Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with self

English Help Please?

kylej — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 14:25:53 -0800

Help me fix some problems with my English essay (scribd link) please! The prompt was:

"Relay a specific incient or story about a time when you feel that you were true to yourself despite contrary influences"

Stuff I need help with:

1. Right now my essay is basically all story with little or no self reflection, is there anyway for me to add self reflection into the essay without messing up the narrative? Or do I need to change the style of my writing?

2. I had to make up some of the dialogue as this happened a few months ago. Does any of it seem fake/contrived?

3. I'm supposed to be economical in my use of language, do any parts seem overly verbose or unnecessary to main point of the essay?

Any general feedback about grammar etc is appreciated also!

If any has an questions about the assignment or my essay I'll be happy to answer.

On a side note, does anyone know another place on the internet where I can share an essay and get good feedback?

Thanks everyone!

Music Videos that leave the band out

occidental — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:04:37 -0800

I am looking for music videos where the band is missing or does not appear in proper form. What are some examples of videos in which the band does not appear either deliberately or in a form other than is standard such as lego figures in "Fell in Love With a Girl" in the White Stripes video? I am not too worried about your interpretation of what this constitutes so feel free to stretch the concept a bit if you have something you feel is relevant. Thanks!

My personality needs a review! It's getting out of control! Help please!

Vandal — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:18:03 -0800

I'm scared of what my personality is coming to be. I recently broke up with my wife that I love but had no passion (kissing) with (2.5 yrs). I feel like I've controlled her a lot, do not want her to express a lot of her own self because I am very meticulous and strategic about my words, how I talk, how I present myself, etc. I think that's the same thing that happened with my ex girlfriend of two years. They love me for who I am, I'm a fun loving guy, good looking, good personality, morals, understanding, extremely caring, etc, but I'm wayyy too much of a presence and seemingly controlling to my loved ones. My dad has been away from home for about 20 years seeing his kids and wife once or twice a year. He recently retired and is back with mom and my siblings (I'm away from them). My mom says he has been trying to take over on how the house is being run and is controlling her ways and words, and how she interacts with others, etc .. in turn driving my mom wild.

I'm an extrovert when I have to be, and I usually don't go out partying etc even though I'm in my late twenties, and very much involved with what I do. My mom was saying since my dad has been back, he hasn't gotten the want to step out of the house and go places, etc.

This is kind of scary as it looks like I'm turning into my dad and I'm seeing through my mom how bad it could get. I don't know what else I should say.. I am seriously getting scared that I will turn into something that I don't want to turn into. I need help and I don't know what to do to turn myself around.. but I think if I wait any longer, my personality would get hard coded and could never be changed, like my dad.

I also have this "I am right", and "Listen to me", attitude that my wife didn't like.

Do you know what I'm talking about? If yes, please help!

ayudela para no ser mojada!

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:06:27 -0800

I'm thinking of using a shell company to hire my Mexican girlfriend, so that she can enter to Canada and be with me. What's the catch? I have met the love of my life and want to help her enter the country. But of course, Canada has just enacted a visa requirement for Mexicans to even visit the country. She applied for a tourist visa and got rejected, on the grounds that she cannot support herself financially (a ridiculous assertion).

So, I am looking at alternatives. I know of people that, under Appendix 1603.D.1 of NAFTA, fall into special professional categories under which a work permit is automatically granted if one has secured a job offer. My girlfriend's qualifications are on the list.

I have a shell company in BC that I have used for contract work in the past. Can I use the company to offer my girlfriend a job? She would then support herself by securing contract work -- clients would be billed by my company and she would pay herself 100% of the revenue my company brings in. She is very good at her profession, so let's assume that it would not be difficult for her to establish herself financially.

What are the legal and tax implications? Has this ever worked? Might either of us get into trouble? Would I lose much money, say, through taxes?

