Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with sex and Women

Should women expect men to cheat on them?

starpoint — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:01:32 -0800

I'm 27 and single. I've never had a serious boyfriend. Just throwing that out there. My brother is 24. Our 1st cousins are visiting for Christmas. One of them is male and 19, the other is female and 16. Tonight we somehow got into a huge discussion about relationships. Basically my brother and cousin (the 19-year-old) were making the following points: 1. Guys NEED to have sex with multiple women (my brother equated it with the desire to pee).

2. Just because a guy has sex with other women outside a relationship or marriage, it doesn't mean he loves his girlfriend (or wife) any less.

3. Men are living against their biological nature in Western Society. The natural order is for men to sleep with as many women as possible to spread his seed, not to stick with just one woman his whole life.

4. Continuing with Point #3, in many non-Western societies, men have multiple wives and those women don't have a problem with it; and are happy living in a harem where they are taken care of. Western women have been programmed to believe that a man will only stay with them.

5. The natural order of women is that women don't care if men sleep with other women. If they do care, then it's because the women have been programmed to think so.

6. Men are made better when they have multiple partners. E.g., they have to stay "oiled" or they become less desirable in general.

7. EVERY man will cheat on his wife or girlfriend at some point. Or if he doesn't, he will want to.

8. It's NOT OK for a woman to sleep with another man because biologically her husband or boyfriend sees her as his property and doesn't want to lose an opportunity to spread his seed (even if he has 30 other women).

9. The emotional connection women have toward men during a relationship (and men toward women) is just a temporary infatuation thing and is designed for men to stick around long enough to protect the woman while she's pregnant. Then the man is free to move on to someone else because a pregnant woman can't give him the sex he needs.

------
Of these points I do agree with the biological aspects -- women are choosier because they can only produce so many offspring; and so men need to be ready at all times so that there are "seeds" around when a woman is ready to have a baby. Nothing new there.

Otherwise I'm not sure how much I agree with many of these points.

What bothered me is the sheer arrogance of the way in which my brother and cousin presented their arguments -- as though everything men want is rational and biological, and what women want is "temporary" or the result of "programming." It's fine for a man to sleep around but not for a woman to do the same? My cousin also said that I will never meet a man that will not cheat on me. Gee, thanks. I pointed out some friends of mine who are happily married, and they just brushed those away saying that those guys are either nerdy "Beta-men" or that they could be cheating, too.

I don't know what to think. Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world. Maybe this is a reality check. There is some element of truth in what they said, but it bothers me nonetheless. I am hoping to meet a guy who is the ying to my yang and we support each other and are faithful to one another. I would not want him to sleep with other women, and I wouldn't sleep with other men. Of course we may find other people attractive, but is it so much to ask for a lifetime commitment to one person? Should I expect him to cheat behind my back? Is that just "the way it is"? My brother, cousins and I couldn't reach a compromise except, "ask nothing, tell nothing."

My brother said he's talked to many men -- professors, pilots, business men, etc., who have all supposedly cheated on their wives. I'm not trying to portray my brother and cousin as bad people. They're not bad people, but they are both a bit arrogant. But at least they're honest (with me, anyway).

I couldn't think of any good counter-arguments during our discussion. I enjoy debate but I'm not good at it when it's sudden and I haven't had a chance to prepare. I understand that my brother is a guy and he has needs, but what about women's needs? Why are women's needs less important? I don't want to be wife #19. Is that so much to ask? Is it unrealistic? When I pursue relationships, should I expect the guy to cheat? Should I bring it up with him before we even start to go steady? What are ways a guy can handle his desire to be with multiple women in a long-term relationship?

Men: "Nice shoes!" (trans: let's fuck!) Women: "Nice shoes!" (trans: let's be friends!)

Eleutherios — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:22:11 -0800

Previously dated men, now wants to date women. Problem: I can't tell when women are interested in me or if they just want to be friends. I seem to be pretty good in picking up on clues that a man is sexually interested in me, women not so much.

I've had scenerios show up over and over with men and women:

-Being stared at in a bar/party/club
-Being told that I'm attractive/sexy
-Being messaged on online dating sites
-Having a friend of their's introduce me ("Hey are you single? If yes, my friend would like to meet you!)
-Someone inviting me over their house to fix dinner for me
-Being grinded on the dance floor

Whenever men show the above behaviors, it almost always leads up to them wanting to pursue a relationship and/or have sex with me. I've always reject those advances, because I'm not sexually attracted to men, eventhough I pretended to be for a while. I was in a few relationships with men, but they were sexless.

