Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with sadness

How do I get out of this emotional hole and get things done?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:33:48 -0800

Seeking short-term coping mechanisms for being productive in school during a devastating breakup, and for comedy TV I can watch to help me through it. Long story inside. My partner of, let's say 4-8 years and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. We got together when we were both freshmen at our university and had an instant strong bond. It was a mutual breakup due to some relationship dysfunction that was related to a sexual health problem I have and anxiety/depression we each have. We have lived together for several years and while we're in the process of finding some way to move out, we are still roommates for now.
The first few days we were broken up, we both had a terrible time and cried a lot. We have remained friends with little drama, other than both having some crying spells, up until this weekend.
Due to some events this weekend, it really started to sink in that I may really be losing him for good and I began to panic. Things came to a head and in the middle of the night I told him how I felt and it was very emotional for both of us. We ended up having sex. I didn't realize, but at the time, he was drunk (I was exhausted from crying and not sleeping). While we were having sex (which was his move), we were talking about things we wanted to do sexually in the future. The next morning, though, we kissed again (again his move) and said sexual things toward me. Not an hour later, we talked about what we wanted to do relationship-wise. Basically he said he doesn't think it's a good idea for us to get back together right now.
I'm totally crushed. I told him he betrayed me, fucked with my head, and that I just wanted to know why he would so something like that to me after normally treating me well. He says he was stupid to do those things last night and this morning, and he did them because he was confused about how he felt and thought maybe we could get back together. I feel so betrayed, used, and just hopeless. We're part of each others families. Before the breakup, we often talked of concrete life plans like marriage and kids. When we technically "broke up," it didn't feel so real or permanent and we've continued to live life as normal, hanging out just with no romantic contact.
Making matters worse, I'm a first-year law student in the throes of finals studying time. This weekend I have done nothing for school. I don't even think I can get through classes without bursting into tears randomly. Missing much class is not really an option, but I know I can't go tomorrow. I can't get out of bed right now. I don't know how I can get through the semester. There are counseling services that I plan to utilize, but until I can get in, I am in a wandering panic.
I have no friends to talk to about this. All of my friends are either friends with him, too, or friends who live out of state and I haven't been in close contact with recently enough to call up with my problems. I'm don't really talk to my parents or siblings about personal stuff like this.
I don't like dating or the whole game of trying to meet people. He and I became friends and were very close before any romance occurred. I don't feel like that kind of connection will be easy to find again any time soon.
I've read tons of breakup related AskMes, and some of the things in there have been helpful, especially the thing about "existential panic"

1. Are there any general suggestions for what I can do to get through the day(s) until I can get some counseling?
2. One thing that does help calm me is watching DVDs of The Office. I've seen them all so many times in the past month that it's almost not working anymore. Any other shows like this, such as ones about people with run of the mill lives with comedy and some realistic life sadness would probably help, too.
3. What can I do to try to be productive and not keep breaking down while studying? I can't leave the house, which usually helps, because I will probably start crying randomly, and at home, all I can do is zone out playing solitaire and watching The Office to keep from bawling constantly.

Sorry for such a long story, but I really felt I needed to give all the details for this to make sense, and my mind isn't so clear for editing.
If you have any advice you don't want to put here, you can email heartbrokenmefite@gmail.com

Feel miserable, trying to establish friendship.

giggleknickers — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:10:45 -0800

I'm lonely but I don't want to be around anyone. Please advise how to get through this grief. A whole bunch of really bad events have happened in my life recently, one on top of the other. I feel absolutely awful.

What do you do in times like this? You turn to friends right? Thing is, one of the awful things that happened had all my friends gang up on me like we were back in junior high (We're in our 30's for goodness sake), because someone said that I did something I actually didn't. They refuse to even hear my side of the story. I don't want to try and win them over any more because now I don't feel like they were ever really my friends in the first place.

What I feel like doing is sitting at home eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself. But I refused to, and I spent the last month forcing myself to go out and do things and meet new people, because then I'll feel better. Unfortunately, it just seems to make me feel worse when I'm out somewhere with lots of great, nice, friendly people but I'm just feeling miserable.

I can't seem to really establish a relationship with anyone, so that the "people I hang out with" friends become "people I love and trust and depend on" friends. I guess that takes time, right? It's a Catch 22 because I really need that type of friend right now, but I'm in the wrong state of mind to evolve that kind of friendship.

It may be relevant to disclose that I'm on anti-depressants and have been for around a year and a half. They work great, but this isn't depression. This is grief, and there's no pill for that.

