I'm kinky, but only sometimes. He's kinky, all the time, and more so than me. He also displays a focus on certain specific sex acts that I find worrying and is interfering with our sex life - not the things we do, but the things it seems he has to do to come or be happy. How do we deal with this? What do these desires of his mean? And if I'm not into the things he has to do, does it mean he's not into me? (Insecurities abound)
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2013 -
28 answers
I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm kinky, but I feel like my life is over and I wish I could just cut this out of me and get rid of it.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 10, 2012 -
53 answers
How did leather, latex, and vinyl get to be the most popular and celebrated materials in the kink/BDSM world - as opposed to say velvet, silk, organza, lace, muslin?
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posted by divabat
on Sep 25, 2012 -
24 answers
I've always been a rather aggressive lover, but it wasn't until I met my most recent girlfriend (who is a submissive) that I fully understood my sexuality. I enjoy BDSM, and I don't intend to stop enjoying that experience simply because my girlfriend broke up with me. (Snowflake details below, possibly NSFW.)
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 13, 2012 -
28 answers
I'm looking for a partner who matches me well on a personality level and who is also naturally dominant in bed.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 11, 2012 -
18 answers
Kink-filter: How can I initiate sex while maintaining my submissive role in the bedroom? NSFW D/s details inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 30, 2011 -
16 answers
Recommendations for erotica featuring BDSM aftercare? Help me out, Mefites, please!
posted by anonymous
on Jun 6, 2011 -
4 answers
Please give me your recommendations for well-stocked BDSM-inclined sex shops in NYC. Note: *not* Babeland.
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 22, 2010 -
3 answers
My hubby's kinky. I'm not. Please help us figure out a fair way to compromise in the bedroom.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 23, 2010 -
46 answers
I am looking for advice about or stories of coming to terms with submissive feelings in bed. I'm a lady in my mid 20s and I like dudes.
I've seen a few questions like
this one and
this one, from the perspective of guys who want to be more dominant with their girls, but are finding it hard to get in the head-space. I'm interested in the opposite angle.
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posted by anonymous
on May 21, 2010 -
35 answers
BDSMFilter: How can I find non-monogamous kinky lovers out here in the vanilla world? I've gone to munches and classes at TES (a bdsm organization here in NYC) and other bdsm groups, but I never meet people there with whom I can connect on other levels. Is there a trick to finding kinky folk in vanilla settings?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 1, 2010 -
16 answers
As part of my New Year's Self-Improvement Program (tm), I'm seeking out a few sexual experiences I haven't had but would like. In particular, I'd like to be the third in a heterosexual couple's threesome. I'm a mostly-straight man in San Francisco.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 5, 2010 -
8 answers
What is a good argument for the immorality of
terribly sadistic but ultimately consensual sex, from a secular perspective?
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posted by limon
on Jan 2, 2010 -
61 answers
Your tips on figuring out my feelings as I enter into casual play relationships? (risque elaboration within)
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 4, 2009 -
10 answers
My girlfriend loves being tied up. Unfortunately, I never was a boy scout and suck at tying knots. (nsfw)
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 28, 2008 -
18 answers
KinkFilter: Is there currently any sociological research on sexual kinks, specifically long-term BDSM relationships? My friend and I were talking a couple days ago, and we were wondering if D/s dynamics were more common among certain demographics (i.e., college-educated, middle class, particular ethnic groups, certain religions, etc.), and I decided that MeFi might know if anyone was publishing on this stuff.
posted by aliceinreality
on Nov 26, 2008 -
14 answers
Kinkyelectricsex: My partner wants to bring a TENS machine into the bedroom. How safe or dangerous are these things?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 3, 2008 -
7 answers
What's a good resource for the history of laws governing BDSM pornography? [discussion, of course, potentially nsfw]
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posted by nadawi
on May 13, 2008 -
6 answers
Please point me to resources that describe the phenomenon of "switching" by some BDSM participants.
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posted by Forktine
on Apr 13, 2008 -
3 answers
My partner wants me to dominate him. That's totally not my style, and his pickiness makes it harder, but I'm trying my best, and it's working! Up to a point. (NSFW text inside.)
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 12, 2007 -
49 answers
Help me overcome my reluctance to dominate my girl and fulfill both our fantasies. I would feel silly and disconnected dominating my girl the way she wants to be dominated in the bedroom. How can I step beyond my self-consciousness to give her what she wants while remaining sensual enough to satisfy myself?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 13, 2007 -
24 answers
BSDMFilter : Is it true that there are far more male bottoms then there are female tops?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 20, 2006 -
14 answers