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Can I please get a copy of that "This Is How People Act" memo?

Currently, I'm in grad school in DC. I feel like I'm putting my foot in it at every turn, especially toward people in positions of authority, like professors and bosses. At this point, I think there are probably lots of things I'm doing wrong that I don't even know about! Please tell me what the unwritten rules are for being a nice, friendly, pleasant person in this milieu, because I can't figure them out. [more inside]
posted by rue72 on Apr 6, 2014 - 32 answers

 

Help a science-minded creature navigate unscientific thinking by friends

I'm a performer/dancer/creative type in a newish city (1 year). I also have a background in science. Much of my social circle contains people who are more into woo/new-agey things than I am. I find myself *enraged* by this sometimes. Each little comment (a reference to table salt being "poison" while sea salt isn't, household use of homeopathic things like arnica, e.g.) ruffles me. I can feel myself growing distant from two important people in my life - my roommate and lover. I admire and respect them greatly for their emotional intelligence, perceptiveness, and expression. We giggle and dance and clown around and we connect completely. They bring up chakras and I want to throw myself on a sharp object. Sometimes I let their comments go by, but I feel irritated inside. Other times I challenge them and I think I come off as arrogant and judgmental; close-minded. I AM judging. We all make decisions based on info from friends and websites and the like - but I really really care about information sources that are legit - from professionals, peer-reviewed research, etc. They don't. [more inside]
posted by red_rabbit on Feb 20, 2014 - 46 answers

Finally moving on - BUT how do I prioritize what's next..

So finally, I decided to take the bold step and move on to a bigger and brighter future (Hopefully, anyway!). I decided to divorce, on the grounds that I deserve better. [more inside]
posted by Spice_and_Ice on Aug 4, 2013 - 12 answers

How should I address my soon to be in-laws?

I have no idea how to address my in-laws. Please help. [more inside]
posted by reenum on Apr 25, 2013 - 25 answers

Can you stage Peter Pan in a way that is respectful to Native Americans?

Is there a way to stage Peter Pan that is respectful to Native Americans? [more inside]
posted by straight on Mar 11, 2013 - 26 answers

How do I make people respect my wishes regarding my apartment?

I recently got a new dog, a new apartment and new friends. I've asked new friends to a) not wear shoes on the carpet and b) not feed the dog table scraps. Nobody is listening. Help! [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Feb 21, 2013 - 56 answers

Getting others to respect your boundaries/respect you?

Getting others to respect your boundaries/treat you with respect? [more inside]
posted by Prairie on Dec 26, 2012 - 24 answers

what are movies about independent women in a relationship?

help me find movies depicting women in a healthy relationship, where her space, interest or financial independence are respected. [more inside]
posted by valdesm on Nov 14, 2012 - 27 answers

Southern U.S. use of "Miss [FirstName]" -- racial or class connotations?

Southern Naming Conventions: Is there a race or class component to the Southern U.S. use of "Miss [FirstName]" (when used by adults to refer to other adults)? Which groups use this, when, and what does it connote when employed between/among races or social classes? [more inside]
posted by jjjjjjjijjjjjjj on Sep 11, 2012 - 50 answers

please let me push that chair in...

How can I curb the (rather desperate) urge to tidy up? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Apr 25, 2012 - 19 answers

respect after getting dumped?

Does the person who did the breaking up typically look down on the person broken up with? How can I stop worrying about this issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2012 - 23 answers

Is he worth dating or do I just keep on stepping?

Is this guy yankin' my chain so-to-speak? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Apr 1, 2012 - 44 answers

What is respect?

Respect describes a particular attitude toward another person, and not a feeling as such. It's still often used as a modifier for an emotion, though, since attitudes can modify anything a person does. This makes it even harder to observe than emotions are. So, what is respect? What does it mean to respect someone, if I'm trying to ignore how I feel about them? [more inside]
posted by LogicalDash on Dec 19, 2011 - 17 answers

How do I stop judging them?

When my friends allow men to treat them poorly, I begin to lose respect for them. On an intellectual level, I know that it’s heartless and unkind of me to look down on my friends who are struggling, it’s victim-blaming, and I HATE that I feel this way. How can I stop it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2011 - 39 answers

Setting boundaries with people (men, in particular!)

How do I set boundaries with people while staying true to my accepting, easy going nature? [more inside]
posted by sunnychef88 on Sep 3, 2011 - 9 answers

Okay, no upskirt shots, got it. What else?

What are the photography laws in South Korea? [more inside]
posted by Knigel on Jul 20, 2011 - 4 answers

Aretha spelled it out... why can't I?

How can I stop being a pushover? [more inside]
posted by InterestedInKnowing on Jun 15, 2011 - 23 answers

What are the appropriate emotions for an ex during and after divorce?

My boyfriend recently finalized his amicable divorce, but I am more wary than ever. What are the emotions one goes through after divorce and what sacrifices are required on my part? It's a little long - thanks in advance for reading. [more inside]
posted by gardenbex on Apr 8, 2011 - 23 answers

Help me understand my emotional responses.

How do I chill out about other people respecting me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2011 - 19 answers

Your work is unacceptable...but anyway, what are you doing this weekend?

