Anyone know any short jokes featuring ketchup? 1 to 3 lines is best. [more inside]
In short: I made a mistake merging onto the motorway yesterday and kind of cut a woman off. She followed me and when I stopped at a stop light, she jumped out of her car, threw my door open and screamed at me. I'm shaken. How can I make peace with this stressful situation? [more inside]
I just bought the Faber paperback edition of A Girl is a Half-formed Thing by Eimear McBride. The cover looks familiar - the rounded serifs in the typeface, and the apple at the bottom. Is it a pastiche of or reference to another, famous, older book cover? Stylistically, I'm thinking 1970s. [more inside]
I have a 2012 Mazda3 with manual transmission. In the last month it's been "broken into" twice. However, I'm somewhat sure both times that I forgot to press the lock button on the fob. Is there a way to configure something in the car that makes it lock within 30 seconds or so of turning off the car in case I forget? Apparently there are different answers for automatics vs. manuals.
Where would I find an aquarium within a day's drive of Oklahoma City with large sharks? Oklahoma Aquarium in Jenks has bull sharks, OKC Zoo has taken out their large shark display. I'm thinking something in Texas, Missouri, Arkansas, or points south and east. A weekend trip is possible. Thanks!
My relative has chronic wrist pain from nerve damage. She already has a wrist wrap for work and things involving her hands. She says heat help her wrist feel better and has been putting her wrist under steam from a tea kettle. Is there a device made specifically for this purpose? What other methods and/or devices are there to help ease the pain in her wrist?
Can I format/partition it for both systems without losing all the data I've already backed up on it? [more inside]
A pair of my friends would like to get married quickly (politics!), but they'll only be able to get to NYC on the 30th. After the one-day waiting period, they can get hitched on New Year's Eve sometime in the afternoon, but the Marriage Bureau is, of course, closed. Do you know of a place that wouldn't mind us taking up space for 15 or 20 minutes, tops, that early afternoon? [more inside]
My grandmother is elderly and has Alzheimer's. I grew up in a different country to where she lives and we don't share a common language, so our relationship has never been very close, but I love her immensely and I know she adores me too. Every Christmas we send each other a card - a tradition I look forward to very much - and since I started cohabiting with my partner six years ago, I have always signed the card from both of us. [more inside]
My co-worker's wife suffered a near-drowning incident while on vacation, and is in ICU at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami. Her husband and daughter have found temporary accommodations near the hospital. We (in Northern Virginia) would like to help the family by pre-paying for a food delivery service in the area. The hospital cafeteria page links to the web page of Doorstep Delivery, which unfortunately is not in operation at this time. Can any Miami-area MeFites direct us to a reputable food delivery service in the area? Thanks.
I sometimes need a short-term car rental on behalf of out-of-state employees on short notice. I have no trouble doing this for airfare and hotels, but car rentals have been a unique hassle. Is there an easy way to do this that doesn't put the employee out-of-pocket? [more inside]
Upon breaking up, my ex and I decided to make a go at being friends. It didn't work. I blocked her on Messenger. She then emailed me at work to ask if I'm OK, and what's up? Do I owe her an explanation? (Snowflakes within.) [more inside]
I'd like to give someone a gift card to some neato place in Berkeley, CA. I have to buy it from, and have it delivered to, the other side of the USA. [more inside]
Hi, trying to start off my new massage business, and am going to rent a woman's home salon (when she's not using it) I would love to offer online scheduling. But I need to coordinate with her schedule, which she keeps with her phone's calendar (Google). Seems that to get syncronization with the salon owner's calendar, every scheduling app wants a monthly fee. Is there nothing out there that will allow clients to book appointments on my Gcalendar? [more inside]
I'm hoping to buy a new Eames lounge chair and ottoman either next year or in 2018. What would be the cheapest way to get it? So far I found only 2 options to get (somewhat) reduced price, are there any other tricks? [more inside]
I need a recommendation on a good flatbed scanner that can handle 35mm slides as well as color and b&w photo negatives of all shapes and sizes. [more inside]
I want to see a live performance of Elton John & Tim Rice's Aida. Flexible on performance quality and location. How to find this? [more inside]
I'm looking for examples of two things for something I'm working on: (1) TV/movie characters who are geniuses (not just smart) depicted as nerds and socially awkward. (2) TV/movie characters who are geniuses depicted as sexy/cool/badass. (Fictional characters only.)
Looking for songs to listen to while carefully not waiting for the phone to ring. Something that will help regain some of the chill that should already be there. Not looking for pure instrumentals; something that is just subtly supposed to be calm. Nothing romantic, but nothing break-up-themed either. Ideally something that acknowledges and captures this nervous energy and lets it dissipate. [more inside]
I'm making myself a new winter coat out of dark brown cashmere suiting. The fabric has a nappy side (left swatch) and a smooth side (right swatch) and I'm not *quite* sure which is the right side of the fabric. [more inside]
Looking for vegan main dish to bring to a Hanukkah party. My go-to is lentil shepherd's pie, but that's too much potato as latkes will also be served. No mushrooms, please.
