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142 posts tagged with separation.
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How to move past in - laws taking sides?

Husband and I have been married for many years and working through some relationship difficulties. This summer I felt things were not repairable and asked for a separation in prep for a divorce [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Nov 8, 2014 - 51 answers

Cohabitation Agreement - Lawyers Disagree. I am confused by it all.

I know you are not my lawyer and this is not legal advice. I have a lawyer and my partner has a lawyer, but I am still rather confused. We are working on a cohabitation agreement and there is one outstanding issue that is seems to be holding us up -- the lawyers don't agree. I need a) help understanding the issue b) phrasing the question to my lawyer. [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Nov 5, 2014 - 18 answers

How to help her get back on her feet.

She would dump the two-timing jerk, but then she'd be out on the street. Help. [more inside]
posted by chocolatepeanutbuttercup on Oct 30, 2014 - 17 answers

How do I help an ex - or not - through impending bereavement?

My husband and I are separated, and he just called to say his father is seriously ill in hospital with multiple organ failure and the prognosis is pretty hopeless. I don't know what my role is supposed to be in this, if any. I'm looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation please. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Sep 20, 2014 - 21 answers

How does one document emotional and verbal abuse?

I am trying to get an idea of how to document emotional abuse. My sister is in an abusive relationship and I am of the opinion that separation is not the worst idea. I am at my wit's end trying to figure out what to do to help my sister. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2014 - 8 answers

Divorce: who keeps the Engagement and Wedding rings?

I am in the very early stages of separating from my husband. He wants me to give my engagement ring back to him when we divorce. I don't agree. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2014 - 41 answers

Amicable breakup - how not to make it suck any more than it does

I haven't navigated a breakup in a while now. Please share your breakup wisdom and help me to try and keep everything the best it can be in the circumstances. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 24 answers

Your parents divorced? Tell me about it.

I want to leave my husband and need to understand the potential impact to my daughters, aged 10 and 11. Please tell me what your parents' divorce was like, and the different ways in which it affected you. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Jul 31, 2014 - 47 answers

Should I get back together with my ex-wife?

I could really use some input to help me sort through all of this. At 40 years old, she was having a lesbian affair and asked me to move out. I was devastated. But in hindsight, our marriage wasn't a good one. And I suppose it was just a matter of time before something came along to unravel the whole thing. Now she wants me back. I have no clue how I even feel, much less if I even want to try again. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by normal_guy on Jul 17, 2014 - 37 answers

Breaking up/co-parenting with a difficult person

I've decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance of nearly 6 years. We have a 3 year old. I've realized I would rather be single/co-parenting than have my child see such an unhappy relationship. My boyfriend is regularly verbally/emotionally abusive to me in front of our child, and has a history of being emotionally withdrawn. For the purpose of this question please assume that we are definitely breaking up and that there is no other option for me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2014 - 33 answers

Should I stay or should I go now?

I’m no longer in love with my fiance and I’m not sure how I should proceed. The complicating factor is our children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2014 - 28 answers

Always needing a rescuer?

My significant other (female, early 20s) is amazing in all respects, but whenever faced with a problem whether large or small it seems like her instinct is to depend on other people to come and rescue her. What is this called? How do I help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 31 answers

How do people find money to move out when separating or divorcing?

A asks B for a divorce. B is not surprised. B agrees, even though B would prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than be branded with a scarlet D*. A wants to move out ASAP. Generally speaking, how do the financial logistics of this work? No special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 17 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

Support Groups for adult children with estranged families?

Is there such a thing? I tried searching some, but I dunno, maybe I'm not searching right because I didn't find anything. [more inside]
posted by manderin on Nov 5, 2013 - 6 answers

My future just doesn't fit anymore

When leaving is terrifying, but staying's unbearable: please help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by morninganyway on Nov 1, 2013 - 42 answers

Separation, Australian Version

Asking for a friend..... Trying to keep to the relevant details. For a while now my friend and his wife have been struggling (married 19 years, three kids, oldest 17, youngest 10). It all came to ahead two weeks ago and my friend left (was forced out?) the family home and went to stay with his parents. They are trying counseling and its early days I know but it isn't looking very positive and he would like some advice if the worst does happen..... [more inside]
posted by Lesium on Oct 7, 2013 - 9 answers

What the hell did I just do?

