Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with relocation

Livin' it up

threeants — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:41:44 -0800

What are some good ways, online, to get a feel for what it's like to live in various cities/towns in the US? I often find myself-- either out of idle curiosity or genuine potential relocation-- trying to find out what it's like, in a qualitative sense, to live in various places. Some resources I already use: Wikipedia, looking at pictures on Google Streetview, Citydata forums. Is there some kind of website like Yelp or Tripadvisor, but that "reviews" entire municipalities, that I'm totally unaware of? Any creative ideas? I'm up for anything you have to suggest. I like reading about the characters of different neighborhoods in an area, people discussing their locale, regional rants/raves, etc.

I love the AskMe questions like "tell me all about East Nowhere, Kentucky"-- basically, where can someone go to compile similar information on their own?

By "what it's like" to live somewhere, I mean some sense of being able to imagine oneself in that environ. I apologize that it's a kind of vague concept, but that openendedness is inherent to what I'm trying to figure out.

(I'm also perfectly willing to consider good ideas for non-US locations, but I just figured I'd narrow my scope here.)

Need apartment in Berlin available at short notice for month-long rental

maryrosecook — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 08:37:52 -0800

I need an apartment in Berlin (Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg/Mitte) available at short notice for a month-long rental. I can't find anything on Google except expensive holiday apartments. I arrive in mid-January and can't visit Berlin in advance. Budget: €30/night or €900/month. Where should I look? Thank you.

Where should I live in SW Connecticut that has a good cheap rent vs. good elem. school balance?

taumeson — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:47:28 -0800

I'm moving with my family to Connecticut in a few weeks. Definitely western CT, probably SW CT. Need advice on rent and elementary schools, specifically: "Where should I live that has a good balance of cheap rent vs. good schools"? I'm not going to be making SW Connecticut income, so I need a cheapish place to live with good schools. Aren't we all? I've investigated it a bit and there seem to be plenty of places to live as long as I avoid Norwalk and Bridgeport. Accurate assumptions? I'll be working near Stamford and Norwalk, with occasional stints near Hartford (once or twice monthly). I'd like to see a shorter commute than I currently have (50 mins each way) so I would like to live near where I'll be working.

Propitious places to move to & unusual living situations for having 3 or 4 days a week free to work on personal project

cotesdurhone — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:39:38 -0800

I'm working on a project that requires at least 3 or 4 full days attention each week. What are some places in the US or world I could move to, &/or unusual living situations, that would give me a good chance of doing this? Other considerations:

• Part-time job terminating Jan 1, and definitely want to move elsewhere (currently live in Boston)
• Have $5000 savings. Will probably also be able to continue receiving unemployment (about $1,000 month) if I move out of state (but not country, obviously)

• Age 30. US Citizen.
• Languages: English, Russian
• Skills: Writing and editing, visual art, Russian translation (but no graduate-level degrees to show this)
• BA from Liberal Arts college + semester (2 terms) at Oxford

Any and all reasonable options considered.

• Preferred urban environment: vibrant arts scene, inspiring architecture, not overrun with college students or sports fanatics, ethnically and age-ally diverse
• 'Ideal' destinations: Montreal, France
• Hypothetical order of preference: 1. Montreal & France (tie) 2. EU, Scandinavia, & Turkey 3. Eastern Europe 4. USA & Canada 5. South America 6. Asia 7. Australia/New Zealand 8. other

• Preferred rural environment: the more (interesting) people around, the better

• "unusual living situations" = housesitting - caretaking - living in some cabin - (earnest) meditative community - collective farm - kibbutz - teaching abroad - or anything else

• If it's helpful to know— the project is of a literary nature (a novel and other writings)

Finally, what are the very best resources (books, websites, magazines, etc) that might be of help?

Living in or near Honfleur, France

whatzit — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:44:31 -0800

I'm moving to France (not to paint houses)! Two big questions: Where to live while working in Honfleur? What should I buy in Japan or the US before moving, to take advantage of better prices? LIVING in Honfleur should be different than being a tourist. It was great as a tourist! But will I be bored silly living there? Should I stay in Le Havre or even Rouen? For work I should be out of the office ~50% of the time anyway. I am in my 20s, single, prefer an international, urban environment, and like access to food, sports, universities, public transport. I reckon a car is unavoidable.

