Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with romantic

Rom-Com Advice Giver

EmGeeJay — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:14:53 -0800

I'm looking for the name of a (late-'80s?) romantic comedy based on my memory of a particular scene. The lead male (either Billy Crystal or a Billy Crystal-type) attempts to give advice to the lead female. She says that she wants to leave town and go somewhere, and he says, "So go." She counters with the reasons she has to stay; he deadpans, "So don't go." This goes back and forth two or three times. (It may have been "get married" instead of "go," but the important thing is the "So ____." / "So don't _____." structure. I'm reasonably sure that it's not When Harry Met Sally. Thanks a lot!)

Birthday delivery ideas beyond flowers?

Naberius — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 07:45:07 -0800

For work reasons, I'm spending this week far from home, which means I'm going to miss my girlfriend's birthday tomorrow. Boo! We're going to make up for it when I get home, but I still want to mark the occasion by having something delivered to her at work. The obvious choice is flowers, of course. But can you suggest something else romantic and sweet that would be less obvious? Something I can arrange remotely and have delivered to an office in Herndon, Va. tomorrow?

Rom coms where the love interest is introduced later?

allnamesaretaken — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 15:39:28 -0800

The standard format for a romantic comedy has both key characters introduced very early in the script/movie -- say, in the first ten pages/minutes. I'm looking for examples of romantic comedies where one of the romantic leads is introduced later in the movie. I'm looking for examples of romantic comedies along the following lines:

(1) Examples of romantic comedies where one character is introduced early, and the other romantic partner is introduced later ... say, in the last half of the movie?

(2) Examples of romcoms where a love interest is not introduced in the first ten minutes/pages, and is still introduced somewhat later but not as late as the last half.

Thanks!

Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly beans, boom!

lesli212 — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 19:28:51 -0800

I'm looking for romantic end-of-the-world themed activities. Movies to cuddle during, food to make and eat, music to dance to, alcohol to drink. I'm thinking it'll be a primarily movie/dinner night. It's specifically related to the Mayan "apocalypse" happening on the 21st. Punny ideas are most welcome.

When it comes to movies, scary stuff is ok, especially if it's funny-scary or so-bad-it's-good, but it should not be too gruesome or too depressing.

As far as food, vegetarian food is best, though stuff with fish is ok. Don't worry, we will drink xocolatl! (Or, you know, Nesquik.)

Looking for romance on Netflix streaming

youcancallmeal — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:05:27 -0800

Seeking quirky romantic movies that are on Netflix streaming. Think along the lines of Garden State and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

I don't really care if they have famous actors or are even in English, I'm just looking for films with that weird, lovey, cozy vibe to watch as I'm falling to sleep.

A first dance is not unreasonable!

PuppetMcSockerson — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 05:29:06 -0800

A problem that isn't one but still is: my partner and I are planning on getting married next fall. YAAAY! But I feel like I'm getting made fun of constantly by my sister for it... Background:
- I'm in my early 30s, my boyfriend is in his late 30s
- I'm the youngest of three kids, all women
- I will be the first of us to get married
- my family all approve of my relationship with my partner, they all like him, so no issue around that
- my middle sister is in a long term relationship with a man but not married and they don't particularly want to marry. They are very happy together though. I do NOT believe there is any element of jealousy in this.
- my eldest sister is single, has been single for basically her whole life, doesn't date (to my knowledge), and communicates an ambivilance towards marriage (but has expressed some interest in being in a relationship)
- my dad is very pro-my marrying my partner, but he would be fine with it just being a quick and dirty thing with like 4 people there and that's it.
- my mom is very pro-my marrying my partner too, but thankfully she is on board with basically everything my partner and I have been discussing and she is the only one in my immediate family that is fine with the cheesy stuff.

My family is close, but not at all the schmatlzy touchy feely type. For whatever reason *I* am, but they aren't. It is to the point where I still feel a little uncomfortable using the word "love" around my family and I feel uncomfortable showing physical affection around my family as well WITH CAUSE. The first time my sisters met my partner I gave him a brief kiss and hug outside at the car when he left. My middle sister saw through the window and made fun of me for it, not in a kind way but in a "give me a break" way. I'm sure she felt it was harmless but it just reinforced what I was already scared of, namely that any display of affection, no matter how innocent, would be mocked.