Whenever women show the above behaviors I get a different result. Unlike with the guys, I don't show coolness when women act like that around me, I actually turn up the heat. Once I show my attraction, I'm told that they are looking for friendship and not anything more. That's if I'm lucky, there were a few occasions where women just walked away from me.

This has caused me a lot of frustration and confusion, the fact that the very same behaviors has led to very different outcomes, depending on the gender involved. To add to the confusion, whenever I show those above behaviors, I am definately sexually attracted to a woman. I mean, I would never invite a woman over to my house (knowing that we are both lesbians) to cook for her, if I wasn't trying to have sex with her or wanted her to be my girlfriend. It would just be awkward.

I've been told that I think a lot like a guy, so I think this is messing up my perception a bit. For those who date women, regardless of your gender, how do I tell the difference between friendly interest and sexual interest? Please help a woman who's new to this scene.

I want a physical thing, no more, no less

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:32:52 -0800

How do I identify and meet women interested in a one night stand? For the past few years, I've found myself in a number of relationships where my partners don't want to have sex. They'll do everything to remain technical virgins (oral, mutual masturbation, etc.), but penetrative intercourse is out. For some reason, I seem to keep meeting these sorts of women when I go out looking for a girlfriend.

At this point, I'm single and ready to have some fun. I've been thinking of going to bars and other places where I might meet women who are interested in a purely sexual relationship.

My questions are:

1. How can I tell if a woman is interested in having a one night stand?

2. Where can I meet women who are interested in only a sexual relationship? For example, does craigslist Casual Encounters actually work?

3. If I suspect a woman may be interested in a one night stand, then how can I proposition her for this?

If you need to follow up, throwaway e-mail is mansextonight at gmail.com.

Are those gosh durned kids really having as much free love as the Tv says?

reenum — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:24:24 -0800

How accurate are the media portrayals of young people engaging in risky sexual behaviors? Recently, I've noticed that a lot of media outlets seem to be sensationalizing the sexual practices of people in their teens and 20's. These sources would have you believe that these groups are always 'hooking up', they prefer oral sex to kissing, and that now engage in sexual activity first and date if the experience is positive. Things along those lines.

I'm 30, so I was a teen in the early 90's. I find it hard to believe that sexual mores have changed all that much in the last 15 years. Obviously, I don't get much action, so I can't speak from experience. Have things really become as open and free as the media would have us believe?

Are there any studies or news stories that give statistics of how prevalent sexual activity and risky sexual behaviors are in teens and twentysomethings? Anecdotes are also welcome.

Dom in life, sub in bed

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 08:21:18 -0800

Dom in life, sub in bed - how to get over feeling like a hypocrite? I'm a girl in my early twenties, in law school, and most of my life up to this point has been preparation for a successful career. Not to say I haven't had fun, but that was, and still is, one of my major goals in life. I'm a staunch feminist. I'm doing well and I have no real concerns about my professional future.

Just as a sidenote, I know that I can have these two sides to my personality and be happy with myself and I don't have to be exclusively one type of person in each realm of my life. I try not to be close-minded that way, but nevertheless something feels wrong.

My problem is how I reconcile that part of me, with the other, very different side of me. Sexually, I'm about as submissive as a person can get. I'm into BDSM, general D/s, and you could say anything related to "little girl" fetishes. I went through a phase when I was younger where I thought I was really screwed up and there was something wrong with me, but now I enjoy it immensely and have found someone who is absolutely amazing in relating to both of these sides.

Every now and again though, I feel like something is wrong. I have arguments about whether there are inherent differences between males and females and I refuse to believe that my femininity makes me less capable of being successful professional and being a good leader. And then this voice in my head always says "if only they knew what you like to do when you're alone at home."

My question is not about how to change anything. I don't. I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this particular issue and how they reconciled these conflicting attitudes in their minds. I just want to stop feeling like there is something "wrong" and just be able to pursue all my goals without feeling like a hypocrite.

Why doesn't the rug match the drapes?

reenum — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:36:34 -0800

Why do some people's hair on their head and pubic hair not match in color? First off, I'm excluding people who have their hair colored. I know why their hair doesn't match.

I've known women who had dirty blond hair and had black pubic hair. Others I've spoken to have shared the same thing. Given that hair should be the same all over, why is pubic hair sometimes a different color than the rest of your hair?

Heterosexual female cannot orgasm without vibrator. (NSFW. Duh.)

