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Describe going from "date" to "relationship"

I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

 

I need help finding a specific type of book.

When I was a kid, there seemed to be a million of a certain type of romance novel on the market. They would be less "romantic" and more "dramatic" and "sordid", the type of books that would have, say, a pale pink cover with a picture of a tiger lily and a string of pearls, with titles like "deception" written in swooshy letters. [more inside]
posted by windykites on Mar 8, 2014 - 28 answers

Love songs with dark, disturbing music and lyrics

I am looking for songs about love and/or obsession that feature a creepy / dark / disturbing aesthetic. [more inside]
posted by Noisy Pink Bubbles on Mar 1, 2014 - 78 answers

Give me some of that sexy, sexy self-loathing

Book recommendation filter: Guy loves girl. Guy hates himself for it. Romantic drama ensues. [more inside]
posted by pretentious illiterate on Feb 6, 2014 - 18 answers

Seeking names to one classic movie and a couple SF/F stories

My google-fu is not helping me on these, this is sort of a disjointed question, for whatever reason a few disjointed memories have come to mind recently from media I once consumed, I can usually figure out the sources if I can piece together this much memory but I haven't managed to with these ones. I read/watched these long ago. This is one classic romantic-comedy and various SF/F novels and short stories. [more inside]
posted by elista on Jan 27, 2014 - 6 answers

I feel like I’m not good enough. How can I battle my depression

I’m a 25 year old female and have been going through a lot of depression over the past year, mostly in the areas of finance and romance. [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Jan 25, 2014 - 19 answers

What happens in Vegas...

I have recently been diagnosed with a serious health condition which means after a few months I might not be able to go on holiday for many years. I want to go on Holiday and my bf doesn't. DTMF? [more inside]
posted by krisb1701d on Jan 8, 2014 - 41 answers

Married to our jobs, but seeing each other on the side

How do I avoid shop talk on dates? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Jan 8, 2014 - 34 answers

Jessa-fy my relationship

What fun, romantic, slightly edgy things could I do with my boyfriend? Things are really good between the two of us, and we are not particularly "edgy" people. He is extremely sweet and actually a bit of an introvert. But we often joke that deep down inside, he has a part of him that wants to be wild and carefree, and flirt with danger. We refer to this as his "inner Jessa" after the obnoxious character on the series Girls who lives for the thrills and doesn't care what people think. What surprises could I spring on him that will appeal to his inner Jessa? What have you done for your boyfriend/girlfriend along these lines? It should be something fun, unconventional and maybe slightly transgressing society's accepted boundaries. [more inside]
posted by creeky on Dec 29, 2013 - 18 answers

How do I deal with my spouse having an external romantic relationship?

I found out my partner of 20 years/spouse of 11 was having an emotional/romantic affair with our best friend and lied to me about it. Now that we've gone through the initial reveal, I've told her I've forgiven her; she's hinting she's been thinking about romantic relationships outside of our marriage. tl;dr- Are we done here or can this be saved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 49 answers

It's Complicated (But Not Really)

What would you call this type of relationship? [more inside]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing on Oct 29, 2013 - 43 answers

Poetry Filter: Challenge Level, Romantic Gay Wedding

I may or may not have to present during the wedding ceremony and the following dance and performance numbers, but I'd at least like to have a great poem to present as a framed gift with some photos. [more inside]
posted by snsranch on Oct 27, 2013 - 10 answers

Looking for romance novels where "still waters run deep".

Looking for well written, character-driven romance novels or romantic novels where the hero is in fact alpha/dominant/protective/whatever but also smart enough to realize that it's not always the most useful thing to be. Specifically, looking for heroes that are introduced as unassuming, "normal" characters or introduced as unable to harm/control the heroine (e.g. because of a spell) where it later turns out to be untrue. [more inside]
posted by ethidda on Oct 4, 2013 - 9 answers

Name that reincarnation novel

Trying to name a novel where a couple finds each other throughout different lives/reincarnations by placing newspaper ads. [more inside]
posted by Flannery Culp on Oct 1, 2013 - 6 answers

Advice: Am I Dealing with a Sociopath or Not?

Hi all, I am in quite a complicated situation. Would love advice from all in terms of who I am dealing with, and the best path forward. I will try to summarize as much as possible, and please let me know if I am unclear in any area. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Sep 15, 2013 - 30 answers

Lets get it on, or get it off!

I’m going for a “One final attempt to straighten things out” about our sex life. Ineed a few lines to take and thought to hold on to so that I don’t come across as aggressive or needy or at least not slightly responsible... [more inside]
posted by krisb1701d on Sep 5, 2013 - 16 answers

Should I just google this?