Before you ask, yes, there is a long history of my sisters (especially my middle sister) being very mocking and unkind towards me. I always sought the approval of my sisters as a kid but never got it. Instead I was purposefully excluded. My middle sister even went out of her way many times when we were kids to try to humiliate me in front of friends. It went beyond normal sister behaviour, her behaviour was often cruel, and it was a major concern to my parents. It wasn't until my mid/late 20's that she and I have managed to have any sort of normal, grown-up relationship, but it is a little strained and there are still emotional wounds that I carry. I know I need to let is go, I doubt they are even aware of the baggage I carry (I've tried to bring it up a few times but am instantly declared to be way off base, exaggerating, and dismissed), but I definitely have baggage and it still hurts. Irritatingly, I still catch myself doing things to try to get my sisters' approval and I am often crushed when it is denied.

So back to the wedding...

My partner and I want to have a small-ish (50-60 people), not too fussy, non-religious wedding, with the ceremony occuring out doors on my parents property. We're keeping things fairly inexpensive and simple, and I'm not hung up on anything apart from just ending the day being married to my partner. BUT the problem comes from our wanting to include some traditional/schmaltzy elements. Stuff like my walking down an aisle, my partner and I having our first dance, etc. As an example, when I mentioned to my father something about ceremony he said something along the lines of how we don't need an aisle because I obviously won't need to do that. Um, what? yes, I want to walk down an aisle!

So here is my issue. My partner and I intend to include elements in our wedding that I know are going to be mocked. The fact that I am even getting married has garnered some comments, and my middle sister recently went off on a tirade about how weddings are a sham and a waste of money. I don't think she meant it directed towards me, I think she forgot that I am here trying to plan my wedding, I think she was just making a general statement (possibly because she is feeling pressure to get married herself). It still really bothered me.

So I am worried that my middle sister and to a degree, my father are going to spend the whole wedding rolling their eyes and making fun of the fact that my partner and I dared have a first dance or had a cheesy romantic photo taken. God FORBID I include a heart ANYWHERE in the wedding. I have already decided that my cousin is going to be my maid of honour and that I'm not going to have bridesmaids. This is mostly because my cousin is the closest person to me (aside from my partner) and I love her dearly and is the only person I want to be up there with me, but also in part because I don't want any push back on any of my plans. I know my middle sister is almost definitely relieved (though I think my eldest sister is disappointed). I also have not been talking to either of them about the wedding or any details that my partner and I have been planning because I don't want to deal with the jokes and mockery.

So how do I keep from getting upset and bothered every time I get made fun of for doing something the majority of people would think was totally normal? How do I not let her disdain of anything romantic not ruin the fun of planning the wedding, or the day of the wedding, or ruin my memory of the wedding by making fun of me for it after the fact? The only thing I have come up with is to send an email out to my whole family (not just her), saying "Look, I get it, you guys don't really buy in to the romantic touchy feely stuff, but my partner and I do so there are going to be some elements in our wedding that you're going to think are stupid. Please don't joke about them or make comments or anything else because that will just upset me and I know you wouldn't want that.", but doing a pre-emptive email like that seems like overkill and, to be honest, I would probably be made fun of for sending an email like that out...

A Nice Night Out Near Augusta, Maine?

The Whelk — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 14:41:54 -0800

Recommend me a nice/ special occasioin restaurant within an hour's drive of Augusta, ME? Pretty self explanatory, looking for a nicer, romantic place for dinner within an hours drive of Augusta. Ideally it's in a place that can explored/hung out in for a while before dinner but not necessary. No other restrictions aside from ' they take reservations.'

behold my contradiction! We're picky foodies!

PuppetMcSockerson — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 11:22:49 -0800

Montreal Dining Filter: My partner and I are having a HELL of a time deciding on a restaurant for a romantic dinner out in Monteal in a few weeks time. We're picky eaters that really enjoy good gourmet food... A contradiction but true. AU SECOURS! 1. He is allergic to shellfish (shrimp, lobster, scallops, clams, etc), and I don't LIKE most shellfish (aside from scallops)
2. Neither of us eat:
- veal (this seems to be the biggest issue, it seems to be a primary protein for most places)
- rabbit
- organ meat of any sort (sweetbreads, liver, tripe, etc). Fois Gras is included in this.
- miscellaneous body parts of animals (pig trotters, brain, neck, marrow, etc)
3. I don't eat lamb (childhood trauma, long story)

