My sister (late 30s) has recently given birth to a baby who is probably affected by Down syndrome. There will most likely not be a father in the picture. She also has an 8 y.o. daughter from a different, also absent father. They live at my mother’s house in a small town. My sister has a story of emotional instability and I often fear for my niece and nephew. My sister was molested by my father when she was in her late teens. She is extremely dependent on (and at the same time hostile to) my mother. My mother (divorced), in turn, is struggling to help her and the little children, while having to deal with lack of money and her own (physical) health issues.
I (male) am the middle child, 8 years younger than my sister. I´ve lived in a big city for the last 6 years. I´m economically independent (yet also struggling) and starting a career in academia. I feel that if I don´t go back to my home town and help my family, things will deteriorate further. On the other hand, my chances of professional growth would be reduced by moving back there. Do you think a sacrifice of this sort is the right thing to do?
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posted by Basque13
on Mar 19, 2013 -
31 answers
Will the entrepreneurial work I've been dedicating the bulk of my time and energy to make me look hirable if I ever decide to get a "real job"? Or will it look like a potential liability and put me at a disadvantage? What will I be qualified for?
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posted by bubukaba
on Mar 4, 2013 -
6 answers
My dad is horrible with money. He has lots of debt and for some reason, banks continue to give him loans. He never makes payments and he's always in the red. I've tried my best to keep him from getting credit cards and taking out loans but he's an adult and if the banks keep doing it, there's nothing I can do to stop them. My mother says that I'm going to be responsible for his debt but I have never co-signed anything with him or gone to the banks with him. Is it possible for me to still be responsible? Are there any steps I can take to make sure I won't be responsible?
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posted by cyml
on Feb 6, 2013 -
27 answers
For our son's 2nd birthday party, my wife ordered cupcakes from a bakery online for delivery to our son's daycare but they didn't show up. My wife was crushed and was understandably angry at the bakery, especially since she said she had paid for the cupcakes. But when I tried the online ordering form, there was no place to input any payment information. However, after submitting the form the company says it would get in contact for confirmation and payment information. It looks like the company didn't follow up with my wife, but also that my wife didn't follow up with the company. Is someone clearly at fault? How should I handle both my wife and the company?
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posted by photovox
on Jan 8, 2013 -
91 answers
I've been a cat person all my life. I don't like dogs in general--most strike me as bothersome. I've come across the occasional dog I like, but I've never had to care for one longer than four days, at its own house. Now I'm in the unexpected position of considering getting a dog.
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posted by Yoshimi Battles
on Sep 25, 2012 -
55 answers
Help us fine the right dog for our son and family, who has a few specific requests and a few special needs.
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posted by rumposinc
on Sep 23, 2012 -
39 answers
Help me be a grown-up. I am turning 25 soon, and I'm beginning to realize that I don't really enjoy living like an irresponsible kid anymore!
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posted by showbiz_liz
on Aug 29, 2012 -
37 answers
Cohabiting couples, how do you handle the housework? Is there a clear distinction between your mess and their mess?
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posted by emelenjr
on May 4, 2012 -
52 answers
Looking to buy/acquire a puppy in (North) London. I am worried about vaccinations etc. and have some questions about ethics of the whole thing. Can I get a puppy from a shelter? Or should I feel happy about paying for one from a 'good' home through a website?
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posted by bollockovnikov
on Jan 9, 2012 -
22 answers
How do you deal with suicide when you feel (or are made to feel) partially responsible?
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posted by divabat
on Oct 9, 2011 -
27 answers
I am a talented, social, religious, active, healthy, and disciplined adult. However, one of my great strengths is that I am quite adaptable - I "roll with the punches" very well, you could say. The problem with this is that I sometimes take a more irresponsible path (procrastination, running late, omitting important tasks) because I've learned through experience that the energy expended in adapting to consequences is often less than the energy expended in being completely responsible from the beginning.
I want to become more responsible, because I feel like my irresponsibility is keeping me from reaching an even higher level of productivity and happiness. How can I reach level 70 arch-mage zen responsibility?
posted by rinogo
on Oct 5, 2011 -
7 answers
I'm trying to find an article from the past year or two that discussed a general difference in how men and women spend their free time. The article posited that women are more likely to pick up activities that require work/responsibility (volunteering, etc), and men are more likely to pursue activities that are more fun-based (sports, etc).
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posted by ThePinkSuperhero
on Jun 21, 2011 -
2 answers
Please help me remember the title of a young adult novel I read in the late 1980s, involving a young American man who drives a Fiat, goes to college, joins a fraternity, and ends up getting expelled and working in a fast food restaurant.