I really thought that just going out and doing things and keeping busy was the answer, but nothing seems to distract me from feeling miserable.

So, I'm sorry if I don't have a clear, direct question. Just hoping for some general advice. I guess the question is: What do I do?

I still feel like the sad kid no one will ever like.

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 15:41:14 -0800

Why am I suddenly unable to stop obsessing about the childhood bullying that happened to me? I am an adult woman who experienced serious bullying from my earliest memories all the way until I graduated high school. That one kid everyone felt free to make fun of because they were so weird/had no friends to defend them/just didn't fit? That was always me.

I thought I was over it. I even convinced myself it was an advantage. I always seek out the most ill at ease person in any social situation, am friendly but not overbearing and I empathize with a lot of different perspectives. Those are all good things.

Yet lately very specific memories are catching me off guard and even though I do my best not to dwell they tumble around my head anyway. It's like it was yesterday. There's no particular reason I can see why it's cropping up again but it's frequent and each time makes me feel like I've been punched in my gut. It didn't matter what school or what group, I was always at the bottom (with all the teasing, cruel pranks and occasional physical violence that suggests) and I keep wondering why. A deep part of me feels as if those kids were rejecting me from the herd for a good reason. Aside from my partner I don't have any close friends. I basically don't have a social life. It gets harder and harder for me just to talk to people. I feel marked somehow. I know this is irrational but that doesn't stop me from thinking it.

I am on antidepressants and have done therapy but I don't think the answers are there. I don't know where they are. If you've had the same feelings and recovered from them please tell me how. If you would rather not write here you can send something to anonmeta@gmail.com. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Sad Christmas movies?

xmutex — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:57:29 -0800

Is there a Christmas movie that's horribly bleak with like terrible things happening to children or broken dreams or general sadness and woe or maybe like cancer, and that doesn't end well?

I'm going to be 800 lbs if I can't stop this :(

isoman2kx — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:30:52 -0800

I have no idea how to stop my late night eating. I've battled it for years. For the last few months, it's caused me to gain back ALL of my weight that I busted my ass to lose in 2006. I went from 200 to 175 and was quite proud of myself. I wanted to lose about 5-7 lbs even back then but I was fairly content. I'm so so frustrated with myself. Half of the time I seem to sleep eat and then I wake up in the morning thinking hey maybe i didn't eat the house this time and then I taste my breath and it smells like f'in food. My problem isn't quite as simple as just "eating in the middle of the night when I wakeup". It's mixed with years of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Then again though, I suppose that's what a lot of "late night eaters" have. Otherwise you wouldn't be eating at 2 and 3 am right?

That's my theory at any rate. I'm trying to deal with the anxiety, depression, etc the best I can. I take anti-depressants, I have sleeping pills to help me sleep. I do talk therapy roughly once a week or every two weeks depending on my psychologists schedule. I have a very very impressive armada of self-help books, you name it and I've probably got it. I very often lose interest in doing a lot of things and low self-esteem blows balls. I have a dog too. I thought she would be the source of fixing all my problems, but it turns out that's not the case. I mean, I'm doing everything you're supposed to be doing when you're trying to tackle this , so why in the **** isn't it helping my life? I want this solved now. I'm tired of taking this shit day by day, TIRED OF IT. I've been doing day by day for 3 f'in years now. I'm 22, I shouldn't have these problems. I could understand if I was 45 and my wife just left me and my kids hated me, but that's not the case!

Back to my eating for a second in my diatribe. I'm so sick of losing the battle of eating in the wee hours of the morning. I would honestly consider stomach stapling or some other drastic measure but I'm 22 and I live at home and ever since my dad passed away 8 months ago, we have to watch our money. Not that something as ridiculous as those options would ever be approved with my dad still here anyway, lol.

I don't know what to do. I'm very much an emotional eater and every time I make plans to battle it even during the day, it doesn't work. I always give into the hunger because I feel like that's all that can comfort me sometimes.

