I'm pretty sure I have some sort of anxiety problem, and it's been getting worse lately. I've never taken meds or been to therapy, though I know that I probably should. However, I'm about to embark on a month-long vacation, so I'll have to wait until I get back to pursue them. What are some self-help strategies that I can use in the meantime? [more inside]
What resources are useful for adults with an autism spectrum disorder (Asperger Syndrome)? Looking for books and resources oriented toward self-help, with a particular focus on cognitive/linguistic and sensory issues, though resources on social issues are welcome too. [more inside]
Were you an unfocused, chronically late, procrastinating, disorganized adult who become someone with diligence, persistence, and the ability to set and succeed at long-term goals? I can form schedules, organizational systems, and have lofty long-term goals, but fail at implementation. I am the kid who eats the marshmallow before the researcher leaves the room. Have you been me, and become someone else? What were your strategies for change? [more inside]
How does one become more mature, if they are currently very emotionally immature? [more inside]
What is the best way to start lecturing on a new self-help / philosophy type concept? Is it better to organize your own lectures first, or to join various existing conferences? If the former, does anyone have any tips or pointers to books on how best to organize and effectively publicize these lectures, and stories about how others have done it? If the latter, does anyone have any tips on how to successfully apply for a speaking slot at a conference? No blog-related tips, please.
How do I stop various self-destructive habits (pornography, time-wasting websites, etc.) that I know are going to ruin my life and my marriage? [more inside]
I found a scrap of paper and I'm very curious about it. It looks like a syllabus or course notes, and it refers to aggressors, defenders, and using will and visualization. Full text inside. [more inside]
Expert self-managers, how do you do it? [more inside]
I have a self deprecating sense of humour and I've come to realise that I can take it too far. I can sometimes play dumb and it gives the impression that I don't know what I'm doing/talking about. But at this point in my life/career, I do!! (in certain areas, I think). Help me change my wiring. [more inside]
I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life. This New Year's has been an introspective one for me, and has had me really contemplating my life's purpose - what I have accomplished thus far, and what I wish to accomplish from this point on. I've been doing some reading on the importance of finding and nurturing a purpose in one's life, which has certainly made a positive impact on my overall attitude and outlook. I want to discover more standouts from any genre - self-help, goal-setting, philosophical or otherwise - that have helped you, my fellow mefites, see the world and your respective circumstances in in a different, more positive light. [more inside]
I'm pretty depressed and want to become a monk temporarily to help me find myself again and be better person. Is this an unethical reason to be a monk? [more inside]
I'm trying to recall a business/self-help book. The main idea was that setting goals and pacing yourself is counterproductive, and that accomplishment happens by immersing one's self in a big idea. Steve Jobs, etc. I believe the cover was an illustration of a businessman opening a shirt to reveal a superhero costume. There may have been a critique of Tony Schwartz' energy management model inside. It was probably written in the last ten years. Can anyone name the book?
During my studies I've dragged myself into some sort of downward spiral: falling behind multiple times but still managing to pick myself up, only to find myself struggling even more. I've now arrived at a point where I feel completely broken and depressed. I need to find a way to start off again without feeling overwhelmed by everything else that still needs to, or can be done. I seems the only way to regain control is if I could be as carefree as I was as a freshman. [more inside]
What have you been wrong about, realized it, and it changed your life? I remember reading Albert Ellis' wonderful self-help book A Guide to Rational Living where he gives a great list of irrational and self-defeating beliefs that people have. Among these beliefs was the importance people placed on other's opinion of them as well the emphasis people placed on being perfectionistic in their own lives. Much of this underlies Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but the effect is even more prevalent than that. We all have had beliefs that have held us back, and I'm curious as to what things you once believed that were holding you back in your personal or professional life. Anything will do. It can be anything from knowing the importance of making good first impressions to the need for keeping oneself physically fit even when one doesn't want to. I'm looking to see whether I share of any of these traits or not. So what are the beliefs that have held you back or others that you know?
