303 posts tagged with roommate.
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Please don't walk my dogs

How can I tell my new roommate that I don't want her to walk my dogs? [more inside]
posted by Lingasol on Oct 12, 2016 - 23 answers

Getting rid of toxic roommate when "GTFO" isn't as easy as it sounds?

TL;DR: How do you get rid of a toxic roommate when they literally have nowhere to go, no one else willing to take them in, and no money to find a place of their own? IF it gets ugly, violent, I'll call my friend who lives in the complex and get help with immediate removal... but I don't want to make this guy homeless unless he becomes a real threat. I'm trying to think of clear ways to communicate boundaries and deadlines, such as giving X amount of time to save up deposits for a place of his own now that he has a job again. That's the kind of advice I need please. [more inside]
posted by myShanon on Aug 17, 2016 - 68 answers

Finding a roommate in Chicago?

I'm moving to Hyde Park and have found an amazing 2-bedroom apartment. Only trouble is I need a roommate and have had no luck so far--are there any resources I haven't tried that you've had luck with? [more inside]
posted by soonertbone on Aug 2, 2016 - 5 answers

I would like to live alone, but I also like money.

My current roommate is moving out. The prospect of finding and living with another roommate is giving me the howling fantods. Monthly rent for the whole apartment (plus utilities etc) would be ~50% of my average monthly income before tax. Is this workable? (snowflake details inside) [more inside]
posted by btfreek on Jul 22, 2016 - 26 answers

What should I consider in deciding on housing?

How can I choose where to live for the next year? What should I listen to among the competing desires, interests and needs? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on Jun 12, 2016 - 12 answers

How to deal with this situation

I am currently living with flatmate and was planning on moving in to boyfriend's flat that he rents. Now some issues have arisen and turns out that I need to stay here, and boyfriend has to move in as well. How do I tell flat mate and estate agent? [more inside]
posted by akita on Apr 12, 2016 - 19 answers

My roommate is a hardcore recycler and I am not. What now?

My roommate has confronted me about putting improper items in our trash that can be recycled. I don't really care. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Apr 11, 2016 - 67 answers

Roommate's Girlfriend Over Constantly, But She Owns The House

My roommate's girlfriend is now over on a near constant basis. The problem is my roommate owns the house. Do I have any leverage? [more inside]
posted by argylesockpet on Apr 6, 2016 - 14 answers

Get Thee Behind Me, Roommate

How do my boyfriend and I navigate getting rid of the roommate from hell? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 6, 2016 - 28 answers

Potentially codependent roommate driving me nuts.

Found this guy on craigslist in a city where for a number of reasons (high rates of hard drug use among them) it is very difficult to find a competent roommate. I am completely certain he will be a safe roommate to live with, which is paramount, but after knowing him for just a few days, I have already been feeling really drained. I don't think he's a bad person. Help me understand wtf is going on, and how to best cope with it. [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Jan 31, 2016 - 28 answers

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

How can I settle feelings of resentment towards someone I can't just boot out of my life? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Jan 17, 2016 - 19 answers

Rather tenant/roommate leaves quietly without eviction proceedings...

Tenant/roommate has been late on rent all three months she has been there. Still no rent this month and I need to end this. It's a month to month rental agreement. Need to find free/sliding scale counsel, and have a few questions that I would like some insight on, so I can be most successful. In Los Angeles. Will get legal advice, but want to be a bit more educated going in. [more inside]
posted by Vaike on Jan 13, 2016 - 8 answers

My Boyfriend Feels Like A Roommate

I am 27 years old and currently doing a Master's in Social Work. I have been in a relationship for three years with my partner. We're in a monogamous relationship. My relationship was good, fun, and exciting. Until about a year ago. And there's still some good moments, here and there. When I voice my concerns, he listens. He's had my back and called up his friend when he posted an anti-feminist rant on my Facebook wall knowing full well I'm a huge HUGE feminist. He cooks me supper when I'm stressed, and he's always been very patient with when my anxiety gets out of control. I avoid social situations, I avoid talking to authority, and I avoid talking about my needs, wants, and anything that is personal. So does my partner. And as a result, our relationship is at a point where I feel I actually just live with a roommate. [more inside]
posted by claireberts on Dec 7, 2015 - 17 answers

Security Refund, roommate did not give adequate notice

I'm in NYC. Our written agreement requires a minimum of 30 days notice if he is going to leave (also 30 days if I want him out). Wednesday he told me he is leaving today (Friday), and probably won't be back, but may want to come back in 2 weeks if his new job does not work out (he is on vacation from current one). [more inside]
posted by sentientsock on Nov 12, 2015 - 6 answers

Falling in love with my roommate

Looking for advice on how to cope, NOT on how to hit on him [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2015 - 23 answers

How to live with someone you're afraid of provoking?

