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My difficult roommate wants to stay...hooray

I have a difficult housemate who makes me stressed out and angry, has alienated my friends such that they don't want to come over to my house, and who my housemates and I asked to leave when the lease ends and the new lease begins. She refuses to leave. What happens now? [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Jun 21, 2014 - 35 answers

Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest?

Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest? Hello, I currently live in an expensive city, and am subletting from a roommate. I'm a straight male in my mid20s, and he's a bit older than me. This roommate has quickly proven himself to be a truly wonderful individual, both in private and professional life. I would even go so far as to say I deeply admire him. He is starting at a new top notch hospital along with other residents. He offered a place on his couch to any of these new residents, for a day or two, as they get settled into the city. He told me this well in advance. A younger women took him up on his offer. A day before she was set to arrive, he told me he was extending his vacation and asked me to do the hosting. The truth is with her professional background and career, I don't doubt she is a very trustworthy person. And I also don't mind helping my roommate out, as he has really been very kind with me. With that said, I am uncertain if what he did is fair to his guest. She had never met my roommate before, and they only came in contact over a facebook page for new residents. And then a day before she was set to arrive, she found out he wouldn't even be here, and she would be sharing an apartment with me. [more inside]
posted by jjmoney on May 29, 2014 - 28 answers

help me not get screwed over by my roommate

My troublesome roommate is doing a last minute sublet of her room in our 2 BR apartment for the summer. The sublet seems a little shady to me, as she is not telling management and is just planning to have the renter pay her directly. Am I naive to think she should tell the apartment complex? She is also very behind in all of the bills (cable/electric/gas), so I'm worried about getting her to pay her share in full before the subletter moves in. Help me sort through the legality of all this to avoid finding myself in a bad situation. Also, talk to me about breaking an apartment lease. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on May 4, 2014 - 26 answers

How to Deal with Advice from Roommates

My roommate keeps giving me advice and nutritional tidbits. At first it was educational, but now I'm just irritated and annoyed, and I can't quite pinpoint why or how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by Puck Soppet on Apr 11, 2014 - 19 answers

Roommate Rules

I am getting a new roommate soon and this time, I want to do everything right. Please share your platonic cohabitation tips! [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 15, 2014 - 28 answers

Am I in danger?

Total snowstorm inside, in short my roommate for the next month has very, very different worldviews from me, does things I find offensive and might have access to a gun. He does not know that I am transgendered. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2014 - 65 answers

Keep it secret, keep it safe

I have been asked by my roommate's boyfriend to covertly find her ring size for an engagement ring. He suggested digging through her stuff until I find a ring to use with an online ring sizing guide. I'm uncertain whether the surprise factor is a bigger deal than the invasion of privacy. [more inside]
posted by Durin's Bane on Feb 27, 2014 - 57 answers

How best to handle moving out technically TONIGHT?

I procrastinated horribly and relied upon uncertain things, and I technically need to move out of my apartment tonight or I assume suffer consequences. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by destructive cactus on Feb 24, 2014 - 39 answers

Advice for a complicated roommate situation

Synopsis is that my roommate has severe PTSD and blames my own recent mental health problems for triggering a relapse in her. She has not acknowledged that this has been hard on me, only how it affected her. She wants me to move out, tried to get me evicted by the landlords (who favor her because she is younger), sent 5 hours of harassing texts to me on Monday. Because this is Wisconsin in February, there aren't a lot of apartments available, and I have to be extra picky because of a very fixed income and not having a car/relying on living near things and buslines. This is seriously impacting my own mental health now, worsening my depression/anxiety. I don't want to go through the stress of moving, especially since she didn't offer anything (like paying moving expenses). She feels as though she has done everything for me and I am an ungrateful traitor--there are a couple things I'd like to apologize/take responsibility for, but I don't want to do so if that will be construed as me taking responsibility for her relapse, something I will not do. We are both on the lease, which goes through August. I will answer any questions about details.
posted by mermaidcafe on Feb 20, 2014 - 20 answers

Murder in the Building. Roommate Needed.

How do I find a roommate for my recently stigmatized apartment? My Boyfriend and I moved into an apartment with the knowledge that we would eventually rent out the second bedroom. It's in a converted house, with a shared stairwell. We live on the third floor, the landlady and her family live on the second floor, and the tenant on the first floor was recently murdered by his roommates. The roommates are in prison and were arraigned last Friday. [more inside]
posted by superior julie on Feb 17, 2014 - 49 answers

because "wow, you're a terrible person" won't make me many friends

Getting to know your new roommates when a problematic roommate dominates it all [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Feb 8, 2014 - 22 answers

Tangled web woven with roommates. Ideas to untangle?