Just to list the self-help/self-improvement books I have

Feeling Good (David Burns) <---- read 1/4th
Stumbling Upon Happiness (Stephen Gilbert) <--- read 30 pages
Happiness (Tal Ben-Shahar) <---- read 50 pages
Undoing Depression (Richard O'Connor , reading now, on a grand total of 150 pages now)
Dealing With Depression Naturally (Syd Baumel) <--- not read
Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness (William Styron) <--- not read
100 Ways To Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever (Steve Chandler) <--- partially read
Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem (Marilyn Sorensen) <--- not read
Life Was Never Meant to Be a Struggle (Stuart Wilde) <--- read completely, but it was 50 pages, lol.
Friends and Lovers: How to Meet the People You Want to Meet (Steve Bhaerman) <--- unread
The Art of Mingling: Proven Techniques for Mastering Any Room (Jeanne Martinet) <-- partially read, the book seems f'in useless though
52 Things You Can Do to Raise Your Self-Esteem (Jerry Minchinton) <--- completely read
Maximum Self-Esteem: The Handbook for Reclaiming Your Sense of Self-Worth (Jerry Minchinton) <--- read about 60 pages
How to Click With Everyone Every Time (David Rich)
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (Richard Carlson) <--- read entirely
The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion (Garry Poole) <--- read most of it.
How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends: Revised And Updated (Don Gabor) <--- read about half
Attitude is Everything (Jeff Keller)
Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness (Alan Garner) <--- read half maybe
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook (Edmund Bourne)

For what it's worth, I hate doing exercises in depression books. Just seems f'in useless.

What do I do me-fites? What... do... I .... do?

-Travis

Unhappy Birthday

Ash3000 — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 20:16:19 -0800

I had a shitty birthday today that seemed to confirm all my suspicions about my friendships, and my life in general, and now I'm not sure how to rebound. Here's the deal - as my questions in the past would seem to indicate, it's been a long, hard journey for me to get past the emotionally abusive household I grew up in, and the number of terrible incidents I dealt with in my adolescent and teen years, to become a person who does not consider himself depressed, or socially awkward. In the past two years, I feel like I've started to have friends, to really like myself as a person, to like the direction my life was going in personally and professionally - and, despite some awful relationship experiences, things've seemed to be continuing in that fashion.

But then, I turned 24 today, and for some reason the way that my friends treated it has me questioning all of that.

I sent an online invite a week ago to all my friends - instead of having it for a big party, it was for a bunch of small things I'd be doing in the NYC area, where I live, on Saturday and Sunday - going to improv shows, having dinner together, etc. Only a few friends RSVPed, but that was fine. Then, of the three things I had penciled in for today (Coney Island, movie, dinner), the first two had to be canceled for weather and reservations respectively - fine, no one was going with me to either anyway. Despite sending it out to 100 friends, just one good friend said she'd go to dinner with me tonight. I was really looking forward to it, even if it was just me and one other person, partially b/c the only proper celebration of my birthday had been going to the movies on Saturday evening with two old friends. Before dinner at 9pm, I spent most of the day sleeping off the fact I spent all night alone, watching a local improv marathon at a favorite spot.

I got an e-mail from her at 6pm, saying she was hung over from seeing an old college friend the previous night, and couldn't make it out, but maybe we could hang out in a week or two.

For some reason, I got so depressed that I just stayed inside. I literally did nothing during my birthday.

It was really just a visceral emotional punch, but the more I think about it the more I feel like I understand why it was so potent for me: the fear that I might have no real friends. About 30 people said "Happy Birthday!" on my facebook wall. By contrast, six people bothered to let me know if they wanted to spend time, yes or no, on my birthday weekend, four people total spent any time with me on Friday or Saturday, even if just 15 minutes in their neighborhood, and this one friend I really considered close decided to let me know off-minute that our birthday dinner was off b/c she got drunk the previous night.

I feel off-keel somehow. Has anyone dealt with something like this? Like they fundamentally question not just their friendships, but any so-called progress they've made as a person?

Mysterious new relationship sadness and uncertainty

Anonymous — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:26:12 -0800

I'm having trouble understanding and dealing with a sudden wave of sadness which came over me while leaving a new romantic partner's house. (Overly long relationshipfilter details follow.) I have been seeing X (who is a woman, I'm a man, we're in our early 30s) on and off for a month and a half or so, and overall things have been going well. We've spent a lot of time with each other, and have talked in great detail about our lives and past relationships, and had lots of good sex. But a few days ago when I was leaving her house I was suddenly struck by an overwhelming feeling of sadness, and ever since then I've been feeling really depressed and obsessing about our relationship. I need help understanding where the feeling comes from and getting some perspective on the relationship.

I've heard of people getting sad after sex, but it's never really happened to me before. The thing that is most puzzling to me is that I can't tell what the cause of the sadness is. I definitely feel that it's about X, but I can't tell what the actual cause of it is. I almost feel as if I'm mourning the loss of her before we've actually broken up. Directly before that we'd been talking about her past sexual experiences and my previous long-term relationship.

