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Seeking fee-based financial planner in DC for jellybean-sized nest egg

Any recommendations for a fee-based financial planner in Northern Virginia (or the DMV area)? Someone willing to accept an hourly fee for a few hours of consultation, regarding the possibility of retirement in 15 or so years. Thanks in advance.
posted by Napoleonic Terrier on Sep 25, 2016 - 3 answers

What would an underwater farm look like in a freshwater ecosystem?

I've been hearing a lot of interesting stuff lately about kelp/seaweed farming, which often incorporates oysters, mussels, etc. Is a practical analogue for freshwater ecosystems possible? [more inside]
posted by cnidaria on Sep 25, 2016 - 10 answers

How do I land a job working at a university?

I moved to a new area recently and found a Master's program I'd love to attend. How do I land a job at this university, so I can attend in the future, after having accrued some free course 'credits' in the system? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Sep 25, 2016 - 24 answers

How to transfer WhatsApp chats off deactivated phone?

Yesterday my wife got a new phone and kept her number, so her old phone is deactivated. We didn't back up her WhatsApp chats, so we can't restore her old messages from backup. Is there a way to transfer them? [more inside]
posted by OurOwnMrK on Sep 25, 2016 - 8 answers

What is the difference between "loner" and "keeps himself to himself"?

I believe "loner" is used in the U.S., whereas the expression "a man who keeps himself to himself to himself" is used in the U.K. Do the two have different connotations? If so, what are the differences, and why? [more inside]
posted by A. Davey on Sep 24, 2016 - 9 answers

Life Insurance after carrier downgraded to B++??

I have a term life insurance policy with Genworth, and recently got notified that this company was downgraded to a B++ by the rating agency. I know you aren't my lawyer, insurance broker, or investment advisor, and I will contact these people for specific advice for me. But in general, does this downgrade of the company mean that the policy is likely to be worthless? Should I look for another company?
posted by jasper411 on Sep 24, 2016 - 3 answers

How to report a blog post thief using Google Ads to Google?

I have a blog, and found another site which is duplicating multiple posts of mine in their entirety (text, photos, captions, formatting, the works), in violation of the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License under which I publish. The blog in question is on Wordpress, but uses Google Ads. How do I report the site to Google? Is it likely that reporting the site to Google will result in the thief losing Google Ads revenue? [more inside]
posted by Spathe Cadet on Sep 24, 2016 - 7 answers

Passport Renewal Timeline Woes

I got accepted to speak at a conference in Canada. Yay! My passport has expired. Boo. Regular passport renewal is 6 weeks. The conference is 49 days from now. [more inside]
posted by dirtdirt on Sep 24, 2016 - 16 answers

Fiat lux

How do I tastefully illuminate a large, top-hat-wearing inflatable spider? [more inside]
posted by Mrs. Rattery on Sep 24, 2016 - 7 answers

How do I resolve conflicting holiday goals?

I'm planning a trip to celebrate holidays, partly with my girlfriend and partly with my mother, and I'm having a communication / conflict issue between the two. Can you help? Details inside... [more inside]
posted by Homeboy Trouble on Sep 24, 2016 - 27 answers

Terminal Brain Cancer When You're Down and Out

My roommate's partner, who is a close friend of mine, has stage III terminal brain cancer. He has been symptom free for almost a year but he has recently been showing signs of the cancer advancing, including seizures. He is terrified of dealing with the system of getting treatment, and has been turned down for disability even though he is unable to work because of the cancer. How can we help? [more inside]
posted by ananci on Sep 23, 2016 - 10 answers

Somehow, Googling all Winter holidays does not help...

YouTube Filter: Help me remember a (popular?) YouTube video of yesteryear, that I watched in the mid-late 2000s! The video was ripped from a "local" style commercial/infomercial around "the Holidays" (e.g., Christmas, Hanukkah, et cetera). A crazed, totally bald man wished the audience a great [insert every western Winter holiday here]. He spoke in very intense, stilted speech: "MERRY. CHRIST. MAS." At one point, he just sings, "Kwanzaaaaaa!" It ends with him and his family wishing the audience a "Happy Holidays from [whatever business]!" ... He may have ran a car dealership? [more inside]
posted by The Sock Puppet Sentience Movement on Sep 23, 2016 - 2 answers

I don't want to be turned away

I have never used Eventbrite before and have a question regarding names on tickets. [more inside]
posted by thereemix on Sep 23, 2016 - 13 answers

Death Takes a Holiday

Is there any serious confirmation or statistical corroboration for the idea that they changed the dates on death certificates in some wars, on certain dates? [more inside]
posted by Michele in California on Sep 23, 2016 - 5 answers

The election is ruining my twitter feed

Why are Trump and Clinton showing up in my Twitter feed all of a sudden and is there any way to get rid of them? [more inside]
posted by NoraCharles on Sep 23, 2016 - 11 answers

Can you identify the subject of this painting?

