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Should this be a massive red flag, or just a small yellow one?

Asking for a friend: If your significant other gets massively angry but doesn't ever direct it at you, how much of a worry should it be? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Sep 16, 2013 - 77 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

The Couch is Not a Bed, Right?

My significant other (with whom I share an apartment) falls asleep in front of the TV every night and sometimes doesn't make it to bed. I am annoyed. Should I be? [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Sep 12, 2013 - 46 answers

Getting back together and breaking the yo-yo cycle

A while ago, my ex ended what had been a yo-yo relationship (on and off and on and off again) for 1.5 years. Now we are in different states and he wants to reconcile. Can this work? Has anyone done this and gone on to have a happy, healthy relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2013 - 34 answers

Is this just a special-snowflake-petty relationship concern?

If your partner did something wrong when you first started dating and you didn’t find out until later when you were deep in a happy relationship, what would you do? How much of the past do you let go and how much of the past do you let define the present (e.g., break up)? [more inside]
posted by inevitability on Sep 12, 2013 - 47 answers

Compatibility without conversation

Can you build a successful romantic relationship without conversational "flow"? [more inside]
posted by chausette marionette on Sep 12, 2013 - 20 answers

What can you learn from a bad breakup?

I was recently left by my partner of 4 years.... after I'd made significant life decisions based on the commitments he made to me. Now I feel like I've learned all these cynical life lessons. What should I take away from this? [special snowflake details inside] [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Sep 12, 2013 - 22 answers

Should I to try to make this relationship work?

Usually, in my past relationships, it's been pretty obvious to me when things have run their course, and I have tended to approach the break-ups as a step forward - which has worked out okay for me up until now, since none of my exes have been super ideal matches for me. Now, though, I find myself feeling more and more dispassionate towards a boyfriend who is really, honestly a super great guy. Help me make a decision? [more inside]
posted by 129SvJ on Sep 11, 2013 - 26 answers

Elusive dreams and schemes: how to deal with artist partner and money?

I am really at a point of not knowing how to proceed. I love my family very much, my kids and my husband. But my husband is slowly driving me crazy. He is an artist -- we met in another country from where we were both born and I moved to his country. That was more than ten years ago -- lots happened: kids, health and family issues, but I started working freelance and now have a strong client list and make pretty okay money. Now I'm making most of the money for the family. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2013 - 15 answers

How can I fix this? Help me save my relationship.

How do I make this better? Eroded partner’s trust to a dismal point. I’m headed out on a business trip and yes, he’ll be there when I get back, but unless I come up with something spectacular, his continued presence in our relationship will have to do more with our commingled financial interests than any desire to keep things together romantically. What do I do to make this up? the screwup: once again, misleading my love about our plans + schedule + business, with the brunt end falling all on his lap. [more inside]
posted by caveatz on Sep 10, 2013 - 61 answers

Relationship ambivalence- move with SO or go?

I'm trying to understand why I am having such doubt about my 1-year-ish relationship. Whenever I feel like I've made my mind up to stay or go, a week later I feel differently. At this point, I don't trust my own judgement and could really use outside perspectives. He's moving for work soon and, given my doubts, should I move with him? Or just break things off and take a job where I can get one- overseas? [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Sep 9, 2013 - 26 answers

How to heal with what I've learned?

I’ve been doing some heavy lifting lately involving my mental illness. For the first time in my life I think I’m finally facing the root cause of my problem, rather than the symptoms of depression, low self-esteem, lack of initiative, etc. More details [more inside]
posted by fredmounts on Sep 9, 2013 - 5 answers

How can I get through med school if I dislike group work?

I've just started medical school and the emphasis on group work is overwhelming me. I know that medicine is generally a team-oriented profession. I have certainly worked well in teams before, and found it enjoyable. I am affable and pulling my own weight is never an issue. Still, the fact that I have to work in a group for four hours a day, five days a week, is draining me like no other. I am angsty and tired. Please, fellow introverts and independent workers, especially those who are familiar with medical education -- how might you approach working in a heavily team-oriented environment? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Sep 8, 2013 - 13 answers

Gifts for the man who has (or could buy) everything?

