271 posts tagged with resolved and family.
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Great, teenagers.

My kids are 11, 13 and nearly 15. I don't know how to play with them. I miss family outings. What kinds of things do you do with your young teens? [more inside]
posted by stellathon on Oct 29, 2015 - 17 answers

How can I detach myself from most of my local family members?

My father, stepmother, aunt, cousin, and sister seem to have a vested interest in seeing me inaccurately. I've come to terms with their scapegoating and black-sheeping of me. It's been validated by numerous therapists as well as my mom, and the dynamic fits most of what I've read online about scapegoating dynamics. To abruptly go No Contact with them would make things much worse for me. I need Low Contact, polite, superficial strategies, please. [more inside]
posted by Beethoven's Sith on Oct 26, 2015 - 40 answers

How Can I Cope With Being a Primary Caregiver?

My mom has dementia. She's in denial about this dementia, and her denial has created some difficulties. I feel guilty, but acting as her primary caregiver is starting to affect me adversely. [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Oct 15, 2015 - 25 answers

Interviewing family: what questions to ask on a recurring basis?

I have a family interview project in mind. I've read some great ideas in AskMe, and have read through StoryCorps and Smithsonian resources. For the most part, what I've read pertains to one-time oral history projects. My project is a little different: I'd like to conduct short 1-on-1 interviews with immediate family (about 10 people), and repeat these interviews every few years. I'd love some question suggestions. [more inside]
posted by duffell on Oct 9, 2015 - 7 answers

Supporting boyfriend through mom's (terminal?) illness and the holidays

I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. About a month in he told me that his mom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor 8 months before we met. His mom has done radiation and was seeming to get better in the last few months. He was making plans for me to meet his family for the first time on Thanksgiving. He just found out his mother has taken a turn for the worse (she's having difficulty walking), and I'd like to know: 1) how I can support him and 2) how to navigate meeting his family during this difficult time. [more inside]
posted by lafemma on Sep 29, 2015 - 11 answers

Hip, Hip Hooray, for Christmas Vacation

Our family rarely takes vacations, and even then, just to visit family, or at best, to a nearby lake. But big leaps forward in our careers have us thinking it's time to finally treat ourselves. We're thinking of taking the kid to Vegas for Christmas and rolling out, if not all the stops, many more than we've customarily been able/willing to afford. Give us tips for Vegas in general, Vegas for families, Vegas at the holidays, and small and medium things we can do to feel like high rollers. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Sep 26, 2015 - 25 answers

Are You My Daddy?

Asking for a friend: "There is some question about who my father is - the man who raised me (Daddy) or his brother (Uncle) The only family DNA I have is from my nephew who is my sister's son, definitely Daddy's grandson. My nephew and I share 1610 cM. Is this enough information to determine who my father is?"
posted by Allee Katze on Sep 24, 2015 - 5 answers

Dieting with a Family

I recently started a weight loss research study that will last three months. In addition to regular exercise, it involves eating only pre-packaged meals supplemented with fruits and vegetables. I'm really excited about this opportunity to lose weight and learn healthy habits, but I'm worried my family is going to make it difficult for me. How can I stick to this diet without drastically interrupting my families eating habits and my social life? [more inside]
posted by galvanized unicorn on Sep 17, 2015 - 15 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

Three body problem: vacation for people from MA, NY, and MD

We are trying to organize a family vacation for a long weekend (August 28-30) of this year. We are three couples with complicated variables and at least one satellite moon. Help us put this together! [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek on Jul 13, 2015 - 13 answers

Is it normal that I'm so private with my mother?

This Onion article reflects pretty well my relationship with my mother. I love her very much, but I can rarely bring myself to share much with her about my life, and when I do, I usually regret it. Is this common for men? [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 14, 2015 - 26 answers

Do I want to interrupt an engineering career to do patent law?

I’m trying to determine if it’s worth it to plan a career change from engineering to patent law, with a lengthy, difficult, expensive stop through law school first. Have you done this? Do you have special insight? [more inside]
posted by rybreadmed on Jun 3, 2015 - 17 answers

Web tool for collaboratively captioning photos?