How do you live with someone when you're not sure what might set off their temper? (Long term, hopefully you don't. But I mean, in the meantime.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2015 - 100 answers

Advice for subletting a room - when you have a flatmate?

My roommate and I signed a 16th month lease back in January. Great place in SF. But I just made a positive life decision which means I need to move out. Have you ever sublet a room? What advice do you have? More details inside... [more inside]
posted by Mushroom12345 on Jul 23, 2015 - 18 answers

Do roommate-finding services work for people who are middle-aged?

My current roommate is taking a job across the country. For twenty-odd years, I've roomed with a friend or friends, so the last time I had to actually look for a roommate, I placed an ad in the paper. Ha ha ha. How does a single forty-something woman find a compatible roommate in Chicago nowadays? Note: Please do not suggest that I move out and find a studio or one-bedroom on my own. That is not on the table at the moment. [more inside]
posted by tzikeh on Jul 13, 2015 - 24 answers

Do I split the referral bonus with my roommate?

I recommended a friend to our apartment complex, which earns me a $200 referral bonus. My roommate has never met this friend, nor did she know I had recommended the place to her. My roommate seems to expect half of the bonus. Do I split it? If not, how do I bring it up? [more inside]
posted by efsrous on Jul 8, 2015 - 31 answers

Served a deadbeat and hostile roommate with eviction notice. Now what?

Posted on behalf of a friend, who lives in Florida: Me (Master Tenant) and 2 others (Co-Tenants) lease a house from a property management company. We have permission & authorization to sub-lease. I had to give proper notice for eviction due to failure to pay rent today. If he doesn't vacate, and I have to take him to court... do I have any reasonable expectation to actually collect un-paid rent and legal fees? [more inside]
posted by NMcCoy on Jul 8, 2015 - 9 answers

Obligated to talk to roomie about potential depression/drinking problem?

While she doesn't get obliterated, my roommate does drink a substantial amount most nights. I think she may be depressed. My friend pointed out that as her roommate I may be the only one aware of her behavior. Am I obligated to talk to her about it? How do I bring it up? [more inside]
posted by efsrous on Jun 20, 2015 - 17 answers

How do I tell my drama queen roommate that she needs to move out?

I'm afraid to ask my roommate to move out because there's a good chance she will make my life a living hell. What's the best way to go about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 12 answers

The Curious Case of the Angry Non-Tenant

My housemate's fiance changed her address to ours without telling any of us, is taking up a lot of space with her stuff in the kitchen and bathroom, and just left a nasty letter under my door. She is not a tenant. How do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Jun 2, 2015 - 27 answers

Roommate moved out; his brother moved in; I didn't get a say.

I've been living with a roommate I haven't been too happy with because I was very poor a few months ago and needed to find a roommate urgently so I could continue living in my apartment. It wasn't a great relationship but he gradually stopped staying in the apartment and indicated he had plans to move out in March. Then he let me know his brother would be moving into his room. [more inside]
posted by LSK on Mar 22, 2015 - 20 answers

Overcoming an unhealthy crush?

I have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend—and we are all roommates. How can I overcome these feelings when we are in such close proximity? [more inside]
posted by kaisemic on Mar 3, 2015 - 48 answers

Moving out, roommate upset

Life happened, and I am moving out four months before my lease is up. My roommate doesn't want a subletter because she's studying for her board exams in the next month, and also refuses to pay to cover the vacancy. She also doesn't want to discuss in person with me ("I have to go"), has ignored my email contact, and is making the landlord play messenger boy. I don't have time to argue with this nonsense, but would like to minimize hard feelings, grudges, etc., since she is in the same small grad program as I am and will be my colleague for the next year or two. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2015 - 79 answers

How to get someone to STFU and go away

My roommate works from home and it is driving me fucking insane. She is here 24/7. Her desk is in the living room and she's pretty much monopolized the common area. Additionally, she ALWAYS talks to me. Whether I'm just passing through the living room to pee, or I've just woken up, or any other time, she won't stop fucking talking. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Jan 29, 2015 - 80 answers

Romantic Triple Threat! How to move forward?