This painting is by an anonymous master, probably from the 18th century. It hangs in my neighbor's living room, but she does not know what it represents. Can you help identify the subject of the painting? Link here
posted by paulfromgent on Sep 23, 2016 - 8 answers

So, a hedgehog walked into a house

What to do, (if anything,) about a hedgehog trying to get into the house? About 6 weeks ago, a hedgehog took up residence in my garden. A couple of weeks ago, I went out to dinner, forgetting to close the door from my kitchen to the garden and he apparently wandered in. After I found him, I left the door open overnight so he was back in the garden by morning. Now, he tries most evenings after dusk to get back in, scratching at the door and making my dogs crazy. I'm starting to suspect he may be a domesticated variety that was simply dumped. If that's the case, I'm a bit worried about him come winter. What do? Is there any way to easily tell if he's wild or actually an abandoned pet? [more inside]
posted by Expat on Sep 22, 2016 - 13 answers

WOOFing...what's the best way to contact a host farm?

I finally bit the bullet and bought a membership to WOOF after mulling for a year or so. For those of you that have successfully established work with a host farm: how do you go about it? [more inside]
posted by Young Kullervo on Sep 22, 2016 - 2 answers

What knot is this?

I'd like to make this little whisk, but can't figure out what knot it is. I looked through Ashley, and didn't see anything. Suggestions I've already gotten are Mathew Walker, diamond, crown and wall. But all of these knots look like they were tied in the middle of the rope. I've seen (and made) Des Pawson's Sailors Whisk, but it has a hanging loop, I just want the ball end.
posted by Marky on Sep 22, 2016 - 14 answers

Meaningless Arrangements

I'm looking for something that will take a given set of letters and display all possible arrangements of those letters. All I can find are anagram servers, which is NOT what I want, because they only serve up real words. I don't care if the words are real or not. I'm only interested in strings about 5 characters long, so it's ok if the tool limits my input so as to avoid having to calculate "10!" (which would be over 3.6 million results). Does such a tool exist?
posted by paperback version on Sep 22, 2016 - 7 answers

Best place to rent a tuxedo in NYC?

I've got a black tie optional wedding coming up. I could wear a suit, but I've put on too much weight to fit into my suits. So I figure why not get spiffy. BUT the best place, Eisenberg & Eisenberg, has closed its doors for good. So... [more inside]
posted by old_growler on Sep 21, 2016 - 2 answers

Is it too late to say I'm thankful?

I recently interviewed two people, by phone, for about an hour and a half each. I verbally thanked them when the interview was over, but haven't sent them thank-you emails like I originally intended to. It's been slightly over two weeks. Should I still send the emails? If so, how do I word them in the most polite way possible- should I apologize for how long they took to send or avoid mentioning their tardiness? [more inside]
posted by perplexion on Sep 21, 2016 - 7 answers

I'm losing my mind with static IPv6, a pool of addresses, and DHCP-PD.

I'm one of those lucky, bleeding-edge people with Comcast's Gigabit Pro service (the symmetrical, 2Gb fiber service they've started rolling out for bragging rights, so they can say they have twice the speed of Google Fiber). It comes with fixed IPv4 and IPv6 addresses, and I'm having a hell of a time configuring the IPv6 portion in my router. Tech support is useless, even with the Comcast-supplied router. Can someone geekier than me help me out? [more inside]
posted by CommonSense on Sep 21, 2016 - 10 answers

Applying for a new job posting at company that rejected me already

Long story short, I applied for Project Manager position on Team A at a company. I got to the final rounds but ultimately got rejected. This was about a week ago. Today, I just found a new posting from this company for another Project Manager role, but on Team B (i.e., same role, but with a different hiring manager and set of people) and I want to apply for it. What are some things I should think about? More details below. [more inside]
posted by 6spd on Sep 21, 2016 - 10 answers

How do I move a small amount of household goods from overseas?