DESPITE your and my own advice to move with as little as possible, the employer will pay shipping, and I have an advantage on prices on some things in Japan and the US. Should I ship my bicycle (mountain bike)? Go on a clothes spree? Am I forgetting anything?? Electronics are not an option (110-220 issue).

(This is as sudden, but more definite and more exciting than the previous Qatar option...)

Relocate the cat again or leave him in place?

impluvium — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:32:10 -0800

We are moving house on the 24th of November, and going overseas for a week from the 7th of December. Should the cat stay in the new house (with a twice-daily visit from a pet sitter), or should he go to a cattery for the week we're away? Normally we leave the cat at home and get a pet sitter -- he's much happier that way, and it also means there's activity at home while we're away.

But this will be the first time we've moved since having the cat (a male, 3.5-year-old domestic shorthair), and we're wondering whether we should (a) leave him at home, giving him time to settle in and explore his new surroundings, but on his own and without us around (but with a twice-daily visit from a pet sitter he already knows), or (b) put him in a cattery for that week, which would mean another week of upheaval for him but would avoid him being in the new house alone.

I'm more and more tending towards option (a) but am a complete novice in relocating cats, so would particularly appreciate advice from people who've done this sort of thing already!

Help this 外国人 figure out how to get to 日本.

dubitable — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 10:17:38 -0800

Yet another question about moving to Japan. So, I want to move to Japan, ideally by the end of 2010 or beginning of 2011. These are my conditions/skills/attributes:

-(assume I will have) conversational Japanese, including reading and writing. I'd also be interested in hearing what different levels of skill--i.e. "Conversational" vs. "Business"--would enable me to do or limit me to. I'm currently working very aggressively to learn the language, and I'm making noticeable, fast progress. I have the luxury (and obsessive capability) of being able to spend 30+ hours a week on it (not including "passive absorption time"), so I'm confident I will at least be conversational by then--if not by early next year. But I would like to know what the bare minimum is that I can expect to be able to work with, effectively, so I can plan well.

-10+ years as a web developer, currently working at MIT. I don't have any presumption that I'm that much better than any other web dev (although I am damn good, thank you very much) just 'cause I work at MIT, but I'm going to play that up if it would help at all. I also lived in NYC for a number of years and worked at a bunch of start-ups (a work style I'm done with, see below). I'm familiar with a wide variety of technologies, but I'm fairly limited in the Microsoft-platform side of things--my expertise is in all OSS (PHP/Java/and currently Ruby). I also kick most devs' asses with my UNIX sysadmin skills (not that I consider myself a sysadmin, oh great sysadmins of the world). This doesn't begin to cover my full skill set and experience, but I figured it would be enough to get a gist of what I can bring to the table.

-What I'm most interested in knowing: I don't want a crazy job where I work 70 hour weeks regularly. I'm done with that. I'll work hard, but I want a sane(r) work environment. Is this asking too much? Everything I've read about working in Japan says that the tech field is nuts in terms of overtime. I'd rather get paid a little less and work more sane hours but what I've read about the culture of work suggests this may be naive of me.

All that aside, if I have to work like a dog for a short time in order to move to something else that would suit me better, I'd do it...I just don't know what's possible. An alternative way to ask what I'm asking is, are there companies/organizations out there, in Japan, who would be able to use someone like me and have good work environments?

And, one more thing on this note--I'm perfectly comfortable considering a new career path if I can leverage my existent skill set and experience in any way. I've been doing this a while and I'm looking for a change soon anyways. I'm open to out-of-the-box ideas.

-I want to live in a big urban area, which I guess means Osaka or Tokyo? I assume this is just fine, as that's where more of the big companies are?

I'm signed up for the CFN Boston Career Forum this year, and while my Japanese is currently for crap, I figured I might as well go and see what I can find out even still. Does anyone think this would or would not be useful, regardless of my Japanese language ability (at this point)? My simple plan is to go this year, feel things out a bit, and then, assuming I have basic conversational skill, go again next year (2010) and see what is really possible.

I've read these already, and pulled some good stuff out of them:

Some guy moving in Japan
Advice for working in Japan
How difficult is it for a family of three to move to Japan?
"Trailing spouse" experiences moving to Japan?
Tokyo cost of living

Terrie's Job Tips at Daijob.com have been quite useful as well, but I think he has a certain perspective which may not be providing me with the whole picture--I want to try to understand how to find more under the radar, unconventional tech gigs, if possible and if such things exist.

Any advice, help, links, etc. will be greatly appreciated. Thank you AskMeFi Hive Mind!

