3259 posts tagged with relationships.
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Can/should this relationship be saved? If so, how?

Got it together with friend, relationship seemed to be going amazingly, then he did a sudden about turn and ended it. I am hoping the situation can be resolved. How can I make things better? Or am I kidding myself and do I just need to move on? [more inside]
posted by intensitymultiply on Jun 11, 2016 - 28 answers

coping with a potential crush

I have what seems to be a crush on a good friend. She is not available. What is the best way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by aaabbbccc on Jun 9, 2016 - 19 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

What do you do about a love triangle?

I'm finding myself in a very complicated love triangle between my partner and our mutual friend (his best friend of many years). My boyfriend and I are in an open sexual relationship, but I believe I'm emotionally cheating on him. I have no idea what to do, or where to even begin in trying to fix this. [more inside]
posted by chocolatespaghetti on Jun 7, 2016 - 41 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

Can I fix my depression to save my relationship?

I'm 26 years old, my fiance is 27. I'm not sure how much information to give, I don't want to post a wall of text. I'm mainly posting this question to hear about other people's experiences, good and bad, with working on their depression while being in a relationship. [more inside]
posted by Leaves22 on Jun 5, 2016 - 25 answers

Ideas may die, but how do you kill them?

CGPGrey explained how internet arguments are self-selecting in order to symbiotically grow two opposing sides who mostly just badmouth the other side with increasingly inaccurate stories. That wouldn't be a problem, except sometimes the process spirals out of control and spills over into harassment, doxxing, violence, etc. So, if we understand how the process works, how do you stop it? Is there actually an effective way to treat the angry thought-germs CGPGrey described?
posted by jsnlxndrlv on Jun 4, 2016 - 10 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I break up with him?

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. Met online shortly after I got out of a 5 year relationship. It has been an interesting relationship. I've had really good times along with bad and doubts throughout. I feel like I am bad at relationships; I don't really have standards for boyfriends or something, I don't know what my problem is, and if anyone can point it out to me it might help me... [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 31, 2016 - 36 answers

Could this relationship realistically work?

How should I pursue this, if at all? [more inside]
posted by Yellow78 on May 31, 2016 - 30 answers

Has anyone else had a parent who FORCED you into an eating disorder?

I (female) grew up in a house as the only girl with multiple brothers. My mother began putting me on diets at age 8, before I'd ever shown any signs of having weight issues. I was a normal 8 yr old girl, but not as scrawny as my brothers. From the diets she'd always put me on (this was the 80's, for cultural reference), it began a terrible cycle of me failing the diets and not ever being able to do enough to make her stop policing what I ate. I'm just now coming to the conclusion that I may never have had an issue with food / being overweight if my mom had not forced her insecurities on to me. Longer explanation included. Advice/perspective/fellow war stories appreciated. [more inside]
posted by zettoo on May 31, 2016 - 32 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Couples conflict - how do you fight - your stories?

Hive mind, I'm looking for effective conflict resolution techniques/behaviors. A lot of what is written online seems a little too artificial to work in reality with the different personalities of people. What has worked for you in marital conflicts/arguments and why do you think it works? It is said it's not that a couple has fights but how they fight that matters. Having been in a relationship where one person simply doesn't validate the other person's issues and still expects peaceful co-existence, and the other person has a lot of anger in return, i'm trying to figure out what behavioral changes can we make to improve our conflict resolution. Some more details inside [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on May 28, 2016 - 50 answers

Change your attachment style

I have an avoidance attachment style. I want to be secure. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on May 27, 2016 - 7 answers

I broke up with this guy, but did I do the right thing?

Broke off a short-term relationship, now struggling badly & unsure if I did the right thing. Tell me I have, or haven't. [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 24, 2016 - 16 answers

Low Libido... Nooooooooo

I’m a 35-yr-old cis woman married to a wonderful man. I’m attracted to him in every way, and we’ve been together for 10 years. This is the first time I’ve needed to reach out for this problem… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2016 - 18 answers

My wife is not my granddaughter, I swear!

How to change Facebook settings so Facebook doesn't show my wife as my granddaughter?! [more inside]
posted by terrapin on May 17, 2016 - 23 answers

I love my husband…but I don’t want to sleep with him. Does it matter?

Until I slept with someone else, I didn't realise what I was missing. But I can't break up our lives on a whim. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 38 answers

Ok we can try again but don't break me this time lalala

What's a good song or songs that have a message along the lines of "yes things got really messed up between us due to your actions but I have thought about it and am willing to forgive your with the hope that things will be good again" or the closest approximation?
posted by jitterbug perfume on May 15, 2016 - 18 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

How to hit the reset button on our sex life and libidos?