I need birthday and anniversary gifts for the wonderful man I've been dating for nearly a year. Complicating factors: He is extraordinarily practical, but if he wants something, he has the means to buy it, and usually does. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 7, 2013 - 43 answers

Why do you keep in touch with your ex?

Went through a bad break up a few months ago and have recently been emailing back and forth with my ex. Our conversation is at a point where I can either let it die or keep it up. I've been trying to weigh the pros and cons and honestly can't think of too many pros. I'm just curious about people who do stay in touch with their ex(es). What do you gain from it? [more inside]
posted by aleatorictelevision on Sep 5, 2013 - 42 answers

Shy men, give me some insight

I'm trying to get to know a shy guy. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Sep 5, 2013 - 29 answers

Need advice: Is it time for a divorce, or do I ride this out?

Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 27 answers

How to get out of this?

For the last 6 months, I have been involved in and online "thing". I think it's time to cut this off. Most effective way? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Sep 3, 2013 - 14 answers

What are things you say casually to curb bad behavior in relationships?

For example an acquaintance has mentioned a mistake I made that is starting to make me feel embarrassed. I wasn't embarrassed until she mentioned it jokingly a few times. Nonetheless I became annoyed and would like to say 'stop it' gently enough so that we can still get to know each other but want to nip this kind of comment in the bud or at least let her know I don't like excessive teasing or sarcasm aimed at me. [more inside]
posted by PeaPod on Sep 3, 2013 - 36 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

Whoops

I drunkenly fooled around with a married friend and now feel terrible about it. What, if anything, do I do next? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2013 - 28 answers

You pinkie swore!

Looking for perspective about a breach of trust in my relationship, albeit on a teeny tiny scale. Am I making too much of this, or is a promise a promise? [more inside]
posted by little_dog_laughing on Aug 31, 2013 - 49 answers

He's the one who made things awkward, so why do I feel like a jerk?

A co-worker/friend drunkenly confessed romantic feelings; I reciprocated; now he’s acting cold to me. Do I try to clear the air? Or let it go? [more inside]
posted by gimleteye on Aug 30, 2013 - 21 answers

how can an introvert infiltrate a tight-knit group of super-socializers?

my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

Someone I love has intense insecurity issues - how can I help them?

I ended my LTR a few weeks ago, but can't shake the feeling that I'm abandoning someone in their hour of need, so to speak. My ex was a delightful person, but suffered from the most bizarre and extreme inferiority complex I have ever witnessed. (It was so bad at times that he would sometimes escape from parties by exiting through a window in a back room somewhere.) It got to the point where his behavior was starting to wear me down, and things unraveled from there, but it tears me up to think that he'll no longer have someone to help him stave off his self-loathing tendencies. [more inside]
posted by Teradactyl on Aug 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Is it okay to stop maintaining contact with a longtime 'friend'?

I have a 'friend' with whom I am not interested in maintaining a friendship any longer. She seems to feel otherwise and is being a bit persistent. I keep ignoring her emails and phone calls, but still, every few months or so, there she is. I really don't want to have to tell her that I don't want to be her friend anymore. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 37 answers

How upset should I be about my boyfriend's temper?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. I'm 25, female, he's 36. He's been the best boyfriend I've ever had. Dedicated. Loving. Caring. Kind. He's funny, super smart, handsome, great in bed...I've never been in a relationship this good. Since we started dating, I've seen him get angry a few times. Usually he calms down relatively quickly, apologizes, we talk, and everything is fine. He's mentioned he has a temper and can get very angry, but I had never really seen that side of him. [more inside]
posted by gcolmes@gmail.com on Aug 26, 2013 - 140 answers

Should I stay... Or really, how should I go?

How do I navigate a breakup with this woman who I respect and love, in a way that might encourage her to get better and find some happiness? Or should I even break up with her, given the potential good things that might come along if she did process through some of her stuff? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2013 - 32 answers

Learning new skills, then had it shut down by co-worker, response?