I'm in the middle with a strange roommate/landlord situation. Any ideas on how I can gracefully get out of this unscathed, while making sure everyone is happy? [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Feb 6, 2014 - 15 answers

Roommate has sudden medical issues, how to cope financially/emotionally?

Asking this on behalf of a close friend: "What do I do when a person I do not want to be close to is dying, or believes they are dying, in close quarters?" Her roommate has diabetes and has developed significant kidney issues, and is very upset and scared. Complicating factors: my friend expects that the roommate will be unable to pay his share of rent and bills, and she does not have the means to cover them on her own. Also, she has very sound reasons for not being emotionally close to him.
posted by NMcCoy on Feb 5, 2014 - 13 answers

When should guests pay rent?

I'd like opinions about whether I'm being unreasonable in wanting an extended guest of my roommate (their spouse actually) to pay a small portion of the rent while they're here. [more inside]
posted by captain cosine on Feb 4, 2014 - 38 answers

What to do about my roommate's surveillance camera?

I'm currently living in a small apartment with two bedrooms and one roommate. My roommate has exhibited some odd behavior in the past, but in the last week things have gotten weird. Help me negotiate this situation. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2014 - 38 answers

Why does this potentially awesome move make me uncomfortable?

Looking for an apartment, found a possibility with an interesting guy I met a couple of months ago. The neighbourhood is great, the apartment is gorgeous. I get along well with him and I will expand my social circle living with him, so that's a nice plus as well. However... my guts say no. And I can't pinpoint a reason. [more inside]
posted by StoneSpace on Jan 29, 2014 - 48 answers

What to do about a difficult roommate part II

This happened before. Since then there have been multiple recurrences of shouting/aggressive talking, door-slamming, and general verbal and nonverbal weirdness. My other roommates are open to asking her to find somewhere else to live, but seem to be looking to me. We have a house meeting tonight and I was asked if I want to bring this up. I'm... uncomfortable and also in finals and then leaving for a number of weeks. What should I do, and how should I do it? [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Dec 9, 2013 - 29 answers

dealing with a roommate/ assertiveness 2.0

I like my roommate, but I don't like some of the things she does. I suck at being assertive. We've only been living together for a short while so I'd like to set some boundaries while it's still early. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Dec 4, 2013 - 10 answers

Move into a house with many (now) vacant rooms without knowing roommates

I looked at this really nice, huge, new house for rent, but the landlord is renting out each room individually, and now they are all vacant because the house's new, so I don't know who's gonna be my house mates!!! Even men or women - I don't know!! [more inside]
posted by pelu on Oct 28, 2013 - 23 answers

Coping with frustration

I get frustrated with my roommate easily (sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly), and need some coping mechanisms to remain civil. Roommate and I are friends, and generally have fun when we spent friends time together outside of the apartment. But we have some living differences... [more inside]
posted by Chaussette Fantoche on Oct 22, 2013 - 31 answers

Roommate thinks I'm dirty but it really isn't me...

I recently moved into a place with three other girls. They've all been there for a while - I'm the new one. We have a bug problem in the kitchen which was there even when I moved in. However, recently, we've seen an increase in fruit flies. Turns out, someone was throwing trash into the garbage can and I'm fairly certain the girl who cleaned it out thinks it's me. She left a note. How do I tackle this? I'm innocent! [more inside]
posted by cyml on Oct 18, 2013 - 14 answers

Moving forward after making a mistake, costing you a great opportunity?

I made a mistake that resulted in me missing out on a great opportunity to build a decent support group in my new city, which I have been struggling to adjust to. I feel so much pain and regret at losing what was sure to be a great thing. How can I move forward? Any advice much appreciated. [more inside]
posted by independence under the radar on Oct 9, 2013 - 13 answers

What to do about a difficult roommate?

I freely admit I'm not good at having aggression directed towards me, so I can't tell what to do. Essentially, cultural differences are making it really hard to get along with my roommate. Please help this co-op living delicate flower (me) coexist happily with my very German roommate! Like everyone, I am a special snowflake. This is long and detailed because I'm processing as I write. [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Sep 29, 2013 - 48 answers

How to stop being nosy-ed(?).