I'm selling my home in Panama. I have a few things (a painting, a 3-5 boxes worth of stuff) that I want to take back to Hawaii. What's the best and/or least expensive way to get it back to Hawaii? Details inside... [more inside]
posted by KillaSeal on Sep 21, 2016 - 9 answers

What conference should I go to?

Please give me ideas for (design/creative/freelancer/feminist) conferences in 2017 that meet my requirements below. Anywhere in the world is fine. Your personal anecdotes count double. [more inside]
posted by 100kb on Sep 21, 2016 - 6 answers

Should I trade my work BlackBerry in for an iPhone 6?

I work for the government and have a BlackBerry for work. I'm eligible for an upgrade and can choose between the BlackBerry Classic and the iPhone 6. My personal phone is an iPhone and I prefer them... but will I be shooting myself in the foot? [more inside]
posted by oblique red on Sep 21, 2016 - 14 answers

Getting to Vieques: Is it a hassle? Would we be missing out?

I've read all of the MeFi threads about Puerto Rico and I'm trying to figure out if an excursion to Vieques makes sense for this trip. So many people have told us to visit Vieques (and MeFi seems to confirm this), but it seems a bit expensive to get there ($400 for two people is expensive for us for a flight). I'd also like to get some opinions on whether Vieques is worthwhile for a 2 or 3 night stay, as opposed to spending more time elsewhere in Puerto Rico and saving Vieques for another trip? [more inside]
posted by pourtant on Sep 21, 2016 - 14 answers

Looking for non-military metaphors for living with cancer

I have multiple myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and though I want to do everything possible to regain my health, I'm not a fan of the military metaphors people use. Several studies have found that people who use military metaphors have more trouble with making changes that might prolong their lives. Can the hive mind come up with better ideas? [more inside]
posted by FencingGal on Sep 21, 2016 - 14 answers

Sleeping on a full stomach - science or woo?

Is there any reputable evidence that going to bed on a full stomach is bad for you, healthwise? [more inside]
posted by threetwentytwo on Sep 21, 2016 - 10 answers

Name these wildflowers (Western PA, USA)

We just moved into a pretty much total landscaping blank slate house and I'm planning my gardens to start putting in in the spring. I want to place a heavy emphasis on native plants, so I've been taking pictures on my runs through local parks. Inside: name those wildflowers! [more inside]
posted by soren_lorensen on Sep 21, 2016 - 11 answers

Help me choose a tablet for reading comics

I want a tablet for reading comics, occasional word processing, and faffing around on the internet. I prioritise screen quality, good input, longevity and low cost. I am not hugely fond of the Apple ecosystem. What do you recommend? [more inside]
posted by tavegyl on Sep 20, 2016 - 14 answers

MIL is sick and won't let FIL leave her side

I am looking for suggestions on how to help. My husband's family seems to be stuck in a pattern. His parents are older and his mother's anxiety is so bad that she can't be left alone for a minute. [more inside]
posted by crunchy_cereals on Sep 20, 2016 - 14 answers

Is it silly to wait around for love?

You see it in the movies, two lovers split but somehow run into each other and fall in love again and are able to be together. It seems silly, but I've fallen in love and I'm not sure if it's a stupid idea to wait around for something like the movies. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 20, 2016 - 27 answers

How weird was this interaction in my undergrad lab today?

I had an interaction with my lab partner that I thought was weird today, but I'm having trouble parsing exactly how weird it was (if at all!) and if I should do anything about it. [more inside]
posted by Snarl Furillo on Sep 20, 2016 - 36 answers

Where to watch the presidential debate(s) in Berkeley/Oakland?

The first debate is coming up in a week. I could watch it at home, but I'd rather watch it with some like-minded (i.e. fiercely anti-trump) people for psychic support. Anyone know a good bar/cafe/other public venue in Berkeley or Oakland that will be screening the debate(s)?
posted by hoist with his own pet aardvark on Sep 19, 2016 - 7 answers

Eating out on a low FODMAP diet in Portland, OR?

My folks are in town this weekend and Mom is on a low FODMAP diet (the strict version). Looking for recommendations for restaurants (any area of Portland) that will have options for her to choose from, and that are good at helping out people with unusual food allergies. [more inside]
posted by finding.perdita on Sep 19, 2016 - 8 answers

First Time Using Post 9/11 GI Bill...Having Problems

Does anyone know or have experience using the GI Bill? Especially regarding payment obligations to the university? Do I ever have to pay up front? [more inside]
posted by snsranch on Sep 19, 2016 - 5 answers

Good videos with the emotional impact of something failing?