Relocating to the US, health insurance advice needed!

hibbersk — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:12:36 -0800

I'm relocating to the US (from the UK) in a couple of weeks and having concerns about health insurance. My husband's employer covers health insurance for him, but to cover me as well we must take out the 'family policy' for $500 per month (if we had 4 kids this would be a great deal, but apparently it's the same price for the whole 'family' even if that's just me. This seems crazy to me, not sure if it is normal!). Is my alternative plan crazy? Health insurance companies confuse and scare me! To simplify things, assume that I'll be there for a year, and I will not have a job that includes insurance. I'm on the H4 (nonimmigrant) visa. However the year will be split into chunks where I'll be back in the UK - for example a month from mid-Dec to mid-Jan, a couple of weeks in April, and a few weeks in June/July. So the chunks of time when I'll be in the US will be 2-3 months each.

My idea is to get premier single trip travel insurance through my regular provider STA Travel, for £134 (2 months) to £172 (3 months). The coverage is outlined on the link above and is all quite standard as far as travel insurance goes. The policy is single entry, so I'd buy a policy with each return flight to be covered for all the time I am in the US. This is clearly much better value than the $500/month policy offered through husband's employer. I assume the travel insurance wouldn't cover routine checkups etc and I'm ok with that; I can get those done when I'm back in the UK every few months courtesy of our wonderful NHS. Worst case scenario, the savings we'd make from not going with the $500/month policy would easily cover a flight home for a non-emergency, non-covered but necessary medical consultation. The travel insurance has other benefits too, such as emergency dental treatment (dental isn't covered at all in the employer's policy), legal costs, theft, etc. But I'm also totally paranoid about the US healthcare system, and don't want to be caught out or bend the rules to such an extent that the travel insurance policy wouldn't pay up in an emergency because I'm classed as being a US resident or something, because if insurance companies can find a way not to pay out, they usually do in my experience! So mefites, is this a sensible plan of action or am I missing something?

Pay my mortgage for me while I'm gone.

milinar — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:32:45 -0800

If I move for 6 months to a year, what do I do with my condo? I'm in the los angeles area, but considering relocation to London or NYC next year for work and a change of scenery. The rub is that I'm paying a mortgage on a condo right now. Renting it is problematic because the spare bedroom is used on a regular basis by my parents, who are co-owners of the property. (It is also their temporary residence when/if they need to evacuate because of wildfire, so it needs to be available on short notice.)

What are my options, then? Can you craft an agreement that would require tenants to leave the spare bedroom off-limits? Or does anyone have an experience with something like a short-term rental agency that would handle all the details of renting for a few days at a time?

Thanks in advance!

Moving to the windy city.....

The1andonly — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:46:45 -0800

I am interested in relocating to Chicago (in fact some of the advise I received in metafilter helped me make the decision). The problem I have is that I have never relocated before and will not be able to do so until my lease runs out at the end of January 2010, how do I go about applying for jobs? I am currently a business analyst with 5 years of experience with two of the biggest insurance and financial companies in the U.S. I am willing to pay for my relocation expenses but I am hoping that if a company is willing to interview me they foot the bill on flying me out to Chicago (at least for the interview portion). Additionally I will be visiting Chicago in late November and could interview at that time if a prospective employer desires. These are my questions:

1) How far in advance should I start applying for jobs?
2) Because of the state this economy is in is it reasonable to ask a prospective employee to fly me out to their area if they are interested (or can I tell them that I will be in Chicago in November)?
3) How do I include my situation in a cover letter?

I understand that jobs are tough to come by so if I dont get one I expect to stay in NYC but I am looking for the best way to go about this....Thanks in advance for your advice Mefi!

relocation freakout

ElmerFishpaw — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:37:48 -0800

Got a job in London. Great! My start date was two weeks ago and Im still in Oakland. Not so great. My 'tentative start date' was Monday 8/17. I gave my notice to the old job and set it up so my last day was the previous thursday. All I wanted in between was a three day weekend. I filled out some Visa papers sent by my future employer and thought I was all done with paperwork before my last day of the old job. During my 3 day weekend they email me with a lot more Visa paperwork. Then an appointment for biometrics test (the following week!) and instructions to mail my passport and biometrics results to the British Consulate in LA. (Shouldnt they have had me do this 2 months ago when I landed the job?) So currently my passport and other materials are down in LA awaiting approval so they can be shipped back to me. And I wait...