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posted by jgfoot
on May 9, 2011 -
2 answers
What are little things I can do each day to lower the amount in which I care what people think of me?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 25, 2011 -
25 answers
I am becoming more "powerful" at work even though my job title is remaining the same, and I'd like some ideas on how to handle the change gracefully and maintain good relationships with my colleagues.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 17, 2011 -
15 answers
How do I find contacts that work in corporate social responsibility at CISCO or other companies?
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posted by msk1985
on Apr 7, 2011 -
3 answers
NYC Landlord filter - in my apartment building, each of the apartments has their own gas hookup, but the landlord has not turned on the heat for the communal areas (hallways, etc.) Is this against the law?
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posted by to sir with millipedes
on Mar 2, 2011 -
7 answers
Is there a clear outline anywhere of the legal obligations of marriage? I haven't been able to find anything online. This can be either for New York state or the US in general. I would like to know what I am legally agreeing to before getting wrapped up in the romantic decision. I am not looking for the legal benefits of marriage, or for divorce law: I want to know what legal contract I'd be signing before I start the whole process. I'd prefer resources as opposed to anecdotal advice. Thank you.
posted by Cranialtorque
on Nov 14, 2010 -
18 answers
My ex, 30+ years of age, contacted me a few days ago to tell me I'd gotten her knocked up. Yesterday she said she wanted to keep it. She lives in NYC, where I lived until three days ago. I'm now in the UK. I can afford to jump on a plane back to NYC. So, who do I need to contact to get legal advice? How do I find out what my rights and responsibilities are? Two less delicate questions inside...
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posted by omnigut
on Sep 23, 2010 -
86 answers
How do I (or we) speak to my manager about his increasing lack of involvement in what we feel are the core components of a product's (re)launch, especially when the stakes in the launch include: our careers, the fate of the company, and the jobs of fellow colleagues in the office?
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posted by mistertoronto
on Aug 11, 2010 -
5 answers
License suspensions, driver responsibility and address changes. Any chance?
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posted by Raze2k
on Apr 21, 2010 -
6 answers
As a Texas landlord, was it my responsibility to make sure my tenants knew about turning on the gas?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 3, 2010 -
16 answers
I'm conscientious. Some people I work with are not. Help me understand them and keep my cool.
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posted by PatoPata
on Jan 25, 2010 -
53 answers
Please help me nip another parental failing in the bud. I want help my children be more responsible.
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posted by Fairchild
on Sep 21, 2009 -
34 answers
I want to read fictional and/or true stories about people being put into positions of responsibility unexpectedly for extended periods of time and how they deal with it.
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posted by reenum
on Jan 27, 2009 -
37 answers
What is covered by 'legal responsibility' in relation to a home insurance policy (in the UK)?
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posted by daveg
on Jan 26, 2009 -
2 answers
How do you start over, with a new love or without one? Heartfelt, soul-searching soap opera of my life and love inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 9, 2009 -
31 answers
Parent Filter: What can I do about this parent/child role reversal that is poisoning my mind and my life and how can I let this parent know that even though I love them dearly I will not continue to let them manipulate me and dump all of their responsibilities on to my plate???
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 5, 2009 -
21 answers
My girlfriend and I are (probably) soon to be the owners of a 1 year old German Shepard. We know (and love) the dog and the dog knows (and, we're sure) loves us. But we've never been responsible for anything more than a plant before and that plant died. What are some tips other German Shepard owners can impart, in terms of what we can expect and how best to take care of him?
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posted by Effigy2000
on Jan 3, 2008 -
22 answers
How can I, a US citizen, be more informed about my lawmakers' decisions and whether they're doing a good job? I have an example that I wonder about intensely, today's Senate Intelligence Committee meeting.
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posted by cmiller
on Oct 18, 2007 -
4 answers
Heeliefilter: If my 7-year-old neighbor dashes his brains out on my brick driveway, will I be held responsible in any way?
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posted by M.C. Lo-Carb!
on Apr 2, 2007 -
21 answers
Because we are looking to buy our first home in the next few months, my husband and I want someone with more knowledge to help us figure out our financial situation - where we're at and where we should aim to be. I am not sure if what we're looking for is a financial planner, or if this is even really necessary to do before we go home shopping. My worry is that most financial planners (if that's even what we'd want) seem to be focused solely on retirement planning & investing. I'm not sure if that's what we need.
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posted by tastybrains
on Jan 12, 2007 -
7 answers
I am a hopelessly moderate, hyper-responsible, mostly mellow person. How can I help my niece, who is very bright, but hyper-emotional and kind of an over-the-top drama queen, create stability for herself and/or make more responsible choices?
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posted by whatnot
on Oct 6, 2006 -
18 answers