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:35:43 -0800

Is there anything I can do to be able to orgasm without a vibrator? I don't think it's a mental thing because I orgasm just fine whether I'm using it on myself or my boyfriend is using it on me, but nothing besides a vibrator will get me there.

Intercourse doesn't stimulate the clitoris, and the positions that are supposed to stimulate the clitoris are painful and uncomfortable. Besides, intercourse is way too short, so I wouldn't have time to orgasm.

I don't like receiving oral sex. The tongue is too wet and too smooth, so there is none of the friction necessary to feel good. For the same reason, I use the vibrator over my undies so I can get that friction. I actually think the slimy feel of the tongue is unpleasant.

I really wish I could orgasm when my boyfriend fingers me, but for some reason I can't. It turns me on soooo much, but doesn't get me there. It's crazy, because whenever I use the vibrator by myself, I only think about the last time my boyfriend was fingering me and that always does it for me and makes me orgasm. But when he actually does it, it doesn't work!

Am I doomed to only orgasm from an electronic object? I want to orgasm from my boyfriend touching me!

Mid 30's, sexually active for approximately 15 years (though with a few long gaps), in case that information is relevant.

Health Benefits of Sex?

taramosalata — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:39:24 -0800

Sex is often touted as beneficial for one's health. Is this supposed to be true for both men and women, and how much evidence is there for the claim (apart from calorie expenditure, which is still negligible compared to actual aerobic exercise)? And is it primarily the orgasm that's supposedly healthful, or even sex sans orgasm?

What conversation topics put a man on the Friends Ladder with women?

harwons — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 08:13:31 -0800

As a man, does talking to a woman about your adventures with other women put you on the friends ladder? So there's the Ladder Theory, which, let's face it, applies to most women (they don't want to endanger the friendship with a man by sleeping with him).

A woman with whom I talked frequently (including about our past dates and partners) once told me "I can't have the hots for you because we talk more than we fuck".

My question is: which parts/topics of conversation between a man and a woman put the man on the Friends Ladder?

A kiss is just a kiss

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:05:14 -0800

Am I fair in blaming a snail's-pace relationship on my weak ability to show affection? I'm ~3 months into a relationship with a girl I'm smitten over. Unfortunately, it's the most G-rated, nonphysical relationship I've ever been in. The same for her, probably, as she's had lots of sex before me. Our relationship has evolved very little since the first date. I'm worried I'm more the problem than she is.

Both of us have executed few acts of entering the other's personal space. Very little hand-holding: her hands are always somewhere that I can't reach them without a little force, like the purse strap. Kissing happens only at the end of dates, and they're split-second short. (The exception is last Sunday, when I couldn't take it anymore and asked her outright for a nice kiss. 'Sure,' she said, and it was so.) No making out and sex, by corollary.

For someone who's had way more experience than I've had, I'm stumped why this relationship has basically stalled. I'm more than happy to wait indefinitely for sex, but no other forms of affection have come to fill the void. I'm the source of most of it, and I don't even do that much because I stress out about what she'd think. In a theatre I managed to reach over and give her a quick body squeeze before bailing out. She's been to my apartment once (it was early on and she knew I wouldn't pull any moves; we talked the entire time), but I don't know if I could ask her over again. I feel like she'd interpret it as a push for sex, which may or may not be the case, who knows. (Which is an interesting side question: how does one pose this invitation?) I used to be the exact opposite: with past GFs, I wouldn't shut up about how much I 'loved' them. In hindsight it was totally creepy.

Am I fair in blaming a snail's-pace relationship on my weak ability to show affection? What can I do to improve myself or get her to understand how I feel about her lack of response? Bringing up the desire for a good kiss is one thing, but I can't keep doing it for squeezing, hand-holding, first base, etc.

(Please don't suggest that I DTMFA. I know it sounds like she's cold and uninterested in me. I'm sure she enjoys my company very much. What we lack in physicality we make up verbally: we spend six hour stretches just talking and having fun.)

We're big and getting busy. How can we get busier?

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 20:12:40 -0800

Sex positions for overweight people? NSFW details inside A friend and I recently began having sex, but have run into a problem. I'm a man, BTW.

I'm a bit overweight (6 feet, 225). She is obese (5'7', 200).

I tried missionary, but my penis had problems staying inside her, since I couldn't get it all the way in. After a bit of trying, I was able to climax.

I'm wondering what sorts of positions people like us can use for maximum pleasure.

Thanks!

