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Sexsomnia, anyone?

Hi everyone, last night I found out my boyfriend of ~5 months occasionally sleep... sexes? What happened was, last night, several times, he seemed to awake after falling asleep before me, when I moved or got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and say '(my name), I want to lick your pussy' then go right back to sleep. Eventually, he starting touching me in places, and I got turned on, and we ended up having sex. After, he said, 'that was great, but how did it happen?' So, no recollection - he basically woke up inside of me, according to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 31 answers

For crying out loud, where's my libido?

I have a problem. I am a 39-year old woman whose libido declined over a couple of months when I was 33. I can't seem to get it back. I need help thinking outside the box. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 12 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend about my ex who is dying?

My boyfriend (lets call him Mike) does not know about my ex boyfriend's existence (Lee). I found out his brother died a couple of months ago, and now he has the same disease and may or may not survive as well. I am quite upset about this, should I tell Mike about him or just keep it to myself? [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Oct 29, 2013 - 30 answers

Can I learn to cope with possibly permanent lack of a sex and love life?

I'm a straight guy, late thirties. I have little sexual experience and have never been in a romantic relationship, for reasons of social anxiety and body image which I won't get into here. It's coming to seem possible that this will never change, and that thought is extremely painful to me. How can I learn to live with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2013 - 35 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

We are "on a break". How long should it last?

My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2013 - 40 answers

How to reasonably evaluate risk after a broken condom

I am a woman on hormonal birth control and in a mostly monogamous relationship with a guy. My boyfriend recently had sex with a woman who's been having unprotected sex with multiple partners, and the condom broke (pregnancy is not a concern). What's a reasonable course of action from here? [more inside]
posted by serelliya on Oct 17, 2013 - 10 answers

How can I revive my sex life with my girlfriend?

My girlfriend and I have lived together for about a year and a half. We're a solid couple, we love each other a lot and generally communicate well, but our formerly awesome sex life is just non-existent now. We've talked about it, but she's just withdrawn and apologetic whenever I try to initiate things. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2013 - 28 answers

Sex Info Books and probably therapist needed.

Trying to find resources to help female with a large knowledge gap and issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2013 - 9 answers

My Job As A Sex Worker and British Naturalisation

I am an American national with indefinite leave to remain in the UK and have been here since 2005. I am registered self employed as a dominatrix - yes they seem to have a category for this at Inland Revenue - and it seems that in order to naturalise as a British citizen, I will need to send the Home Office a statement of accounts with my application! So there's no hiding it (not that I would want to). My question is - will being an out sex worker make them pause at granting me citizenship, because of the good character requirement?
posted by Mistress on Oct 13, 2013 - 3 answers

Some questions about adderall.

I recently started on adderall for ADD-type issues, and I've got some questions about the effects it's having. I intend to bring them up with my psychiatrist when I see him next, but that won't be for a few weeks and I think it would still be valuable to get some outside perspective, especially from people with first-hand experience. A lot of this has to do with sexuality. Questions and details within. A bit long-winded. [more inside]
posted by Scientist on Oct 11, 2013 - 14 answers

He loves blowjobs, I'm disgusted by them ... How do we resolve this?

My SO wants blowjobs, to the extent that this issue may be a deal-breaker for him. I'm repulsed by the very thought of giving or receiving oral. Am I a total weirdo? Is there a strategy I can use to suppress my visceral reactions? Are we doomed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2013 - 45 answers

I'm a woman. What do I do while on the bottom during sex with a man?

What do I do on the bottom during sex with my boyfriend? [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Oct 9, 2013 - 16 answers

Looking for couples friendly see clubs in Manhattan

Vacation in The Big Apple... Where can two sexually adventurous people find fun? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2013 - 3 answers

Was I sexually violated?

Was I sexually violated? I keep obsessing about this, I don't know if the other parties care or have declared me a pariah [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Oct 6, 2013 - 42 answers

Green, green, my heart is green...

What causes the weird possessiveness/jealousy experienced by many people when you fall in love? [more inside]
posted by Phalene on Oct 3, 2013 - 18 answers

What sexual positions will not irritate a hernia?

My (male) partner has an inguinal hernia. It was repaired with mesh 3 years ago, but is bothering him again. He has a surgical consult soon. In the meantime, what sexual positions could we employ that would alleviate the stress? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 1 answer

(NSFW) Easy sex positions for my wife and I

My wife can't spread her legs do to her disability. I can just about get my head between her legs with lots of stretching to eat her out but thats about it. [more inside]
posted by snow_mac on Sep 17, 2013 - 15 answers

sex and rhythm [nsfw]

I'm in a new relationship with a guy. We've started having sex, and when he gets really close to orgasming, I lose the rhythm somehow, and he can't come. Help. [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Sep 15, 2013 - 19 answers

Do you really *want* to know how you are bad in bed?

