1859 posts tagged with sex.
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How to find a compatible, welcoming kink environment?

After getting burned on our first try, we're trying to look at finding someplace to let our kink flag fly a bit more outside the bedroom. We could use some help/suggestions, though! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 2 answers

How might my body be thwarting my libido?

I'm female, mid-twenties, and over the past 3-4 months have lost almost all interest in sex. What might be going wrong? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 7 answers

Absolutely no sex drive what to do?

I have trouble wanting to have sex. Considering that we just got married 1 year ago this is really a problem for my relationship. Did this happen to you and how did you fix it? I am overweight with like 30 pounds extra so obviously loosing the 30 pounds would help I think I also take birth control- sprintec now- but was put on loestrin maybe that will help better. I don't know what else to do. What helped you? Thanks
posted by barexamfreak on Apr 15, 2015 - 15 answers

How do I communicate better when I'm about to, erm, get my freak on?

Exactly as it says on the tin. How do, without faking it, I be more upfront about my dating/sexual inexperience with my potential partners, and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 21 answers

Sex Therapy Books or other resources

My wife told me last night that she has lost interest in sex. We'd like to go see a couples sex therapist, but that's not something we can afford at the moment. Until that changes, can you recommend books or online resources that might be able to help us?
posted by moonroof on Apr 7, 2015 - 14 answers

Big difference in age/experience on a first date and if something more.

So I am a 34 male and I knowingly asked a 19-20-21-ish-year-old on a coffee date. I mentioned the age difference to her when I did so. She said, "Sure." If we go on more dates after this date and/or become physically intimate, how can I minimize the chance that she will retrospectively feel preyed upon or taken advantage of in X years? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Apr 6, 2015 - 99 answers

Low on $$, need help deciding on doing nude photography...

I've been unemployed for some time, receiving unemployment, savings dwindling. I got a seemingly lucrative offer to model for nude, specificly fetish-art modeling pics, and need help deciding whether to take it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2015 - 20 answers

Sensual Songs

Tell me about some songs that are sensual in the way that "Take Me to Church" is, but aren't overtly, explicitly sexual the way that "Do Me!" or "Let's Get It On" are. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2015 - 60 answers

Help me want to have sex

Mid 30s heterosexual man wanting to learn how to desire and enjoy sex with a partner (not masturbation). While I have a healthy libido/masturbate regularly/etc, I have little emotional interest in having actual sex. Let me first say that I understand therapy is likely needed, but I would very much appreciate feedback beyond go see a therapist. Throwaway email: amfpost@lycos.com [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

How can I (male) delay orgasm?

I'm a mid-40s male and my entire life I've been a hair-trigger. Not a premature orgasm, but over very fast. Google-fu came up with scams and creams, but is there any way to fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2015 - 14 answers

My husband will not have sex with me. Can I hear it from the men?

I have been married for 8 years. We have one son, he is 6. I would love to give him a sibling, but it is very hard to get my husband interested in sex. Apart from the procreative goal, it is very lonely and hurtful living with someone who to all intents and purposes does not find me attractive. I am slim, reasonably fit and look good for my age (late thirties-he is a few years older). He is otherwise loving and affectionate. What do you men say? Why would you go off your own wife sexually? [more inside]
posted by millionpieces on Mar 18, 2015 - 37 answers

Redirecting sexual energy

I have a healthy sexual appetite, but can't have sex right now. What do I do with all of this energy in the meantime? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2015 - 15 answers

Help me fulfill my partner's fantasy in the most creative ways possible

NSFW. My SO recently confessed a sexual fantasy of his which requires some advance brainstorming on my part, as it centers around a sexy game. Any suggestions are much appreciated! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 10 answers

Great connection, terrible sex

I asked a friend on a date recently. The date went really, really well, until we tried to have sex. Now I'm not sure if I should try again, or see if I can get out and save the friendship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 25 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Can tantra be therapeutic?