Feminist commentary on female sexual preferences

Cucurbit — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:14:25 -0800

I'm interested in reading feminist commentary on female sexual preferences, especially on the near-universal (?) preference of women for taller and older men. What does the range of opinions within feminism look like, and what books or articles or essays ought I search for? Suggestions for materials that respond to feminist perspectives on this topic are also welcome.

How can I be OK with never being intimate with another?

Anonymous — Sat, 17 May 2008 16:26:42 -0800

I'm 29 and haven't had sex. How can I reconcile with the fact that it might not ever happen for me? I'm 29 and I've never had sex.

This fact has been weighing on me lately. I feel like everyone around me is having sex and is able to find people to be intimate with except for myself.

So far, I've had two girlfriends. Both were somewhat religious, and did not believe in sex before marriage. I cared about them, and so I respected their wishes. Still, I always wondered what it would be like.

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that perhaps I'm not meant to ever have sex with another.

So I ask you, has sex been worth it to those who have had it? If you're still a virgin, how are you able to cope with these feelings? Any help would be appreciated.

Throwaway e-mail is frustratedvirgin@gmail.com if you don't want to post an answer here or want to ask me further questions.

Pleasing yourself

hadjiboy — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:36:55 -0800

Do women have different phrases to describe the act of masturbation? Men seem to have no shortage of them, from watching American television, but I was wondering if women had such a diverse vocabulary on that topic as well. Come on ladies—spill!

(Or not—totally upto you:))

Is my biological clock attached to a sex bomb?

Ambrosia Voyeur — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 09:37:04 -0800

One often hears about the mid-thirties "sexual peak" for women. I have some questions about that. What is this change really like, from your experiences?

How much of this theory assumes a repressive attitude toward female sexual gratification or a delayed onset of it, and how much is actually a dependable increase or decrease in libido-related hormones? Which hormones are verifiably tied to female sex drive?

My libido is, in a word, unruly. Apart from the obvious upside, it's rather like PMS, f that helps clarify my difficulty: inconstant, hard to control, disorienting, distracting, inappropriate, irrational. I went off the pill and it skyrocketed. I am concerned about its likelihood to ride me off the rails over the next ten years. I don't relish the thought of becoming even more like an 18 year old boy, when I'm a sensible and satisfied 26 year old woman. Should I really expect my libido to increase in force, or does this theory merely intend to say that women get better at getting off, like, by learned behaviors, as they mature?

If you have experienced an excess of libido, advice thereto is also appreciated.

I want to marry her, but at what cost?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:30:47 -0800

My girlfriend and I have religious and cultural differences. How can our relationship work? My GF and I have now been going out for almost 10 months. We're in love and care deeply for each other. We're already talking about marriage. However, things are complicating our long term future.

She is Catholic and I'm not religious. She's deeply religious and wants to raise the kids Catholic. I have no problem with this at all. But, she feels that in order to raise the kids Catholic, both parents must be 100% behind it. What she means by this is that she would like me to go to church with her. I am not Christian in the least and have no plans of converting.

My GF's rationale is as follows: If she goes to church and I don't, the kids will ask why dad doesn't go to church. This might lead them to religious confusion.

Another problem is that our cultures are not remotely similar. I'm from Asia, and she has an American dad and Mexican mom. She is worried that she will be shut out from my culture.

Finally, she asked me what we have in common. She says we don't have religion or culture in common. This concerns her as to what sort of an identity our future kids might have.

I deeply love this girl, and want to make it work, but she has stated the options as follows:

1. She leaves her religion and culture behind, leading to possible resentment of me.
2. I go to church with her and the kids, leading to resentment from me.
3. We break up.

I don't want to break up, but also don't know how to resolve this situation so we can move forward. Any suggestions?

Trials of a Responsible Hedonist

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:11:11 -0800

Peripatetic, endearingly-awkward geek seeks amazing advice for casual sex shenanigans. I recently completed my first serious relationship, a year-long cohabitation. It ended, in large part because I'm just not ready to settle down - I'm young (24), and I've still got an itch to scratch (although this former girlfriend is still one of my dearest friends in the world). I travel from job to job, from oceanography in the Pacific Ocean to (as of March) a stint in Japan. This wanderlust is the bee's knees, but does not provide the foundation for serious romantic roots.

So I come to you, hive mind, to bestow me with your collective wisdom on casual sex mojo.