I’ve fallen for my coworker-friend-roommate I’ve known for a year-and-a-half, and I need advice on how to escalate without it all blowing up in my face. We've roomed together (just the two of us) for six weeks, but I've been away for half that time. Also, we get along well and flirt occasionally, but I’m the worst at reading signs. [more inside]
posted by Nunipaht on Dec 28, 2014 - 46 answers

Roommate help: is it snooping if i turn off the heat?

so I share an apartment with a colleague from University. It's getting cold now here in New England so obviously it's okay to turn the heat on sometimes. If youre home. Last night the roommate left and just out of curiosity, I open the door and was hit by a blast. It felt like a sauna. [more inside]
posted by mateuslee on Nov 8, 2014 - 14 answers

How to deal with a roommate who doesn't lock the door leading outside?

I live in a shared house (not a college dorm) with 8 others. I am the only woman in the house. One of my roommates refuses to lock the door going outside despite my respectful, reasonable requests to keep the house secure and locked, and he has acted rudely towards me. I emailed the landlord but haven't heard back yet. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2014 - 30 answers

What do?

I tried to make friends, I thought I did. I room with the one I once considered the closest to me, and now I'm starting to regret it. [more inside]
posted by ourt on Oct 8, 2014 - 33 answers

Who gets to keep the apartment?

My boyfriend and I are moving in together, and we need a place to live. Currently, I share the lease on a great apartment with a friend. We've been there the same amount of time. I did all the (considerable) work of finding and most of the work of furnishing this place, but I'm also the one instigating this change. Who gets to stay?
posted by the_blizz on Sep 15, 2014 - 28 answers

How much noise is usual and/or acceptable in a shared house?

I have been reflecting on my very recent experience in a house-share from which I am now, blessedly, removed. Specifically, I am doing some reflection on my issues with the noise level, and trying to figure out, for my own future reference, whether the noise levels in the house were reasonable or unreasonable. I would love the hive mind to weigh in about whether the following noise in a shared house is okay or not, as I am obviously not the most dispassionate judge at this point. [more inside]
posted by ClaireBear on Aug 21, 2014 - 31 answers

My flatmate's eating habits might be affecting my own...

My flatmate has certain eating habits that could be negatively influencing my own, but of course it's not my place to comment on her eating habits. It's stressful. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Aug 14, 2014 - 21 answers

Roommate scammer or just flakey?

I'm in Manhattan. I am the sole long term leaseholder for my apartment. I want to rent out a room as a month to month roommate agreement. I put out a craigslist ad, and Sunday PotentialRoomie saw it and agreed to move in Monday afternoon, and pay me security and 1st month when she moved in. [more inside]
posted by sentientsock on Aug 5, 2014 - 35 answers

My difficult roommate wants to stay...hooray

I have a difficult housemate who makes me stressed out and angry, has alienated my friends such that they don't want to come over to my house, and who my housemates and I asked to leave when the lease ends and the new lease begins. She refuses to leave. What happens now? [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Jun 21, 2014 - 35 answers

Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest?

Was my roommate appropriate in inviting this Guest? Hello, I currently live in an expensive city, and am subletting from a roommate. I'm a straight male in my mid20s, and he's a bit older than me. This roommate has quickly proven himself to be a truly wonderful individual, both in private and professional life. I would even go so far as to say I deeply admire him. He is starting at a new top notch hospital along with other residents. He offered a place on his couch to any of these new residents, for a day or two, as they get settled into the city. He told me this well in advance. A younger women took him up on his offer. A day before she was set to arrive, he told me he was extending his vacation and asked me to do the hosting. The truth is with her professional background and career, I don't doubt she is a very trustworthy person. And I also don't mind helping my roommate out, as he has really been very kind with me. With that said, I am uncertain if what he did is fair to his guest. She had never met my roommate before, and they only came in contact over a facebook page for new residents. And then a day before she was set to arrive, she found out he wouldn't even be here, and she would be sharing an apartment with me. [more inside]
posted by jjmoney on May 29, 2014 - 28 answers

help me not get screwed over by my roommate

My troublesome roommate is doing a last minute sublet of her room in our 2 BR apartment for the summer. The sublet seems a little shady to me, as she is not telling management and is just planning to have the renter pay her directly. Am I naive to think she should tell the apartment complex? She is also very behind in all of the bills (cable/electric/gas), so I'm worried about getting her to pay her share in full before the subletter moves in. Help me sort through the legality of all this to avoid finding myself in a bad situation. Also, talk to me about breaking an apartment lease. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on May 4, 2014 - 26 answers

