Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with relaxation

Seeking guided relaxation / meditation cd's / podcasts.

mola — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:52:48 -0800

Seeking guided relaxation / meditation cd's / podcasts. I've been suffering from anxiety and insomnia lately, and want to get back to normal. The cd's I've tried so far are The Mental Medicine Collection (Sacred Moment and Sleep Ease, both with Pakvilai Sudhaswin), The Calming Collection (Sleep Solutions, with Roberta Shapiro), and Living Meditation (with David Harshada Wagner).

The ones intended specifically for sleep seem best so far. I do not want any religious-specific cd's.

Help normalize my spiking blood pressure!

rachaelfaith — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:54:25 -0800

Can you help me not freak out about my suddenly spiking blood pressure? This is related to birth control and anxiety. Also looking for methods to calm myself down in anticipation of a reading. Some history: Have not had any indication of high blood pressure since I started taking birth control 5 years ago- I typically register in at 120/80. I was on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo for 3 years and switched to Yaz 2 years ago after some ovarian cysts showed up.

I used to be overweight but lost 45 pounds and am now at what I believe to be a relatively healthy weight [about 5'3", 137 lbs]. I do not smoke and I don't consume caffeine. I don't have a stellar diet, but I try to keep an eye on my sodium intake. I work out around 3 times a week, though college classes are taking a toll on my consistency.

I have had a history of anxiety for just about forever. Panic attacks, avoidance, social anxiety, health anxiety, and so on.

Went to my OB-GYN yesterday for a regular pap and pelvic, they were about to renew my birth control scrip when they mentioned my blood pressure was too high- about 130/89. They waited about 10 minutes and took it again- even higher, because I was nervous. Now I'm told I have to get it retaken elsewhere before I am given the scrip to prove it's not prehypertension or higher.

Of course, I'm now freaking out [over the possibility of HBP, over possibly not being able to obtain my birth control] and my heart's been racing ever since. I took one measure at home of my blood pressure and it was really quite high- something ridiculous like 144/89.

Now I fear that I will not be able to calm myself down enough to get back to normal, much less when I go for an official reading.

Is there any reason my BP would jump so high in a one-month period since my last normal reading? Besides deep breathing, how else can I calm myself down in order to obtain a neutral reading?

Yaaargh. Help!

Survival Tips for a New High School Teacher?

airguitar2 — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 09:42:00 -0800

Help: I am a first year high school teacher. I'm a month into my first year teaching high school English, and while I love the kids and my colleagues, and have had some great classes, many days leave me feeling ground to a mushy pulp and barely able to dial the pizza delivery number when I get home.

Any tips on the following would be much appreciated:

How do I manage my time and energy to as not to be totally exhausted?

How can I manage my energy in the classroom so as to sustain some level of energy all day long?

What can I do to *completely* recharge on the weekends? I'm thinking about getting a massage today.

Any general tips for making things easier on myself?

I'm trying to do my lesson planning at school, so my time is my own when I get home, but I'm often so worn down that all I can do in my "off time" is lie on the couch or take a bath. Everyone says it gets easier, but what can I do to survive this first year?

CAN YOU TELL HOW INTENSELY WORRIED I AM ABOUT THESE ISSUES (tears out hair)

prefpara — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:04:11 -0800

A question about how to calm down. I am having a lot of trouble formulating this question, so forgive me if it's a little bit all over the place. Dear Metafilter. Thanks in advance for your help & patience. I can't figure out how to ask this question, so let me just describe the problem I am having as I experience it.

Basically, I am a stress basket. Everything stresses me out. Most of all, interpersonal stuff makes me nuts. I overthink a lot of my social interactions, and it's really hard for me to let go if I think I've annoyed or offended someone.

In the past, when I have been in a good relationship, spending time with my boyfriend would be a strong antidote. He made me feel completely accepted, warts and stress and all. However, being single has not led to any discovery of an analogous de-stress mechanism (except I like hot baths, but this is impossible in my apartment). So I get wound up, and can’t wind down. The more stressed and upset I get, the more affected I am by things which are, in the big picture, not so important.

