My husband is suffering the sexual doldrums of early middle age. Unfortunately, it's a catch-22: you have to be motivated to seek help...but when your sex drive is that low, you really don't care. How can I help him even want to have sex again? [more inside]
I have some sexual limits or preferences that I've been told are pretty weird. Both male and female friends have told me that they are really weird (I am female). But it's just the way I am and it's not going to change. I have been having dating problems because of it. I need some advice on the best way to tell men about my limits, and the best way to find that rare person who would be fine with them. [more inside]
Early-30s straight guy here. Shy with women, by no means a social butterfly (social moth?), so have little sexual experience - I lost my virginity relatively late and have only had a handful of very brief relationships and one-night stands since. I'd like to have some casual sex as a way of gaining confidence and learning the ropes (oh, and for fun), but haven't had any success finding it so far. Ideas? [more inside]
I'm kinky, but only sometimes. He's kinky, all the time, and more so than me. He also displays a focus on certain specific sex acts that I find worrying and is interfering with our sex life - not the things we do, but the things it seems he has to do to come or be happy. How do we deal with this? What do these desires of his mean? And if I'm not into the things he has to do, does it mean he's not into me? (Insecurities abound) [more inside]
I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
My question is disgusting and primarily about my butt. Details below. [more inside]
How do I persuade my long-term partner to do what I need about half the time? He is not, I repeat not, a good American progressive who's been through therapy. He loves me and wants to satisfy me, but is not a willing participant in the "hey, let's have an open discussion" approach. What are some alternative tactics? [more inside]
Roomies' religious convictions are colliding with my lifestyle. They're saying no sex in the house, period. They want overnight guests to sleep in a separate room. I really need the house. How do I manage this? [more inside]
I'm getting back into dating after a long hiatus and I realized I have no idea how to protect myself from STDs without seeming like a crazy, overly-cautious prude. Help! [more inside]
I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
I know the basics, but how can I find out more detail about my personal STI risk so that I can make informed decisions? [more inside]
I am worried a recent decision I made caused psychological damage to my libido. What are my options for recovery (if needed)? [more inside]
The woman I'm dating has HPV. What now? [more inside]
"Men want sex" and "women want romance" -- so the stereotypes go. To what extent does the average woman believe (or not believe) in these stereotypes? Does anyone know if there is research on this? I've been searching for hours, but haven't turned up anything yet.
Hi all-- I am a female writer with a high sex drive. With most of my moods, I have figured out how to use the energy of anger or sadness or whatever to write something borne from it. But when I'm feeling horny, I really don't know what to do with it, aside from write about sex, and I want to be able to do more than that. This may sound like a silly inquiry, but I'm wondering if other artistic sorts have dealt with it.
I am starting a casual relationship/FWB situation. Previously, I'd only had sex in a relationship or a one night stand. What should I be thinking about ahead of time? What are some guidelines/general expectations that you've used in this situation? [more inside]
Sex and social life is all screwy. FWB, hookups, extreme libido - need help! [more inside]
I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me. It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
So, a few years ago I bought a set of cock rings, and I seem to have lost two of them! Can you help me find me a similar set? [more inside]
Should I try to fix our sex life? If so, where do I start? [more inside]
Very excited about a new guy I'm seeing. We were getting hot & heavy and he admitted to having performance anxiety issues, that he would like to go slow, and just needs to get comfortable with me. What can I do to ease his mind... & body? Slightly NSFW. [more inside]
What would cause my vagina to suddenly be tighter? I've been sexually active since I was 19, and I'm 31 now. In the last 2 years I've suddenly gotten comments from multiple partners about how tight I am. In particular, a porn star I was dating, who obviously has seen his fair share of vaginas, tells me mine is the tightest he's ever felt. Aside from this being a totally awesome sexual superpower I seem to have developed, what could have happened? The only thing I can think of is that before these two years, I had a dry spell of about a year. I know that can tighten things up. But I've been having a decent amount of sex in the last two years - at least 1-2 times a month usually, with the exception of the three months of dating the porn star (cause, well, dating a porn star). Apparently I'm still as tight as ever. Wouldn't that tightening that resulted from the dry spell have loosened up again by now? What's going on with my lady bits?
Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat? [more inside]
I desperately need help resuscitating my sex drive. Embarrassing, painful wall of text inside. [more inside]
We're pregnant! But we're on the fence about finding out the baby's sex. Parents: what did you decide? Did you regret your decision or love it? [more inside]
How do I decide whether this relationship is worth staying and working on or leaving and working on myself? [more inside]
Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk?
Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk? [more inside]
Horny Old Man Filter: Tips for ensuring that my straight dude's libido ages gracefully. [more inside]
I'm looking for practical suggestions on finding casual sex in the context of an open relationship. [more inside]
Does confidence really make a difference when it comes to attraction? If so, I'd like to generate enough in time for New Year's. [more inside]
Looking for recommendations for a sex therapist on the SF Peninsula. [more inside]
What can I do to prevent my wrist from hurting when I'm stimulating myself during sex? [more inside]
Sometimes when I have a sexual thought, I can literally feel a buzz, a reaction in my brain just above the ears on both sides of my head, almost an electrical feeling, usually in two short pulses. What is this? Do you experience it? More details inside. [more inside]
Very specific question about sex after childbirth. [more inside]
Denizens of Metafilter, I need your best sex-ed materials. For a 16 year-old young man. [more inside]
For christmas, I'd like to be able to make my girlfriend orgasm, and would appreciate some help. [more inside]
The guy I'm dating has no problems maintaining an erection during oral sex, but once we start to have vaginal sex, he loses his erection almost instantly. We've never talked about it or acknowledged it, and I don't know how to talk to him about it. [more inside]
I've recently been through some major life changes and find myself feeling strong romantic feelings for an old friend, former co-worker. I fear acting on my feelings because I don't want to jeopardize our platonic friendship which, at my age (65) is precious. I worry that even talking about my change in feelings for this woman might ruin our friendship. I'm not certain that she has reciprocal feelings for me, although I think she might. We are very compatible in most regards, intellectually, shared interests and activities, etc. And the friendship just as it is is rare and cherished. Should I 'confess' and risk what we have, or accept it for what it is and look elsewhere for the intimacy I seek? As might be obvioius, I have limited experience in physical (sexual) and emotionally-close relationships.
On herpes and forgiveness. Nine months into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that he has HSV-2. That was almost a year ago. It still bothers me. What now? [more inside]
I can't seem to get "excited" with thoughts (or bikini pics) of my long distance girlfriend. I am far too young to have issues with this in a general sense and I don't. I can still get turned on by other things, and videos and what not (you get the point). We haven't met yet but we will be meeting in the relative future and something sexual might happen, and probably will. [more inside]
I have extreme negative reactions to witnessing public displays of affection (PDA) or overhearing sex (e.g. anger, disgust, heart racing, crying). I get that I need therapy, but what kind should I be looking for? [more inside]
Ladies -- have you ever gone on a casual sex spree? How did it work out? [more inside]
Random thought/Someone must have made this question: Anyone know of an online site that allows you to map out areas on a (3D or 2D) human model as "hot" or "cold"? I'm thinking of something that would allow people to map out their erogenous zones as they know them or discover them. [more inside]
Advice for dating as a 27 year old virgin? [more inside]
Recommend me some seriously good romance/erotic romance fiction? [more inside]
I'm dating someone new who is 38 and considers herself to be more or less a virgin. She's nervous about sex but also pretty interested. How can I make this ok for her? Total NSFW oversharing below... [more inside]
How do I deal with my new boyfriend's low sex drive? [more inside]
Need help moving on with a difficult break-up and resolving related anxieties. Snowflakey details inside.
This is a big ask: help me find out how to healthily move on, be comfortable with myself and have an inkling of ambition. I've had a little trouble moving on from this one relationship, and I think some perspective would be nice. It is also related to various anxieties I have now. Snowflakey details inside. Sound advice deeply, deeply appreciated. [more inside]
When and how do you decide it’s ok for an opposite sex to sleep with your adolescent / young adult at your house?
Unsure When and how do you decide it’s ok for an opposite sex to sleep with your adolescent / young adult at your house? [more inside]
A few months ago during pillow talk, I gave my husband permission to have sex with me while I was asleep. Last night he did it, and I felt far more violated than I expected. How should I deal with these feelings of resentment and regret, given that I gave him prior consent? (Possible TW.) [more inside]