I have rapid and extreme mood swings and am generally empty and anxious. I've got all the time in the world. What should I try, medication, self-help or therapy wise to get better and find happiness? [more inside]
The fact I never liked the "traditional" forms of exercise never bothered me before. That is, until it recently dawned on me activities like going to the gym or running might be the only options I have left. But, with sensitive knees and shins from growing quickly and the residual effects of childhood asthma still occasionally inhibiting my ability to do cardio, these activities seem more foreign than ever. What can I do? [more inside]
Between the writers' conferences, workshops, organizations, academic degrees, web sites, online fora, regional groups, and how-to books that seem to fill this country, it appears that every third American more or less seriously wants to be a writer. (UK seems to have a bit of the fever as well.) Is the same obsession at play elsewhere, that is, in the non-English speaking world? [more inside]
What books/podcasts/videos have content similar to est/Landmark Forum? [more inside]
My sweet baby sister is struggling with some depression and self-esteem issues. She's not interested in therapy at this point but she's open to doing some self-help/at-home work. What book shoud I get her? [more inside]
What $20 item will help me remember that I can make better use of my time than playing video games? Exciting snowflakes inside! [more inside]
My life is a mess right now, and I can't seem to start taking the steps I need to take to dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Have you felt one way that was impotent or powerless, but now you feel calm and empowered? And the only thing that changed was you? [more inside]
I am looking for books or websites that are for people after they have left their abusive partner. [more inside]
Two days ago I had some sort of emotional/mental breakdown. I got help in the immediate sense, but I'm not sure how to process and get over it. [more inside]
Have you successfully made an intentional transition from introversion (socialization = draining) to extroversion (socialization = sustaining)? If so, please step inside and share your insights with me. [more inside]
Based on this thread, touch typing has changed people's lives. I have been watching my fingers type for more than forty years, so I may not be able to make the change, but I'm willing to put forth a good effort. What software-based training program is likely to be effective to help an adult fast finger-typist become a fast(er?) touch typist?
Please recommend some self-help books for those who hate self-help books. Humor, cynicism, and a firm basis in science/psychology is especially appreciated. [more inside]
Therapy hasn't helped in the past. But I need to do something, FFS. What else should I try? [more inside]
Has anyone read a good self-help book about dealing with stressful jobs/workplaces? [more inside]
The times when I am most content and at peace are the times that I am most able to live in the present - unattached to outcomes, not falling into "what ifs", not "writing the script", etc. I've also been at my most successful when I've had that attitude. Unfortunately, it's also pretty rare that I'm able to get there. What books, recordings, techniques, anything else help you reach that "it is what it is and it's all ok" attitude?
I am unnecessarily and randomly critical of people. It is worse when I am stressed. This impacts my friendships, home life, and work. I need to stop. [more inside]
Self-help without all the cheesy capitalist, CEO-worship and consumerism... does it exist? [more inside]
I'm finally processing the reality of being a victim of online enticement by a child predator. Besides therapy, are there any good resources for helping deal with the shame? [more inside]
"Do what makes you happy" - awful career advice? [more inside]
It seems like a lot of what psychologists do is provide tools for processing troublesome beliefs, experiences, etc. in a healthy way. Are there books that the hive mind would recommend that teach some of these tools to non-psychologists for the purpose of being able to use these techniques in their own lives? I've envisioning something less dense than a college textbook but more rigorous than a walk through the self-help section at a bookstore. Recommendations are welcome for general techniques/tools as well as topically oriented works, such as books focused on techniques specific for relationships, money problems, or other common sources of stress and conflict.
I went to my first ever 12-step anonymous help group meeting. (For the moment, I won't say which, it's irrelevant.) I had a few questions I'm hoping those with experience can help me with. [more inside]
Is Emotions Anonymous really as culty as it seems to be? [more inside]
Am I a jerk? If so, how do I stop being one? [more inside]
Are there any personal development books that aren't a bunch of woo? [more inside]
I'm almost finished reading The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. Can you recommend any books that are similar in approach but deal with a wider focus, that is, setting medium- and long-term goals? [more inside]
I'm an anxious gal who finds that reading books about anxiety, self-compassion, mindfulness and meditation really helps me set a plan for what to do and how to get better. But there are so many of these books, I don't know where to start. What books would you recommend? [more inside]
From the article in this post: "...there actually is some pretty good research on how to become happier and how to overcome personal difficulties that can be done relatively simply but which the self-help industry ignores." Well, I'm game. What simple, scientifically validated ways exist to become happier and overcome difficulties? [more inside]
I am looking for a service that will let me create messages that interrupt me at randomized intervals while I'm using my laptop.
Please help me find a service or tool that will let me create messages that interrupt me at randomized intervals while I'm using my laptop. Probably this would be classed as a productivity or self-help app, but I can't find anything relevant via Google or poking around sites like Lifehacker. [more inside]
Self-actualization in a box: I'm searching for a book or journal or any other resource that has daily guided exercises to help you become a more creative/emotionally healthy/well-rounded individual. Sort of like "Purpose-Driven Life", but not *as* Christian-y (though I'm not entirely opposed to religious-based resources) [more inside]
My significant other is interested in attending a Landmark Education seminar. What should I know? [more inside]
I've spent decades working on the same personal flaws, and despite clear goals and clever attack strategies, nothing ever seems to stick. Is it even possible to permanently "fix" specific aspects of one's character or personality? If so, how? and how long does it take? [more inside]
Please help me find descriptions of the psychology or "standard" process of women who approach and are willing to cheat with married men. [more inside]
I'm looking for personal experiences with self-treating mild-moderate depression. What have you found works for you when in a slump? [more inside]
Need book or other recommendations for dealing with unexpected break-up of a long-term relationship. [more inside]
Can anyone recommend a self-help method for starting one's (emotional) life over again after coming to terms with childhood trauma? [more inside]