Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with ritual

You say Goodbye, I say Hello

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:34:30 -0800

The aughts were the worst decade (I hope) of my life. How can I say "fuck you" to them and welcome the next 10 years? The short explanation is actually pretty much it. Between 2000 and 2009, my marriage ended, I filed for bankruptcy, I lost my house, I suffered from an almost continuous case of depression, I tried to kill myself, I ended up on a psych ward -- that's a good summary. The last time I remember feeling truly happy was in the year 2000 and the best thing I can thing I can say about 2009 (and this is really, really big) is that nothing bad happened and I had a lot of a good days. I'm not sure I made it above .500 but I sense an upward trend. I'd like to perform a ritual - not on New Year's Eve because I'm going to a party, which is what normal people do on New Year's Even and I'd like to start the decade doing what normal people do - but sometime between now and then that really expresses to this fucking decade my anger that it happened at all and also honors 2009 for maybe being a turning point and definitely welcomes the good times that are sure to come in the 2010s, I really, really, hope.

Dead chicken + money + cigar = ?

serazin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:55:15 -0800

What cultural or spiritual practice involves an alter or offering incorporating a dead chicken and money? Twice in the last few years, I've come across similar assemblies of objects that have intrigued me. The first was in a fairly undeveloped woodsy park in Oakland, California. It included a behead chicken - feathers still on, a half-smoked cigar, a few one dollar bills, and some coins. That was several years ago.

Then recently I was walking near my East Oakland home and found on the edge of the sidewalk, in front of a vacant lot, a box containing a dead chicken and a a handful of loose change. The chicken was somehow eviscerated, with intestine spilling loosely into the box.

I'm curious to know what religion, tradition, or culture uses this kind of alter or offering or whatnot. I'd love to hear any details you might know about it! Thanks.

Busytown After Dark

maryh — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:47:27 -0800

Does anyone have any information about this adorable, satanic image? I'm asking for my husband- he found it on the Live Journal feed and now he's obsessed with it. And who can blame him, it's the cutest Satanic ritual I've ever seen.

Can I Bless my Kid with the Magic of Southern Soil?

Any Moose In a Storm — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:17:34 -0800

Okay, as a displaced Southerner it disturbs me that my upcoming child is going to be born among a bunch of Damn Yankees. I kind of want to do a ritual with my kid and some red clay taken from Down South to sort of make this all right with myself. What's the best way to make the clay sterile? And . . . I don't know exactly what form I want the ritual to take?

Sure this is ridiculous to some of you, but as a Southerner who still loves his homeland I was raised to venerate RE Lee, the Boys in Gray, the Lost Cause, and the tainted Flag under which they fought and died.

I know, I know. It's not politically correct ;it's anachronistic; the South is full of bibliolatry and socially regressive tendencies etc., I agree with all of that but in my heart none of that matters. The idea of my kid saying, "I'm a Yankee" when I've always identified so strongly as a Southerner is kind of horrifying and disheartening. I'd like to be able to say, "Well, when you were an infant I wanted you to be able to claim some Southerness so I . . . . "

How do you have a wedding when you're already married?

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:31:19 -0800

Please help me make our upcoming 8-months-overdue wedding reception memorable and meaningful to those who weren't at our actual wedding. We had been planning an October 2008 wedding but I got pregnant (Oops and Yay!) and so we got officially married back in February 2008 at City Hall with just our parents present. Extended family and friends knew this was going on and we told them all we were still going ahead with a wedding-ish event for this October. Basically what we're planning now is a wedding reception. However, since so many of our dear friends and family weren't at our actual wedding but are traveling great distances to attend our "reception", we'd like to include some sort of ceremony that not only allows our guests to feel included but also be witness to our union in marriage.

We feel strongly that we already *are* married and don't want a recreation of our actual wedding or feel the need to get married again. We'd be up for some sort of re-telling of our vows but are there other things we can do?

Similarly, we won't be re-exchanging rings since it feels like that's already done and doing it over again somehow makes the original time less significant. Are there other rituals or readings or anything else we can do for our guests? There will be a maid of honor and best man who will hopefully act as officiants even though there's really nothing to officiate over.

I should stress that we're doing this not just so that our guests feel like they got their money's worth but also because my husband and I really do want to have our family and friends be part of experience. So how do you have a wedding without getting married?

I'm going to be fasting for Ramadan for the first time. Where do I start?

parkbench — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 07:12:08 -0800

I'm going to be fasting for Ramadan for the first time. Where do I start? I am not a Muslim, but I do not want to get into that in this question. Please humor me and do not tell me how much or how little I am missing the point of Ramadan, I would just like ceremonial instruction.

I have already been reading the Qur'an and different histories of Islam for a little while now--so I've got the 'edification' part down. I'm just wondering ritualistically what I'm supposed to do.