Good videos with the emotional impact of something failing? Like, something engineered failing or some software or some contraption failing and people being disappointed by it. Fiction or nonfiction, both are good. Software specifically would be nice, but other failures are good, just with the emotional impact, too.
posted by hleehowon on Sep 19, 2016 - 12 answers

Are all solar lights terrible, or just mine?

I bought some cheap solar pathway lights and some decorative solar lanterns. They provide next to zero light, for about three hours. Then they really provide zero light. Also, about 80% of them turn on at all on a given day, though they all turn on *sometimes*. It's a shady area, so I know they aren't charging as much as they might if I lived elsewhere, but might higher quality solar lights be better and brighter, or is this just how they work?
posted by OrangeVelour on Sep 19, 2016 - 11 answers

Name this Band

Starting up a new project, and we can't agree on a name. Hope that Mefi will have a good suggestion! [more inside]
posted by kittensofthenight on Sep 19, 2016 - 63 answers

What beverages are similar to a raspberry lambic?

This summer, I discovered I really like raspberry lambic. Lindeman's framboise lambic is readily available to me, but I'd like to expand my horizons. Bonus points for something domestic and less-expensive. What should I try to find or sample?
posted by QuantumMeruit on Sep 19, 2016 - 21 answers

Dispute with home warranty company: sewage ejector pump or sump pump?

We're going around and around with our home warranty company over whether or not they are obligated to replace the sewage ejector pump in our basement. They say it's a "sump pump functioning as an ejector pump" and therefore not covered. What can we do to fight this? [more inside]
posted by halcyon_daze on Sep 19, 2016 - 21 answers

Best Practise for Writers & Publishing

I'm currently writing a non-fiction book that will be published next year. I want to hear your best tips for keeping things running smoothly - especially towards the end of the publishing process. Specific circumstances inside. [more inside]
posted by kariebookish on Sep 19, 2016 - 1 answer

Brain dead with eggplant - help me make dinner!

I have a large organic eggplant that I need to use up today. I am also nearly brain dead with kid-related lack of sleep. Tell me what relatively simple recipe I should make. [more inside]
posted by ryanshepard on Sep 19, 2016 - 19 answers

Re-Equip Ansela Adams

While I was on vacation last week, my camera (among other things) was stolen and I need to replace it. I really, really liked it, but the exact model has since been discontinued, and I can only get used models online via eBay. Please either reassure me it's okay to do that or recommend something similar. [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos on Sep 19, 2016 - 13 answers

How did lucid dreaming suddenly manifest in my life?

For the past couple nights I have been aware of dreams in which I was sitting up, yet knew I was asleep and my first thought was "don't wake the cat" who sleeps curled up with me. Are these really lucid dreams - and if so, how shall I foster and welcome them? [more inside]
posted by jet_silver on Sep 18, 2016 - 7 answers

Tipping at Riviera Maya resort - pesos or dollars?

At an all-inclusive resort on the Riviera Maya, do the staff prefer tips in pesos or American dollars? I've seen lots of conflicting opinions from travelers and I'd like to try to do what the staff actually wants. If they're tipped in dollars, do they have to exchange it for pesos before they can use it, and does that disadvantage them? Or does the exchange rate make dollars a better deal for them? Thanks!
posted by Rocky Mtn Erica on Sep 18, 2016 - 9 answers

Help me find compression stockings to wear while flying

The last couple of times I've flown I've experienced ankle swelling. I'm flying again in two weeks and would like to try compression socks. What brand/features should I look for? What brand has worked for you? I already know that I need to get up and walk during the flight, try to keep from crossing my legs, etc-- this question is simply about recommendations for compression socks/stockings to wear during long flights. Thanks, fellow MeFi travelers!
posted by bookmammal on Sep 18, 2016 - 14 answers

Short film from 1980s childrens show: automatic breakfast maker

Back in the day when Duoshao was a tyke, namely the late 70s/early 80s, one of the children's shows such as Electric Company or something similar periodically showed a short film of a complex machine that cooked breakfast. Does anyone remember this? I'd love to watch it again. [more inside]
posted by duoshao on Sep 18, 2016 - 12 answers

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