I am not a total novice in this arena. Of the dozen+ women I've been lucky enough to somehow bed, most have been one-nighters with women 5-10 years older than I, and whose ranks have included PhDs, a fetish model or two, and a disproportionate number of redheads. This sounds grand, until you realize that most of this action has been courtesy of: sex parties, and Craigslist.

I know - I know, OK? Not a real source of pride. But what few sex parties I've attended have always been fascinating and hilarious, even though nine times out of ten I ended up reading books (I come prepared) or dancing. My own Craigslist postings - posted here and here for your edification - prompt fan mail, but no real results (the internet is made of flakes).

Yet I have, in fact, approached (hundreds?) of women on subways and city streets (mostly in NYC) to tell them them they're gorgeous, and ask them out on the spot - most are taken, it's never proceeded past a coffee even if they're single, but 99% were grinning a mile-wide even if they said "No." (Perhaps I was too young? At its height, I was 20 or 21). Nevertheless, the abysmal success rate did do a number on my self-confidence. Fact is, I would very much like to meet a lovely lady or two in the flesh, while out on the town, and woo her by virtue of my own merits.

I just have no idea how. Help a man out.

Pros: I am, apparently, quite attractive - I regularly sport pinstripes and a fedora, and I'm informed that pictures of me prompt girly coos (which confuses no one more than me). I have a natural accent - I am often thought to be either British or Eastern European (having lived in both places), despite being born and raised in the States. I read everything I get my hands on, and have wacky tales of adventure to amuse and intrigue. I also tear up the dance floor at clubs.

Cons: I don't drink or frequent bars, depriving me of valuable social lubricant. I am effectively blind to female social cues and come-ons (friends and family have to tell me what I've missed), and I couldn't muster decent innuendo if I tried. And I worry that, at first glance, I'm really quite creepy: I can't manage small talk for the life of me, don't match any standard of hip (no drugs, infinitely obscure interests), and regularly provoke comments about my 'intensity.' I also enjoy treating people like human beings - which, I'm told, does not raucous casual sex make.

Remember: I'm looking for advice, not lectures. For your information, I have never, ever cheated on a girl, and I have never, ever had unprotected sex - despite which, I get tested every six months out of civic responsibility. I am, in fact, a big fan of falling down emotional rabbit holes with brilliant, badass women - but that's simply not what my life allows for right now.

I believe that you should leave your lovers better than you found them. Because this isn't even about sex, really - it's about having fabulous adventures with wonderful people. Just in bed.

What works? What doesn't? What might? I'm at responsiblehedonist@yahoo.com. Thank you in advance. You're all beautiful.

How can I get an orgrasm when everything is so intense?

Anonymous — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:57:32 -0800

[NSFW] Women of the world...how can I have an orgasm when everything just feels so intense? I seem to to have a problem with managing the intensity of stimulation. This older question is similar in that it feels too "intense" for me, but I don't have any sexual abuse in my past. I'm in my early twenties and on my second partner and sex feels wonderful, but I can't seem to get to a full orgasm. Admittedly I'm sometimes a tense person with a stressful life, but I always look forward to sex. Mostly he manually stimulates me before and during sex. I've used a vibrator before but I don't have a good one.

Once I'm stimulated I just can't seem to handle it and I pull back. If I can relax a lot I can feel muscles all over my body start to tighten, but I have only managed to orgasm once and it required a lot of concentration, a vibrator, and a position that kept me from pulling back. Is this normal?

More importantly, is there anything I can do about it? I thought about grabbing a bottle of the lubricant that desensitizes men so they can go longer in the hopes it would moderate things.

PMS. WTF.

Ambrosia Voyeur — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:35:21 -0800

What is the evolutionary relevance of PMS?

Book recommendations for the mature woman

b33j — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 21:52:53 -0800

I’d like to read some fiction books where the heroine is intelligent, 40+ years old, not incredibly gorgeous or incredibly wealthy or incredibly famous, but with responsibilities (like teenage kids or a career), who has explicit & hot sex. Chick lit all grown up, you might say. Story and plot is vital. Science fiction is great. I'm pretty relaxed about genre if the other criteria are met. Movies suggestions like these also welcome but it’s easier for me to get to the library than to the video shop. I have browsed the AskMe tags of women and books. I would google it, but I’m not sure how to narrow my search so that I don’t end up with Barbara Taylor Bradford- yech.

How do women know how to be women in America?

bilabial — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 20:47:47 -0800

Is there academic research that claims that viewing of advertising material a ritual of genderization? I'm writing a paper for anthropology class and am stating that it is. I've got enough material to support my saying it is, but I haven't come across anyone else saying it is. A large chunk of my writing focuses on content analysis of 7 ads I found in current American magazines that disembody and infantilize women. So what I'm arguing is that this print medium tells women what they can and can't be.