I have asked a previous question about my situation and was really grateful for the advice. So last week I took it, and I told my SO that I thought we weren’t working and it would be better for both of us if we separated. So we did at the weekend. And now I don’t know if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Where do I go from here? Oh so many, many details below. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Sep 30, 2013 - 25 answers

How much help should I accept from my husband who left me?

After being partners for 18 years, including 10 years of marriage, this week my husband left me because he "loves me but isn't in love with me". He is being very kind about it, which I deeply appreciate, but I don't know how much of his help it is healthy for me to accept? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2013 - 52 answers

Dating someone separated.

I found out that my boyfriend is technically not divorced. This (as you might imagine) has been a major source of stress for me - what it comes down to is that he and his ex are staying married for insurance reasons, but will file by the new year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2013 - 70 answers

the (housing) logistics of separation

My husband and I have decided to separate. We have 2 daughters (12 and 2) and a house and live in a major city where rent is astronomical. How on earth does this work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2013 - 13 answers

Breaking up; who should get the dog?

My relationship has ended quite dramatically and permanently. We need a completely clean break, which is mostly doable. One problem: we have a dog. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by Errant on Aug 2, 2013 - 102 answers

How hard should reconciliation be?

My wife and I separated at the end of last year for a three-month period. We've now ended our separation and have moved back in together. Whilst things are often wonderful, they're equally as often stressful and hard work. My question is: how hard should it be? Snowflakes, wall-of-text inside. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jul 24, 2013 - 28 answers

How do I help my sister whose marriage is on the rocks?

Ten year marriage that includes a 4 yr old kid is about to fall apart. How can I help directly or help them help themselves through this rocky period? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2013 - 8 answers

Friend just gave birth. Leaving her husband. What does she need to know?

Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2013 - 19 answers

Separation of Powers

The subsection of the Colorado Constitution, “General Consideration” under Article III, Distribution of Powers, gives more than thirty-five examples of why and how separation of powers between the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government must be. They all seem to say the same thing, but they all are justified by different dictums, references and notations. Why, at least in Colorado and I suspect, in other states, is there the need for so much specificity as it relates to the republican tripartite system?
posted by CollectiveMind on Jun 10, 2013 - 4 answers

Who's the (Grand)Daddy?

Asking for a non MeFi friend. His daughter is a single parent to a 3 year old girl, his only grandchild. There is no contact with the father for Reasons. Friend is separated himself. His granddaughter adores him and he loves to babysit her when he can (they live in another city about an hour away), about once a week for a day. He also Skypes her during the week. For the last while she has been referring to him as “Daddy”. Apparently she was being teased at nursery for not having a Dad (at 3!) and she told them that she did have a Daddy, and he was called Granddad. Her Mum thought this was hilarious. Today I was visiting with both of them and she wrote his name (just scribbles) and said “That’s your name.” He said “Granddad?” and she said, “No. Daddy”. Does this matter in any way? [more inside]
posted by billiebee on Jun 3, 2013 - 22 answers

Here we go again...?

My long-term partner and I had relationship problems, spent some time apart, and are in the process of getting our lives back into one home. Now that I've moved my stuff back in, problems that I thought we'd dealt with are happening again. Is it time to go back to therapy or is there something else I can be doing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2013 - 44 answers

Have you had to divorce your best friend?

My husband of 8 years and I have come to an impasse: he wants a free-love, open relationship because he stifled his sexuality as a religious person before we were married, and I want...well, not that. How do I move forward when it means breaking the most important bond I have? [more inside]
posted by SarahBellum on May 7, 2013 - 28 answers

Why is my heart so bent out of shape?

I went on two dates with a guy and we clicked so hard. I ended it because he's recently separated from his wife and I'm moving out of state. WHY do I feel so torn up? It's only been two dates! [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso on May 3, 2013 - 15 answers

Putting a Humpty-Dumpty marriage together again.

My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Is good really the enemy of great in relationships?