My ex girlfriend and I are back together again and things are better this time. Except for the sex. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Sep 15, 2013 - 12 answers

Need sex advice: Possible to learn to enjoy dominance/submission?

New to MeFi, so sorry if this is an odd post... I just started dating a guy - let's call him Michael - who has noted several times that he likes to be a little aggressive in the sack (and although we have not yet had sex, this became clear when we made out/fooled around recently... he was pretty man-handly/dominating, did a little dirty talking, etc.). I have next to no experience in even very mild dominance/submission stuff and honestly have never had any interest in it. I can be a good sport and do a little dirty-talking if it's going to make someone's day, but it has always felt too contrived for me to enjoy it for my own sake. And I've never tried anything beyond that. That said, I really like Michael, am very sexually attracted to him, would hate to end things with him prematurely because of an unexplored difference in our sexual styles, and, frankly, couldn't help but feel a little lame/boring/conservative if I put an end to it for that reason. So, my question: as someone who isn't naturally inclined to be interested in dominance/submission, is there a chance I could learn to like it, or is it pretty much something you like or don't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2013 - 29 answers

Madame Thistlethwaite's Chastisement Academy and Corset-Parlour

A side conversation in this otherwise serious thread is about how Victorian sexuality was actually pretty extensive. And now I'm interested in learning more. You know, for research. [more inside]
posted by Apropos of Something on Sep 9, 2013 - 11 answers

Lets get it on, or get it off!

I’m going for a “One final attempt to straighten things out” about our sex life. Ineed a few lines to take and thought to hold on to so that I don’t come across as aggressive or needy or at least not slightly responsible... [more inside]
posted by krisb1701d on Sep 5, 2013 - 16 answers

Passive-aggressive note from downstairs neighbor. How to react?

Visiting a lover for the next week. Got a passive-aggressive note from the downstairs neighbors regarding our noise levels. We really want to respond in the next 2 hours, before we go out for dinner and get back tonight - what should we say to them? Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2013 - 62 answers

How to find NSA not-sex?

Please help with ideas for a straight 30-year-old guy to find NSA sex that isn't actually sex. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

What are the chances of pregnancy using both methods of contraception?

I am now in a committed relationship with a woman, and both of us are virgins. We have discussed at length our desires, concerns, dislikes, and fears about sex, and we are both horrified of an accidental pregnancy. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 28, 2013 - 39 answers

Need sexy-but-scientific items to watch "in bed"

Can you recommend some sexy-but-scientific things to watch to get us in the NSFW mood? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2013 - 13 answers

When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not?

I have been seeing this guy since December about once or twice a month, and am possibly on the verge of having feelings. Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Aug 13, 2013 - 9 answers

What should I put in my daughter's going-off-to-college survival kit

My daughter leaves for college in a couple of weeks. This MeFi post reminded me that I need to follow through on my plan to give her a survial kit. What should go in it in addition to condoms and lube? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2013 - 74 answers

Birth control options for sad ladies

New relationship, long history of depression, looking for birth control advice. [more inside]
posted by terretu on Aug 9, 2013 - 17 answers

How do I communicate what I want when I'm not even sure what that is?

Dating again. I guess. Is this dating? [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Aug 8, 2013 - 24 answers

I have herpes. I want to have casual sex. How can I make this work?

I find myself at a time in my life when I would really like to have lots of casual sex. However, I have genital herpes. I know I need to disclose this to potential partners, and I know how to do that. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to improve my ability to find potential partners who will not turn me down on the basis of my STD status. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2013 - 12 answers

What is it like to have sex for the first time? Advice?

As someone with Asperger's Syndrome and that doesn't socialize much, I know virtually nothing about relationships and sex, and I never really believed that I would experience either of those. But I have finally met someone I connect with and we both want to have sex! [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 4, 2013 - 20 answers

truth/data backing up my intuition on gender marketing & music?

I'm about to ask a—perhaps sexist—question about the possible differences in how men and women—broadly speaking—identify with songs in marketing. But first, some set-up. As a branding exercise, I've been working on tackling a fictitious start-up consisting of two fashion retailer brands. One's a men's brand, and one's a women's brand, both part of the same fictitious umbrella corporation. When fleshing out the details of any brand, I like to immerse myself in the environment of that brand as much as possible, approaching it almost like a method actor approaches a role. Part of this process for me is usually creating a playlist of music I identify as feeling right for that brand. Songs I can imagine playing in the store itself. I noticed my thought process behind selecting tracks for the menswear and womenswear brands were entirely different, and I'm wondering if there's any underlying truth or data to support my intuitions. [more inside]
posted by ferdinandcc on Aug 2, 2013 - 16 answers

Staying sane while facing an insane thing

I am in therapy trying to deal with childhood sexual abuse. I am having a hard time keeping my adult life together and not feeling insane. How do I learn to calm down and keep going instead of wanting to cry every day? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jul 28, 2013 - 28 answers

When will the "Male Birth Control Pill" or "Male IUD" be a reality?