Foods we do like:
- Beef muscle (we eat our steaks rare)
- Chicken muscle
- Pig muscle (but not the feet/ears/etc)
- just about all fish
- just about all veg
- Scallops (for me)
- Lamb (for him)

We want:
1. Reasonable distance from the Bell Center (we'll be cabbing)
2. delicious food prepared well and beautifully plated
3. French, Italian, or Fusion cuisine preferable
4. Romantic atmosphere (not excessively loud, dress/suit jacket kind of dress code, multiple forks on the table type place)
5. PREFER a BYOB, but we'll survive if it isn't.
6. a price point of $40ish per entree is fine

Romantic getaway hotels near Bay Area?

tessalations999 — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 20:35:51 -0800

Cheap wine county hotels/motels/ B&B's? I am planning a romantic getaway in August. We want to check out an area 1-2 hours away from San Francisco, and preferably in Napa or Sonoma. But, if you know of other romantic weekend getaways, we are open to exploring! We have been to hot springs that were also amazing. We are on a budget, but sifting through Kayak and hotels.com is a chore and not always accurate, so we would love your recommendations. Thanks so much!

Eroguro nonsense

shii — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 07:14:19 -0800

Recommend me smart films that celebrate abnormal romance. My girlfriend and I are weird people and want some happy romantic films to put us in the mood. We both enjoy psychological stuff, and both of us have slight tendencies towards BDSM and eroguro; a film where two people fit their abnormalities together would be great, although other kinds of film would also work. This is way too much information, so I'll give some examples of films in the right category.

Amelie would be perfect, but she's seen it many times already. The girl seems to match some aspects of my girlfriend's personality.

L'Histoire d'O will probably work, but it depends on our mood. It's a pretty damn erotic film.

MIND GAME could work. (This is a Japanese existentialist film where an introvert falls into a whale with his lifelong crush, and they make love inside the whale. There's also a lot of flashbacks and time travel.)

Secretary matches the general idea, although I thought it was a kind of simplistic and unintelligent tale.

Let The Right One In is not exactly upbeat, and could leave us cold for most of the time, but we will both enjoy the eroguro.

Kill Bill is not a romance film at all but could possibly work depending on our mood, due to the eroguro factor.

I have never seen The Phantom of the Opera -- does it fit?

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is not the sort of thing I have in mind. I don't want to rant in a question space but it seems utterly mundane to me-- I mean, I'd rather watch "Love Actually", which at least has a really philosophical sense to it.

How do I stick to my guns and break up?

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 07:36:15 -0800

I've determined that I need to get out of my current live-in romantic relationship. How do I stick to my guns and break up? I've determined that I need to get out of my current live-in romantic relationship of 3 years.

I tried to end things several months ago, but caved in upon promises of change, which have subsequently not materialized.

This time, I am tempted to actually move out while he is out of town next week. I feel guilty about this because it seems so abrupt
and I know he will be shocked; even though it shouldn't come as a complete surprise that I am breaking up with him, I think the method would. But I fear that if I don't make that huge commitment of actually finding a new place and moving my stuff out, I may backslide again and continue on in this relationship that is not working. I have started looking for places and have been approved for one, but haven't signed the lease yet.

I still care about him, in fact I genuinely consider him my best friend, and it is excruciating contemplating doing something that will hurt him. I'm also terrified of being on my own again, already feeling how lonely it will be. I have no friends in this geographic area, which makes that feeling worse. Yes, I plan to take steps to make them, but the point is NOW I do not have anyone supportive other than long-distance friends and family, which makes the prospect of breaking up with my SO even worse, and is one reason I fear backsliding from this decision. For a variety of reasons I don't want to get into, it is harder to make friends while attached to my SO.

We have no kids, no pets, separate finances, and a month-to-month lease. Neither of us could afford our apartment on our own, and he especially is in a bad financial place and may have difficulty even affording another apartment in this area at all. This adds to my guilt.

This is a "too good to leave, too bad to stay" situation, which is one reason it has been so difficult to come to a firm decision and why it is easy for me to backslide. Some things are good, but the things which are bad are things I am really not ok with; I've been tolerating the intolerable, and have been very unhappy for many months. I think we are essentially incompatible. We fight frequently and both the reasons for the fights and the fights themselves have chipped away at my trust in him and my enthusiasm for this relationship. He is not happy either but I am fairly certain he won't want to break up.