I've been learning new skills to grow at my company, and seemingly successfully, but then suddenly asked to stop by a co-worker (who's been here longer but isn't my supervisor or anything). Story of details inside, but looking for the best response: accept this, or if I can argue against it how best to do so. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Aug 23, 2013 - 27 answers

So I became a stalker

My ex dumped and me coldly and cruelly one day out of the blue. We lived together and talked about marriage and kids. It was my most serious relationship. One day he came from work and told me to move out in 24 hours and it's over. Then he cut me off like I never existed. This was 1.5 years ago. I still can't let go of my feelings of anger and resentment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2013 - 48 answers

Partner lied about previous sexual partners & his faithfulness

A lie of omission, to be more accurate. When I met my (now) husband he understood that I hadn’t had sex and didn’t plan on it before marriage, and that I was looking for someone with similar beliefs about sex. Because he knew this, he was honest and told me that he had been in a long-term relationship with someone before for 7 years - I was fine with this. But I recently discovered that he had sex with 3 different women right as he was getting to know me, (one of whom I've since met at one of his work parties, and cringe to think I was the only one in the group who didn't know about this), and he didn't feel it was important to tell me about it when he proposed to me. [more inside]
posted by Zee101 on Aug 21, 2013 - 43 answers

A friendly rejection

What's the friendliest way to decline future dates from someone you've been out with a few times but just aren't that into? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Aug 18, 2013 - 14 answers

Should I be the one who got away?

Two women, two very different paths in life. Is there a third option that I can't see? Excessive detail inside. [more inside]
posted by MyFrozenYear on Aug 18, 2013 - 33 answers

What are the steps I should take to improve my life?

I have made a succession of poor decisions. What are the steps I should take to improve my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2013 - 19 answers

Strong Single Woman? Is there like...Cliff notes for this or something?

I'm single again. I know...KNOW that I MUST learn how to be OK with myself single. I crave being that strong, single women that people are drawn to and admire. But I'm to the point that I can't just say "I'm amazing!" and *snaps fingers* everything is peachy keen again. I need some specific things to do in order to move forward, distract myself from my loneliness, and learn to like being single. Can you add to the list of things to do? Come on in! [more inside]
posted by MultiFaceted on Aug 16, 2013 - 26 answers

What is going on here? (Relationship clarity)

Some advice needed on a newly poly marriage...issues regarding imbalance of resources/effort, feelings of rejection, control issues, etc Please PM me if you think that will be more helpful. [more inside]
posted by queenba on Aug 15, 2013 - 41 answers

She has started to work in the same company with me, what now ?

I was a perfectly happy man 3 months ago. Then i met a woman by early May, we were in a relation two weeks later. It was too good to be true and apparently things unfold to a rebound situation on her end. We peacefully broke up. I was struggling at first but knew that things will get back to normal soon... after all it wasn't a relation lasted for years. This was until she started to work in the same company with me 2 weeks ago. Now i feel like i am stuck in this limbo forever. [more inside]
posted by yamamato on Aug 14, 2013 - 11 answers

Can a relationship bounce back from a bad period like ours?

My boyfriend and I are currently at a low point in our relationship. I have been irrationally jealous and as a result we have fought every week for the past month. He seems to be very ok with me the day after our fights but I can see how he would want out. Should we keep trying? [more inside]
posted by 01080591 on Aug 13, 2013 - 29 answers

When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not?

I have been seeing this guy since December about once or twice a month, and am possibly on the verge of having feelings. Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Aug 13, 2013 - 9 answers

Success stories where "one that got away" was really not "the one?"