I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while for various reasons, including coming to terms with rape and a generally traumatic sexual history. My issues with sex have basically made any relationships impossible and at this point I’ve been single and celibate for five years. I would like to change this - or at least to feel like I have the ability to have a fulfilling sexual life if I want to. My therapist has suggested that I look into tantra and has recommended a practitioner for one-on-one work and also an organization that runs weekend courses for groups. Is this legit and/or a good idea? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2015 - 12 answers

Sex Anxiety Ruining Dating

How do I - healthy 20-something male - have a normal dating life when my libido seems to wax and wane? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2015 - 18 answers

Help me blow him away...

I'm no stranger to blow jobs, and I'm not bad at them by far, but I still want to know: what is the move that blows you/your partner's mind out of the water?
posted by megan_magnolia on Feb 26, 2015 - 18 answers

Is there a safe way to make lube smell better?

So, I ordered some lube online (Please Cream) and while it works fine, it doesn't smell the best. Is there anything I can add to it to make it smell better? [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Feb 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Promiscuous Male Artists

Can you give me examples of male visual artists who are and were known for their gratuitous sexual behavior? Sexuality doesn't matter, and neither does period or style. I'm very curious. Thank you.
posted by CyborgHag on Feb 10, 2015 - 22 answers

How do I do casual sex?

I'm trying to loosen up, have fun, and gain more sexual experience; however, I tend to be a bit emotional. By the same token I also tend to feel tied down sometimes in serious relationships and I want to "look around" more before deciding to be in a serious relationship. Looking for ideas on how to balance that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2015 - 20 answers

help me become a dom...

we're both total subs (sexually, it doesn't extend beyond the bedroom). he *really* wants to be dominated. how do i switch my thinking and give him the experience he wants?
posted by megan_magnolia on Feb 9, 2015 - 10 answers

Is this guy interested in dating or just hooking up?

I met this 20-something guy through a mutual friend at a party and we've been texting each other for the past week. He insisted that we should go out drinking sometimes. When I talked to the mutual friend about him, she said that he thinks I'm cute, but she also mentioned that he admitted he had slept with at least 6 girls, of which only 1 was a serious girlfriend. Is there a good odd that he's only into me for sex? How can I tell? I'm at the point in my life where I want a serious relationship, and I'm not sure if I should give this guy a chance. Thanks for your help!
posted by missybitsy on Feb 3, 2015 - 22 answers

I'm having erectile dysfunction issues.

So I'm having trouble getting it up, and I want to be able to have sex with my girlfriend. So. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2015 - 10 answers

To the Sex(t) Level

I want to introduce more kink and toys to sexy time with the Mr. I need to first get over my embarrassment of kink and sex toys so that I can then apply your lessons for how to introduce kink and sex toys to the Mr. [more inside]
posted by tafetta, darling! on Jan 28, 2015 - 18 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

[nsfw] Help me keep my boat out at sea when there's motion in the ocean.

I'm a dude getting distracted during sex. What's going on and how do I "fix" this? [more inside]
posted by Giggilituffin on Jan 23, 2015 - 11 answers

Condoms breaking

I'm dating someone new and condoms have been breaking at an alarming rate. I'm bewildered about what's going on and how to fix it. (NSFW ish stuff inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2015 - 50 answers

Is there a place in the kink community for the not-especially-kinky?

I am interested in attending a kink-community meetup in a mid-size, left-leaning U.S. city and I am wondering what to expect, and whether it seems likely that I would meet any like-minded people and sex partners. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 9, 2015 - 22 answers

Help us make sex at each other pls thx.

My boyfriend of the past 4 months and I are still struggling to have consistently successful sex with each other for a number of reasons and I need suggestions for things we can do to fix it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 30 answers

How can I be a safe painslut?

I realized awhile ago I'm a bit of a painslut. I finally have a partner who is willing to explore that with me. However, I apparently don't know my limits or when to say stop. This has resulted in some minor injuries (details inside). How can I explore this aspect of my sexuality safely? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 6 answers

Is there really a point to "gender" verification?

Is there any real, concrete reason for genetically testing female athletes like Castor Semenya? It seems to me to be an exercise in gender policing and humiliation rather than anything else. [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on Dec 22, 2014 - 19 answers

I want to want you to want it (that way)

I am having trouble directing my kinky desires towards my long-term partner. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 8 answers

Sex Pain

I'm starting to be sexually active after a long hiatus. I'm having issues that I've never had before. Let me tell you the details! [more inside]
posted by kittensofthenight on Dec 21, 2014 - 18 answers

Post-coital repulsion

I use sex-related words in my question, so I've placed it in the extended area in case anyone is browsing at a prudish workplace. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 17 answers

How do I protect myself emotionally as a submissive?