What do I need to know about promoting my small online business using Google AdWords? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on Aug 26, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm 27 and I don't want a partner

At 27 years old, I really should be 'out there,' looking for a partner. So why does the mere thought of dating fill me with utter dread? [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Aug 13, 2013 - 39 answers

Is this limerence? Because it sucks.

Whenever I get into a romantic/sexual relationship I always start feeling obsessive. I am totally sick of it because when it kicks in, it completely obscures what's really going on in the relationship, whether good or bad. [more inside]
posted by summer sock on Aug 10, 2013 - 9 answers

Got period right before big romantic getaway, can this trip be saved?

(NSFW) The boyfriend are supposed to leave for a big romantic getaway tomorrow, but I just got my period. How can we still have fun together? [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Aug 3, 2013 - 29 answers

Out of love, want back in

I have fallen out of love with my husband. I want to be back in love with him, but I don't know what to do. Help? Very extended details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2013 - 41 answers

Crush Limbo

Last week I hooked up and fell for a woman on a trip. She's moving to a nearby city in December (she lives very far away now). I've been thinking of moving there for unrelated reasons. I recognize, in the abstract, that I don't know her well enough to know if we're particularly compatible. How do I not drive myself nuts ruminating about her, as I am now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2013 - 11 answers

ISO ripped bodices and heaving bossoms.

What was this trashy romance novel about blonde twin sisters I read ~20 years ago? More of what I remember inside. [more inside]
posted by peacrow on Jul 2, 2013 - 8 answers

Romances like Georgette Heyer

I love Georgette Heyer's regency romances, but as I'm not regular romance reader, the signal to noise ratio when trying to find something similar is very low. My searches have yielded mixed results, can you help? [more inside]
posted by smoke on Jun 28, 2013 - 24 answers

There's a farm, and a widow...

Movie about a widow on a farm/ranch in Australia. It's historical, but I can't remember the period. She has red hair, and is shamed by her church for not having remarried. She's menaced by bad guys on horses, who tie up a young man (a cousin? brother?) to a fence and prepare to horsewhip him, but a mysterious man swoops in at the last minute to save them. It sounds like every romance novel ever, but I only caught a few minutes of it and was intrigued enough to try to find it again. Ideas?
posted by cereselle on Jun 15, 2013 - 9 answers

What do I do about my awkward book collection?

I'm dating a nurse. I also have a collection of 400 nurse-themed romance paperbacks. When we started dating, I hid them under the bed. Can they ever come out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2013 - 29 answers

Gay erotica/romances written by actual gay men? (NSFW)

Most of the slash fanfic I read is probably written by 14-year-old girls. Please direct me to the real stuff written by real gay men, so that I may develop snobbish taste in yet another one of my pastimes. [more inside]
posted by Jacqueline on May 28, 2013 - 21 answers

How old were you when you first genuinely fell in love with someone...

How old were you when you first genuinely fell in love with someone that resulted in a relatively lasting, satisfying relationship? [more inside]
posted by WhitenoisE on May 19, 2013 - 28 answers

Losing relationship chances due to others' interference - help?

I was recently in the situation where I met a possible new love interest but, due to interference by a mutual social group, the relationship never had a chance to begin. How common is this and how can I protect myself? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2013 - 26 answers

The Booker Prize of Bantam Books

Given that I've found some great novels that I could've overlooked due to being regarded as 'genre fiction', I've often been curious: are there amazing hidden gems hiding in the least literary of places? Are there stellar novels that are ignored as they're published as Harlequin, Mills and Boon, teen book-packagers or under 'inspirational fiction' imprints? [more inside]
posted by mippy on Apr 25, 2013 - 11 answers

Wedding night prep, what do I need to get ready?

1. I want to deck out the hotel room. We're staying at a Denver Marriott for the wedding night before flying out. I want roses, candles etc... all nice and romantic. Will the marriott put out candles, rose petals, roses and chocolate strawberries for me? I'll be coming from faraway in the mountains, so if they could do it for me that would be awesome. 2. We're doing gift exchange between eachother. Any ideas what I should get my bride?
posted by snow_mac on Apr 17, 2013 - 24 answers

What advice would you give me if there might still be a chance?