I think I am driving everyone around me crazy because I am always at a 10 on the emotional intensity scale. I am not the relaxed, comfortable, easy-to-be-around person I’d like to be. I don’t want to be this stressed all the time.

I guess I am asking how I can relax when I don’t have my family or a boyfriend around to make me feel accepted and OK with who I am. I am working on being my own best friend and loving myself as I am, but it doesn’t work all the time (should I just accept that this is a process, it takes time, and I need to give myself permission to get there slowly?). Especially when I feel criticized or rejected by my friends.

I welcome your thoughts and advice. Especially if you can think of a way for me to take a hot bath in NYC without owning a usable bathtub. How do I relax? How do I envelop myself in loving acceptance when there isn’t someone else to do it for me?

Need to de-stress quick

reenum — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:24:39 -0800

I need to relax. Badly. Suggestions? I have had an epically horrific week at work. Everything that could have gone wrong did. All of the worst people called and acted like the asses they are. My phone was ringing non-stop. My stress level is through the roof right now.

So, I've decided to take Monday off. Any ideas as to what I can do to de-stress so I can come back strong on Tuesday?

cigarettes:gum::internet:???

fermion — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:20:54 -0800

What can I do for a mental break besides surf the Internet? I'm a graduate student. Writing papers, researching, working problem sets and other grad-student-ly activities can be a bit fatiguing to the brain, requiring the occasional mental break to refresh the mind and re-set thought patterns that may have got into a rut.

Since I do most of my work on the computer, the natural thing to do when I want to take a break is to surf the Web. But inevitably, one link leads to another and I look up from my "five-minute break" to discover that half an hour has passed. Programs like LeechBlock have helped a little, but for me Web sites are like potato chips: I can't visit just one. Once I've begun it's difficult to stop.

So I need something to use as a mental break that, unlike Web surfing, is self-limiting. Something that I can do for five minutes that won't create such irresistible temptation to keep doing it, that will leave my brain refreshed and focused. Please help me replace this bad habit with a better one!

No more two or three whiskey sodas or glasses of wine.

2or3whiskeysodas — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:11:48 -0800

Replacement for that lovely "brain: shut off" feeling one gets from drinking at the end of a long day? Certainly this must be the most eponysterical question in the history of AskMe.

I've been on the wagon for about five days now and for the most part it has been nice. Getting great sleep, feeling generally focused and relaxed, being mindful of those pointy, "Hey, let's DRINK!" urges that come along every so often. Mind you, I don't consider myself an alcoholic and haven't decided whether or not I'm going to be a lifelong teetotaler. Maybe, maybe not, we'll see. But a many-months-long wagon trip was called for and for now, it's good.

Yesterday, though, I had one of those 16-hour days that kicked my ass pretty hard and wanted nothing more than to chuck it all out the window and get a shot or two in me. My sense of commitment overcame, but it led me to realize that none of the various relaxation techniques I've read about are going to provide that instantaneous sense of shutdown and departure from the world that a stiff drink or four did. Bummer.

So I suspect that this will get easier with time, but until then, what do you MeFites, former drinkers or otherwise, do when you just want your brain to immediately unspool, stfu and just lay there for a little while? Bad movies? The dishes? Ms. Pac Man? Digg? What?

I am a regular AM exerciser and a PM meditator. My life is pretty stable and not too stressful by and large. I just need to really disconnect the old brain every once in a while.

Complete and utter relaxation, how to find

frobozz — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:01:47 -0800

I want to take a bath...but I can't. Relaxing alternative suggestions? This is probably a silly question...but: for several years I've lived in an apartment that has only a shower stall. There are times when I come home tired or sore or discontented and feel the need to lie down in a bathtub and be all hot and steamy and relaxed but I can't. Sitting in the shower stall with hot water running on me for a few minutes is nice in its way, I guess, but still a poor alternative. What are other things I can do to create the feeling of near-complete relaxation that you (or I, anyway) can get from a nice hot bath?

