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How do I resolve a neighbor/noise issue?

My newish neighbors keep complaining about the level of noise coming from my apartment, but I'm not being loud. How do I handle this? Sensitive details in the explanation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2014 - 24 answers

Recommend some body paint for the fun times?

Partner and I are interested in painting each other's bodies as a prelude to Other Stuff. Getting non-crappy body paint has turned out to be a surprisingly hard thing, though. Everything we've ordered from Amazon has been really unsexily crappy, and often nasty-smelling. Does anyone have a specific recommendation? Should we just go to an art store and buy some acrylic, and then take a shower afterwards?
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2014 - 8 answers

I'm never horny.

Early twenties female, healthy, reasonably happy, who simply doesn't have any sex drive. What am I doing wrong? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 9, 2014 - 21 answers

I'm getting married and would like to have intercourse

I'm getting married in a week, after dating for 9 years. My fiancé and I have a good sex life, but we've never had penetrative sex. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2014 - 46 answers

I Want You to Want Me

Is this some sort of mid-life crisis, a hormone thing, or both? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 12 answers

How to have an orgasm?

I'm female, twenty-six, haven't orgasmed, and want to. Suggestions? (NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2014 - 12 answers

How can I both cure my depression and get my sex drive back?

I used to like all kinds of funky sex. Since depression came into my life a few years ago, I've been far, far less sexual. In the last few months, I can't even find the will to masturbate let alone allow my beloved to penetrate me or otherwise enjoy sexual activity with me. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I also want to get back to embodying the sexual being I used to be. How? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2014 - 10 answers

How to break it off with someone you've seen, uh, once

Let's say you go on a date with someone. The date goes well, you go back to their place. Things happen...SEX things. You realize afterward that it may have been a mistake. Yeah, definitely a mistake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Girth & vagina pain.

Repeatedly bleeding after penetrative sex, yes we use so much lube, any advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2014 - 25 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

What's most the most intense thing inside a French letter?

What's the best lubricant to go inside a condom to increase sensation for a man? Difficulty level: SSRI side-effects. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 2 answers

Spontaneous Female Arousal

I'm curious to know what's going on with my body. I'm enjoying very high sex drive the last 6 months, ever since my 7th month of pregnancy. I thought it was a third trimester thing, but I wanted my husband 5 days postpartum. So what's going on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2014 - 6 answers

Where do the butterflies go?

Core attraction: does it go away? Looking to hear from people who have been in a relationship for 15+ years. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2014 - 16 answers

I Love My Dog, But Oh! You Wife!

How can I return the spontaneity to my sex life now that I have to share the bed with a blanket-hogging dog? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2014 - 28 answers

Don't try so hard, but don't NOT try either!

I have trouble achieving orgasm, but it doesn't really bother me. However, apparently it bothers other people a whole lot. How can I explain all this in a way that will make sense to others? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2014 - 11 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

Can't stay hard with a condom, help?

I'm a straight male without much sexual experience. I've been seeing a new girl recently and things have gotten sexual. We have good chemistry in and out of bed, are comfortable around each other and attracted to each other's bodies. But I've encountered a problem: when I try to penetrate her with a condom, I can't maintain an erection. Without a condom I don't have this problem, but condomless sex is not a good option. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2014 - 38 answers

How to temper arousal?

Gentlemen of Metafilter: When you're hooking up, how do you temper the physical manifestation of your sexual arousal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2014 - 26 answers

When no sex feels like I am not desirable

I need help. I am seeking therapy for this issue, but it will take about six weeks before I can get in. My partner (m 36) and I (f 34) are not having sex. It has been about four months. He is dealing with depression and anxiety issues and is on medication for this. This has been pretty hard for me since we greatly enjoyed such an active sex life prior to this. He attributes our sexual issues to his diagnosis and medication. In my head I believe what he tells me, but this is triggering past issues for me that are getting in the way of me believing what he says. The fact that he masturbates at least once a day is hard for me to handle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2014 - 30 answers

Not the front porch kind...

