Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with sex and birthcontrol

Loss of libido with Levlen/Levora?

roxie110 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:32:13 -0800

Has anyone taking the birth control pill Levora/Levlen had a loss of libido? I've been taking this pill for a year now, and (along with some weight gain that kicked in about 6 months later, yuck) I've noticed a pretty steep drop in my libido.

This is the first time I've ever been on the pill, and I'm trying to figure out whether this may be related to the pill itself, or whether I'm just not that attracted to my boyfriend anymore (it's been 6 years)!

Any info or advice would be welcome.

No decision if birth control fails - what should I do?

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:25:06 -0800

So, every responsible sexually active adult has "the birth control" conversation. Awhile back, my long-term girlfriend and I had the "what happens if birth control fails" conversation - to my mind, equally important. We have not had sex since. I don't want kids.
She isn't sure, but leans toward "yes". It's not a dealbreaker for her, and she says her answer might at some point change to a definite "no", but were she to become pregnant, she isn't sure what she would do.
She is able at this point to support a child, she says, so she wouldn't automatically decide against.
She isn't anti-abortion. She just isn't sure what she would decide.

It was actually comments on MeFi that made me realize, as people have said:
"a man consents to fatherhood when he has sex". Realizing this was true, I've done the only thing I can do not getting any assurances on this question - not give that consent.

Naturally, this has left both of us pretty unhappy.

Obviously, a person can change her mind, so an "assurance" has limited value. But just as obviously, if she isn't sure now what she would do in that situation, I'm left with no indication as to whether I might remain childless or suddenly be a father for life. That's a pretty big life decision to leave to someone else's "I'll cross that bridge if I come to it".

So help me figure this out. Am I being ridiculous in acknowledging this decision point and looking for an answer to my question? She thinks I am - no boyfriend of hers has ever had the "what if birth control fails" discussion with her (which I think is crazy). We do use birth control, and clearly I can take increasingly severe actions to work toward eliminating any chance of pregnancy, up to and including a vasectomy (though I don't like some of the possible complications - testicular pain, in some cases relieved only by castration?!). I accept that differences on the question of children break many a couple up. I'm just not sure the possibility of children should do so. At the same time, a sexless relationship isn't what either of us wants, (though yes, there are "other" things we can do).

What do you think, MeFi? You convinced me that a man consents to fatherhood when he has sex.
I don't want to give that consent.
What do I do now?

Bitter little pill

t0astie — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:01:13 -0800

I want to take birth control pills again. But in the past I've had lots of problems with the three different pills I've tried. I know you are not a doctor, or my doctor, and I will see my doctor. But your experiences with birth control might help me make my choice when I do see the doc. So please, tell me, have you ever taken a birth control pill WITHOUT loss of libido, mood swings, madness, weight gain and skin issues? If so, what pill did you take? Background
I've tried Diane-35, Triphasil and Marvelon at various times, all with devastating and completely unacceptable side effects. I stopped about nine years ago, after a particularly terrible six months on Marvelon. On all of them, I had mood swings, depression, weight gain, nausea, tearfulness and zero libido.

On Marvelon I felt possibly the worst I have ever felt in my life, ever.

I am not prepared to kiss my sex drive goodbye, be transformed into a raving unstable psycho, have my face covered in zits or stack on a stone to take the pill.

But. My period is agony, I am miserable and PMS-y for a fortnight each month, then exhausted and crampy and faint and sick for three days out of the seven I bleed for.

Have tried everything else I can think of to fix the period issues: acupuncture, lifestyle changes (exercise, cut down caffeine, increased whole foods, fruit, veggies, minimal processed food, a range of supplements including evening primrose); acupuncture; massage; anti-inflammatories; various prescription and non prescription painkillers. All of these have helped, but have not fixed the problem. Also, yes, I have been checked out, I don't have endometriosis, cysts, fibroids, or any other problem like that. At this point, it's so terrible and debilitating, the pill is finally starting to look like something I'd consider again.