Under Pressure

philosophistry — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:39:26 -0800

How do stop feeling like I'm under pressure all the time? Ever since, let's say 1996 (when I entered High School), I've felt an enormous pressure to get things done. From trying to do well in school, to getting into college, to getting good jobs, etc. Anything I set my mind to, I can't help but feel like I should be doing a billion things to get there.

At one point, it got so bad that I burned out from working too hard. Since then, I've managed to keep my work-level reasonable. But I still find myself frothing with an angst to keep pushing myself. It makes it really hard for me to relax and just read a novel, or something.

I have relaxation techniques, but it's a constant struggle. After a relaxation stretch, I feel hungry again. I think it feels the worst when I'm driving or walking somewhere, because then all the thoughts of "do this, do this, you have to do this, you can't let this go" come creeping in.

How do I get through a terrible vacation without a meltdown?

Anonymous — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:33:20 -0800

How do I de-stress during and after an awful, expensive vacation? I am in the midst of a disappointing, stressful vacation and will be returning in a couple of days to my stressful, low-paying job. The breaking point is near. Help it to not happen. I originally went on this vacation with the anticipation of having an excellent time visiting good friends I haven't seen in a while. I was also looking forward to a much-needed break from my job.

But as the departure date grew closer, I began to have second thoughts. It became apparent during the planning process we'd mostly be doing activities I find uninteresting at best, stressful at worst, and attempts to suggest other activities were ignored. It looked like the vacation was going to be a good deal more expensive than I could afford, and I felt the friends I'd be visiting have changed in a such a way that we'd no longer connect as we once did.

But my travel partners (including my significant other) encouraged me to not bail out and promised it would be great, and so I came along anyway. My gut instinct has unfortunately been pretty much right on track. I don't even want to call what I'm on right now a vacation, because "vacation" implies a degree of relaxation I'm not even close to experiencing right now. I'm stressed from doing lots of activities that I hate and are way, way too expensive for my budget. It feels like I'm experiencing all of the stress of my day-to-day life, only without the opportunity to engage in the hobbies that relax me, and with the extra kick of losing money instead of earning it (I have an hourly job). I skirt the poverty line, so the money issue is a big one.

It does not help that this would have been my first real, no-strings-attached vacation in many, many years, and due to money, job, and school issues there won't be another one for a relatively long time.

I can't simply bail on the expensive, awful activities, as everyone else really wants to do them and me sitting at the hotel or going off on my own would lead to bad feelings all around. When I have made the suggestion of doing something like that the reaction has been bad enough that I worry there would be some tremendous melt-downs if I actually went through with it.

And yet I'm having trouble hiding the fact that I'm upset at myself for not initially standing my ground and not going and upset at my friends and significant other for badgering and guilt-tripping me into coming here. The vacation is not over yet. I need a way to get through the rest of it, and then get back into the super-stressful job and devastated finances without completely exploding from disappointment and rage. How can I make the best of this?

From Geneva to boozy waterside oblivion?

uandt — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:19:26 -0800

Going for quick stop at FENS meeting in Geneva early July and thinking about doing some vacation time after that. Where should I go? Thinking of booking the return ticket from different city, take train or bus from Geneva and hang out at some reasonably quiet place.

A good vacation day would be walking around/hiking interrupted by beer drinking and book reading. Taking a swim once and then would be nice and that maybe rules out the alps as a destination.

I won't rent a car. Essentially I'm backpacking but I have money.

Websites and companies that offer cheap weekly vacation rentals in LA area

dannon205 — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:51:10 -0800

What are some good sites or companies to find cheap LA weekly vacation rentals? I'm looking to vacation in the LA area in April for 9 days and 8 nights. I'd be much more comfortable in an apt or small house than I would be in a hotel room. I first started looking at hotels, but even the cheapest hotels in decent neighborhoods come out to about $750. I'd like to pay about $500 (w/ all cleaning fees etc included) for a rental. I don't mind paying a refundable deposit.

I've been looking at craigslist, but about 95% of the rentals are for mansions, mini-mansions, and penthouses in the swankiest parts of town. Are there any good websites or companies that anyone knows of that might have some rentals in my price range that are in decent neighborhoods, but not a bel air mansion? Also, do you guys know of any companies that are willing to negotiate the price?