Self Saboteur needs help DESPERATELY!!!

littleredwagon — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 17:23:09 -0800

Was fired from my job yesterday after being on 90 day performance plan for on-call duties(missed pages-3 strike rule). Had job since February. Lost previous job to layoff. Don't know why I had such a hard time with this one task at my job. Got great review otherwise just last week. Been doing psychotherapy to help get over the death of my father in 06/08, twice a week. Questions for mefites... - How do I tell my 4 year old?
- How do I tell my friends and family?
- How do I explain this on a resume?
- How do I keep my marriage together (we've been in counseling since July)
- How do I stop self sabotaging my life and career and get out of my way!?
- How do I survive with large bills and no money after next month (wife has somewhat inconsistent paydays as a writer...but, has landed a large contract recently).
- How do I get back to the salary level I just was at?
- How do I NOT hurt myself?

Any questions? Need clarification? I'll answer. I'm 42, and in IT with somewhat limited IT skill set.

I'm despondent then I'm numb, then back again. My wife is stressed. I'm stressed. How do I make this easier?

Thanks for reading and responding. I'm an idiot, I apologize.

Why can't I teach myself?

joshrholloway — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:34:45 -0800

Why do I suck at teaching myself, reading, and studying? Can I fix it? Right now I have at least seven books about programming on my bookshelf that I have attempted to read. With each of them, I started reading, got excited about what I was learning, then reached a certain point and just quit reading. I don't really think there's a particular reason I can recognize for why I quit reading the books. I think I just get distracted, pick up another one thinking that I'll do better the next time around, and start reading that one only to fall prey to the same fate.

I've pretty much always been this way. It's been a struggle to me to teach anything to myself or do any studying on my own. Most of the things I have really learned in life are things that required me to get really hands-on or things that were taught to me one-on-one by another person. I did very well in school but almost never studied materials outside of lectures.

I think the problem is general enough that it can apply to most subjects, but the specific area that it has seemed to recur in has been computer programming. It's always been a great interest to me and I've always wanted to learn a language, but I always seem to fail at it. It's getting to the point that I think I may just not be cut out for programming... that I'm not the right kind of person for it. That really frustrates me and I want to prove myself wrong.

So is there anyone else out there with this problem? How did you fix it? Am I just going to have to lock myself in a room with as little distraction as possible and force my way through this stuff? Or should I just face the fact that I can't be better at this and try to take classes?

Perspectives from former old maids?

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:34:42 -0800

I'm officially one of the last ones standing. I'm almost 30 and I'm not married. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. Have you ever been last or close to last? How did you deal with the horrible feelings of inadequacy that accompany that? There's a saying I've heard a lot over the years, esp in Self-Improvement mediums: "Why fear the worst, it never happens anyway?" I never really understood that saying because in my life l've been like Job--that which I fear the most often comes upon me." Hence, I find myself now facing 30 and I'm unmarried. That's been my worst fear since I can remember. No matter how hard I tried to not let that be a reality (like I'm in a 3-year relationship with someone I'm not in love with, but who seemed to be into me enough to want to marry me early on but who hasn't proposed so I guess I was wrong), it has.

To make a long story short, in a matter of about 2 years, practically all of my peers, family and acquanitances included, have gotten hitched. Some in formal weddings, some at the Justice of the Peace. For some reason, it seems like they calculated right. They 1) got with a guy who was ready to be married, 2) acted in a way that made them appealing for marriage, and 3) by luck or whatever, got to get hitched before the big 30. So I am virtually alone now in this awkward life stage--not where I want to be and knowing no way whatsoever to get out. I'm officially "that girl," the last one standing, the one approaching old maid territory and it sucks azz. Big time.

Have you ever been last? How did you cope? How did you deal with the self-pity and the pity from others? How did you manage enough energy or faith or whatever to try again, even after you've basically lost the race, you've missed one of your biggest goals.? HOW DO YOU KEEP GOING???

I realize there have been other questions like this, but the last one I read, I don't think the commenters were really empathetic to the poster and the answers were thus skewed. I'm looking not for mean, hard-liner responses, but some real, solid stories of "I feel you, here's how I mentally/emotionally/etc. worked through it." I really need this. Thanks in advance for any help whatsoever.