As a little background, we've been seeing each other a lot but we haven't really had the talk about whether we're dating other people and if we want to be monogamous. I feel like we're going to need to have the talk pretty soon for my own comfort, but I've been a little put off because I'm having a hard time reading her and what her romantic feelings towards me are. I've occasionally felt that when I've made overtures to her that hinted at deeper feelings, she didn't quite reciprocate. She does seem to enjoy hanging out with me, but in moments of doubt I wonder if it's a sexual thing. And I always seem to be the one who initiates contact with her.

X is extremely independent, and that's something that really attracts me to her and also something I value highly in myself. It really bothers me that my own emotional state suddenly seems to be so affected by her in such a negative way - it makes me feel vulnerable and needy. My last relationship was kind of unhealthy that way and I hoped I had outgrown that.

So here are the things I need help with:

1. How can I get a gauge on her feelings towards me without seeming clingy or desperate? In particular, I'm worried that if I bring up the whole monogamy / relationship talk at this point, I'll be rushing things.

2. How can I disengage a little and not be so worried about (1)? I need some practical techniques to obsess over her and the whole situation less, or at least to become more at ease with things being sort of up in the air right now.

3. The sadness I was talking about is still with me several days later and I'm having trouble understanding what its source is and getting over it. Right now I can't really talk to my good friends who I'd ordinarily consult about this (logistical reasons) and I would appreciate any advice about it.

(Private advice is also welcome at omne.animal.triste.est at gmail.)

Is longevity the curse of happiness?

artdrectr — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:50:42 -0800

Know any happy 80-year-olds? An 85 year old friend, who is still a practicing artist, told us she wouldn't wish anyone to live as long as she has. We were startled, and very sad.

My wife and I (mid-lifers) were surprised to become aware that nearly all the folks we know or have known over the age of 80 are/were quite unhappy. Each is unique and pleasant to be with, have different backgrounds, different types of families, different financials, but almost all are deeply unhappy with their quality of life (and degrading health of course, which may be the overall theme of this question).
It seems a rather ominous fate to look forward to.

Tell me about some truly happy octogenarians you personally know.

My heart is breaking, and I don't know why

happyturtle — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:15:28 -0800

How do I deal with this overwhelming sadness that has no apparent cause? I've been depressed for years, probably most of my life. Usually when it was at it's worst, the main symptom was complete apathy and a great desire to sleep most of the day. I've been very happily stabilized on antidepressants for the past 5 or 6 years.

My meds stopped working this summer, and I just started on nortriptyline about 4 or 5 weeks ago. When I was first starting on them, I had random, unprovoked crying spells, but this is... different.

I had started feeling like I could see the glimmerings of the old me coming back just before Christmas. But it hit me about mid-morning today that I feel utterly bereft and heartbroken, with nothing particularly to be heartbroken about. I'm happily married, I have an adorable dog, and I generally like my life. Okay, my job is making me miserable, as past questions show, but this level of sadness is far beyond what one would normally attribute to their workplace. It's the kind of sadness I've felt when grieving the death of someone I had loved.

If I had something to be sad about, then I could work my way through the grief. But in my vast arsenal of coping strategies, I don't seem to have any to help me deal with 'feeling sad with no reason'. Somehow it's just never happened before.

I have an appointment to see my doctor in two weeks, and I've signed up for face to face counselling, but that will probably not start any sooner, and possibly later. It seems frivolous to make an emergency appointment for extreme sadness, but I will if I have to. (An emergency appt at the GP, that is, not going to the emergency room) I've been off sick a lot from work lately, and I'd really like to stay functioning if at all possible.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Any strategies to help me get through this?

(Because most doctors and counsellors would ask at this point--no, I'm not thinking of hurting myself.)

Worlds that outlaw sadness?

thelloydshow — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 05:14:05 -0800

Worlds that outlaw sadness? Not in our world but does anyone know of any films, tv shows, books etc where sadness or depression is outlawed?

Good lord.

somersault — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:15:53 -0800

How do you maintain dignity and self-control while being dumped? Furthermore, where do you live? I realize there are a million questions floating about on Ask MetaFilter in regards to post-break up blues, heartache, et cetera. I've skimmed through as many as possible but nothing seems to quite fit my situation and inquiries. I hope my questions, though cliche, are not redundant.