What gives? Has anyone else seen anything along these lines, or might I actually be breaking some ground here?

My university has access to online journal archives, so if you just tell me who and when, or perhaps an article title, I can find the works, if they're around, because maybe I could study this more thoroughly.

How to become a sex goddess?

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 00:01:33 -0800

SexualityFilter: I was raised as a strict religious conservative, but have realized that's just not me and I am starting over. I'd like to learn a lot more about myself, sexually. What tips and books do you have to help give a 23 year old woman sexual knowledge and confidence? I'm in the process of getting a divorce and moving to another city to start my new life. The marriage had a lot of roots in the religious indoctrination and fell apart as I grew away from it. The sex was mediocre and infrequent. We were both virgins.

This wasn't the best atmosphere to develop into a satisfied sexual being. Now, I'd like to learn more about satisfying myself... establishing a baseline for my own pleasure, if you will. Once I have that, translating that to a damn fine time with a partner would be fantastic ;)

I'm looking for helpful books or web pages that may assist me on my journey.

A few things just for information:
- I took a Human Sexuality class at university, as well as having the internet, so I know the mechanics.
- Although when I was religious, I never thought about it because it was "evil", I've now discovered I also like women as well as men. Any books suggestions for bisexual or lesbian aspects would also be helpful.

Why do I see so many Asian women riding in the back seat?

oxonium — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 20:18:59 -0800

Not sure if this is AskMeFi material, but google returns mostly porn results for "Asian wife backseat," and I can't find any previous question: I often see Asian men driving with women (presumably their wives) in the backseat. Nobody is riding shotgun. It is definitely the exception (i.e., most putative Asian couples I see are riding side-by-side). Does anyone know what this is about? Possible explanations:

Many Asian women are quite petite, and passenger-side airbags are a safety concern. This may be the case, but I've seen this situation in enough older automobiles (presumably without passenger-side airbags or any at all) and women that appeared to be of appropriate height and weight to negate this theory.

Infants: some have a childseat/children in back, most do not.

Personal racial bias: I have seen this situation only once or twice with non-Asians, and in these cases, there was an infant in the backseat. I don't think I'm selectively overseeing counterexamples.

Regional: I have observed this on both coasts and in the midwest.

Any ideas?

how does it feel to have your period?

krautland — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:44:17 -0800

how does it feel to have your period? I like flying coach. the seats are close enough that you can listen in on the most interesting conversations and experience the most intriguing smells.

there was a couple in the row behind me yesterday on my way back from happyland and they weren't happy. she, in her twenties and nothing short of stunning, seemed to have rejected his advances earlier that day. I didn't think they were going to shout or do anything else highly comedic, so I was about to tune out when she said something that sparked my interest.

"You would be pissed too if you knew you were about to get kicked in the nuts for the next week."

oh, shit.

there isn't a lot that's really worse than getting a good, hard kick into your nuts. it makes you want to puke, cry and laugh hysterically at the same time and I blame an incident much like this one for the existence of the bee gees, tax codes and the republican party. but something tells me a woman can never really know what this feels like, just as much as I think a man can never really know what having the period feels like. unless of course the hive mind, which proved quite capable here, interfers with another exceptional explanation.

so how does it feel to have your period?

Why can't some straight women orgasm without fantasizing about women rather than men?

orangeshoe — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 00:28:24 -0800

Is it normal for a woman to be unable to orgasm alone or with a (male) partner unless she fantasizes about women? A girlfriend of mine in some strain of conversation confessed to me that this was the only way she could orgasm. I searched for an answer on here before asking but found nothing to satisfy my curiosity.

At any rate, I inquired whether she might be gay or bi or anything in between or outside the confines of the two, and she replied that she is definitely without a doubt neither. But with qualification - she thinks she would probably enjoy getting it on with a female but is SURE she would want only to be with a male. She also indicates that she is more attracted to males than females in ways other than sexually.

But the fact remains - she cannot orgasm without fantasizing about women and has completely given up on having an orgasm through intercourse with her husband.

I've heard other girlfriends of mine say similar things, though not completely to the extreme as the one of whom I now speak. I'm just extremely curious as to what this could mean. Indeed, I carried on this conversation with my friend for what felt like 4 hours trying to delve into her thoughts and how to rationalize them.

Thoughts?