I was told, "Let other people bless you." How?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:54:24 -0800

"Why do you do that? Stop it. Let other people bless you. You're always supporting others, why don't you let others show support for you?" This is what a co-worker said to me today when scolding me about my not wanting to have a promotion luncheon and moving to another area. This has happened like three times in as many years. After many excuses, I finally conceded to her "I don't know." I've known for a long time that this is a major problem for me. I have a severe mistrust of people. I never expect them to give back what I've given. I've been disappointed many, many times, but honestly, I don't know if I can say even that warrants my mistrust. Over the past few years, I've done things like turn off my phone after I call someone and leave a message, so as not to know if they called back or not, (to avoid disappointment), which would inevitably lead to their saying in our next conversation, "I called you, but you never answer." Still though, I continue my self-destructive ways.

I remember one of the only times I've ever thrown anything for myself, a few years ago for my 25th birthday (I'm 29 now), and in my eyes it was a disaster. No one except a couple reliable friends came, everyone else had an excuse. Even a "close" friend (our b-days are days apart) who I was hosting the party with backed out at the last minute. I was devastated. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt devastated, like, "God, here I am, I made the effort, and it blew up in my face." So of course, I haven't thrown anything since, just attended other people's gatherings. I never get my moment in the sun because I'm afraid people either 1) don't know me enough to attend or 2) don't care enough, both which would hurt like hell. I don't think I can take another 25th b-day party, I just don't. So I never even try.

But it makes me sad. I don't know if I'll ever get married, but over the years, the only thing I've obsessed over when thinking about that day is, "would anyone come? Could I handle being the center of attention like that?" Those thoughts scare the begeezus out of me, truly. But I worry now because this was semi-okay when I was younger, but now it's not a phase, it's become a way of life, and it makes me feel like my life is passing me by. Yet I don't know how to trust others enough to include them in my life in a healthy, normal way. I don't know what to do. Can anyone either 1) tell me what's wrong with me or 2) tell me how to fix it?

P.S. I went to therapy a few years ago (after the 25th b-day debacle, surprise, surprise) for about a year and I found it helpful, but I don't know if that's what I need anymore. I don't know what I need to get past this, I really don't.

How to maintain my sense of self while dating?

plungerjoke — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:00:16 -0800

How do I maintain my sense of self while dating? I am a 23 year old male with limited relationship experience. Here is how it usually goes down: I meet someone who I am compatible with and interested in becoming involved with. Things are great for a little bit, but I spend ALL of my time thinking about the other person. I ended up dropping out of college one time in part because of allowing one month relationship to monopolize my time. (THINKING about it, not necessarily actually being with the other person). After a while (and in the case of the last successful date I went on, immediately), I completely forget how to be myself. Gone is the hilarious, charming person I know I am capable of being and in his place is a boring, edge-less softie who I wouldn't want to hang out with let alone BE. Then, you guessed it, I get dumped, and I understand why at some level.

My friends all seem to think very highly of me, and on most days, I think very highly of me too! What worries me is that maybe a whole lot of what makes me great to know is tied up in being single, rarely having sex, and not getting inordinately upset over either of these things. It sounds like maybe I am answering my own question here, but I'd love it if there was a less gloomy explanation. Is there any way I can maintain who I am when good things are happening to me in the romance department?

related: I would LOVE to date more, and I feel like I am capable of finding people to do it with. However, the amount of thought time I dedicate to it is not practical. People always say things like "you're overthinking it," but I do not know how to NOT do this.

Should I pay an accountant to do my taxes? What are my options to protect me if I do them myself but make an error?

mintchip — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 18:33:50 -0800

Should I pay an accountant to do my taxes? What are my options to protect me if I do them myself but make an error? Ideally, I would like to do my own taxes. However, I have several W2s, some self employment income, a period of 2008 when I was still a full time student, etc...these things make one's taxes that much more complicated.

I did a test run of my 2008 taxes online using H&R Block software. There are a bunch of things on the return I have questions about and I'm wondering if it would just be better to go to a professional. It would cost at least $300.