I've thought of offering the option of "trial separation" both to make things easier for him to accept and to appease my inner unreasonable hopeful voice, but I don't think that's really the right way to do it. I have to find a way to bite the bullet.

So my questions are: How mean or unethical is it to move out while a partner is away without telling them until after the fact?

And secondly: How can I be sure I won't backslide this time and continue our relationship in some manner? What are ways of approaching this, emotionally and/or practically, that will make it "stick" this time?

Thoughts from people who have overcome their own waffly tendencies and made the change they know they needed to make?

Thoughts from people who LEFT a "too good to leave, too bad to stay" relationship?

Thank you!!

how to tell if a shy guy likes you?

happyjuice — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:18:40 -0800

how can you tell if a sort of shy guy is into you? i'm pretty shy myself, so it's a bit of a conundrum.

so... there's this guy in my class at university who i definitely have a crush on. we never really talked in class or anything, but after the last couple of classes, he's caught up with me on the way out of school. one time he asked me a question about my dress and said that he liked it, and we ended up talking a little bit about music. then the next class, he asked me about my spring break plans and whether i was going to see any music in town, and we talked about that a little. he asked if i was coming to this little meeting for our class after school, and i decided (more upon him asking about it than anything) that i'd go.

after our class meeting thing, another girl suggested that a group of us go out for drinks. i hesitated a bit, and he said he had some homework to do, but after i said something to the girl about going for a drink, he decided to come along. (i don't know if this was related to me going or not, but it sort of seemed like it, maybe... there were about five of us.)

he ordered two drinks at the bar (we just sort of ended up standing next to each other, so i wouldn't assume this was planned), and when i got out some money to pay, he said, "you can owe me one..." (i bought him a reciprocal drink later.) chilled with the group a while, and ended up talking amongst ourselves for a bit, but i couldn't really tell whether he was into me or not.

ended up that when everyone decided to leave, our cars were in the same direction (he asked me where i was parked), and he walked me back to my parking garage. he gave me a hug and told me he hoped i had a nice spring break and that maybe we'd see each other at the festival later or something... but didn't ask for my number or anything.

sorry this post is so awkward and little-kid-like! hah. i'd just like your thoughts! :)

...just being friendly?

It's been a while...

StrictlyVague — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:32:09 -0800

Romantic date ideas in SF for next Friday (3/9)? Is this even a good idea or am I jumping the gun? I've been spending some time with a woman. (a Lunch, a day out at a museum, another day out + shopping)

We get a long pretty well - but I find it a bit hard to read her. Is she interested in me in the same way I am with her? Am I totally in the friend zone? (Obviously we haven't kissed, held hands, or anything else.)

I was thinking of planning something a bit more traditionally romantic next Friday evening. Maybe do the "buy flowers, dinner, show" kind of thing.

Her interests: ballet, pop music, etc.

As for $, I'd like to spend no more than $300 on this evening (or even less - but let's just say i've been saving up for an occasion like this.) We're in our late 20's - and both a little new to SF.

I guess there's two questions here:
1. Being that I'm not sure of her interest in me - is this a good idea? Too fast?

2. Got any romantic date intineraries handy?

What is Real Life, non-Hollywood romance?

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:47:13 -0800

Please explain romance to an asexual aromantic who's wobbling on the romantic identification. What's the difference between romance and friendship? I've identified as asexual for several years now, that is a comfortable identification for me. I have enough of a grip on sexual attraction that I can identify that I don't feel it. This question isn't about my sexual orientation, but I just wanted to clarify that I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, and that not having a sexual relationship isn't a problem for me. But it does complicate the romantic thing.

And I still I don't get this romance thing. How do things feel different with a person you want to be romantically involved with vs someone who is a good friend? What are the things/actions that separate romance from friendship? Is the difference just about the Grand Actions of Romance? What's the difference between a 'bromance' and a homo-romantic relationship? Is there any?

I know I want someone in my life, but it doesn't have to be a primary relationship. I think living with a good friend would be enough. But I'm starting to question that a little. I'm starting to think that a bromance is the best format of relationship I'm looking for, (though I'm female and don't particularly care about the gender of the partner). But hey, maybe that's what a romantic relationship is, maybe I don't need to start tweaking the terms? But then again, maybe that's just a good friendship and aromantic (someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction) is the best definition for how I feel.