I recently purchased a tapestry version of an amazing two-color print of a octopus/kraken attacking a ship. But I'm seeing piece of this print used on other homegoods sites so obviously this is not the retailer's original image, and I'd prefer to purchase goods from the original artist. Also the hunt for the source is irresistible. [more inside]
I'd like to get my wife a set of wheel lights for her manual wheelchair. The requirements being a bit different from typical bicycle applications, I seek insight and suggestions. [more inside]
After being convinced here last year that I should keep the Amazon Echo that I received as a gift, we have been completely happy with it. Moreover, my inlaws also have enjoyed it when they come over to visit. They like the ability to just ask for music and have the music "just play." As such, I was thinking of getting them an Echo as a gift. However, they don't have Amazon Prime. How much will this impact what they are able to do? Bonus question: Is a Google Home a better alternative? Bonus bonus question: If they are willing to pay an ongoing subscription fee, which between the two will get them the most bang for their buck?
I am a fan of the Siberian Crane who took a wrong turn and ended up in Taiwan. Now in Japan, maybe? Problem: I can't read Chinese. [more inside]
I want to gift my husband with a game (board, online, whatever) that we can play together an hour or so after work each weekday. Recommendations? [more inside]
I'm impressed by the freewheeling way people used international shipping to get around in the late 19th century. The lack of modern passport requirements undoubtedly helped. Looking at ships' manifests, however, there often appear to be wide differences between names, ages, etc., that are listed by the shipping company and the actual details of the passengers. In particular, children are often listed as significantly younger than what they actually were. [more inside]
I just got a new Visa and a new Discover card each with new numbers but they have the same 3 digit security code. Is that just a massively wild coincidence? [more inside]
The one scene I remember involved a young man and woman running away from something (an opening portal). As they were running away they were holding hands and their hands starting to morph, meld, blend, combine, fuse into one hand. Everyone else and everything else was also morphing or changing in some way. Things were falling apart. [more inside]
After years of an entirely normal relationship with my accountant -- meaning, we go in once a year and do our taxes -- we had a problem arise. I haven't been able to get our accountant to help, nor even return my emails/calls, for over a month. I dropped him & set out to find a new accountant. None will return my calls. Am I asking for something crazy? Help. [more inside]
Years ago someone gave me one package of carbon transfer 'paper' acquired from a thrift store, but rather than being paper it was on a plasticy backing. If I had to guess, the backing was mylar. The backside of the sheet was green with a pattern of gold stylized leaves. The carbon side was also shiny, and if I had to guess the carbon was suspended in wax. My google skills have failed me. Do you know what this stuff was, and better yet whether this exact product or something quite similar still exists?
House offer is welcome but at the lower end of the guide price. Should I try to negotiate for more in these freaky Brexit-y times? Or should I take the money and run? [more inside]
Ok, it could also be a children's novel. All I know is I keep thinking about it off-and-on but the actual title eludes me. I believe I read in the late 1990s or early 2000s, although the book may have been published before that time. It was dystopian, coming of age theme. The basic plot that I can remember is that a virus killed off all adults leaving the children behind. [more inside]
I seem to recall an article some years ago (Possibly about a previous US election?) from a US based news organization where they wrote in the tone and style that's normally used for foreign countries. Does that ring a bell with anyone? I think it was linked on Metafilter but haven't been able to find it.
I want to report faulty contact lenses to someone (I'm in the UK), or to sue the manufacturer. Who do I go to? [more inside]
Genuinely curious: how do people adapt to life's daily demands while maintaining really long, ornate fingernails or wearing large bracelets and/or rings? [more inside]
I want to get a treat for someone laid up at the moment in Bremen, and I don't live there or know it at all. I'd normally go for an experience gift but they can't do much at the moment. What treat can I order and have delivered, preferably locally to reduce air miles? [more inside]
I was born in Canada in 1974 to a Canadian father and American mother. I have a US State Department-issued Birth of US Citizen Abroad and a Canadian birth certificate. In 1977, we all moved to the US, where we have stayed. My dad is a permanent resident alien with a green card. I have a US passport and social security number. I'm married to a US citizen and have a son. What is the process should I want to return to Canada, with my family? [more inside]
I live in a hot, humid climate. I have bought a 60% acrylic, 40% nylon yarn to make baby presents for friends. It's not the best choice for this climate. What can I make with it? [more inside]
What are your favourite examples of music writing? I'm looking specifically for pieces and articles that introduced you to someone new, that made you want to either buy their records or go see them live. My own favourite example is the artist biographies from the Golden Plains Music Festival. [more inside]
Why can Alex Jones make outlandish claims that provoke gullible people into illegal acts without breaking any laws himself? Why haven't he and his cohort been sued into oblivion?
The best way to get better at something is to practice. I'd like to get better at handling criticism and rejection. What are some good ways to practice that? [more inside]
Anyone know of a place in the Brattleboro/Putney VT area where I could watch the MLS final on Saturday?
Hey guys! I need to get my mom some new winter boots and nice, thick socks asap. Eh...snowflakes within... [more inside]
Please give me your tips on making handwritten math homework more attractive and useful, so I can enjoy reviewing my self-study math notebook. [more inside]
I am looking for plain white cotton handkerchiefs that won't curl up at the edges when I wash them. I don't want to iron my handkerchiefs. I realize they'll be wrinkled and I don't mind that. But I'd really like to find some that don't curl up terribly at the edges. [more inside]
So, I did some research on this and reviews from Facebook say, that this is a decent cable. I cancelled my PS vue service in order to try it out as it has all HD and it is 4k ready. Has anyone here tried this service? If so what to expect? [more inside]
Renting a place with Daikin mini-splits, and can't seem to figure out how to effectually use it. [more inside]