My boyfriend has talked about us separating, but it seems like he still wants to be with me. I think he's overanalyzing our relationship to death, and I want to talk to him about how relationships take work and we should refocus on what's important to us, but is that true? How would that look, what would we do? [more inside]
posted by brisquette on Mar 29, 2013 - 20 answers

Prepping for amicable split... Cliff Notes me

Spouse and I calmly decided it's over. Help me prepare. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 15 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

What is your perspective on the "ideal" child custody arrangements?

While recognizing that I'd like your advice on the principles and best practices of a shared child custody agreement. I currently share both joint and physical custody with my daughter's mother, and things are going just fine, but wondering if you know of any resources (online, written, or your own experiences) to help me consider what is best for my daughter now and in the future, and maybe it can serve as a general resource for other parents' looking to establish positive custody agreements. [more inside]
posted by RajahKing on Feb 7, 2013 - 21 answers

Is it still your business even though I left?

I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this? (I've tried to anonymise this as best I can) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2013 - 45 answers

Division of marital assets in Canada via RRSP and home equity.

Division of marital assets in Canada via RRSP and home equity. What are the pros and cons and what should be considered? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Jan 4, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm sorry I don't feel pain the way you think I should, but...

A couple of weeks ago, I moved out of my marital home (details in my posting history). Whilst I seem to be doing okay, most people expect me to not be. In fact, they seem to expect a fragility and sadness from me that I'm not feeling even remotely. This has lead to some judgements from people that I could have done without. How can I navigate the sympathy of folks during the holiday season without having to pretend to be an emotional mess (which I'm not) and without suffering judgement from people who don't know the whole story (Which I can happily live without). [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Dec 22, 2012 - 27 answers

Help me fix my debt fiasco

Please help me get my financial situation in order during a separation from my husband. Looking for advice and suggestions from your own experience, or factual knowledge of "legal separation" in Washington state. Also looking for personal experiences relating to credit counseling, credit attorneys, etc. [more inside]
posted by virginia_clemm on Dec 7, 2012 - 7 answers

Help me get to January

Marriage fizzling; need your best holiday coping methods to get through the rest of the year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

There's something missing in my house.

My partner has temporarily moved out due to financial difficulty. Does the pain ever end? [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Dec 1, 2012 - 31 answers

Selfish or selfless? I can't tell.

I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 23, 2012 - 69 answers

Health Insurance Coverage for Separated Spouse?

I have a question regarding employer's health insurance coverage of a separated spouse. I understand that the information I might (hopefully) be given would be general and not necessarily pertinent in my case but since it's close to a holiday and I cannot get more specific information until next week, I'm hoping that some general info will calm the freakout I feel just around the corner. [more inside]
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit on Nov 20, 2012 - 9 answers

Surviving a separation, part 2: boundary setting!

Hoping for advice on setting boundaries within a co-parenting relationship following a marital separation. [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on Nov 9, 2012 - 27 answers

Stuck on the cusp; how to step over?

You decided to leave your marriage, which has had good times but also so many bad ones. You finally came to the point where you realised you had to get out; how did you go from realising it to actually doing it, despite the inertia of being with someone whom you still loved (just not enough to overcome all the negatives in the marriage any more)? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 5, 2012 - 33 answers

How to get over insecurity about boyfriend's divorce?

What can I do to stop insecurity from boyfriend's from seeing into our relationship? The divorce isn't final, and it's placing a strain on our relationship. I'm afraid that my anger/confusion/fear may sabotage the relationship. [more inside]
posted by lastcall17 on Oct 28, 2012 - 14 answers

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this?

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2012 - 65 answers

How to deal with a boyfriend who is "needy"?

How do I help my boyfriend, who I think has adult separation anxiety disorder? How do I deal with his neediness without feeling unhappy or guilty? [more inside]
posted by DianaV on Oct 5, 2012 - 20 answers

Can a healthy marriage last?

How do I regain my trust in marriage when my role models of healthy marriage are separating? [more inside]
posted by horizonseeker on Oct 5, 2012 - 16 answers

Fuckin' Maryland Divorces, How Do THEY Work?

Asking for a very dear friend, YANAL/YANHL/TINLA/OMG/WTF: my friend wants to divorce her emotionally-abusive husband. He doesn't want a divorce and intends to fight her tooth and nail. They live in MD. What to do? [more inside]
posted by julthumbscrew on Sep 27, 2012 - 15 answers

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