I'd just like a general breakdown on how romantic relationships feel to people who know what they're feeling.

Half way to Atlanta in December?

atomicstone — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:45:12 -0800

Looking for a long weekend vacation spot to road-trip to [in the middle/end of December-January] that's about equidistant for driving from Washington, DC AND Atlanta. Boyfriend and I and boyfriend's best friend and girlfriend want to meet up for a long weekend [let's say leaving as early as a Thursday night, returning Sunday or even Monday]. The boys think beach in Winter....OK.
The question is where-preferably somewhere equally between Atlanta and Washington, DC, but doesn't have to be exact. Also, non-beach locations are happily accepted as idea. We like, well, most anything including artsy stuff, outdoor stuff and good food/drinking kind of stuff.

Please help me plan something fun & romantic & gay (in both senses of the word) in NYC this Saturday.

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:34:22 -0800

Please help me plan something fun & romantic & gay (in both senses of the word) in NYC this Saturday. (Posting anonymously because my significant other reads MeFi on occasion and knows my username, and I want to avoid spoiling the surprise.)

My SO and I are celebrating our five-year anniversary this Saturday. I have been thinking of a couple of different thing that we could do to celebrate, but also wanted to ask MeFi for ideas - because you guys always come up with some great ones. Ideally, I'd love to find some great romantic thing we could do beyond the stereotypical "riding in a hansom cab through Central Park." I am open to any kind of suggestions - a great restaurant that you went to, a great show you saw recently, a couples' massage you can recommend - really, the broader the variety, the better. A couple of background points to the extent it helps focus the suggestions: we are two guys in our early 30s, moved to New York just recently and are still exploring the area, and don't have a car (so ideally, we'd stick to something in Manhattan). I was able to set aside some money for this, given that five years is kind of a big deal, so I don't have a strict $ cut-off.

Thanks in advance, everyone!

Am I expecting too much?

sleeping beauty — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:54:23 -0800

Reasonable Interaction Wishes: Okay out there, help me either adjust my expectations or hold out for communication/relational interaction I'm wanting. Am I expecting too much? I'm an introvert but a deeply-relational one. After years in a relationship with a very shy and relationally challenged man, I'm dating again. But I'm finding myself frustrated because the men I have dated recently don't seem to want the kind of regular communication/interaction I do. Am I still just choosing the "wrong guy"?

Specific examples:
Bachelor number 1 is verbally expressive and complimentary (which is a great change from the ex) and when he spends time with me, he can express appreciation for who I am. However, his idea of a relationship is seeing a woman every two weeks for an evening and then, if his workload allows, getting in a 10 minute phone call or skype once or twice a week.

Bachelor number 2 has initiated about a once a week skype (this one is long distance), a text message maybe once every day or two (two lines), invited me for a visit and offered to share costs (bonus points), but seems to rely on me for the communication initiation.

Bachelor number 3 is local, will text frequently, often at his own initiative when he doesn't hear from me (and often back and forth a dozen times throughout the day/eve -- which I LOVE -- just the interaction and indication that he WANTS to connect with me and is thinking about me), meets me for coffee a couple of times a week (mostly my suggestion), initiates getting together for 'sexercise'...but doesn't want to talk or go out for dates.

Okay, so here's what I'd like:
I imagine a "real" relationship to include:

Being pretty excited about each other, especially at first. And wanting to talk every day. For the long-distance, at least a meaningful conversation at night before bed. Not just a ten-minute token that feels like he's trying to do his "duty." (15-30 minutes....or occasionally an hour or more indicates a guy is really into me, likes talking/being with me and it's mutual).

He wants to see me....(I want to see him -- and Skype will suffice, long distance). And if he is really into me, more often than once a week.

He wants to "do stuff" together. This doesn't happen all up front, but going walking/hiking, seeing a film or concert, cooking together, or just being in the same space while working on our own things. To me, that's a normal relationship and I want that, but....is that impossible to have?

Eventually, he wants to keep me around and enjoys my company/presence in his life enough that he (as I will) is willing to "pay the price...make the sacrifice" -- to go out of his way and put his heart and some serious actions out there. Take vacation time to go on a trip with me...and maybe even pay for it if he can (I'm a big girl and pay for myself, but someone doing that for me would be SO refreshing).