Previously, I posted this question in regards to my now defunct relationship. He broke up with me last night. Please feel free to insert my regret, stupidity, and humilty right here. Needless to say that I did not break up with him nor did I even mention that I had been seriously considering it. Firstly, this is because I am a coward and despite my "slumbering" displeasure, I would rather endure than face it. Secondly, this is due to the fact that although we were not together for a long period of time, we were living together. I moved in with him several months ago. The lack of my living options (due the fact that I'll be moving in the fall for grad school) were definitely a deterrent to breaking up with him. He covered most other expenses. I know. I'm an awful person.

Anyway, last night we got into another horrible, alcohol-fueled argument and he broke up with me. We have had similar arguments in the past month, one in which resulted in me packing some of my stuff and threatening to leave. In the light of day, the issues we argued about were petty and absurd. However, the smallness of such arguments obviously did not negate the blow outs that took place. I feel that I am mostly at fault for these arguments. Had he not cared about me as much as he did, I think things would have ended a lot sooner.

Long story short, he told me to pack my things and get out. After some negotiating (on my end), he slept on the couch and I slept in the bedroom. He said some things about the possibility of working things out the next day. In the morning, he woke up early and took a walk. I began packing some of my belongings. When he came back, he did not say a word to me and got ready for work. Despite the glaringly obvious "get-the-hell-out-we-are-over" evidence, I felt at a loss. I asked him if we could talk and he shortly retorted that he did not want me to be there when he got back from work and then left. I promptly left as well, carrying my purse and a small shoulder bag.

Aside from the emotional upheaval of the situation, I feel completely fucked in other practical issues. I have nowhere to go and limited funding. It is impossible that I could put both a down deposit and one month's rent as of right now. I could possibly scrounge up enough money within the next two weeks, but that is two weeks from now. As far as family and friends are concerned, I feel they are out of the question. Has anyone here slept in their car for an extended period of time? Have you ever been in a situation where you do not have anywhere to live for the next two weeks to one month due to a break up? If so, what did you do? How does one go about applying for a second job (to earn more cash) without a mailing address?

Also, several days before our unexpected break up, he gave me an expensive birthday present. Would it be wrong of me to either return it to the store or pawn it in hopes of making ends meet now? Or do you think I should give it back to him?

Furthermore, I am supposed to pick up the rest of my belongings (some of which I need right now in order to job hunt) on Sunday. How do I deal with this difficult situation? I am very angry, sad, and hurt. I wish we could work things out and part of me believes we could. Then again, I might be the delusional ex. Regardless of what is plausible and what is not, I know I should not act rashly. I know I need to be objective, which is difficult for me right now. I also know I need to avoid being the crazy, needy ex begging for reconciliation. I feel that would just frustrate the situation. Is there any hope for reconciliation? If so, what can I do? If not, what can I do to make things easier? As stated previously, there are some things that I left (in my haste) that I need to assist me in finding a job or a living space. Would it be inappropriate of me to contact him tonight and ask him if I could stop over?

Sorry for the lack of brevity. Thanks in advance.

the sadness of Second Life

cloudscratcher — Thu, 31 May 2007 08:37:53 -0800

The sadness of Second Life, if you know any examples. Bad things that have happened in there, stats about why people leave, anecdotes about what's wrong with it, etc. I'm not suggesting that it's only bad, it's just that it's easy to find a lot talking about why it's AWESOME. I'm looking for counterexamples, is all. There was a post over a year ago asking what's good about it, but a lot's happened since... for example Warren Ellis' "Shipwrecked And Abandoned" post. I'm looking for anything qualitative, quantitative, anecdotal, or whatever you've got.

(Again, none of this is to say that SL is only bad or start a debate over it. It's just to get some concrete examples of what goes wrong.)

Help me get rid of my bad mood.

pwally — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:01:49 -0800

What are some of the ways you try and get out of a bad mood? I don't get down too often, but sometimes my bad mood will persist for several days until I eventually sleep off whatever is bothering me. I do have a mild form of depression and I don't take drugs and it's not something I will consider doing again. My mood is more melancholy than depressed, there isn't something in particular thats bothering me but rather an overarching existential anxiety. Music helps sometimes but I get tired of my music. Im at about a 4/10 right now on a happiness scale and the worst part is that I know that I have no good reason to be feeling down. Cheer me up people!

Books/writing on death, loss and grief.

cosmonaught — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:11:50 -0800

Books/writing on death, loss and grief. I lost my girlfriend of 5 years to a freak car accident last weekend. The accident was completely random, and I'm an atheist, so there's really know no one to blame, get angry at, ask why, pray to, etc-- just a horrible void that I'll need to learn to fill over the coming weeks, months and years.