A friend is considering dipping her toes into her local swinger scene. Help me offer non-judgmental help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2014 - 12 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

afraid to confront husband about sex life

My husband (I'm female) and I have been going through a really tough time (infertility at a young age), and we've been working together to reframe our lives together and as a couple. We've been discussing what's working and what's not. He seems very dedicated to building a future together, despite his lack of follow through on issues we talked about, including sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2014 - 23 answers

Good Nevada brothel for couples?

I'm a straight man, wife is bi. Married over a decade, but have had some fun group sex experiences together in the past. However sexy single females ("unicorns") are hard to come by so we're looking at a Vegas trip for some naughty fun. Need information. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2014 - 1 answer

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

My sex drive plummeted after my BF moved in. WTF?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years, and he recently moved into my duplex with me. Now that we're living together, I just don't feel sexy or like I'm wanting sexytimes. :( It's very distressing, and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2014 - 8 answers

Please give me birth control advice - AFTER condoms.

My partner and I have decided to use two layers of birth control. Her doctor said it was a good idea, because condoms have a small failure rate even when used perfectly. However, she doesn't want her parents to know (she's 20) and is on their health insurance, and she has a family friend that works at planned parenthood. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2014 - 35 answers

Feels like I'm 15 again

I'm in my early thirties, bisexual/queer and just ended a decade-long relationship with a cisgendered man. I'm starting to date women but haven't had sex with a woman in a decade and didn't have a lot of experience even then. I have always been a visible part of the LGBT community and most people assume I'm a lesbian, which makes people think I have more sexual experience with women than I do. I'm basically nervous about not knowing what to do anymore and being bad in bed. Questions are as follows: Should I disclose this lack of recent experience to the women I'm starting to casually date and have sex with? How can I stop being so nervous, which I know won't help? And: what does real-life lesbian safer sex look like when you're an adult and not a 23 year old with no sense of risk?
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2014 - 8 answers

The Thin Line Between Preference and Prejudice

I think I don't like performing oral sex on my girlfriend anymore because she's gained a bit of weight. What do I do here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2014 - 45 answers

Multiple orgasms for men, experience?

I've read The Multi-Orgasmic Man. I find Eastern, energy-based philosophy hard to grasp, because moving energy throughout the body is very much experiential and intangible. It's not not like learning physical movements (sports, martial arts, etc.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2014 - 8 answers

ain't 2 proud 2 beg

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We are both mid-thirties; have discussed marriage and kids and are on the same page;we live together; and things are great. Except for one thing - I initiate sex most of the time and want it more. I know the next part is not right, but, me initiating things all of the time makes me feel bad. I know it is a stereotype to expect men to be wanting to have sex more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 9 answers

My girlfriend and I both have HSV1. What risks are we looking at?

My girlfriend has HSV1 genitally, with outbreaks 1-2 times a year. I just found out from my doctor that I tested positive for HSV1 back when I first became sexually active in 2005 (not sure why I wasn't informed back then, but I suppose that's a different story...). I've never had symptoms, I imagine it's an oral infection from childhood and I'm getting a full STI screening to reconfirm. What does this mean in terms of risks or lack thereof with my girlfriend? Can HSV1 reinfect different locations? Are there different strains of HSV1? Up to now, we've been using protection for penetrative intercourse, changing condoms when switching from vaginal to anal intercourse, and basically avoiding oral-vaginal contact. My doctor was relatively vague when it came to these questions ("I think you would be at lower risk.") and I'd like a bit more information upon which to base my future decisions given this new information.
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2014 - 3 answers

Sex: you're doing it wrong.

I really could use advice on how to improve our sex life (NSFW and snowflakes) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2014 - 27 answers

Relationship Meetings: good idea or bad idea or terrible awful idea?

I have scheduled a relationship check-in with my long-term partner (a State of the Union, as per Pervocracy) only now I'm worried that it's just going to make things worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 5, 2014 - 30 answers

Which antidepressants gave you the least sexual side effects?

I've had issues with an SSRI and SNRI having orgasms - would like your advice about potential other drugs. Wellbutrin not possible (gave me high blood pressure) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2014 - 23 answers

You're not my doctor or a magician but... should I take plan B?