I swing between either expecting too much or not enough. I just feel confused now as to what is even possible and reasonable. I've balanced out a lot of codependent tendencies....and sometimes I fear I'm TOO independent now....take care of myself and don't expect anyone to...and yet, I'm finding myself feeling starved for a mutual, mutually desirous, mutually "I wanna spend time with you" relationship.

Am I expecting too much in terms of time and "wanna spend time with you?" Please understand that even though I want this regular connection, I still am introverted and need time alone, completely detached from all people on a fairly regular basis. I take trips to a cabin alone every couple of months and need regular "work on my art/writing" solitary time. I also have friends and support so I'm not looking to one person to meet all the emotional needs.

Romantic bars in Chicago?

swingbraid — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 12:43:08 -0800

Anyone know of a romantic bar in Chicago to go for after-dinner drinks on a Friday night? My SO and I are going to dinner next Friday, and I want to take him for a drink or two afterwards. I like lounge-y places with really low lighting, and small tables--or little sofas-- to allow footsies or hand-holding. It doesn't have to be empty or whisper-quiet, I just want us to be able to create our own little world and not have to yell to be heard.

We usually go to friendly neighborhood bars or gastropubs, so I'm really out of the loop when it comes to places like what I've described. I want to do something a bit different because next week we're reuniting after spending three months apart while he worked overseas.

We're having dinner in Lakeview, and then eventually returning to Rogers Park. Anyplace that's either between or accessible to those two 'hoods (via CTA or a short taxi trip) would be great, but I'm okay with going out of the way for a strong recommendation.

Thanks for your help!

Where do we go to 'get away from it all'?

xiaolongbao — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 22:17:38 -0800

Perfect beach getaway for a couple in early October? So, this couple hasn't ever taken a real vacation together - in 6 years! Halp!

We need:
- advice
- sunshine (as well as can be predicted)
- beach (fine sand a big plus), warmer waters also a plus
- reliable wifi
- not a cruise

We're considering:
- Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica (how bad will the wet season be in Oct. on the Caribbean side?)
- Nassau, Bahamas
- Kauai, Hawaii
- Miami Beach
- Grand Cayman

We'd rather not do Mexico as one of us isn't too comfortable there. What say you, metafilter? Can you recommend a spot that can't be beat for a couple in October? Price not a huge issue but we'd like to keep it to 1 or 2k per person for 5 to 7 days. We're leaving from NYC.

Thx in advance for your suggestions!

- xiaolongbao

Mix CD: Sexy Songs, Awesome Bassline

aabbbiee — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 14:22:35 -0800

I'm looking for sexy and romantic songs with a wicked bass line. I want to put together a killer mix CD for my musician boyfriend, one that he will appreciate and enjoy. But my lack of music knowledge is getting in my way of creating this awesome mix. I need some help!

He plays electric bass (among other instruments), so I'm looking for songs with an awesome bassline. I am all about the lyrics, though, and I need the songs to be sexy and romantic. I want to make a good makeout mix that he can enjoy even when we're not together.

Genre-wise, decade-wise, I am flexible. We both love all kinds of music. (We're both in our mid-30s if that means anything.) I am hoping for more obscure or deep cut tracks rather than anything obvious (obvious here meaning '90s-'00s indie/college radio standards, though I can make exceptions). Personally, I love '60s-'70s pop and funk. As for him, he's played in blues & flamenco groups as well as more standard rock, as far as I know, and has mentioned repeated love for New Order, Tears for Fears, and other '80s bands that I have only passing familiarity with. But overall he has an encyclopedic knowledge of music that spans time and space (and kicks some regular ass at trivia night).

I so want to impress him, guys, not necessarily with obscurity, but with quality and mood. I have just been flailing about on this project for months now. It is a daunting task. Please help!

Honeymoon Planning Help!

Equiprimordial — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 23:28:39 -0800

Santorini Honeymoon-Has anyone been to Santorini, Greece and could recommend a hotel that was romantic and beautiful but not outlandishly expensive- Let's say $200 per night or less, or a package deal. We are looking to go in September. Thanks so much for your help.