I'm editing and typesetting my grandfather's memoir. I have many (over 100) photos of his I digitized now on my computer, but many are missing captions. What site/tool should I use to go through the photos with him? He's quite tech savvy for someone in his 90s, but he also lives across the country and it's hard for him to hear on the phone.
posted by waninggibbon on May 15, 2015 - 4 answers

Not invited to the wedding

My brother-in-law invited my wife and my kids to his wedding, but not me. This evening, he texted my wife asking her to do a reading at the wedding. She's going to say yes. I feel amazingly resentful. Help. [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on May 14, 2015 - 36 answers

Long car rides and family get-togethers

I've planned a day-long road trip to spend about a week at my cousin's farm. My husband and I with our 4-1/2 year old daughter are planning to drive 10 hours to get out there. We'll stay a week. My mother lives another 4 hours from where we'll be staying. We decided not to tack on a trip out to see her and so she invited herself on our trip. I'm of two minds about this. [more inside]
posted by amanda on May 5, 2015 - 9 answers

Brother committed suicide. Shocked and confused. What now?

My brother killed himself yesterday. I just found out today. While I'm not surprised he would do it based on a complicated and messed up history, I am still in shock. Please help me process my feelings. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey on Apr 8, 2015 - 25 answers

Family Puerto Rico trip on short notice

We (my husband, me, 4 year old kid) are thinking of going to Puerto Rico for a week in early-mid March. We know almost nothing except that we want to not be cold for a few days. Where do we start? Is this a good idea or is the snow affecting our judgement? So many questions. [more inside]
posted by tchemgrrl on Feb 18, 2015 - 9 answers

How do we tell his family that we are having a secular wedding?

My fiance and I are both atheists with strong antitheist views. We're getting married in November and want something that represents us. His family, however, is extremely religious (Baptist) and will have certain expectations of us; they don't easily take no for an answer. What is the best way to balance the two worlds? [more inside]
posted by DriftingLotus on Feb 8, 2015 - 30 answers

When is a last name left lowercase?

I'm writing a piece of software to go through a very large database and format last names in their correct casing (i.e., smith or SMITH or sMith to Smith.) However, I'm obviously aware some names should be kept as lowercase—but what names? [more inside]
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire on Jan 21, 2015 - 17 answers

Help me make a bad situation not worse

I'm looking for resources about speaking to my father and dealing with my family in light of his recent mental health issues. [more inside]
posted by FakePalindrome on Jan 15, 2015 - 9 answers

Am I obligated to attend my brother's baby shower after being "flaked"?

My brother's wife is due to have a baby boy sometime this month. I will be an uncle for the first time. The baby shower is taking place this upcoming Sunday. My girlfriend since May of last year is not a big fan of my brother. She hasn't even met him to begin with. She felt that he flaked out on me during my college graduation and birthday last year. [more inside]
posted by tnar23 on Jan 4, 2015 - 60 answers

Remembering the dead

I lost my husband this year, and my adult children lost their beloved father. I would like to start a tradition for remembrance this Christmas, at a meal or at gift opening. Ideally it should be short, meaningful, and accommodating of a wide range of beliefs, from atheist, to agnostic, to believer, to alternate religion. Any suggestions?
posted by francesca too on Dec 10, 2014 - 18 answers

Seeking a winter get aways with kids in New England

The alms family (2 adults + 8 y.o. + 4 y.o.) is looking to spend 2-3 days in a rural setting over the winter break, with activities like sleigh rides, bonfires, snow shoeing, nature walks, board games, tubing, possibly xc skiing, and other kids activities. We don't downhill ski or snowboard ourselves although we’d consider a ski resort if it has enough of the other things going on. We think a full service inn catering to families is probably the best bet but maybe there is a farm-inn stay, ski resort or rental that would work. [more inside]
posted by alms on Dec 8, 2014 - 7 answers

They don't deserve coal but....

Please help me find gifts for my neices so I am at least allowed back next year! (I know, another gift question, but hopefully there is enough special snowflake-ness for yall) [more inside]
posted by Fullofcrazy on Dec 6, 2014 - 18 answers

Need a good lawyer in Victoria or Vancouver, British Columbia

A friend in Victoria is trying to extricate herself from an emotionally abusive relationship. She has been living with this man for ten years and they own a house jointly. [more inside]
posted by Johnny Wallflower on Nov 30, 2014 - 4 answers

Please help me have a (relatively) stress-free Christmas

Looking for advice on how to have a peaceful couple of days with family members with whom I have unresolved issues. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Nov 30, 2014 - 15 answers

Boyfriend doesn't want to live together. Am I deluding myself?