Stressed, only one week into term.

flibbertigibbet — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:37:55 -0800

I burst into tears in front of a professor today. I need to learn how to relax. Please help. This question was spurred on by two things: my friends agreeing that I never relax, and me bursting into tears in front of a prof today. It's exactly one week into term, and last term I wasn't anything like this.

I have high standards for myself. This is especially true academically, as I'm short on money, high on scholarships, and low on any desire to go into debt before I get to grad school. I've managed to keep the scholarships, even though I'm in the second semester of second year and should have statistically lost it three times over by now. These scholarships have high GPA requirements to keep (A average, or around 90% -- apparently, this is somewhere around a 4.0 in US college terms??). Because of a lot of program switches on my part, and the fact that my scholarships have an 'end date,' after which further renewal isn't possible, I need to take 6 classes a semester, when the normal amount is 5. I work only an average of 10 hours a week for the first month of each term (regularly scheduled university-related temp job; it works out to around 5 days a week for the first two weeks, then a sharp drop in shifts). The job's only for the first month, so it's really fine. Plus, it's fun, and a great environment.

Because of slightly overbearing parents, I have a curfew so tight that it's almost impossible to be with friends after dark--which is usually the only time they are free. Same goes with university clubs/social groups/etc. This usually means that I spend about 1.5 to 3 hours a week with (or talking to) friends, if I see any at all. I'm mostly fine with this, although I wish I could spend more time hanging out, or on my hobbies (mainly photography, but I'm barely allowed to leave the house with the camera for risk of damage/theft/etc).

I also feel that I'm socially awkward, so I have to admit that I DO get really tense in social situations. This means that even if I'm out with friends, unless it's with a group I know well, I don't relax.

Also, my upper back is apparently as tight as a vice. My friends use this as proof that I never relax; I use it as proof that I have big boobs and heavy backpacks and simply don't sit straight (cause, well, it hurts to, and no AskMe is complete without a self-reinforcing behaviour pattern... or, in my case, five). Plus, my job is essentially lifting and carrying textbooks, which doesn't help. Damn you, organic chemistry books with molecule kits.

What I don't get is why this is happening now. Nothing has changed since last term, except that I may get to see friends for an extra hour and a half per week this term because of a lucky scheduling combination, and that my sister is really stressed out about her long list of work.

I just feel all overwhelmed (new!) and lonely (not at all new) and such, which is stressing me out and preventing me from relaxing (maybe new), making me into an emotional wreck (new!).

Do you have any suggestions?

Looking for paradise in Thailand

Brittanie — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:36:39 -0800

Traveling to Thailand, but we don't want to relive "The Beach." My husband and I would like to spend a week or so in Thailand but we have no idea where to go. A friend recommended Ko Samui, but internet searches reveal terms like "full moon parties", "plenty of nightlife" "a row of bars near the Pizza Hut." With respect, the last thing we want to do on vacation is be surrounded by a bunch of drunken expats fulfilling their Hollywood backpacker fantasies. Here's what we *would* like to do, in order of importance:

— Scuba diving. This is the number one reason we're going.
— Laying on the beach/a balcony/porch/deck. That's it. Just relaxing. Maybe with a book in hand.
— Hiking through the jungle. Bonus points if there is wildlife or waterfalls.
— I'd like to see a native dance performance.
— I'd also like to see and maybe ride on some elephants, but I want to be sure the animals are well treated.
— Tasty cuisine and other cultural goodies (temples, etc.)
— Maybe go to a spa

Our accommodation budget is around $100 a night but that's very flexible. I've searched the "Thailand" tag but most of the questions involve teaching in Thailand or travel to Bangkok. I've tried Google but it's annoying trying to wade through all the advertising just to get to decent reviews.

Stress Relief for the Time-Poor

Andrhia — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 07:41:23 -0800

Got any quick, cheap, effective stress-reduction tips? Yeah, so I've been getting these headaches. Three-day critters, and if I'm lucky I get a whole day before the next one starts up. I think in the last month I've had about four headache-free days. (Yes, I have made an appointment with a neurologist.)