I'm a bi female in my early 30s, just out of a decade long very vanilla relationship. I live in NYC and have been exploring my submissive side. Really enjoying it. Like, alot. I have never had better sex in my life and it is amazing. I am extremely submissive and I'm having a little bit of difficultly making sure I am emotionally safe. Because of the nature of my situation, I can't really talk to my usual family or friend connections when I need to vent. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Help me un-tight my business and enjoy sex

I really want to enjoy sex but my vagina is too tight for that to happen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2014 - 23 answers

Condom broke, what next? PEP usage with a partner of unknown status

I'm a late-thirties bi man who's relatively new to having sex with men - like, total partner count under 5. Last night I went home with a guy I sort-of knew, which is not something I've ever done before. The condom broke while I was bottoming and he didn't notice until afterwards. What next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2014 - 17 answers

Gettin' it on

How have you reconciled differing sex drives? [more inside]
posted by little beast on Nov 26, 2014 - 11 answers

Do sex drives ever INCREASE after 3+ years in a relationship?

My SO and I have been growing together more and more in the last three years. However, one thing seems to grow less and less, and as we move closer to thinking about marriage, I am a little concerned that our sex drives are mismatched for a very long term relationship. I am 23 and she is 21. I've heard a ton of anecdotes about women "waking up" sexually around 25. Is it realistic for me to think that that could be a possibility? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2014 - 33 answers

I want to have sex.

My ex of three years and I broke up a few days ago. Initially he told me that the main reason was our different feelings about marriage (see previous posts), but upon further discussion, he said the biggest issue was our lack of intimacy. [more inside]
posted by anotheraccount on Nov 23, 2014 - 20 answers

Best lube?

Update on this guy: http://ask.metafilter.com/87425/best-lube 6 years later, as there may be new stuff on the market. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2014 - 17 answers

Is skipping oral sex ok?

A recurring situation in my life: Meet a great girl, start sexy time, feel erect from kissing and fondling (good!), the girl goes down on me and then I completely lose my erection (bad). I cannot remember a time in my life that I've enjoyed oral sex. Is there something wrong with me? [more inside]
posted by pzad on Nov 15, 2014 - 43 answers

Help me fix my negative feelings about sex

I feel strong negative feelings about my girlfriend's sexual past. These feelings are making me hate myself, and pull away emotionally from the relationship. More inside [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 14, 2014 - 25 answers

One night stand confusion

Does this have potential to turn into a relationship? [more inside]
posted by akita on Nov 13, 2014 - 24 answers

Halp! First experience with nonmonogamy

First non monogamous relationship. First serious post-marriage relationship. Lots of feelings. Need a navigator. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2014 - 39 answers

Help us help our sex life

Early twenties couple fumbling through sex. Him: sometimes can't keep up an erection, or has to keep stopping and starting. Me: can't orgasm and it all feels a bit lukewarm. I'm worried that this will eventually kill our relationship. Sorry for the wall of text but I'm getting a bit desperate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2014 - 27 answers

Fraught discussion of my sexual history with current partner

I'm a mid-20s dude in a solid, fulfilling relationship with a woman in her early 20s, who we'll call G. G and I see eye-to-eye on pretty much everything important, but one sticking point has come up with regards to my sexual history that's bothering us both quite a bit. [Details are probably NSFW] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2014 - 68 answers

Help resolve a hygiene debate.

Should you wash your hands after touching genitals (your own and/or a partner's)? Assume the partners in question are monogamous and STD's are not a concern. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 19, 2014 - 35 answers

Polyandry - tell me everything

I'm writing a dystopian sci fi novel and it's coming along sparkingly. Yay. One of the plot lines involves a shortage of women, and the development of new family units utilising polyandry. I'm looking for resources - primarily non-fiction - of both positive and negative experiences of polyandry. [more inside]
posted by b33j on Oct 17, 2014 - 10 answers

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