right movement, how come there's no MEN'S rights movement?!

I am looking for articles that address the backlash against feminism in the age of the internet. [more inside]
posted by windbox on Apr 3, 2011 - 11 answers

How should I react to low-level sexism from a fellow grad student?

One of the other graduate students in my lab occasionally makes comments that I feel are sexist - just barely so, but sexist nonetheless. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2011 - 63 answers

If she were a man and not a woman, this wouldn't be cool at all

It's kind of uncomfortable at times, being a female professional in a male-dominated work environment where most of the female employees are on the other side of the business-coin as support staff (less education and pay). Was yesterday's incident somewhat sexist or am I being an educational elitist? [more inside]
posted by lizbunny on Dec 15, 2010 - 69 answers

It's a Satchel, Like a Purse, But Not

YANAL: What is the legality of not allowing a man to carry a bag into a South Dakota movie theater? [more inside]
posted by 47triple2 on Nov 28, 2010 - 30 answers

Princesses to the rescue?

Fairy tales for girls? [more inside]
posted by BadMiker on Nov 3, 2010 - 38 answers

Hey guys...um...girls...um...gals...um...humans...

Is it possible to not be a sexist? [more inside]
posted by Knigel on Sep 26, 2010 - 29 answers

He wasn't trying to hurt me, but is this a clue of inconsiderate attitudes?

Seeing a guy who's a little socially awkward. He hasn't initiated any physical affection, and tonight he revealed that he said something disparaging about me to a mutual friend. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2010 - 37 answers

How do I stick up for my beliefs and not be a member of the PC police?

How do I stick up for my beliefs while not being a member of the PC police? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Jul 24, 2010 - 25 answers

Actually, my daughter is quite energetic and physically active. Thanks.

Any thoughts on how to politely ask people not to say sexist things around my child and/or deflect those statements? [more inside]
posted by miss tea on Jul 23, 2010 - 44 answers

This is not the right side of the bed.

What are some good strategies for fixing things when you started out on slightly bad terms? [more inside]
posted by pseudostrabismus on May 31, 2010 - 19 answers

Men and girls

Is it acceptable and PC to refer to grown-up women as girls in this context? Does it say something about the person who does it? [more inside]
posted by sively on Apr 28, 2010 - 87 answers

Is it him? Or is it me?

Am I lunching with the new office creep? Or am I just letting my dislike get in the way. Either way how do I extricate myself from this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2010 - 19 answers

Everyone's a little bit racist and sexist and classist and... you get the idea

Help me fight my own prejudices. [more inside]
posted by tantivy on Apr 12, 2010 - 20 answers

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