I have a darling boyfriend who I have been dating for 1.5 years. We are generally very happy (so much fun, so much in common, and very attracted to each other), and I love him. My lease is up, and he's decided that he's not ready to live together yet. Other people (especially my family) are giving me a hard time about it. How do I know if they're right? [more inside]
posted by socktothepuppet on Nov 20, 2014 - 47 answers

How to feel the holidays?

How does a happily married couple with no children and tenuous family ties enjoy the holidays? My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and we are happy with each other. It's everyone else we struggle with. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Nov 15, 2014 - 24 answers

Wedding gift for children in new blended family?

My son is creating a new little family and grandma wants to give a small, sentimental gift to the children to help them remember and celebrate the day. [more inside]
posted by raisingsand on Oct 28, 2014 - 19 answers

I want to go off psych meds but my family might not. Do I do it anyway?

I made a promise to my family that I wouldn't make decisions about my treatment without them. I want alternative treatment. If they say no, do I still go? [more inside]
posted by defmute on Aug 22, 2014 - 73 answers

What is the best way to find housing in the South Bay area?

My husband has a job in Campbell, CA, and we've been looking at Craigslist and Zillow and Realtor.com for places to live. We've already had an attempted scam via CL and I don't want to waste time with other useless sites. Any recommendations? [more inside]
posted by lysdexic on Aug 3, 2014 - 9 answers

Sexist dog? Protective dog? Traumatized dog?

Does a dog's behavior against his owner--in only about 50% of circumstances--warrant concern? The answers in this ask were helpful, particularly this one (there is much of item #3 that happens during play). But what I want to know is whether his dog's behavior around step-brother + a female might point to something from his past. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 11 answers

Family suicide complicated by lack of communication: is it ADHD?

My husband’s cousin recently killed himself. The sadness we feel is colored by intense anger at my husband’s mother, who never communicated what was going on with the cousin - or that he had moved to a city we visit frequently. Could "forgetting" to mention or misrepresenting major family information/news be a byproduct of ADHD? Yes, there's more inside... [more inside]
posted by mitschlag on Jul 3, 2014 - 38 answers

Lost and found: half sibling edition

I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 3, 2014 - 32 answers

Never in my life did I think my son share/split...the restaurant tab

Indians of me-fi: is it commonly accepted etiquette that splitting a restaurant bill with Indian parents is an insult? [more inside]
posted by ovenmitt on Jun 14, 2014 - 32 answers

Introductory sources on biological classification

I'm beginning a project that looks partly at biological classification, primarily in western science. I have no background in this, and so I'm digging around. I'm interested to know more about the current rules for nomenclature, and also to know more about historical, philosophical, sociological, knowledge practice, ethnographic, anthropological, science technology and society (STS), sociotechnical, etc., approaches to the study of biological classification. I'll take monographs, articles, papers, web sites, etc. I have access to a university library. What are some good sources that can introduce me to this? Many thanks!
posted by carter on Jun 9, 2014 - 13 answers

My 2-year-old niece is battling cancer. What can I say to be supportive?

I have been with my partner for over 5 years and know his family fairly well. A little over a year ago his brother's one year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. His daughter, whom I consider as a niece even though my partner and I are not married, has now been battling cancer for over a year. It appears to be quite aggressive. When my sister-in-law calls to give me updates about their daughter's condition (or vice-versa), what can I say to be supportive and express that I care? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Jun 5, 2014 - 17 answers

Memorial for family member planned while I'm away working

Someone in my extended family passed away. Her only child just told me that he'd like to plan a memorial for a future date while other relatives are in town. He and I were very close growing up, have somewhat drifted, but lately have been in one another's lives again. His mom was his only immediate family member. I already know I'm scheduled to be away from home working for three weeks at that time. Do I cancel, or proceed? [more inside]
posted by BestCoaster on Jun 3, 2014 - 11 answers

Obtaining consent before posting family photos to social media?