My roommate asks me questions that I find annoying, and I'd like to know if there's a way to peacefully stop. [more inside]
posted by MiuMiu on Aug 12, 2013 - 39 answers

Should I apply for this housesitting gig that is also a housemate gig?

There's a housesitter-type ad on craigslist that I'd like to apply for. What's the safest way to go about it? Or should I? [more inside]
posted by grar on Aug 4, 2013 - 15 answers

Should we rent a room to our friend?

My husband and I just bought a house. We have more space than we currently need, and a friend is starting grad school in the area. We are considering renting a room to her. Have you done something like this? How did it work out for you? What made it work? What problems did you encounter? [more inside]
posted by Adridne on Aug 3, 2013 - 24 answers

Should I give up my cat to a roommate?

When my partner and I wound up living apart for grad school, our girl cat went with him to his new shared house. In the past 2 years, his roommate has become very attached to the cat. However, my partner is moving to my place to share an apartment with me and our male cat - these cats have managed together in the past, but some specific challenges (within)... What would be best for everyone, but mostly the girl cat, in this situation? Warning - long! [more inside]
posted by NorthernAutumn on Jul 22, 2013 - 18 answers

"Accidental misfire." Ummm.... what?

My roommate accidentally "misfired" one of his guns in his room. How worried should my housemates and I be? How should we handle this situation? Advice please. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2013 - 111 answers

Please live in my house.

My previous housemate (a decades long friend who found a super cheap place on his own) moved out and I'm not having much luck finding a new housemate. [more inside]
posted by eunoia on Jun 21, 2013 - 55 answers

This has escalated quickly

Son of 1066 had early acceptance to a university six hours away. And we've been planning for him to go there since early December. Last week he decided he now wants to go to the local university and live with me. Acceptance is a given due to his grades. This is going to save me tons of money. The problem? I have had basically zero social life for the past sixteen years because I only had him on the weekends (no regrets). But I was really looking forward to meeting some friends and possibly even dating. So how do we go about transitioning from part-time mom and kid to full-time, loving, supportive, independent mom and adult son/roommate? Advice on any aspects of having a relative/roommate would be appreciated.
posted by 1066 on Jun 19, 2013 - 31 answers

roommate and the balance of housework

My roommate is currently a lot busier than me. I'm unsure if it's fair to ask her to do more of the housework than she's currently doing. [more inside]
posted by colfax on May 11, 2013 - 25 answers

Do I have to share a hotel room with my coworker?

Is it common in your academic workplace for people to share hotel rooms at conferences with colleagues? [more inside]
posted by aabbbiee on May 9, 2013 - 60 answers

My roommate is driving me nuts and I'm wondering what my options are

Basically I paid $400 (really cheap rent) for a small room sublet in Bensonhurst and one of my friends with benefits (who I knew for about a month), heard about my situation incidentally and kept on asking me to split rent with him in the Bronx. It's not a particularly bad area and it was financially feasible (he lives alone and his dad pays half his rent just as a nice gesture, so we'd split the remaining amount - $250 a month on me and the rest on him - about the same). So primarily for financial reasons, as I could save money on rent, I started moving my things and called my landlord to tell him I'm leaving this month within a couple weeks. [more inside]
posted by antgly on May 9, 2013 - 16 answers

Roommate have right to renew lease and, if so, how to ask her to leave?

I live in a two-bedroom apt in Cambridge, MA. I have lived here since Sept '10 and current roommate ("CR") has lived here since Sept '12. The dynamic between CR and I is not so hot. I'm also just very much wanting to live alone and finally able to afford it. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on May 7, 2013 - 13 answers

The thing that I hate about you is everything.

How do you dial it back when you've gotten to the point where you seem to be permanently, irrationally annoyed with someone? Imagine that this is a person who you can't avoid completely - a coworker, roommate, in-law, something like that. [more inside]
posted by mskyle on May 1, 2013 - 31 answers

Rent and eviction with roommates in California.

Renter A has a lease and takes on a roommate, who doesn't sign on to the lease and then doesn't pay their share of the rent. A wants them evicted but can't get them out on their own. What, in California, can the owner of the property do to evict the roommate, while leaving the initial renter? Does the owner have any recourse since the roommate isn't on the lease? [more inside]
posted by nuala on Apr 16, 2013 - 10 answers

Reasonable or unreasonable not to want my roommate to move in her SO?