I know I will have to wake up before dawn to eat a light meal (what does this entail exactly?), and then fast until sunset/dusk (depending on Sunni/Shia...I think I'm going to stick with the former because it's more mainstream). Then I think there's some kind of small meal after each day's fast including dates and water.

Outside of that I have no idea. Is this the main thrust of it, besides any special days in the month? Are there any special days in the month that I should be aware of?

Because I will not be praying in any way I guess I'm cutting out a large portion of what I might occupy my time with. Of course I will try to be a Good Person (tm). But still--I am looking for little things I might have missed. I like the little detail of dates and water after a day's fast--are there other little ineffable experiences of Ramadan that I can approximate, however sloppily, on my own? That is to say, is there some thing that kids always do, or a place where people tend to congregate, or a particular item that tends to go on sale during Ramadan that I should keep my eye out for?

Essentially: I will be at school in Massachusetts and I will stick to it as vigorously as I can, though if I have a cigarette in the morning I do not think I will feel that I have transgressed. I am primarily doing this to put my feet in someone else's shoes.

(bonus question: fictional and non-fictional first-person accounts of Ramadan would be welcome)

Workplace or professional rituals

flutable — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:27:08 -0800

What rituals do you have in your profession or job? A friend's son - who works in the construction industry - told me about "topping-out parties" once a building's top floor and roof structure have been completed. Now I'm curious about what other professions do. Not so interested in religious rituals though. As an example, I recall a BBC documentary on shipbuilding, and a ritual that takes place in the bowels of the ship once the lower hull has been completed. And of course there is the ship-naming ritual with the bottle of champagne.

I'm interested not only in graduation rituals (such as graduates from a military academy throwing their hats up into the air) but also things either celebrating something - like the topping-out party, with the company lifting entire trees (!) in pots, via crane, up onto the roof for the party - or rituals performed as part of a job, such as a massage or alternative therapies practitioner "centring" him/herself prior to working with a client.

So, what rituals are there at YOUR workplace?

Who can tell me some specific things about Wicca?

TrueVox — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:02:37 -0800

Looking to learn more about Wicca in general, and about a particular ritual specifically. OK, a girl who I've been seeing for the last month (exactly as of today, actually) is Wiccan. Fine, not a problem. However, since it's important to her, I want to learn more about it, and I'm kind of at a loss of where to begin (there's A LOT of information out there). Also, specifically, she's made mention of a purification ritual that's based on the Blood Moon (somehow) that I want to know more about, as she claims she's giving up drinking and sex for the duration (which is fine, but an odd thing if you know her), and I am curious if she's just pulling my leg, or if there really is such a thing.

I'm new to Wicca, and she's not much more experienced then I, but refuses to tell me too much about it unless I want to become one (I'm not ready to give up my current beliefs yet). I think even the mention of the Blood Moon was a slip of the tongue. At any rate, any advice on either of the two parts to this question would make me mighty thankful. I really care for her (which is strange after so short of a time but what ever), and want her to know that what's important to her is to me too.

P.S.: I'll try to be on and off all day if you need any further clarifications!

Ritual or abuse?

Evangeline — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 08:23:39 -0800

Help me figure out what happened to this little girl. Last night on the train home (I'm in NYC), a girl of about thirteen was holding onto the post in front of me. She was very bubbly and cute and girly. She was with another girl of about the same age - kind of a tougher looking girl, but still just as bubbly.

I noticed the first girl had three horizontal scars on her right cheek. They were each about an inch in length, and it looked like they were made with a razor. Then she turned her head, and I saw that she had another set of scars in the same size and configuration on the other cheek.

My question is, is this a particular kind of ritual scarification? I've done some googling, but I can't come up with anything this specific. I wouldn't describe either of these girls as "gang material". Of course, the other possibilities are that she cut herself or that someone cut her against her will. Any way you look at it, it's pretty horrifying.

eggs are yucky, what isn't?

mustcatchmooseandsquirrel — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:09:11 -0800

What is a good breakfast? My boyfriend and I had a "fried egg on a piece of whole-grain bread" breakfast for the last year or so. It was quick to make, filling, not sugary, and seemed to have a good nutritional profile for the start of the day. Also, the ritual of frying the egg and making the toast was fun.

I've never really liked the idea of eggs all that much, but just somehow got over my dislike for a year. Now eggs have started grossing me out again.

What is another good breakfast for two that is not too heavy, not too sugary, good nutritionally, and relatively quick in the morning? (and has some degree of ritual beyond popping open the top of a yogurt container)

DIY disposable goblet advice.