I work full-time, and I have two little kids (5 years and 10 months old). Since the beginning of the year, I've had surgery, been laid off, and started a new job. I'm still breastfeeding and plan to continue for some time, so pharmacological solutions are mostly out (and the baby is still night-waking, so I don't get quite enough sleep). Between all of my various obligations, it's really hard for me to carve out a big chunk of time to go to a yoga or aikido class (or, heck, take a nap).

As you have certainly guessed, I am confident that stress is one of my contributing headache triggers, so... how do I become less stressed? No, really, don't laugh. Anything I can do in 10-minute chunks that might significantly help me? Or can you think of any changes I can probably make to my lifestyle?

Sensory Relaxation Techniques: Incense etc?

l33tpolicywonk — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:16:00 -0800

Looking for a new kind of relaxation technique. I'm thinking something sensory, no drugs or tobacco. I thought first of incense. A) What's your experience with using incense to relax? B) Is there anything that provides a similar experience? More parameters inside. A few more clarifying thoughts:
1) I generally do a lot of walking during the day, plugged into audio. I'm sure as a method of exercise that helps.
2) My podcast feeds keeps me with a healthy daily supply of audio to listen to and video to watch. I'm almost looking for a sensory experience to supplement that.
3) Alcohol, drugs and tobacco are all no-nos.
4) I'm a college student and so something cheap is preferred.
5) My first thought was incense. While dorm living is not kosher with incense, I might be willing to overlook that. For those of you who have used / used incense, what has your experience been like? What kinds of people take well to incense? Is there any way to use incense with minimal exposure to an open flame (I realize some of that is required)?
6) Are there any other experiences like using incense that might give the same kind of simple smell / taste experience I'm looking for?

I've read other threads. None really describe the experience of using incense for the unconverted. Thanks everybody.

Good times in D.C.

buddha9090 — Thu, 17 May 2007 19:19:47 -0800

Any suggestions for a fun, relaxing time with my future in-laws in the Washington, D.C. area this weekend? My fiance's parents are coming in town this weekend. Last weekend was their son's wedding, so they are a bit tired and could use some relaxation. Any ideas for activities? They aren't much for the outdoors/hiking thing, and not that interested in the monuments or historic Virginia. They are from Florida, enjoy a good time. They've talked about the possibility of going gambling in Atlantic City. Any gambling spots closer to D.C.? Any ideas for a day spa in the area? Many thanks.

After a tough day, what can I do to get back in the mood to do more work?

lunchbox — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 00:22:13 -0800

After a tough day, what can I do to get back in the mood to do more work? Scenario: It's a busy college day and I have a bunch of deadlines looming. I arrive back to my room after finishing something strenuous (say, an exam or a day of classes), but I am too mentally exhausted to begin working again. Even if I try to begin working, I am incapable of doing it, and my mind wanders. What can I do to get that feeling of "OK, now I'm ready to get back to work" fairly quickly?

Recently, I have been surfing the web, playing video games, watching TV, and listening to music, but I find that I can often do these activities for a long time without actually feeling replenished.

What activities get people here restored and ready to work again? I know this will vary incredibly from person to person, but I'm interested to hear ideas. I'm planning to try jogging, taking naps, or just lying down and clearing my head. Any other things to try out?

A place to put my feet up in Portland

bargex — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 15:14:46 -0800

Good place to sit and read for a day in Portland? I'm looking for a nice coffee shop to camp out in on my days off from work in Portland. My schedule is kind of random, so some weeks I'll have regular weekends, and some weeks I'll work randomly. I'll be here on and off for the next six months, so I don't anticipate making friends, but I'd rather not sit alone in the hotel on my days off. Where can I bring a book to relax?

Help a frazzled chic find a place to chill.

psususe — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:28:51 -0800

I have been told by many (including boss) I need to take a vacation...so I am looking for somewhere to go this wknd...within a 3-4 hr drive of DC area where I can relax and not spend a ton of cash either. I am a 30-something female who likes a little bit of everything (not a nature nut, but I appreciate it, same with museums.) I need to go this wknd as I will probably be shipped off overseas on a project in a couple of weeks for the rest of the year. Any cool Yoga places like Kripalu below the Mason-Dixon?