Is the peace of mind offered by a professional accountant worth it or is it better to learn it oneself? How "dummy proof" is this software? I'm not sure how to handle the questions I have...I guess I'm really afraid to make a mistake and get dinged with back taxes at some future date! I feel that what I really need is a second set of eyes to review my return and check it for errors and also to make sure I didn't miss any deductions...is there any service that offers to check your return for errors without charging a full fee for completing it?

How can I get over this certain kind of "friends" anxiety?

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 08:04:36 -0800

How can I get over this certain kind of "friends" anxiety? I think I have a sort of "loser anxiety syndrome".. for a lack of better terms..

I'm just going to describe it like I feel it.. it's that feeling that I need my phone to ring, or to have some kind of evidence--pictures, but best would be having another person in the picture. Like if a coworker comes over and we're just hanging out, on the inside I'm so desperately hoping my phone rings, even if it's a wrong number or something.

This happens after some time has passed though. Maybe, say the 3rd or 4th time we hang out. The first few times I don't care. It's after I see them enough times or there's some nonverbal sense of us heading to be friends. I guess my anxiety comes from the thought "I don't want this person knowing they're my ONLY friend".

I want them to have some external proof that they're not.. be it people calling me, or hearing me talk about other people.. as in "yesterday me and mike .. or yeah I have this friend, she .." whatever.. but I also can't lie.. I can't do white lies anymore cause I guess I've done that so much, I feel I need to just be "real" about it, but I can't. The loser factor is too much there. Maybe it is the type of people I'm choosing to be friends with too. Not flaky judgmental people, I mean they're good in that way, but they really have vibrant social lives, and maybe can't understand a person like me. These are the people with 128 friends on myspace, and new comments everyday. I'm the one with just Tom and no picture.

I can't seem to choose people I know will be more tolerant of it. I think I really am more like a social person, that's why. I can't hang with other loners, cause it seems they either choose it or it's some force beyond themselves.. while for me I think I don't chose it and people accept me but I just have really weird issues in my head.

Either way, I must of gone through hundreds of potential "friends" because I give up after it reaches that point.

$10000 of unpaid contract work. Is it a refund?

localhuman — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:52:48 -0800

2008 tax question- I'm yet to be paid a large amount of money from a contracting gig last year, and doubt that I ever will receive the amount. How might this affect my self-employment taxes? I was doing contract work for a company last year on a project that ultimately went very bad for them. In the end, they still owed me about $10000 for that work. The business owner promised his honor or something that he would do whatever he could to pay that sum at some point, but I'm not expecting it any time soon, or at all.

So, to get to the point, there is a section in the Self-employment tax deal that has you write down any refunds or rebates you gave to customers. Since I never expect to receive the money, could I some-how grant the company a "refund" or something, call the debts even with them, and then put this amount into the refund field in my taxes?

If so, what kind of documentation would I need to do this?

I should also clarify that I am on amicable terms with this company, and they feel very bad about the situation themselves. We all feel bad about it together, so I have no intention of doing anything legally nasty to them. If I needed help from them to do this, they would probably oblige (unless it really messed up their taxes).

Any ideas? I'd be happy to provide more info on the situation as needed...

how to be smart

thomasck — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 03:56:21 -0800

how do I become smarter in making the best decision when facing a new situation for the first time? Hi

I would like some suggestions as to how I could become a smart person who can be decisive, and make good and snap (under time constraint) decisions when facing a new situation for the first time.

I have thought of the phase 'learning by mistakes' but this won't help me as there are always new problems and situations which I have never encountered before.

I am the type of person who when faced with a new difficult situation, would freeze and become useless and made stupid decisions. I would like to know how I could change myself from that.