All the while Im living out of my suitcase, sleeping on a friend's floor because I moved out of my apartment, going stir crazy and my bank account is emptying and I have no idea when I'll get my passport back. I dont want to start off on the wrong foot, demanding compensation from these people but I mean, what the hell?

So the questions are:
1) Had experience with this sort of situation? Is this typical? Is it just my boredom from unemployment making the weeks seem longer and I should just take a chill pill?
2) Would I be out of line asking for money due to the delay if it continues?
3) How exactly should I word such a request?

From Austin to Spring, Texas. How to stay sane.

bodywithoutorgans — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:09:39 -0800

After 7 glorious years in Austin, I have been demoted to relocating to Spring, Texas for a job. After a few days of getting the lay of the land, I am very disappointed. How do I stay sane? If distance makes the heart grow fonder, I now realize the dearth of coffee shops, independently owned businesses, ecological consciousness, artists, and general quirkiness in Spring only confirms my love for Austin.

To get a feel for my personality, I am a mid-20s male who enjoys art installations, large libraries, experimental music, and social theory. The brutal compulsion of the economic has forced me to get a "real job" and move to a suburb dominated by god, country, and guns.

So:
1) I know that I am 20 miles north of Downtown Houston. I have taken a look at this thread for suggestions on interesting things in Houston. Can one suggest interesting venues for my personality type in Houston? For example, the Nameless Sound collective is something I could get excited about.

2) Would it be a better idea to commute 20 miles to work from Downtown Houston instead of living in Spring itself?

3) How does one maintain one's individualism in a deeply conformist community? More specifically, how does one make friends in Spring Texas. I've got Metafilter for esoterica and email to keep in touch with my Austin friends but I'm missing the physicality of meatspace.

4) Does Spring have any secret gems that I've overlooked? Or is it Starbucks Starbucks Starbucks all the way down?

Please help Hivemind!

Making a new city out of an old city

carbide — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:19:31 -0800

I'm about to move back to my hometown for two years, and would like to try living as if it's a new city instead of slipping back into my old life there. Any thoughts? I've spent the past 14 months living in a town in the west of Ireland, and I'm moving back to Dublin at the start of September to finish off my last two years of architecture school.

My life here has been really, really good - I moved for a job which worked out extremely well, I made great friends and acquaintances, and I've been learning like crazy, spending less and being outdoors more. I'm going to be very sad to leave but have accepted it.

Thing is, I'd love to be going off to a third place, a new city or town. I liked getting to make new friends, and I have relatively little interest in going back to the same social groups and events I left behind, having had the benefit of some distance from which to view them. The world in general seems big and exciting, while that world seems small and inward-looking.

I am trying to approach the move positively, to see if I can make Dublin act as this third, new place. I'd like to get to know new people, to explore some of the other cities within the city, and am debating ways of doing this - either pursuing a different interest socially, or maybe through architecture stuff.

In the interest of brevity (ha!):
- I don't intend to cut off contact with individual friends or family, but I would like new friends
- I'm not about to try transforming myself, just maybe changing the weight of which interests I follow socially and which I enjoy by myself/on headphones/on paper
- I am going to be busy as hell with school, so meeting people through volunteering/work isn't a runner
- Erasmus or study abroad programmes are out, as I fluffed the application deadline while debating whether to return to school
- I can't transfer to another school, and I'm not going to take another year off
- I'll most likely be living alone, am single, and don't have kids
- I've only visited Dublin a few times in the 14 months, and will be returning less than a week before school starts

Any advice? Have you tried anything like this? How would you do it? Is there an inevitability about moving back somewhere and ending up in the same places, with the same people as before?

Love it or leave it

TheOtherSide — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:07:32 -0800

Which countries are easiest for a US citizen to move to permanently? Within the next 15 years I'd like to retire from my current career and start another. At that time I would consider moving from the US, and if I do that, I'd like to purchase some real-estate ahead of time.

I'm not a nationalist. Although I have strong preferences toward the US bill of rights, I'd like to reside within a population that follows the spirit of that bill, rather than the marketing. In general, I find the US population lacking in spirit toward ideas of freedom and access. But, honestly, I have no other experiences to which to compare the US.

Which countries should I research further or keep on my hot list? Which ones, in 10-15 years, would likely be willing to take in a liberal, single, middle-aged male with a BS or MS in science and a teen-aged child? Which countries will likely be the beacons of liberty and individual rights of the future?