Am I wrong to want for my 25-year-old sister to get consent before posting photos of our family to >900 followers on social media sites (including Facebook and Instagram)? I feel annoyed by the Pinterest-perfect ideal of our family life that she's selling, and like my privacy is being violated in a big way. We're currently arguing about this and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable, or if there's a better/more productive script I can follow so that we might actually resolve the conflict. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on May 22, 2014 - 41 answers

How do I handle two siblings ganging up on me? Fun fact: they're 30.

My two older siblings and brother-in-law are beyond irritated with me when all I've been doing is minding my own business and forging my path into adulthood. They are never short of criticisms and any attempts at satisfying them are futile. Things got way out of hand this weekend to the point I am either ousted from future family functions or there will be an awkward vibe/fake niceness. [more inside]
posted by HiphopAnonymous on May 12, 2014 - 34 answers

Help my roommate and I find a fair and reasonable solution

Her sister is coming to stay with us for (??) weeks, how do I protect my boundaries [more inside]
posted by winterportage on May 6, 2014 - 22 answers

Is it a good idea to live next door to a sibling?

My brother and I have the opportunity to buy two houses next to each other. We like each other. Is this a great idea or a terrible one? [more inside]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm on Apr 24, 2014 - 37 answers

should I attend estranged sister's babyshower?

Today I got a message from my brother inviting me to our older sister's baby shower on Sunday and saying that she would really like me to come. I'm torn about attending because ...well, my sister didn't actually invite me. It's at her place so obviously it's not a surprise shower. Instead she relied on our brother to do it. [more inside]
posted by mariisoul on Apr 19, 2014 - 27 answers

Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 19 answers

Help Me Replace 'Raising Hope'!

My wife and I watch 4 shows together, Raising Hope, Cougar Town, Archer and Girls. Of the four shows, she is more into Girls than I am (although I love the show) and I am more into Archer than she is (she isn't a first language English speaker and they speak fast, plus references that are impossible for her to understand) but we both love Raising Hope and Cougar Town equally. The problem is that Raising Hope is no more and Cougar Town will likely not continue. What can we watch together? I think we are generally looking for a fairly light comedy with some kind of buddy/family elements. Generally more recent shows preferred, but they don't have to be totally current. Thanks!
posted by Literaryhero on Apr 13, 2014 - 29 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

How to quell impending blog doom from Aunt Lisa

How do I ask my aunt not to write about me in her blog (specifically wondering about wording), and how do I politely stick to my guns if she pushes back? Snowflakes after the fold. [more inside]
posted by horizonseeker on Mar 17, 2014 - 27 answers

What do you do when reason fails?

(Or, How I Learned Not to Meddle With the Affairs of Others) Someone is incredibly angry with another party, and you are caught in the middle. You may not know the entire picture, but you've seen enough to conclude that the Angry Person is letting his emotions get the best of him, even if he occasionally raises some good points. You have tried reasoning with Angry Person but he just dishes out comeback after comeback. You are exhausted with the drama and it seems like Angry Person has just begun gaining momentum. What do you do when reason fails? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by bigasthesky on Mar 7, 2014 - 20 answers

I didn't mean to be a condescending bitch. Yikes....

After my grandma lost her shit with me last night, she's calmed down enough to admit to my father today that she feels like I can be really condescending sometimes. Eek. This is a piece that I want to work on improving, while I'm also learning to be much more on guard whenever I'm around my grandma. Can you help me be less of an annoyingly (unintentionally) condescending/smug person? Ugh. The worst. [more inside]
posted by ohyouknow on Feb 24, 2014 - 52 answers

Help me help a friend learn how to help himself and not feel helpless

I have a friend (Steve) that seems to be unable to try and help himself get along in life when certain problems come up. He's mentioned more than a few times he's not happy where he's at and I've been trying to help when I can. About a year ago when we first talked on this he brought up the matter of not having finished highschool cuasing the problem in a big way. I knew a thing or two about some free programs so I pointed him in the right direction and he took it upon himself to get on it, get it done and move forward. Now since he got his GED back in fall, it seems like I and our small circle of friends are finding out a few other things that are causing this problem Steve's problem to come back with a vengeance. [snowflakes and the like ahead.] [more inside]
posted by ThrowbackDave on Feb 23, 2014 - 8 answers

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