When I go and see the doctor, I'm thinking of asking about new low-dose pills and giving those ago, maybe having my period six monthly, or quarterly.

I've read through a stack of birth control questions, and anecdotally, it looks like Tri-cyclen in all its forms cause depression and anxiety symptoms, as do Microgynon, Alesse, Loestrin and Desogen.

Yasmin, Yaz and low estrogen pills seem to show up in the ''it worked for me'' responses, with less mood swing madness. But they also seem to cause loss of libido. This is a deal breaker.

I looked at this table, but it doesn't cover loss of libido (a real deal breaker) and also lists Triphasil as good for s moodiness and depression. Which. No.

So: Does anyone have any recommendations for side-effect minimal birth control pills that might let me keep the lovin' feeling, stay a normal weight, and not go stark raving mad?

Yep, I know, in the end, it will just come down to me and my unique reaction. But your annecdata will help me decide what to try first.

I am NOT interested in: and IUD, a diaphragm, patches, nuva ring or implants.

A sexual Catch-22.

Anonymous — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 11:10:45 -0800

Is there anything I can do to counteract the negative effect Yasmin is having on my libido? I've been taking Yasmin for about three weeks now, and I'm already noticing a worrisome decrease in my (usually extremely high) sex drive.

Normally, I'd go to my gynecologist and ask her to switch me to a different variety of hormonal birth control. Sadly, though, this isn't really an option because I'm leaving in a few days to visit my boyfriend, who lives in another state. There wouldn't be time for a different form of BC to take effect before then. Since we don't get to see each other often, we have a lot of "physical activity" planned, and I don't want to ruin that aspect of our visit by not having any interest in sex.

Basically, I'm looking for a way to stay on Yasmin (at least for a few more weeks) AND maintain my awesome libido. Does anyone have any tips for how I can increase my sexual appetite while on this drug? Or any (hopefully reassuring) anecdotes about how Yasmin affected your sex life?

Thanks!

If Mirena IUD strings are "tucked back", what keeps them from poking ME?

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:34:16 -0800

If Mirena IUD strings are "tucked back", what keeps them from poking ME? I had the Mirena inserted yesterday, and in the evening this occurred to me. I have searched and not found an explanation, and when I called the doc they had JUST closed for the weekend. So hopefully someone out there can explain this.

The doc showed me the strings and how the very ends of them can feel sharp to the man during sex if he hits them. But if the strings are "tucked back" behind the cervix she explained, he would only ever hit the sides and it would not hurt.

But that means the "sharp" ends (I know they're not sharp to our fingers but sharp to other areas) are turned around to face my...er, insides...so what stops them from poking me during sex or just during daily activities?

It doesn't hurt, I am not worried something is wrong right now, so this isn't an see-a-doctor-now situation. I just don't understand how this tucking thing works and I missed reaching my doc. Now it's going to bug me all weekend. Thanks ask.me

How can we either get around the side effects of my birth control OR get past the trials and tribulations of condoms?

Anonymous — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 17:43:52 -0800

Two-parter question about birth control. We need to either figure out how to make my hormonal BC more comfortable OR improve our condom experience. More details within. I'm about to give up on hormonal birth control entirely. I can deal with most of the side effects, but the dryness is becoming increasingly unbearable. Sex is starting to hurt more than it's fun. But! I'm giving myself the rest of this month's prescription (I'm on the NuvaRing at present but have tried other methods before) to figure out how to make this more bearable because we'd rather not go back to condoms. No amount or variety of lube seems to be helping with the hormonal BC. So, question part 1: Are there any other ways of decreasing the dryness? Anything you've tried besides lube that helped you personally?

If we can't make this work, we're going back to condoms, which brings me to part two of my question. I know there are quite a few posts on here about condoms, but I'd specifically like a suggestion for effective condoms that are *easy to put on* for larger-than-average guys. I've read that Hot Rod condoms, for instance, have applicator strips, but I don't know anything else about Hot Rod condoms, frankly. They seem like a bit of a novelty act. It's just that when we used condoms regularly, we'd sometimes go through two or three of them before he'd get one to stay on comfortably, and the whole process frustrates him. Any suggestions?