I'm also interested in alternative fuels and populations of people who seriously understand the needs of renewable energy as part of future economies.

Which of those countries would be easiest for a US citizen to migrate to? Or, how would I best prepare myself over the next decade to increase my chances?

Cats on a plane?

sesquipedalian — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:25:01 -0800

Help me move two cats across the US. I need to move two cats (and myself) from San Francisco to Washington, D.C. What's the best way to do this?

I've moved single cats across the country before, by air in the cabin. But all the airlines that I've called won't let me carry on two cats if I'm flying alone, even if I buy a second seat.

I've moved two cats by car before, but this time around I don't think I can afford the travel time.

Am I stuck with shipping them as air cargo? Any other ideas?

Searching for a non fiction book about a move to Ireland which turned out badly.

Tullyogallaghan — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:27:50 -0800

I'm trying to track down a book which was written in the last 25 years (or so) about an American couple who inherited a house in the west of Ireland. The culture shock and concomitant problems involved with relocation, the house, the weather the people, etc. almost brings them to the point of divorce with each blaming the other for the decision to move. I've searched high and low but could only come up with a similar tome about an Australian couple. Thanks very much for any help.

Should we buy our next car in Oregon or Colorado?

diastematic — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:03:29 -0800

We're planning to move from Oregon to Colorado. We also plan to buy a new car soon. Should we buy it in Oregon (no sales tax) or just wait til we get to Colorado? If we do buy here in Oregon, I know Colorado will ding us when we register our new car there. But would that ding be as costly as simply paying sales tax on a new car purchase there? Thanks.

How Do I Sell My Wife on Moving to Connecticut?

Oso Mocoso — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 14:25:28 -0800

I got a sweet job in a town near New Haven, Connecticut. I'd been looking for work for about six months prior in California and I got nothing promising at all. So, when I got an offer in New England, I took it. The problem is this - my wife does not want to move to the east coast. I'm the bread-winner, so she'll go but I'm trying really hard to sell her on Connecticut as a cool place to live. Can anyone think of things to try to help me talk up Connecticut? Stuff I've already thought of: proximity to New York City and to Boston (where my wife has a few friends), good seafood, and presence of distinct seasonal weather (maybe also kind of a negative).

Wife's Interests: a good Asian grocery store would be something she'd love to hear about, anime/manga stores, a Sanrio outlet, and that sort of thing. She loves art museums. She's a big fan of Food Network. I know all of these things exist in New York City not far away, but that's an hour and a half away on a train, not where we'll be living.

Connecticut MeFi people, what do you think is awesome about this state?

Venice or Rome?

batcrazy — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:10:40 -0800

Venice or Rome? A friend of mine, her spouse, and dog have the option of moving overseas for his job. His company is giving them two choices - Venice or Rome. I loved my stay in Italy, but I was in Florence, which doesn't help them much in choosing which city they would prefer. Which would you choose and why (bonus points for having actually lived in one place or the other)?

Particular things that may be factors in their decision:
* Ex-pats that live the area (for when you miss home)
* Number of English speakers (my friend doesn't speak Italian, so until she learns, being able to get by without it will be useful).
* Work opportunities. My friend isn't going to be able to transfer her job overseas, so finding some opportunity to stay busy (provided it's legal to do so) may be nice.
* Dog-sitting services/dog friendliness. They will be bringing their 70 lb American Bulldog with them.
* Friendliness of people--they'll be starting over socially, so how easy will it be to meet/befriend other 30-something childless couples?
* Travel opportunities - is it easier to visit Europe flying out from Rome or driving from Venice/flying from Milan?
* Character of the cities -- they are LA/NY/DC people, so is living in a smaller city like Venice going to be too slow-paced/boring for them?

Any other bits of advice are welcome too. Thanks in advance

How can I come to grips with my persistent desire to move?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 08:28:21 -0800

How can I come to grips with my persistent desire to move? I’ve lived in Baltimore for nearly ten years. I’d like to move to a smaller, warmer city, ideally Durham, NC, where my wife and I attended college and first met. She does not want to move and has an objectively compelling argument for wanting to stay. I cannot seem to set aside my dissatisfaction with living here, and I’d like your advice on how to deal constructively with this urge.