I’ve had a small crush on a co worker that later turned into a pretty big one. It’s gotten to the point where I couldn’t get her off my mind and it was hard focusing on school work. I’m 25 and haven’t had much dating experience. In my younger years, middle school throughout high school, I had self esteem issues with being overweight and then with acne. I’ve come here seeking advice from a wide verity of experiences of both genders. I found a similar case to mine on here and found the answers very useful so I hope to get great advice from this community. I apologize in advance for a long winded background story but I wanted to make sure I get enough information out to aid you guys. [more inside]
posted by uberkrn on Apr 15, 2013 - 21 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

Gothic fiction required

I'm sick in bed with a dose of the flu and I need stuff to read on my kindle. I'm in the mood for intelligent romantic fiction with a dose of thriller - bonus if it has supernatural or gothic elements. [more inside]
posted by ninazer0 on Mar 18, 2013 - 18 answers

Cheap Dates

What are some free and/or cheap date ideas? We like being social, being alone, art, music, outdoors, sexy stuff, weird stuff, books, etc. We're fairly adventurous, but also happy being mellow and watching a movie. We're queer and in the SF Bay Area if you have specific suggestions for us and for around here, but more general ideas welcome. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2013 - 13 answers

What should I say?

I met and had a great conversation with a beautiful woman on public transit but I blanked when the time came to get her contact info. I'm about to facebook message her... How should I put this? Full explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by matt_od on Mar 9, 2013 - 36 answers

Is 30 too old to date online?

I'm 30 years old. I really want a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage. I've been on eHarmony for the past few months and am starting to get frustrated at the general lack of response from men my age. On those sites, I get a lot of people who check out my profile but don't respond. I initiated contact with more than 20 guys I found interesting, but only got a response back from one. And he suddenly stopped communicating halfway through our "guided communication" phase. Sure, he could have found someone else, or decided online dating wasn't for him, I totally understand. It's just disheartening when the only guy who responds closes me as a match. I tweak my profile on a regular basis and update my photos but nothing I do seems to bring more response from men. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Mar 8, 2013 - 48 answers

*Arabic speakers*: Brokenhearted girl needs your translation ability

Here is the photo with the Arabic message: LINK What does this say in English? I think the girl might represent me. She looks brokenhearted, too. Thank you so much for your help!
posted by thatgirl1985 on Mar 8, 2013 - 3 answers

Post-Valentine's Day Reading

Just too late for Valentine's Day, recommend me some awesome fantasy novels with satisfying romances. [more inside]
posted by WidgetAlley on Feb 15, 2013 - 18 answers

Recommendations for romantic movies

I need some suggestions for romantic movies released in the last 5-6 years. Something evocative of Love Actually or Bridget Jones' Diary would be ideal, although a British setting isn't necessary. Ensemble casts are appreciated. Romantic comedies in general are fine, but explicitly not looking for anything Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler, Steve Carell, or Seth Rogen have any involvement with. Any ideas?
posted by empyrean on Feb 13, 2013 - 30 answers

Is there any hope for me?

I thought Outlander and Kushiel's Dart were stupid. Is there any romance novel I might enjoy? [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Feb 8, 2013 - 30 answers

Can you help me, I'm loved up over someone Down Under?

How to bring a Melbourne woman a little romance from half a world away? [more inside]
posted by Callicvol on Feb 6, 2013 - 10 answers

What do women think men and women want in relationships?

"Men want sex" and "women want romance" -- so the stereotypes go. To what extent does the average woman believe (or not believe) in these stereotypes? Does anyone know if there is research on this? I've been searching for hours, but haven't turned up anything yet.
posted by tybeet on Jan 31, 2013 - 11 answers

Rom coms where the love interest is introduced later?

The standard format for a romantic comedy has both key characters introduced very early in the script/movie -- say, in the first ten pages/minutes. I'm looking for examples of romantic comedies where one of the romantic leads is introduced later in the movie. [more inside]
posted by allnamesaretaken on Jan 22, 2013 - 38 answers

Won't you wear my ring around your neck? & other adorable "vintage" expressions of love.

What are some obscure traditions or gestures that people used to express their love for one another in the 1920s-1950ish that are no longer really practiced? [more inside]
posted by twoforty5am on Jan 4, 2013 - 38 answers

The Curious Incident of the Disappearing Man

A man with whom I was once-upon-a-time very much in love pops back into my life about once a year, then vanishes again. Do I stop him? Do I just roll with it? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by like_a_friend on Dec 31, 2012 - 37 answers

What are the greatest (yet most original) love affairs of all time?

What are the greatest (yet most original) love affairs of all time? [more inside]
posted by skylar on Dec 22, 2012 - 76 answers

Shy and Unlucky in Love

Help me figure out why I'm so unlucky with romance [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2012 - 26 answers

Help me find a romance novel for my Granny

Recommendations for novels similar to Nicholas Sparks style, please? [more inside]
posted by chiababe on Dec 10, 2012 - 10 answers

Help me make a Christmas Picnic

We're moving the week before Christmas. Soooo let's have a Christmas Eve picnic! Suggestions for food and decor? [more inside]
posted by spunweb on Dec 9, 2012 - 12 answers

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