How to Deal with Advice from Roommates

My roommate keeps giving me advice and nutritional tidbits. At first it was educational, but now I'm just irritated and annoyed, and I can't quite pinpoint why or how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by Puck Soppet on Apr 11, 2014 - 19 answers

Roommate Rules

I am getting a new roommate soon and this time, I want to do everything right. Please share your platonic cohabitation tips! [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 15, 2014 - 28 answers

Am I in danger?

Total snowstorm inside, in short my roommate for the next month has very, very different worldviews from me, does things I find offensive and might have access to a gun. He does not know that I am transgendered. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2014 - 65 answers

Keep it secret, keep it safe

I have been asked by my roommate's boyfriend to covertly find her ring size for an engagement ring. He suggested digging through her stuff until I find a ring to use with an online ring sizing guide. I'm uncertain whether the surprise factor is a bigger deal than the invasion of privacy. [more inside]
posted by Durin's Bane on Feb 27, 2014 - 57 answers

How best to handle moving out technically TONIGHT?

I procrastinated horribly and relied upon uncertain things, and I technically need to move out of my apartment tonight or I assume suffer consequences. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by destructive cactus on Feb 24, 2014 - 39 answers

Advice for a complicated roommate situation

Synopsis is that my roommate has severe PTSD and blames my own recent mental health problems for triggering a relapse in her. She has not acknowledged that this has been hard on me, only how it affected her. She wants me to move out, tried to get me evicted by the landlords (who favor her because she is younger), sent 5 hours of harassing texts to me on Monday. Because this is Wisconsin in February, there aren't a lot of apartments available, and I have to be extra picky because of a very fixed income and not having a car/relying on living near things and buslines. This is seriously impacting my own mental health now, worsening my depression/anxiety. I don't want to go through the stress of moving, especially since she didn't offer anything (like paying moving expenses). She feels as though she has done everything for me and I am an ungrateful traitor--there are a couple things I'd like to apologize/take responsibility for, but I don't want to do so if that will be construed as me taking responsibility for her relapse, something I will not do. We are both on the lease, which goes through August. I will answer any questions about details.
posted by mermaidcafe on Feb 20, 2014 - 20 answers

Murder in the Building. Roommate Needed.

How do I find a roommate for my recently stigmatized apartment? My Boyfriend and I moved into an apartment with the knowledge that we would eventually rent out the second bedroom. It's in a converted house, with a shared stairwell. We live on the third floor, the landlady and her family live on the second floor, and the tenant on the first floor was recently murdered by his roommates. The roommates are in prison and were arraigned last Friday. [more inside]
posted by superior julie on Feb 17, 2014 - 49 answers

because "wow, you're a terrible person" won't make me many friends

Getting to know your new roommates when a problematic roommate dominates it all [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Feb 8, 2014 - 22 answers

Tangled web woven with roommates. Ideas to untangle?

I'm in the middle with a strange roommate/landlord situation. Any ideas on how I can gracefully get out of this unscathed, while making sure everyone is happy? [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Feb 6, 2014 - 15 answers

Roommate has sudden medical issues, how to cope financially/emotionally?

Asking this on behalf of a close friend: "What do I do when a person I do not want to be close to is dying, or believes they are dying, in close quarters?" Her roommate has diabetes and has developed significant kidney issues, and is very upset and scared. Complicating factors: my friend expects that the roommate will be unable to pay his share of rent and bills, and she does not have the means to cover them on her own. Also, she has very sound reasons for not being emotionally close to him.
posted by NMcCoy on Feb 5, 2014 - 13 answers

When should guests pay rent?

I'd like opinions about whether I'm being unreasonable in wanting an extended guest of my roommate (their spouse actually) to pay a small portion of the rent while they're here. [more inside]
posted by captain cosine on Feb 4, 2014 - 38 answers

What to do about my roommate's surveillance camera?

I'm currently living in a small apartment with two bedrooms and one roommate. My roommate has exhibited some odd behavior in the past, but in the last week things have gotten weird. Help me negotiate this situation. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2014 - 38 answers

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