My girlfriend wants me to stop using a condom.

Anonymous — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:02:12 -0800

My girlfriend wants me to stop using a condom. My girlfriend is on the birth control pill--and has been for some time. We normally use a condom during sex, but she'd like me to stop. I'm a bit paranoid about this, and I'm not sure whether it's a valid concern or a holdover from the scare videos in my middle-school sex education classes. I'm 30, and I should be old enough to handle something like this... but I'm not sure what to do.

Controlling Birth Control: Can I?

shadowfelldown — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:27:27 -0800

The goal here is more sex and zero babies. Okay. I know I need to take the pill at approximately the same time every day to prevent pregnancy. This causes one scheduling decision I'd like to avoid having to make:

Take the pill earlier in the day, ending my period and having sex earlier on Fridays but get my period again and have to stop earlier on Sunday nights, or take my pill late on Fridays and have to wait until later at night to have sex (or until the next day! Gah!), so my period ends later and I wont have to worry about getting my period on Sunday night.

I'm not a freak or anything, but at the moment my relationship is somewhat long distance and I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends.
I would like to avoid this problem by taking the pill quite early on Fridays, perhaps around 3 or 4 at the beginning of the month, safely ending my period by later that friday night, but be taking my last pill quite late on Thursday (11:30, lets say) so that I wouldn't get my period on Sunday night.
Since simply changing at some point in the month seems too unsafe babywise (I am taking absolutely no chances at being that 1% or girls who get knocked up on the pill), I would like to accomplish this gradually during the month. A half hour later every few days until I am taking the pill when I want to be.

Is this safe?
Can I get away with doing this without risking pregnancy?

We don't want a flipper baby

phearlez — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:30:49 -0800

My darling girlfriend and I have a birth control dilemma and need some input. The short of it is this: because of regular medications she has to take, we're encouraged to use two forms of birth control. Consequently she takes Seasonalle and we use condoms. The question is: would the current breed of hormone-releasing IUD products suffice as two forms of birth control? In case someone's inclined to snark, yes, it actually is both of us who'd like to ditch the condoms - she might dislike them more than me, in fact.

And yes, she is making an appointment to see a gyn to talk about it. However we'd like a little more input - as it is, one (junior) doctor stated at one point "I wouldn't worry about it" when we asked him about birth control and the possibility of the medication interfering with the effectiveness of the seasonale.

While his boss rolled her eyes at this and agreed that he was too blasé about it, it underscores that it's not always easy to be on the same page with people about risk trade-offs. Plus, we're the ones who'd be living with the specter of a thalidomide flipper baby, not anyone else. So of course it's eventually on us.

That said, would it be reasonable for us to think of the Mirena IUD as two forms of birth control, accepting that nothing in life is a certainty?

Oh baby i'm gonna...

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:55:16 -0800

BirthControlFilter: My girlfriend believes that in order to be properly safe during sex (in this case baby free) 2 types of preventative measures should be used (condom + pulling out). Any hard facts to back that up? I believe just a condom used properly will be fine. She believes that it is many times safer to both use a condom and have me pull out before I cum than just having me use a condom. The pill is not out of the question just not availible yet, and if the pill is in use so will a condom, but I am mostly wondering if it really is much safer to pull out when using a condom than not.

Birth Control hiatus-- good or bad?

np312 — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:53:41 -0800

Birth Control filter: Is it going to negatively affect my health if I skip taking my birth control pills for a month (during which time I will assuredly be abstinent) and then go right back on them once I'm back home where I can renew the prescription for cheap? Here's the situation: my boyfriend is on a long vacation so I won't be getting any action for a month. As it happens, my birth control prescription needs to be renewed, but since I am currently out of my home state for the next couple weeks, I would have to pay 40 bucks to get my pills renewed for this next round of pills. (When I'm in my home state it's easy to get the prescription through my health insurance and it only costs a few dollars.)