This is my background:
I'm a 26 year old male. I have gone through university and graduated with a bachelors degree. My grades weren't great and I have failed a few papers. I am now working full time as an administrator (in the custody department) for a stockbroking firm (work experience approximately 3 years)

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

Thanks
Thomas

Peter Block books and more?

zeek321 — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 09:20:07 -0800

First world problems, analysis paralysis, and personal actualization: Book's similar to Peter Block's The Answer to How Is Yes? I haven't even read this book, actually. But, I probably will. Clarification inside. This is really a two part question. The first question is, do any of Block's more recent books articulate the ideas presented in Answer with more maturity and clarity? (I know all of his books revolve around similar themes.) Second, are there books by other authors that touch on these themes in similar ways?

Here's what led me to this book in the first place: On a personal level, I focus way too much on "how" for the things that matter most to me.

Generally speaking, for most areas of my life, I am neither a procrastinator nor a perfectionist. Most things in life are pass-fail, and I generally "pass" and don't look back. I think I use GTD pretty effectively--it stays in the background, and I spend very little time on it each week.

But when it comes to those most stirring visions, values, and dreams, I'll read twenty books on a subject, learn all sorts of things, but still feel like I'm spinning my wheels. It seems like I need a big, grandiose plan to motivate myself into some semblance of action, but then I waste all my energy by reading twenty books because I'm thinking, I don't know how to make this a reality. Or, If I start moving on this, I'll lose my vision and it'll all slip away. Or, I can't fully articulate this yet. I need to learn more. Rather than enjoying the experience of drawing, for example, I have to pick out and read the best book on learning to draw that there is. So maybe I didn't really want to learn how to draw in the first place? And yet, clearly I feel like something's missing. (Drawing is just an example, even though I did go through that phase. If someone put a gun to my head, I'd go with writing, speaking, and teaching.)

I act intuitively on all sorts of things, but I still succumb to analysis paralysis, over analyzing, and over researching on wants and desires that I can't articulate or won't allow myself to articulate.

Is another book the answer? I would vote, no... :) But clearly, "just do it," isn't going to work, because it would have already. I've skimmed through a bunch of creativity books like Twyla Tharp's, Steven Pressfield's, and several more.

Part of the problem, I think, is a tension between personal actualization and service, and an unflinching awareness of a finite lifespan. I realize these are good problems to have. Anyway, help?

Get out of rut

Penelope — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:11:13 -0800

Stop feeling sorry for myself and lighten up. Help me stop feeling sorry for myself and be able to see beauty and feel peaceful again. It's been 9 years now, with a year inbetween when I felt fine. Suffice to say that at that time I had to make a decision, which I did in an informed way. However I then proceeded to wallow in it quite a bit, probably because (excuses, excuses) at the same time I was getting off my 2nd job post-university and maybe my dad's illness was a contributing factor. He has since passed, about 2 years ago. Anyway I did myself no favours at tha time, rather than getting my butt in gear, I freaked myself out, getting a little housebound, and going to a shrink who I can assume as going by training, but I used his words to freak myself out more. (Rather than reassure me and put things in perspective, he suggested that perhaps I was x,y,z horrible thing, and I really internalised it, as well as all the wacky things my friends said to me. I know it's not their fault, they were only reacting to the wacky way I was acting) It was a pretty nasty spiral, and I've lost touch with my old friends (most of whom moved away anyway), and didn't effectively make closure with my ex, who was at a partner in the decision I made which precipatated the "breakdown". I feel all right now when I take a mild tranquilizer, but it just makes me feel ok in the moment and doesn't spur me on to better places. I think it's not prescriptive, the solution, but rather something within me. Please help me get out of this rut.

Grandiose Self Promotion?

Spurious — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 07:47:19 -0800

Grandiose Self Promotion. Is that the way to get ahead in the long term? I am a young PhD student in a large field (for example: "health care policy"). I consider myself pretty intelligent and disciplined. I do good work and people are slowly but surely taking notice. I try to let my work speak for itself (and me).

Two years ago I stumbled upon this 21-year-old guy (Lets call him Mark) at a mid level US university. Over the past two years he has become a relentless snake at self-promoting himself. Some examples:

1) He takes basic theories created by other researchers and twists it into his own work by adding a bunch of neologisms he creates. For example, "smoking causes cancer" becomes "Horizonless Biological System Shifting".