I had drunk but protected sex last night. (yay!) I haven't had sex since I had an abortion 2 years ago. (not so yay!) I am also dealing with secondary amenorrhea due to diet. I know I'm being insanely nervous for no reason but now just to be safe I want to take Plan B. Is this ok? Will it make the Amenorrhea "worse"? Is that even possible? So. many. things. calm me down? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2014 - 10 answers

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”

Met a great guy that I fell in love with just when I thought I never would again! Now how do I tell him I've never had an orgasm with him, that I want to do something about it, and that I was faking the ones I "did have" for the first half of our relationship? Sordid details inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2014 - 17 answers

Help a gal penetrate her guy!

I'm a hetero female. My boyfriend wants to experiment with anal penetration (for him). I'm definitely up for it (hooray for new sexy fun times!), but have zero experience in that area. We have been playing around with low key/shallow/tentative anal penetration with fingers, and he DEFINITELY likes that, but he'd like to up the ante with toys and deeper penetration. Where to begin? What are your fave toys? Any anal-specific hygiene/safety things we need to be aware of? Other things we need to know before embarking on this adventure? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2014 - 12 answers

How do you play with butts?

I am a straight male with a NSFW sex question under the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2014 - 21 answers

Anorgasmia and Antidepressants

I am having unpleasant sexual side effects from my antidepressant. I am wondering what my options are. I am a 28 year old male. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 11 answers

How can I match my girlfriend in X-rated talk?

Ladies, please help an out-of-practice man talk dirty to a new girlfriend who wants to be more verbal in bed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2013 - 22 answers

Good (free) resources for overcoming sexual/emotional abuse?

How to heal after living with a sex addict? I am looking for good sources of personal empowerment concerning sexuality (female) and possibly examples of men who actually love deeply and see sex as an expression of love as well as passion...any leads? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2013 - 10 answers

Oral sex-iprocity?

My boyfriend has forgotten I exist in the bedroom. How can I go about initiating a chat about this and finding a solution before my sexual self-esteem completely disappears? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2013 - 20 answers

Help me give my first blowjob.

I'm a gal in my late 20s and I've never given a blowie before. Give me some tips on how to try it out without embarrassing myself too badly. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2013 - 28 answers

Back to school with Fs in sex and social life.

I just started an intense school program and I have very little sex drive or social drive. This is frustrating for my boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2013 - 8 answers

Am I a Donna Juanita?

How real is porn/sex addiction? And is it different for women? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2013 - 32 answers

Need help finding a doctor to talk about PrEP.

I'm a 35-year-old, gay male (in Silicon Valley) who is looking to jump back into the dating pool after a long absence. A bit after reading this post on Truvada for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) I thought I might be a candidate for it. I talked to my primary care doctor and although he though it as worth looking into, he didn't have any experience with Truvada and referred me to an infectious disease specialist. Unfortunately my experience with the specialist wasn't great; I felt like he dismissed the idea of PrEP almost out of hand and without really discussing my concerns or possible HIV risk factors. ... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Sexsomnia, anyone?

Hi everyone, last night I found out my boyfriend of ~5 months occasionally sleep... sexes? What happened was, last night, several times, he seemed to awake after falling asleep before me, when I moved or got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and say '(my name), I want to lick your pussy' then go right back to sleep. Eventually, he starting touching me in places, and I got turned on, and we ended up having sex. After, he said, 'that was great, but how did it happen?' So, no recollection - he basically woke up inside of me, according to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 31 answers

For crying out loud, where's my libido?

I have a problem. I am a 39-year old woman whose libido declined over a couple of months when I was 33. I can't seem to get it back. I need help thinking outside the box. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 12 answers

Can I learn to cope with possibly permanent lack of a sex and love life?

I'm a straight guy, late thirties. I have little sexual experience and have never been in a romantic relationship, for reasons of social anxiety and body image which I won't get into here. It's coming to seem possible that this will never change, and that thought is extremely painful to me. How can I learn to live with it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2013 - 35 answers

We are "on a break". How long should it last?

My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2013 - 40 answers

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