I have just finished my last pack of Levlen 28 (which I've been on consistently for years, never skipping a month.) I'm wondering if I should shell out the 40 bucks to get an out-of-state prescription even though there is no way I will be having sex this month, just to keep my body from going through any unnecessary stopping/starting chemical hormone weirdness.

However, I don't know that such physical weirdness exists. Is it perfectly safe for me to stop taking my pills for one month's cycle, if I go back on them once I'm back home, exactly on the same day 4 weeks from now?

Of course, I would be careful for the first 7 days once I'm back on the pills, and use a condom, as if it were my first time taking the pills. I'm more concerned with whether or not there are any negative side effects to my body doing this on again-off again-on again thing.

Thanks!

Diaphragms and Spermicide

otherwordlyglow — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 10:36:29 -0800

New diaphragm: Tips, tricks, and spermicide recommendations, please. I just got my first ever diaphragm, an Ortho All-Flex. I've read lots about effectiveness, potential side effects, standard techniques for using but I'm interested in anecdotal experiences. In particular, I'm curious about the different types and formulations of spermicide. I know you have to use the gel inside the diaphragm when first inserted but if you have sex again, within the 6 hours you need to leave it in after the first time you have sex, you're supposed to "reapply" spermicide. From what I can see, you have various options: foam, gel, and film. Are there benefits and/or problems that others who have experienced them can relate? I'm guessing that they all, ummmm, taste bad, right? Any other thoughts (yes, men, too!) are appreciated.

How can I convince my girlfriend to stop relying on condoms for birth control?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 10:46:43 -0800

How can I convince my girlfriend to stop relying on condoms for birth control? We're in a very committed (3+ year) relationship, and we live together. Condoms (I use Durex Avanti's, which are WAY better than latex, but still...) just don't compare to natural intercourse. Her objections to various alternatives are as follows:
- Implants are off the table. I'm inclined to agree on this point.
- Diaphragms are uncomfortable for her. She also claims that her fingers are too short to get it out easily. Side question- this seems a bit odd to me, but I'm a man and I'm utterly ignorant of these things, so I'm not about to call her on it. Is this a real problem for some people, or something she's convinced herself of? She won't use a menstrual cup for the same reason.
- Her objection to The Pill is more complex, having to do with general issues of not wanting to "be medicated", to not wanting something muck with her natural cycle. Personally, the lessened mood swings and bleeding (both of which she gets in spades, but are part of "what make her who she is") would seem like a boon to me, but then, see "I'm a man" above.

Conversations usually stall at, "I appreciate your desire, but I'm not messing with my body." Given my druthers, I'd push for The Pill, but I'm open to suggestions. She's not on any other medication.

Natural Family Planning?

Anonymous — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 14:34:52 -0800

How have your experiences been with Natural Family Planning? This thread touched on it, but I am looking for some personal accounts that might give perspective into the ups and downs of the process. Has it worked for you? Which method did you use? Has anyone used a fertility computer such as this? Is it useful/easy/worth the money? Did you attend a training class and was helpful? Any advice or tips for a new couple?

Need effective birth control

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 17:18:26 -0800

Help me bonk my wife. We're at our wits' end with birth control. * The pill - serious emotional and physical side effects.
* Condom - she has a latex allergy. (This would presumably affect diaphragms as well, though we haven't tried.)
* Nonlatex condom - broke the first time we tried.
* Kids - absolutely not.
* Vasectomy - I'm all for it, and we're not interested in having biological children, but it may be that we're too young (20s) to make such a decision (though I hear reversability technologies are getting better.)

So are we doomed to a life of rhythm/withdrawl? Are some of the newer contraceptives (depo/patch) more tolerable for people with reactions to the pill? Is that spermicide goo reliable enough when used alone with the rhythm method?