2) He blogs and twitters at least 20 times a day, making intelligent sounding but completely glib statements. For example: "Health hacking creating new paradigms for social media bioshocks". When pushed, he does not seem to have more than a basic grasp of the field (which he has been a part of for less than 2 years).

3) He gets into controversies by arguing for the exact opposite of the scientific consensus. The first time he did this I thought maybe he really felt that way or was providing a devil's advocate service to the field. But after the tenth time I realize he is just being controversial for the press.

4) To use an analogy: If he was a company, he would be spending 90% of his funds on advertising himself and 10% on actually producing a good product.

But despite this, his career has been on the fast track. While I have spent the last few years in a graduate program, he has gone from an undergrad to an analyst at a top think tank in the field.

Is Mark's strategy to road to long term success? Should I be more like Mark?

Note: I am not competing with Mark for jobs. I am not angry or jealous. I am just sincerely interested if every industry has people like Mark and if their grandiose personal branding (what I consider snake-like level of self promotion) is the path to success?

Specific custom self inking stamps?

simplethings — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 09:11:39 -0800

Can you help me find a very specific custom rubber stamp? I'd like to get a custom stamp made. I've spent the past hour or so searching custom rubber stamp retailers online but none have had the format I'm looking for.

I'd like the stamp to be self-inking. It would also have one line.
On the left would be the date (which would have the dials so I could set the current date). On the right side would be my name:

NOV 4 2008 simplethings

This seemed like a typical stamp design but the only dynamic date + static, custom text format I could find is date in the center and text either above or below.

I've seen a similar non-self-inking design where you would have the date followed by a dial with generic accounting phrases (e.g. PAID, VOID, RECEIVED).
However, it's not self-inking and I haven't come across a retailer that would allow me to customize the text dial.

I also came across a retailer that had a very complex alphanumeric stamp designer... this might have been what I was looking for but it was too user-unfriendly for me to figure out.

Can you point me to a legit (and easy to use) website that can take care of my needs?
Thank you!

I want to be less smart

ChabonJabon — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 08:39:33 -0800

How can I make people think I am less intelligent than they think I am? I'm not particularly smart. My IQ is about 120 or so, so I may be a bit above average, but not very much above average. I'm struggling in the university and I already switched university because the first one was too tough for me. So I'm not very smart. But people seem to think I am.

The people I've known for a while (let's say from a few weeks), make occasional comments about me being smart. They assume I know about such stuff like Art or Foreign Films or all that. I hear comments like - oh, you would not be able to relate with that guy because he's too ghetto.

So obviously, there is something in the way I speak or in my face that is giving this impression, and it's an impression I really don't want to give. I want people to underestimate me. I much prefer that they see me as a normal down-to-earth guy.

Over the past year I've done some eleminations in my mannerisms to remove this stigma:

1. I never tell people about stuff. If someone mentions some obscure thing I know about, I don't lecture them about it. If they mention some country, I don't remark about how I've also been there

2. I don't talk about things that the people I am with do not know about. I don't try to explain programming or electronics to people

3. I don't philosophize or run theoretical arguments

4. I don't make obscure jokes or jokes that refer to things

5. I don't name drop any authors, films or books

6. I don't use any big words. I speak with normal words

7. I don't speak about studies or what I've been doing

8. I don't speak about my ideas for things

9. I avoid any unconventional topics

Now, before you say I am muting my personality - I don't think so. The people I hang out with don't react well to these type of things. Imagine me living in some Fridayesque ghetto to understand what I'm talking about.

In spite of all that, people still decide that I am smart. What effective tricks can I use to make me simply blend in with the crowd I am with and effectively hide any extra knowledge I may have?

Beardman seeks information about another beardman

Beardman — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:10:22 -0800

William James-Filter: does anybody know who said this particular thing about him, and where? I thought I read an article some time ago that basically said the following (paraphrasing from memory):

William James puzzled for much of his life about the relationship between two senses of the word "I": on one hand, "I" refers to something that is a present subject of experience but which seems transient, while on the other hand, "I" refers to a persisting person, the sort of entity that one could write a biography of.