Squid Voltaire — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 09:03:13 -0800

Looking for ideas about how to make a sanitary, waterproof goblet for around ten bucks and an hour or so worth of labor. I'm playing around with ideas for a thank-you ritual, and it seems that it would be really useful to be able to make my own (one-use) drinking cup for it. Does anyone have ideas about an easy way to do so? I'm not incompetent at making things, but I don't have any special equipment. I'd be disposing of the cup afterwards, so I don't want to spends weeks and weeks on this project. However, I do want something nicer than a plastic cup, you know?

I'm looking for suggestions about some kind of food-safe clay that I could fire in my stove, a cheap kind of wood that I could easily carve, a DIY wax-molding instructional video, or a link to a website called "How to make Ceremonial Goblets for Dummies".

Any ideas?

Calling on the four directions?

healthyliving — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 23:10:47 -0800

Anybody got a good source for calling on the four and/or seven directions? It's for a wedding ceremony, and every internet source I've found gives different explanations of what the directions represent. Wedding is this Saturday, I'm officiating. Help! I've bookmarked a ton of different sites. They all seem to have somewhat different info, first the south is fire, then it's water, then it's earth. I'm not trying to follow a particular philosophy, I'd just like a clear answer to help me create a sacred space for the wedding. Is there a good book, site, something that's clear, wouldn't alienate the conservative bunch (as in, not overly wiccan)? Thanks.

Readings for a naming ceremony

ericbop — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 06:42:24 -0800

We're naming our new daughter this weekend, in front of family, friends, and coworkers. Any suggestions of lyrics/poetry/prose that would be appropriately inspirational and awesome? Something with the message: "Welcome to the world, now go kick some ass!" (in a compassionate, empowering sense, not an Ultimate Fighter sense, unless that's what she wants to be when she grows up...) The naming is on the obscure Jewish holiday of Lag B'omer, so bonus points for any of the following symbolic resonances:

-bonfires
-bows and arrows (or other bows, such as rainbows, or arching/bending in general)
-haircuts

How do women know how to be women in America?

bilabial — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 20:47:47 -0800

Is there academic research that claims that viewing of advertising material a ritual of genderization? I'm writing a paper for anthropology class and am stating that it is. I've got enough material to support my saying it is, but I haven't come across anyone else saying it is. A large chunk of my writing focuses on content analysis of 7 ads I found in current American magazines that disembody and infantilize women. So what I'm arguing is that this print medium tells women what they can and can't be.

What gives? Has anyone else seen anything along these lines, or might I actually be breaking some ground here?

My university has access to online journal archives, so if you just tell me who and when, or perhaps an article title, I can find the works, if they're around, because maybe I could study this more thoroughly.

How can I make this beautiful for my dad?

vytae — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:45:12 -0800

What should be done/said when the family gathers to witness someone's passing? I need planning to distract me. On Wednesday night my dad's heart failed. Based on the amount of time he spent without oxygen going to his brain before the heart could be restarted, and the poor results of neurological testing thus far, the doctors have told us that it's extremely unlikely he will ever wake up. If the next day or two doesn't show any change, my family will be following his wishes to discontinue life support.
The only thing holding me slightly together right now is my attempt to focus on logistical issues, so I have a question for you all. What should we do when the family is all gathered in the hospital room once the support is removed? Do you know of something I could read aloud? Some kind of ritual or something we could do? Dad is liberal Catholic with a Buddhist bent, most of the family is Catholic, some are agnostic, and I'm an atheist. I don't know how to handle this. I want it to be something Dad would love, and something the other family members will appreciate too. Please help. Thank you all.

Babies and beards and changing appearances

Caviar — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:50:27 -0800

Possibly stupid question about having a beard and a baby at the same time, and then not having a beard. Obviously, simply having a beard around a baby isn't a problem, but I was once told that growing a beard and shaving it shortly thereafter would confuse a baby, who would expect you to look the same from day to day. This doesn't sound right to me.

For reasons I won't go into here, Beards for New Year's every year.

Is there any reason not to do this if I have a baby?

A book on native pain rituals?

psyward — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:40:37 -0800

I'm looking for a book on ancient rituals of piercing and tattooing. Particularly among tribe members for purposes of adornment. My wife and I have had a look on amazon, and there dosent seem to be anything.

Can anyone out there reccomend a book on this topic?

Thanks in advance.

Why do people make a lucky cigarette in their packs of cigarettes?

nibaq — Wed, 31 May 2006 03:11:44 -0800

How did the ritual of inverting a single cigarette in a fresh pack of cigarettes start? Was there some cultural reason, or a simple good luck charm?

Flowers for baby boys?

symbebekos — Mon, 24 Jan 2005 15:43:16 -0800

Is there a traditional kind of flower or color of rose given for the birth of a baby boy? A friend of mine just delivered, and I want to skip the blue teddy bears and get this right.