Are there any success stories of people who have gotten over relationships that you /know/ could have been fixed if circumstances had been different and have gone on to find greater happiness, especially with successful, committed relationships? I am worried that my recent relationship is going to turn into one of those "the one that got away" situations, and he's made it clear he doesn't want to work on it anymore, so I can't do anything about that. I had thought I would be settling down in a city with a long term partner by now, and the fact that that is not happening is really tough to handle. Help!!! I need encouragement. [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Aug 13, 2013 - 22 answers

Etiquette of homeowners insurance and accidents

My friend Stan (very) recently moved to the USA, and has already had a run-in with his health insurance that we are not sure how to deal with. Stan's new boss Joe invited Stan's family over for an afternoon, and at some point Stan's five year old fell and cut his arm on a rock in the garden. [more inside]
posted by jacalata on Aug 13, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm 27 and I don't want a partner

At 27 years old, I really should be 'out there,' looking for a partner. So why does the mere thought of dating fill me with utter dread? [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Aug 13, 2013 - 39 answers

Workfilter: How to be professional in the face of major disappointment

I've been at my job for the past five years and have had a lot of success, and have won a lot of awards for my work. However the folks that have seen my work and recognized my work have either left the organization or are on leave this summer. I interviewed for a position that I was qualified for and was not hired. A person that joined my team a year ago, Sally, spent the summer sucking up to the person who was tapped to be the hiring manager, Harry, who is a man that was newly hired in May, right before the person who would have been the hiring manager (my current boss) left on three months of leave. Sally got the job over six other applicants (including myself) that were more qualified. Everyone on the team is upset/angry at this situation, and we are worried about what this woman will do with this new power. Looking for guidance on how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2013 - 16 answers

What is a life changing realization that you wish you'd had sooner?

I have a birthday coming up soon (28 - which for some reason feels like a milestone to me) and have been spending some time thinking about some of the small epiphanies I've had in the last few years that have made my life infinitely better. Such as - it's ok to let go of friends who no longer bring anything positive into your life; you are not responsible for your mothers happiness; and it's OK if the person you are seriously dating and thinking about settling down with is very different from the person that you thought you'd be with. In fact, it might be a very good thing. All of this thinking has made me realize that 1) if I had known this a few years earlier I might have avoided some serious heartache and anxiety attacks and 2) that there are probably plenty more epiphanies that I haven't had yet. So, I'm asking you all wise and all knowing MeFiers - what is a life changing realization you wish you'd had sooner?
posted by Bokonon11 on Aug 12, 2013 - 107 answers

Help me find book on interpersonal dynamics?

I remember vaguely that it had a purple cover, but cannot remember the title or author. I know within the first few pages was a chart explaining the dynamics with a few intertwined circles. It was not a textbook, but a paperback of about 200 pages. Sadly, that's all I remember. At the time I was a sophomore in high school and the book caught my eye on a bookshelf. However, I could only read a few pages because it was more challenging than any book I had encountered. Now, I keep thinking about this book and have a strong impression that if I were to find it, it could finally be comprehensible to me. Help?
posted by lunastellasol on Aug 12, 2013 - 8 answers

Did I fuck up? How shall I do it differently next time?

I'm in the post break-up re-evaluation phase ('bargaining' phase in the grieving process?). I veer between feeling I tried my best while also holding onto ways I could have done things differently while dealing with our core problem to feeling that I fucked up majorly and just lost a potentially fantastic life-partner. While par for course this state of affairs is I believe, this is really eating me and I would be grateful for some perspective. [more inside]
posted by drummergirl80 on Aug 12, 2013 - 17 answers

Can attraction grow? Great guy, but not too terribly attracted?

Casually dating a great guy. He's smart, funny, we're comfortable with each other. We've been seeing each other for 2 months now. The issue is... I don't find him incredibly physically appealing. Can I overcome it? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Aug 11, 2013 - 65 answers

Hey, Extroverts!

This is a question for the extroverts, the popular, those who play well with others and the possessors of good people skills. What do you know about meeting people, making friends and relationships (both platonic and romantic) that others might not? [more inside]
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Aug 9, 2013 - 37 answers

Birth control options for sad ladies

New relationship, long history of depression, looking for birth control advice. [more inside]
posted by terretu on Aug 9, 2013 - 17 answers

How do I communicate what I want when I'm not even sure what that is?

Dating again. I guess. Is this dating? [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Aug 8, 2013 - 24 answers

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