I find this relationship puzzling, and I was hoping to be able to find a nice little quote that says James did too.

The article that I thought mentioned this was "The Self and the SESMET" by Galen Strawson. But I've looked it over carefully and it doesn't seem to be there. So my question: does anybody know of any place where James' puzzlement about this problematic relationship is discussed? Or, any specific place where James more or less expicitly says, "Now this is a puzzle!"?

inDesign/Photoshop/DIY comics question

radiocontrolled — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:09:14 -0800

self-publishing/layout question: I've drawn my comic to have 8.5" X 11" (21.6 cm X 27.9cm) dimensions. I want to shrink it down to fit in a 17cm X 26 cm comic book. I've scanned and saved each drawn page of the comic book as tiff files (with no crompression). I need to edit some small details in photoshop too.

Here's what I want to know:

a) After I'm done editing the work in Photoshop, what file format should I save it in? I plan to be laying out the comic in inDesign.

b) is there a particular way I should go about scaling down my work? I want it to be the best quality for when I take it to the printers.

Thanks for your help.

Need a pedometer that measures miles.

joaniek — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:21:01 -0800

Hi there, I walk approx. 2 1/4 miles a day with a pedometer that shows steps only. Is there an accurate mile measurer that will show how many miles I've walked? If so where might I obtain one?

Am I just happier being single?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:32:38 -0800

Am I just happier being single? I'm a 33 year-old guy. Since my early 20's, I've been involved in five relationships that lasted long enough (say ~ 1 year or more) and had enough compatibility to contemplate getting married. In each of these cases I broke up with the woman, and in retrospect I know that was the right decision in four of the cases. The fifth case is a bit more ambiguous: I'm not 100% sure I made the right decision, but I am completely at peace with it.

About four months ago, I met the girl who is seemingly the girl of my dreams. She's super-smart, attractive, and fun to be around. To summarize, I don't really have any significant complaints and, although I realize that these are still early days, I think that I have enough relationship experience to realize that this is different. One downside is that we live about 2 hours away from each other, for the next year, or so. We used to live in the same city.

So, good for me, end of story, right? Unfortunately, no. Over the past few weeks, I've begun to feel pretty uneasy about being in a relationship. Part of these feelings probably originate from the fact that we're pretty much spending all of our weekends together, since we rarely see each other during the week. This can leave little time alone or time alone with friends. I imagine that this is fairly normal challenge, and something that we can address.

The potentially more worrisome issue for me is that I've noticed that I generally feel / act like a slightly different person when I'm in a relationship versus when I'm single. I feel more constrained, less fun, less outgoing, less positive, and less energetic. Coupled with a packed schedule, these feelings can make it challenging to make new friends in the area that I've just moved to.

I know that there might be a little bit of a grass-is-greener syndrome happening here, and I recognize that this is something I might want to seek a professional opinion on, which I'm not opposed to, but I'd still like to hear what some of you think.

Specifically, I would like to know if any of you have ever felt similarly ambivalent about someone who was clearly awesome and clearly a better match for you than anyone you had dated in the past. What did you do about it? Are you happy with the decision? A large part of me thinks I should just plow ahead, while working out these details with a therapist, since she is clearly a catch.

On the other hand, are you someone who has decided that you're happier being single? I know that there are threads about this, but I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who have made this decision in the absence of any particularly bad relationship experiences. My relationships have been pretty good, for the most part, but I noticed after my last breakup (before the current gf) that I became happier, more active, healthier, and more engaged with the world. Of course, this was only a 3-4 month sample, so I may not have felt that way if it had been years. If you've taken this path, how has this turned out for you? Are you happy with the decision?

Thanks a bunch. You've all been so helpful in the past and I love you for that!