I recently had three all new roommates move into a four bedroom apartment as subletters in February. Knowing one would be moving out near the end of May, I started looking for a new roommate when one of the other roommates suggested moving her boyfriend into the fourth room. I'm a little wary of this arrangement, but I want to consider, though, before giving my answer whether or not others would consider it unreasonable to not want to live with a couple. [more inside]
posted by Stauf on Apr 7, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm about to go Gordon Ramsay on my roomie. Help me be nice!

How to tell her not to let unsealed meat go brown in the fridge for over a week in a efficient and diplomatic fashion. [more inside]
posted by proximacentauri on Apr 5, 2013 - 17 answers

How can I most peacefully exit an abusive housing situation?

I called for a house meeting to address a housemates abusive behavior towards me but have determined that the best option for me is to simply remove myself from the situation and move out. Do I call off the meeting or do I still have it and then tell the house later that I want to move out or something else? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

Who should get master bedroom in apartment with roommates?

I live in a three bedroom, two bath apartment. Roommate A (current occupent of master bedroom) is moving out. Roommate B and I are trying to decide who should get to move into master. [more inside]
posted by tan_coul on Feb 18, 2013 - 42 answers

Jesus says no!

Roomies' religious convictions are colliding with my lifestyle. They're saying no sex in the house, period. They want overnight guests to sleep in a separate room. I really need the house. How do I manage this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2013 - 52 answers

How to ask my roommate if I can break the lease before it ends?

I live in Cambridge, MA and share a two-bedroom apt with one roommate. We are women in our early 30's. I've been in the home for 2.5 years, with a different roommate each year. I loved my first two roommates. I invited my current roommate to move in this past Sept (met her through Craig's List) and we're a good fit. I have a sudden, burning urge to move into my own (1 bedroom) apt. Do I ask her permission, or just tell her I'm moving? [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Feb 12, 2013 - 14 answers

How to cope with roomie's annoying pets

I share an apartment. I have a great relationship with my roommate. When I met her before I moved in she told me “I work a lot of hours, my home is my sanctuary, I like to come home to a calm unstressful environment.” I am the same way. On to the problem. I am not an animal lover but I have lived with dogs and cats before it has been fine. The issue is her dog is a Chihuahua that always barks. [more inside]
posted by seesom on Feb 5, 2013 - 25 answers

Am I living with a racist?

I'm Indian, living with a white roommate for the past few months. Most of my friends and previous roommates are white, and this is the first time that I'm feeling uncomfortable, so I don't think I'm being oversensitive. But perhaps I am, and I thought people can shed some light. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2013 - 39 answers

Should I maintain renter's insurance even though I've moved out?

I moved out of my apartment, but am still on the lease, which extends for several months. I have "transferred" my renter's insurance policy to cover property and occurrences at my new apartment. This leaves me uncovered at the old place. Does this matter? [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on Jan 29, 2013 - 6 answers

How do you find a sane and compatible housemate from Craigslist?

I've been offered first dibs on renting a super nice house. Unfortunately I need to find at least 1 and ideally 2 people to rent it with me. Just asking around my network if they know anyone hasn't worked out. I'm pretty sure Craigslist is the next best option...what should put in my post, and ask potential people in person, to weed out the crazies? [more inside]
posted by genmonster on Jan 27, 2013 - 21 answers

I woke up and there was a stranger in my room

I'm a female. An unknown female came into my room very late at night. I woke up but thought it was my guy roommate's friend needing to sleep on the other bed in my room (which has happened before), so I just kept sleeping. She slept on the other bed. She is probably in her 20's like myself. Later my roommate told me she was homeless trying to get herself back on her feet and wasn't anybody's friend; one of my roommate's friends just met her (I don't know how & where). Just from this info, if you were me, how would you feel about continuing to sleep in the same room with this person?
posted by MiuMiu on Jan 15, 2013 - 61 answers

I'm leaving, but what do we do about the lease?

BadRoommateFilter: Last night, I came home to my roommate ranting about a dirty kitchen. The rant culminated with him throwing a jar candle at the window, at which point I left. There's broken glass on the kitchen floor still, this morning. I'm seeking new housing, but what to do about the rent for the remainder of the lease term? [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on Dec 12, 2012 - 15 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

My roommate situation is becoming untenable. Should I ride out the storm or leave? What is the best way to bail? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by munyeca on Nov 12, 2012 - 12 answers

Am I being unreasonable in this room mate situation?

My room mate and I have had a falling out over my suggestion that I pay my rent directly to the homeowner, as she does, rather than to her. [more inside]
posted by Piscean on Nov 3, 2012 - 21 answers

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