With apologies for the length of the post, here is the situation:

My wife really, really likes living here. She likes the size of the city. She likes her job, which is in a quasi-academic field and has low pay but good benefits and what should be a better-than-average ability to withstand the recession. She likes our neighborhood elementary school, as does our child who currently attends that school. She likes the day care for our younger child. She likes being within 30-60 minutes of her mother and my parents. She likes our church. She likes no longer living in the southern U.S. after having lived there her whole life through college. She even likes the crab cakes.

My dissatisfaction stems from my persistent and growing dislike for Baltimore. Simply put, I’m tired of living here and tired of reading about, and trying to grapple with, with the city’s problems on a daily basis. The drugs, the crime, the poverty, the schools, the bleak winters, the large size of the city (for this guy who grew up in a small town)… the negatives have built to the point that I simply do not want to live here any longer. I can't turn a blind eye to the many problems here, and the intractability of the social issues coupled with my dislike for living in the city itself is wearing heavily on me.

I don’t like to complain without making a good-faith effort to make a difference, and I’ve therefore gotten involved in efforts through my neighborhood association, church and employer to improve matters in the city. Our church is part of a network of churches that support homeless families, for example, and I’ve volunteered to help with that effort. There are also things about living in Baltimore that I do like, particularly the museums and the libraries. Despite my best efforts to stay involved, to volunteer and to do what I can in general to be a good citizen, I find myself depressed by the scope of the city’s problems and increasingly feeling trapped in a place I do not like.

Durham appeals to me for its familiarity, our good friends of long-standing who are in the Triangle area, its better weather, its smaller size, its relatively liberal culture (in the context of the South), the proximity of the large universities in the Triangle, its cultural opportunities, and, last but not least, its cheaper housing. I just feel that life there would be easier than it is here. Our commutes would likely be shorter, our mortgage cheaper, the pace of life slower, and I have every confidence that we could move to a high-quality school district for our kids.

I’d like to think I’m pretty realistic, and I wouldn’t expect to move right away (given the economy), or expect Durham to be perfect. On balance, though, I think I, personally, would be happier there. I suspect it would be a good move for my wife and kids, too, although it’s always tricky to weigh the pros and cons of a decision like this, when we can project into the future much more easily the pros and cons of a place that we know well versus one we don’t know as well. I’m not wedded to Durham, in particular, but it does seem to have much of what I would like.

Housing is another issue - an ancillary issue to larger one, but still a concern. We live in a house in what is considered a very desirable inner-ring suburb, one that is mere blocks from the city line. We bought a now-80-year-old house about eight years ago and a primary consideration was the school district, even though we bought before we had kids.

Our neighborhood may be considered prestigious, but that means little to me. I look at our house and see an attractive house from the exterior, but one that lacks a lot of amenities. We’re planning to remodel the basement and install central air conditioning, and the cost of doing so, while large and nerve-wracking in this current economy, isn’t the main objection for me; it’s the fact that we’ll be spending big bucks to fix up a house I’m not wild about, in a city that I don’t like.

I’m deeply troubled by my inability to discuss this desire to leave Baltimore with my wife in any rational way. Her response tends to be along the lines of, “I really like it here, so why move?” That sort of response trivializes my very real concerns about living here and doesn’t leave much room for a discussion. On the other hand, she's been abundantly clear about her feelings on the matter, and it seems rude and perhaps even disrespectful of me to keep bringing up the subject.

I’m also troubled by what, from my perspective, looks like a perfectly rational desire to move, but which, on the other hand, looks to my wife (and sometimes to me) like an escape into fantasy or a retreat from confronting the realities of daily life. I’m a reasonably competent person. I’ve changed jobs when appropriate, and each new job has suited me better than the one before. I’ve run a marathon, obtained professional certifications, and achieved other things by setting goals and working hard. I try to be active in my community. I've tried pretty hard to make a go of it here. And yet, I have an unrequited desire to leave Baltimore.

Trying to look at this objectively, I have:

- a spouse who adamantly does not want to move;
- nearby parents;
- a house, notwithstanding its shortcomings, in an area that has retained property values and which is in a good school system;
- happy, healthy children;
- a church I like; and
- a job and co-workers that, generally speaking, I like (though not to the same extent as my wife).

There are many times I feel ashamed or selfish to even think of moving and that I should count my blessings and make my peace with living here. While there are times that I can suppress my feelings to some degree, though, my growing dislike for living here always seems to re-surface sooner or later.