CLEAR SKIN CALLED, it said screw you

madmamasmith — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 03:07:10 -0800

well. i have searched and searched and there is alot out there , but i am looking for something specific. this question is about BLACKHEADS. I have had blackheads since i was a teen, when i was 20 i started getting zits too. Here I am 26 and my skin is the worst it has ever been.i have blackheads on every inch of my face and my face and scalp feel like an oil factory. I am a vegetarian, i dont eat crappy but i dont eat buckwheat cakes and organic chard everyday either maybe once a month i get drunk and maybe once a week have a soda, i do drink a couple coffees a week and my diet consists of alot of texmex but alot of organnic veggies too, i dont take vitamins cuz im really poor right now but in the past i have tried evening primrose, multivitamin, iron,birth control pills,,,i have used every face wash known to man as well as retina and other topicals, and now after 10 years of no noticeable difference i just use oatmeal soap and witchhazel. i was using jojoba cuz i heard that would help but it didnt but neither does lotion. basically i am freaking out, what do i do? i have the most sensitive skin so i scar really easy. i am too oily. i do everything u r supposed to ; drink water, change pillowcases, hot showers, all natural skincare,,,,help me please. I cant afford facials evryday but i did use to get microderms once a month to no avail as well as chemical peels that actually scarred me really bad. are there any remedies that anyone can suggest that have worked for you? home remedies, pills, liver cleanses? im so desperate, i hate looking in the mirror, dont lecture me.....just tell me if anything has worked for you

What's the profitability of getting into the restaurant industry?

CWitt — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:27:19 -0800

What is the profitability of a small restaurant? I'm a young entrepreneur graduating soon from college and can not bring myself to getting a 9 to 5. I want to be self-employed and I know that I will be successful. I think the first step is entering a business that I know will make me some residual income.

I've become very interested in owning a small restaurant. I cannot decide if the restaurant industry is for me or not, but I think I could succeed. I could obviously start my own local cafe or something, but I'm worried of the risks. I quick fix could be to open a Subway or Quizno's franchise (something with a low franchise fee), but I don't know if they are very profitable. Does anyone own a franchise restaurant or regular restaurant that could offer some rough figures to get me going in the right direction?

Help me learn to be the sysadmin I need to be!

Reverend John — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:34:00 -0800

What do I need to know and how should I learn it? I am the "IT" guy at my company, a small supplier of building materials, with an office staff of about 10, and a warehouse crew of about the same. Problem is I'm underqualified. Before I arrived here the network and all workstations were set up and supported by an outside consultant. When I arrived my primary responsibility was maintaining our web site, hosted elsewhere, and minor IT support when I could answer or fix immediate problems without having to call the consultant. I was A+ and Network+ certified around 4 years ago, but obviously thats not all that impressive, and really I haven't done much in depth there, haven't been building or fixing machines or doing significant network administration.

Unfortunately over the past year or so the consultant has gradually become less accessible to the point of being essentially useless, and I have recurring nightmares about something disastrous happening to our server or network and not being able to fix it, losing all of our business data, etc. I chatted with my bosses, the owners, last night and they've OK'ed me to upgrade my skills in order to make sure everything here is working well and secure.

Currently we have a single server running Windows 2000 server. The workstations are an amalgamation of Win XP pro and Win 2000 workstation. We have a 24 port switch tying it all together, and some networked printers, and a DSL connection to the internet. The server provides a shared directory, Active Directory services, DHCP, and hosts our business application server.

Given what we have my current plan is to self-study towards becoming an MCSA on Windows 2000 server. Some of the win 2k tests are discontinued, but since thats what we're running I figured I would work first on the tests which aren't discontinued yet, like 70-270 Admining Win XP, then working thru the self study books on Win 2k Server like 70-215 Adminning Win 2k server and 70-218 Managing a Win 2k Server network, as if I was going to try to take those exam. Then after I was up to speed on what we're currently running I might want to learn more on what we might want to move to in order to make sure our network is not too obsolete or insecure.

So, what I want to know from you technical mefites is, is my plan reasonable? Am I being foolish to consider studying for obsolete tests in order to fill out my knowledge of the stuff we already have? Is there a better way I should approach this?

Help! I feel overwhelmed and I live in constant fear that I'm going to come in one day and be told "nothing works, fix it" and not be able to.