How do you elicit respect -- while still being liked -- in a supervisory position? [more inside]
posted by Christ, what an asshole on Nov 19, 2010 - 28 answers

Is this normal in a marriage?

Is this just a bad phase in the marriage, or a sign of more to come? Many details inside, but basically, no sex, no intimacy, a lot of distance, and counseling isn't an option - and I don't really know where to go from here, or if I just have unrealistic expectations. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2010 - 49 answers

How can I project confidence when I look so young?

I look young. What are some techniques to ensure that I am taken seriously in professional situations? [more inside]
posted by franc.o.bolos on Jun 27, 2010 - 32 answers

How do you draw the line about which racists to call out versus which ones to let slide?

When people my age say something against gays or against blacks I try to call them out. When my 81 grandpa says something I just let it slide figuring he was raised that way. What rules do you personally use to reconcile this kind of conflict? [more inside]
posted by golakers on Apr 14, 2010 - 18 answers

Respecfully agree to disagree

Can one truly respect an opinion that s/he disagrees with on a profound level? [more inside]
posted by war wrath of wraith on Mar 15, 2010 - 53 answers

I'm not going to CC you on this

What's the best way to respond gracefully to perceived micromanagement at work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2010 - 21 answers

Respect, Effective Anger, and Being Taken Seriously

When I was growing up, people (including other adults) took adults a lot more seriously than people take me now. I'm an adult now, and turned 30 recently, but people don't take me seriously. How can I make this happen? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2010 - 75 answers

Get friends to go home?

How do you get your friends to respect your house...after they have a precedent that it's just a 'hangout place'? [more inside]
posted by Taft on Dec 22, 2009 - 22 answers

Uncertainy is a long time friend.

Conquering confidence issues at the age of 25. [more inside]
posted by lwclec072 on Nov 4, 2009 - 15 answers

Veni Vidi Vicious

How do I become an effective leader? [more inside]
posted by Christ, what an asshole on Oct 20, 2009 - 16 answers

R-E-S-P-E-C-T - it means wierd things to me...

I think I'm ready to transition from being a person who primarily wants to be liked to a person who primarily wants to be respected. [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Sep 17, 2009 - 13 answers

How to communicate with a loved one

Is there any reason why some people don't like to be "put on the spot" to answer questions? [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind on May 23, 2009 - 60 answers

Getting credit for your ideas / combating someone who steals/takes credit for them

Do you know any effective strategies for getting credit for your ideas and work? One of my coworkers (a gentleman my senior by 20+ years who was recently quietly demoted below me because his lack of vision and tech skills) is regularly taking credit for my ideas at work and outside of work among industry leaders. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2008 - 13 answers

Is self-deprecating humor a sign of weakness?

Is self-deprecating humor a sign of weakness? [more inside]
posted by sherlockt on Aug 17, 2008 - 33 answers

How do I get people to not antagonize my phobia?

How do I get people to respect my phobia? How do I make them stop antagonizing me by showing me the thing I'm afraid of? [more inside]
posted by IndigoRain on Jun 28, 2008 - 53 answers

"We have started a culture!"

Does your workplace have a clearly-stated 'organizational culture' or defined theme or an All-Encompassing Guiding Principle for employees? I've been told to create one for our company. From scratch. HELP! [more inside]
posted by GuffProof on May 17, 2008 - 19 answers

Do people react differently to information from those who are attractive vs. those who have expertise?

Prettygirlfilter: Is my roommate treating me differently than he treats my boyfriend because of looks? If so, how common is this? Women, does this happen to you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2008 - 18 answers

Lonely at the table

How do I get my husband to the dinner table? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2008 - 47 answers

Hold the prayer and pass the potatoes

How do I respectfully yet firmly request that a member of my extended family not say a prayer before a meal in my home? [more inside]
posted by photoslob on Dec 24, 2007 - 88 answers

Power play

I got offered a better job, I quit. Now my boss is being a bitch. [more inside]
posted by octomato on Oct 15, 2007 - 38 answers

Finding my way with others

Some people seem to have a 'way' about them of gaining the willing cooperation of those around them. I seem to have none of that 'way' at all and I'd like to see if I could gain a little of it. All too often I feel overrun by others and cannot seem to get a balanced amount of cooperation and respect. I guess this is about social status and how to rise a bit above my low rung on the ladder. [more inside]
posted by DarkForest on Oct 4, 2007 - 29 answers

His father just passed away, he's from India, how do I show respect.

My Indian (Bangalore) co-worker's father just passed away. How do I offer him the proper condolences and support? [more inside]
posted by Null Pointer and the Exceptions on Jan 29, 2007 - 3 answers

Don't vouch for me!

How can I get a coworker to stop vouching for my time or presence? [more inside]
posted by fijiwriter on Jan 3, 2007 - 17 answers

Getting others to work for you.

How do you get people to do things you tell them to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2006 - 25 answers

Alton vs. Martha in the Kitchen?

Alton Brown vs. Martha Stewart: Who do you trust more in the kitchen? [more inside]
posted by UnclePlayground on Nov 28, 2005 - 40 answers

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