If anyone’s made the move I’ve been contemplating, I’d be interested in your specific thoughts. I’m more interested, however, in anyone’s advice regarding how I should proceed from here. Should I suck it up and keep trying to focus on the things I do like about living here? Should I consider therapy, either alone or with my wife? Does this persistent, constant desire to move strike you as normal, or as unhealthy and counterproductive? I’m amenable to any and all evaluations of my situation and suggestions as to how I can deal with this situation. Throwaway e-mail for anyone who’d prefer not to post: stuckinbaltimore@gmail.com.

Temporary residence in Kitchener/Waterloo Ontario?

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 08:36:16 -0800

Need to find affordable temporary residence (about 8 months or so) in the Kitchener/Waterloo area. Any ideas? My wife and I live downtown Toronto. She has just been offered a position in the Waterloo area that is too good to pass up. We own a home right now, and do not want to sell right away, as we want to see how the job goes, as well as see how the housing market fairs. Can anyone suggest where we can find affordable accommodations, in a good area? Bonus for places that are furnished and do not require a lease (we will be staying there Mon-friday and coming home for the weekend). Also, any tips on how to handle relocation would help!

Family friendly neighborhoods for UW grad student?

mrmojoflying — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 12:43:28 -0800

Where's the perfect place for us to live in Madison, Wisconsin? We're planning this from afar, and having done that once before already, we're trying to go about it a little smarter this time. Reality checks welcome. Details inside. My wife has accepted an offer of admission to a graduate program at UW Madison. It's a unique opportunity for her (and she moved with me for grad school to Louisville) so we're moving to Madison this fall. AskMe has already covered our questions about the cultural aspects of Madison pretty well, but we're planning this move with likely only a short visit sometime in late March or early April before we relocate the last week in July.

Please help us make our planning time in the city as useful as possible. Most importantly, what neighborhoods should we be looking at as we plan? The specifics are that we have a toddler (and a small doggie), so public safety is a priority. We're frugal, but need a decently sized two bedroom, and will probably be looking in the $700/m to $750/m range.

We will have one car, so the neighborhood needs to be relatively well connected to the university by public transit; within 4-5 miles would also be nice, if possible. The neighborhood doesn't need to be bohemian, gentrified, trendy or demonstrate any other aspect of cultural eliteness that we can't afford on a student budget. Accessible, pedestrian safe, and relatively affordable will suit us just fine.

Would a Canadian really want to emigrate?

brandnew — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 16:18:33 -0800

About how many people emigrate from each developed nation annually, and what are the common reasons for doing so? Are there any online resources or databases that track the number of people that emigrate from one developed nation to another? I'm also looking for the reasons why, both anecdotal and categorical. I assume that a lot of them are emigrating for marriage, political, or professional reasons, but I'd like to know more about their reasons in depth. I'm seeking to understand why they do it, but also the overall outcome of their experiences: were they generally positive, negative, or neutral? Was the emigration worth the effort in the end? Also are there any developed nations where immigration is easier (from US, in particular)?

Top ten reasons to live in Muncie (other than Letterman jokes)

joe vrrr — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:28:28 -0800

What's to like about Muncie, Indiana? For better or worse, I have an attractive job opportunity in Muncie, Indiana. As a lifelong east coast liberal (mid-Atlantic, college-town variety), I'm concerned about moving there.

Culture? Diversity? Cost of living? Food? What have you dear Muncie?

New Hometown?

sarabeth — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:24:20 -0800

Where should I move? I'm finishing up grad school and searching for my first job. My intention has been (and is still) to settle in the Seattle area, but I'm curious about alternate suggestions, because it's good to have a Plan B. I searched AskMe for similar questions, and while people have asked related questions before, my parameters are a bit different, so here goes.

What I'm looking for:

- Totally flexible on town/city size, but I am interested in having plenty of art/cultural amenities available or very nearby, especially where live music and touring bands are concerned. Museums are a plus, as is the presence of an academic community.
- I love going out to try new restaurants, and the availability of a decent variety of ethnic places/types of cuisine is a very good thing. I also love to cook at home, and would appreciate having access to a local farmers' market.
- Other things on my list: good bookstores, art/independent movie theaters, record stores, cafes, quality craft shops, parks and green spaces.
- Bikeability, walkability, and decent public transportation are giant pluses.
- The presence of other young/young-ish, friendly people would be a big advantage. It would, obviously, be nice to meet new friends.

I've lived all over the country, and I'm pretty open as to location and climate. I'm looking for suggestions beyond Portland and San Francisco. Thank you all very much in advance! Let me know if I can clarify or elaborate on anything.