Finding that not-a-home within a home

schroedinger — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 07:30:52 -0800

I have the last three weeks in August to get away from it all. The caveat: I have little money and minimal transportation. What now? I live in Baltimore. My job ends August 7th, school doesn't start until the beginning of September. This gives me three weeks to unwind and refocus. I'd like to spend some time visiting friends in Michigan (which will take a good chunk of my minimal funds), but I also want to be alone for a while. Camping, or an extended road trip, something that gets me away from people entirely. But I haven't got a car, and as far as I know there aren't any real campgrounds accessible by public transportation or within a reasonable driving distance.

Does anyone have any suggestions of where one can camp for an extended period of time in the Baltimore area? If not, any creative, cheap ideas for how to get away when you're at home (more than just taking a day to yourself)? Staying home is not a preferable option, since I live with good friends (nothing against them, I just need a break from everything).

Note: I have taken Greyhound bus trips before, and they didn't offer the solitude I'm looking for.

In search of a natural high

Anonymous — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 06:12:53 -0800

Help me kick the green, sticky stuff. I’m currently in talk therapy and on Lexapro for anxiety and OCD (Pure O). Years before I found the terrific therapist I’m currently with and before I started taking Lexapro, I used marijuana as self-medication for my anxiety and OCD. It made me happy, slowed me down a bit, yadda yadda.

I quit smoking when I got onto Lexapro a little over a year ago. A few months after acclimating to the med, I started smoking again on a smaller scale. I'd like to quit, but I’m finding it hard to give up completely. I think giving it up is key for me to continue to take care of the anxiety and OCD.

No psycho-analysis or fretting about mixing anti-depressants and pot wanted - I’m open with my therapist about all that and we’re working on it. I would like to hear about healthy substitutes for finding relaxation, escape, enjoyment, even "enhancement". (Not that pot has been my only source for those states, of course, just an easy go-to and fallback.) Any tips on how to shake off this unhealthy habit?

getaway

brautigan — Tue, 30 May 2006 14:10:30 -0800

Getaway Askmefi: Can you find us a beautiful retreat in France, Spain or Italy? My girlfriend and I are hoping to get away for ten days or so in August. Ideally we'd like a self-catering cottage in France, Italy or Spain, with no neighbours, warm weather, a view and, if possible, a touch of the romantic. We live in the UK and our budget isn't too prohibitive. We just want to read books, drink wine and eat good food far from the madding crowd. Postcard and a bottle of good local wine to the best suggestion. Thanks in advance.

Work = Stressed, No work = depressed. Lame!

sdis — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 22:07:39 -0800

I get depressed when I don't have any work to do, but get totally stressed with the workload I usually have. What gives? So most of the time, I'm totally buried under work and stressed out and waiting out for a break or the end of a semester. I'm doing a relatively difficult pair of undergrad degrees, and it's a bitch of a workload.

Then a blessed break comes, and I get totally depressed. What gives? I know other people who are like this. If you are/were one of them, what do you do to fix this?

Music to think to.

safetyfork — Sat, 25 Mar 2006 18:55:59 -0800

Please suggest instrumental music we can listen to while we study. This music must mask the noise coming from the apartment above us and remain relatively unobtrusive (without being lame). We do a lot of reading and writing at home while our upstairs neighbors prefer to run laps around their apartment wearing clogs while having a full-on rock concert and party.

We're pursuing other means of working through the noise issue with them, but in the meantime we'd like some relaxing music that we can put on to help their loud stomping seem less intrusive.

Criteria:
-- preferably instrumental as vocals tend to distract us when we're reading
-- less bombastic than Godspeed You! Black Emperor or Igor Stravinsky
-- more upbeat than Eno soundscapes
-- relatively consistent dynamic range (large shifts in volume are what we're trying to overcome)
-- similarly, a steady beat is preferable to complex rhythms in this context
-- nothing too happy and/or treacly

If it matters, when we're not trying to study, we listen to punk and rock mostly. Thanks in advance for the help.