Realistically speaking, how long will it be until a male version of The Pill or The IUD is available in the US and approved by all the necessary government/health organizations?
posted by evil otto on Jul 25, 2013 - 10 answers

Getting back on the horse (I am the horse)

How to and should I date the emotionally wounded? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2013 - 38 answers

A children's book about gender change

The book I'm looking for is one I remember reading in my childhood. It had a boy as a protagonist. It was similar to The Wizard of Oz in that the boy was travelling with friends through a magical realm to free it from some kind of oppressive rule. And when the boy arrived to the happy ending (which I think took place in the royal palace) it was revealed that actually he's not a boy - he's a girl. A princess, to be exact. And a rightful ruler of the realm. Which came as quite a shock to him/her. I must have been less than 10 years old when I read it, which places the book in the 1970s. Did I imagine it or does it really exist? (it is possible that I mixed it up with The Wizard of Oz, although I think I've read it later).
posted by hat_eater on Jul 11, 2013 - 7 answers

Did gnostics tolerate or celebrate homosexuality?

I have heard rumor that the early Christian gnostics may have tolerated or even celebrated homosexuality. Does that seem probably to you? Is there any evidence for this in ancient sources? Does gay sex seem compatible with their thinking generally? Are there any books or articles on this topic?
posted by mortaddams on Jul 1, 2013 - 8 answers

Putting the bun IN the oven isn't so easy

He says he's on board with making babies, but can't wrap his brain around actually doing it. More inside. [more inside]
posted by coolsara on Jun 29, 2013 - 28 answers

Now that I'm a mother I'm not sure how to be kinky anymore.

How do I bring my sexy back now that I've had a kid? Complications abound. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2013 - 23 answers

Porn Addiction and ED

I just found out that my boyfriend's erectile dysfunction stems from an addiction to porn. What now? [more inside]
posted by BecquerelReindeer on Jun 24, 2013 - 55 answers

Lust, Spirituality, and Religion

Why is lust, pornography, masturbation and unregulated sexuality (i.e., sleeping around) seen as an unfavorable thing for many (if not most) of the world's various philosophies and religions? [more inside]
posted by The ____ of Justice on Jun 23, 2013 - 34 answers

Wow, that's... a lot of moaning.

My upstairs neighbors have, within the last week, begun having extremely noisy sex directly above my living room in the middle of the day. [more inside]
posted by baby beluga on Jun 21, 2013 - 29 answers

Wheelchair - is it important in JUST SEX relationship?

So, this guy i know for 8 months and i started kinda heavy flirting 2 months ago. We both want casual sexual relationship, i told him bluntly and he is type of guy who does only sex thing.... He thinks i am hot, i think he;s hot blah blah.... he is always asking me to go to his place or somewhere to be alone but i always say 'no' bc....well, our situation is complicated so i am affraid to say yes even tho i want it sooooooooo much... [more inside]
posted by Jasna88 on Jun 19, 2013 - 22 answers

Want to enjoy sex but am turned off by myself

I don't have a low sex drive, but I rarely want to have sex. Or rather, I WANT to have sex but I don't want to be me while I'm doing it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2013 - 22 answers

It's almost more like acquantances with benefits?

How should I talk to a friend I slept with about what the hell is going on? [more inside]
posted by OrangeDrink on Jun 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Me want porn

I’m looking for a specific type of porn/erotica. Not sure how to describe it, maybe “primitive” or “tribal”? [more inside]
posted by sock puppy on Jun 15, 2013 - 25 answers

Don't want to send my kid sister to jail...

My sister told me about some pretty disturbing and illegal things that she is doing. She clearly needs some kind of help or intervention, but I have no idea how to go about doing that without putting her in jail. I feel totally lost and conflicted. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2013 - 44 answers

Should I ask a woman if a child is mine?

Short story: I was visiting family in a nearby city when I noticed a young boy who looked alarmingly like my daughter and me. After seeing him with his mother, I recognized her as someone I had briefly been intimate with, but when I made eye contact, her reaction made me feel uncomfortable. Knowing she has not reached out, should I respect her privacy? [more inside]
posted by Bathtub Bobsled on Jun 11, 2013 - 80 answers

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