I have a strong support network of friends and family (and have read the recent post about liqourice's loss). I feel like I'm as prepared as I can be to grieve and mourn (which means, of course, that I'm completely, utterly unprepared).

I read pretty constantly, and am looking for good things to read when the mood strikes-- I've tried, and neither the latest issues of Maxim or the Economist are quite cutting it right now.

Last week (before), I happened to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which fits more or less perfectly with what I'm thinking, but I'm really interested in any recommendations for fiction/non-fiction/classics/philosophy. They don't necessarily need to be completely secular, but I am an atheist, so if the driving point is that people go to a better place, or that god has a plan, it probably won't work. Self-help recommendations are ok and appreciated, but not really what I’m looking for.

For what it’s worth, I’m 26.

A death in the family.

liquorice — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 14:19:47 -0800

My mother passed away last week and now I'm lost. Forgive me in advance for the blabbering mess that might follow.

After a year long battle with breast cancer my mother died (somewhat peacefully) last week and I'm grappling with...life.

People have told me I should have been more prepared for it, but how? Yes, I realised it would happen one day...at some point, but not now. Breast cancer is supposed to be the most "fixable", right?

I and the rest of my family were really dependant on her. I don't think I've ever bought clothes in my life without asking for her advice first, to give you an idea of this "dependance".

So here I am, less than a week on and I'm numb. And all I can feel is...nothing. I don't know what to do. My father has hit the bottle pretty hard, although he claims it's just a temporary soution.

Friends and family have been great, but I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this stuff and they all seem to have moved on since the funeral.

For what it's worth, I'm 18, live at home and with two extremely emotionally closed up people (my father and my brother).

Is there anything I can do for myself, or for my brother and dad to help us through this?

(I just want her back. Is that really so hard? Why isn't there a magic spell? I just want her back.)

What kinds of splinters must be removed asap?

sirion — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:33:38 -0800

Splinters: So is it true that some sorts of splinters will burrow into your skin if you don't get them out, and require surgury and nastiness? If so, which sorts of splinters? Conversely, which types of splinters can you reasonably assume will fall out on their own in a day or two?

Where can I go when I'm down?

Anonymous — Sun, 05 Mar 2006 21:20:05 -0800

Where on the internet can you go for anonymous support when you are feeling just a little blue? I just broke up with a longtime live-in girlfriend and the evenings are kind of empty and, while most of the time I'm okay, I feel down sometimes. I do have real life friends I can lean on when I'm feeling lonely, except sometimes that lonely feeling comes at midnight when I can't exactly impose on someone when it isn't an emergency.

I am not suffering from serious depression, so I don't really feel the typical depression support groups are appropriate. I do visit general message boards, but don't feel close enough to anyone in those places to share my feelings. Are there any kind of generic supportive chat sites I can visit for support during periods of this temporary, less-serious-than-depression type of sadness?

P.S. This site does help.

Request for waterworks manual

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 00:01:15 -0800

How does one cry? I've been under immense stress lately, and it seems to just be balling up in my head. When my mind is least clear, I get an overwhelming need to cry. That feeling one gets at the sad parts of movies, in the back of the throat. But, stronger. However, I cannot seem to get to crying, sobbing, or even tears. It has been years since I last cried. As a guy, I wonder if there is something I'm not aware of. Maybe there is some method, or technique that I never learned or maybe I forgot. I've scoured the internet and only found things for crocodile tears and acting, or worse, research telling me of the benefits of crying. I've wanted to ask friends and family, but I feel they'd think I've fallen insane. Crying isn't much talked about. Are there tricks? Tips? Anything? I think I could function better or just let some of this stress out if I could just cry. Help.

What are the saddest songs ever?

moift — Tue, 16 Nov 2004 06:34:19 -0800

What are the saddest songs ever? The ones that really do it for me are REM's "Everybody Hurts" and the Donnie Darko song. Those are pretty similar, but I'm looking for suggestions from any genre, style, time period or degree of maudlinness so long as they're crushingly depressing.

Sad Music Videos

WolfDaddy — Tue, 05 Oct 2004 08:31:12 -0800

Okay, MTV generation (which is probably most of us?) ... we all know that songs themselves can make one cry, but has a music video ever made you cry? I mean cry from sadness, not because the video was a terrible example of the concept "art".