Where in the Pacific Northwest should I ask her to marry me?

jstef — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 12:06:22 -0800

Next week, my girlfriend (fiance, soon!) and I are driving from Oakland up to Portland and I'm going to ask her to marry me. She knows this already, but doesn't know when or where along the trip. So, I'm wondering if you local yokels can give me some ideas about when to go for it. Our plan right now is:

Monday morning (early): Drive via I-5 to Umpqua National Forest. There's gorgeous waterfalls and this seems like the time to pop the question.
Tues: Chilling in hot springs and hiking/biking around forest.
Wed: Driving to Portlandia. We're staying at Kennedy School.
Thurs: Hanging out in Portland. We're switching hotels to Crystal hotel.
Fri: Chill in Portland, then heading out to the coast, driving south on 101. Finding a beach to camp at.
Sat-Mon: Just leisurely making our way back home, driving and camping along the coast.

My current plan is to ask her at the waterfalls on Monday or Tuesday and then we'll have the days in Portland in the hotel to... *ahem* However, I am thinking that building up the suspense and asking her later-- on the way back down the 101, might also be cool. But that contradicts the fact that I'm just anxious as hell to put this ring on her finger. :)

Any suggestions on how to make this more romantic and special for her? We're not "picture people", but I'll probably be asking strangers to snap some shots of us, so pretty scenery would be great.

Also, cool Norcal, Portland, and Oregon suggestions on what to do/where to eat are appreciated!

Just Chill Music

Fairchild — Sun, 22 May 2011 12:01:49 -0800

What is your favorite cool and relaxing music? I love the arrangement of Adele's cover of The Cure's Lovesong.
When I listen to this song, I feel like I'm in a cool hotel lobby/restaurant/coffee shop. What are some other songs that give off this vibe?

I know of Diana Krall. I know of Nora Jones. I know about the Hotel Costes mixes. Who and what else? Thanks.

Is it normal to be a female and not have many (okay, any) close guy friends?

sunnychef88 — Fri, 06 May 2011 08:57:32 -0800

Is it normal to be a female and not have many (okay, any) close guy friends? Should I actively pursue friendships with guys? I mean close guy friends. The type of guy friend you call up to "hang out" and watch a movie, or whatever else it is that girls with guy friends do with them.

I didn't grow up with brothers. My older sister and mother are the two most important people in my life, and they don't seem to worry about guy friends either (referring more to my sister, obviously). I'd describe my sister and myself as independently-minded, feminine ("girly"?) ladies who are generally well-liked because we're good conversationalists and nice to people. I'm tall, attractive (men hit on me a fair bit), educated, well groomed, interested in other people and the world, articulate, and smile/laugh easily - approachable, no? I have 3 or 4 very close female friends, with whom I share my hopes/fears/feelings and all that great stuff involved with close friendships. My female friends are exceptional. They are all very secure with themselves, smart, and supportive. I repel dramatic and insecure women naturally, I guess.

It's not the case with guys at all. Sure, I've met guys with whom I've interacted in the context of various student groups and clubs. We are always on friendly terms, and have good conversations and banter in person. One of them texted me to hang out a few times, but then I figured out he had feelings for me and I put an end to that, so as not to have to let him down later.

I tried to ask a couple of guys to lunch, and they didn't seem keen on it. Honestly though, I am also confused about why you would be friends with a guy in the first place. The couple friendships that have started to grow have turned into crushes from my end (whereas in the beginning, there were no romantic feelings). Reflecting on that, I've never made an effort to be around some guy I see having zero dating potential.

Should I try to ask guys to "hang out" more? Why aren't they asking me to do buddy-buddy type stuff?

This issue is confusing for me, and as an reflective, introspective person who loves exploring human nature, it's a bit of a puzzle. Care to shed some light on the guy-girl friendship scenario?

I need a book club book that is connected somehow to 'Frankenstein'.

bq — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:06:09 -0800

I need a non-fiction companion to 'Frankenstein' for my book club. My book club is reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein next month. We alternate between fiction and non-fiction, and I would like to suggest a non-fiction book that relates to Frankenstein as a follow up.

Ideally I'd like something that deals with the romantics and their circle, or with Mary Shelley's famous mother, Mary Wollstonecraft. I'm also open to something non-historical dealing with the technological themes of Frankenstein. Or something about the filming of 'Young Frankenstein'. As long as there is some connection, and the book fits the following book-club-friendly criteria:

1) not too long - long books always get shot down
2) not too dense - readable
3) not too new - no-one wants to buy an expensive hardback because there are 400 people waiting for it at the library

Bonus points if it's in the public domain and can be downloaded for free to ereaders. (hey, a girl can dream)