23 posts tagged with selfish.
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Am I too selfish? Help me be more altruistic.

Recent situations have shown me that I am not helpful enough and that I'm being selfish. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon on Jan 19, 2017 - 13 answers

I messed up big time in my relationship. Now what?

Long story short, I didn't fulfill a promise to help my fiance while he was under a lot of stress preparing for an extremely important presentation this morning. He is understandably very upset and disappointed in me. I feel terrible and have apologized repeatedly, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened in the first place and that this isn't the first time I've acted thoughtlessly and selfishly around him. How can we move past this? And how can I stop being so self-centered time and again? More inside. [more inside]
posted by st elmo's fire on Jan 11, 2017 - 136 answers

How to stop guilt about putting your self first

What helped you stop fearing that you're a bad person for putting your needs before others wants, when those people were really suffering? (Context: relatiobships) [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Aug 31, 2016 - 17 answers

How long should I stay with an ailing parent, if I'm deeply depressed?

...Jeez, even typing that sounds bad. My mother has been given 2-3 weeks to live, based on a diagnosis of Acute Leukemia. She's also got a compromised immune system, due to a liver transplant over 20 years ago. I flew out immediately when she was given the diagnosis, and it is now going in to our 3rd week. She's a fighter, and I knew that. But I'm a continent and several time zones away from my life and my job and so very depressed. She's still going strong - - tired, but strong. And I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2016 - 23 answers

Coming to terms with yourself and your thoughts

I have a hard time making decisions or trusting my gut. I'm a big worrier and I am hard on myself. I need an objective opinion on thoughts I have been struggling with regarding my relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2015 - 15 answers

What's the most rewarding charity to give to, in a selfish sense?

I'd like to give money to charity regularly, but I'm still a little bit selfish so I'd like to see some kind of direct outcome from my donation, rather than feeling like it's a small drop in a giant pot of money. So, charities like Cancer Research, Oxfam, Save the Children - these are all great things which I support in various ways but I would consider those to be "giant pots of money" for the purpose of this question. [more inside]
posted by hoverboards don't work on water on Sep 26, 2015 - 22 answers

Dating (and friendship): Screening for reliability

How do you screen for reliability and filter out self-centered/selfish nature in dating in real life and online dating? And, how do you find out whether a person (for dating or friendship) is a 'giver' or a 'taker'? By reliability and being a giver, I don't mean something as trivial as calling when they say they will. I mean more like being there for you when you are going through one or more major challenging life events, putting the relationship and "us" before individual interests especially when the going gets rough for you and not for them individually. Does this kind of reliability even exist among partners and can one really, truly, deeply trust another human being or do you feel you always have to watch your back even with a partner of months or years or decades?
posted by xm on May 7, 2013 - 20 answers

Stop Shooting Myself in the Foot

I keep picking women who don't give as much as I feel I give and so I always end up feeling used. And because I keep picking them (even though the last one should've been enough to warn me off of the next one), I also end up feeling stupid too. Meanwhile, I've had women who've given to me the way I've given to those others, but I never seem to end up with them, even though they are exactly what I say I've wanted. How can I keep the good one and stop picking the bad ones? What is my problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2012 - 15 answers

Depends on what your definition of "is" is.

How can I best cope with this relationship impasse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2011 - 54 answers

Am I overreacting?

Am I overreacting to my boyfriend's behaviour? Very confused about recent events and trying to work out what to do. Details and back story under the cut. Anonymous due to private details. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2011 - 50 answers

heartless heartbreaker

Why do I keep stringing people along/breaking their hearts? Or...why do I not seem to be able to love deeply? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2011 - 33 answers

Grief vs Sexuality

How do I reconcile my interests and passions with creativity and human sexuality, in the face of death, grief, and tragedy? Are there any thoughtful heartfelt resources from those who have talked about the two? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Jan 3, 2011 - 10 answers

How to help a person to see the better side(s) of life?

I have been with my girlfriend for what will be 4 months total as of October 4th. Still feels like the “honeymoon” period. Though, neither of us have had the best lives, so meeting each other was a blessing to say the least. Life changing in a lot of ways. The only issue that seems to ever come up doesn't even directly relate to us or our relationship. It's her one friend of 3 years. [more inside]
posted by jolynntech on Sep 24, 2010 - 21 answers

How selfish is too selfish?

How much selfishness is normal in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 19, 2010 - 33 answers

These Days

Help me become less selfish/self-absorbed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 14, 2010 - 16 answers

Am I Selfish?

I have just broken up with my girlfriend, because I can't change. Can you help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2009 - 54 answers

How do I become more humble?

Help me become less selfish [more inside]
posted by Scientifik on Nov 3, 2008 - 19 answers

Can I buy the bride a pair of reality goggles?

What do you do when buying a gift for friends soon to be (re)married but think the happy pair are being selfish twits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2008 - 44 answers

How to handle pushy former flame?

Do I stay or do I go? A former flame wants to be a friend, and I'm honestly at wit's end about what to do. [long explanation] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2008 - 26 answers

My mother-in-law secretly baptized my Jewish children

I'm Jewish. My wife converted many years ago. I found out that my Mother-In-Law secretly baptized my children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2007 - 114 answers

Does helping others succeed hurt your own success?

Can helping aspiring authors succeed somehow help me, or does it hurt my own chances of being published? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 22, 2006 - 19 answers

selfish to confess a crush?

Would confessing my crush be selfish? [more inside]
posted by invitapriore on Jul 26, 2006 - 27 answers

Schizophrenics are selfish?

Are schizophrenics really selfish? (warning: spoilers to an old episode of House) [more inside]
posted by dagnyscott on Jun 16, 2006 - 15 answers

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