Our sex life has been lackluster for a long time and I want to change that, but there's a long and complicated history.. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 33 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

How do you teach boundaries and respect?

Is it possible to teach an adult how to be considerate and respect boundaries? If a child grows up without boundaries, is it impossible to learn? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on May 9, 2016 - 29 answers

Is he not asking me out more because he is laid back or not into me?

I am still seeing the guy I posted about previously. But am I a convenience girl or does he genuinely like me? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 8, 2016 - 25 answers

Major Relationship Issue- How to Control My Resentment?

I'm currently harboring a lot of resentment towards my girlfriend. Her brother is a molester and she's unsure of what to do about it, and she has cancelled our wedding due to being unsure and afraid of losing the rest of her family. I have no idea what to do or where to turn, how can I stop feeling resentful? [more inside]
posted by Firestorm 2018 on May 7, 2016 - 45 answers

how do i emotionally disconnect while remaining supportive?

My spouse has got it rough, and I'm arguably the strongest pillar in his support network. Lately, though, I'm finding myself completely emotionally destroyed after offering him the support I've promised him. I need coping mechanisms to maintain my own emotional stability while still remaining supportive to my sweetheart. [more inside]
posted by blue t-shirt on May 4, 2016 - 6 answers

Should I bring up an issue of listening skills after one date?

I value listening skills in a partner. I was surprised to find that a man who was responsive, curious and affirming via online message didn't bring the conversational energy I expected when we met in person. Can I communicate this to him after our first date? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on May 1, 2016 - 18 answers

How do I keep a realistic view of the past?

Given tendencies towards nostalgia and overly optimistic views of the past, how do you stay grounded in reality and move on from unhealthy situations without constant regret? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by AnonymousPuppet on Apr 27, 2016 - 2 answers

How do I fix my life?

I am about to graduate college with a business degree, a mediocre gpa, and very little experience. I have not made a single friend in college or been in a relationship. I lived with my parents for the whole entire time in college and they expect me to be married before leaving the house. I tend to succumb to extreme laziness and procrastination. I can spend 8 hours daily on the internet instead of doing homework. This procrastination has seeped into my job search. Am I ever going to be prepared for life? [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon on Apr 26, 2016 - 15 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

Interracial relationship issues

If you are a person of colour in an interracial relationship, what do you expect of your partner in terms of understanding racial issues? In what ways do they show you they are an ally to POC? How much emotional labour do you do to help them with that? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Apr 23, 2016 - 14 answers

Is it possible to change bad professional reputation?

I had a nightmarish experience during my PhD which is in most part due to my supervisor. I barely made it through and graduated with no publicaitons and shattered self-esteem. Thanks to a lot of luck, I landed a good postdoc position. It's a very narrow field of work though, everyone knows everyone and my PhD experience continues to haunt me... [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 22, 2016 - 20 answers

Do I wait or do I go?

So a while ago, I asked how to give the relationship talk. I finally did it a little while ago when I felt ready but the answer was essentially that he isn't ready. He recently got out of a mega-long relationship and is worried about repeating that. My question is, do I wait for him? [more inside]
posted by cyml on Apr 19, 2016 - 26 answers

How can a fundamentalist explore beyond her upbringing?

How can I respectfully explore the possibility that, as a woman, I'm attracted to women? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2016 - 14 answers

What do you bring to the table?

What are men bringing to a modern marriage? I read lots of poorly referenced stories about how they increase a women's workload, don't perform emotional labor, and do much less of the child rearing. So what are men bringing to the table? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Apr 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Can an "alpha" be happy with a "beta"?

Despite an otherwise inspiring and fulfilling relationship, I recently made the very difficult decision to split with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years because I felt like I was always leading the charge on Big Life Things and carrying him along. I figured I needed an alpha partner who was quick enough to take care of me and of things before I could get to them myself. Now I am observing this very type of alpha person "in the wild", and wondering if I have made a mistake. "Alpha" ladies, what is your experience with "beta" partners? [more inside]
posted by qzar on Apr 14, 2016 - 50 answers

My roommate is a hardcore recycler and I am not. What now?

My roommate has confronted me about putting improper items in our trash that can be recycled. I don't really care. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Apr 11, 2016 - 67 answers

Respecting religious differences in emotionally charged conversations?

I'm an atheist. I don't wear this fact on my sleeve. Most of the time, I actively avoid religion as a conversational topic. There are some conversations, however, where you can't duck the topic, because you're providing support to someone who has experienced a personal tragedy, such as the death of a loved one, and in the course of that conversation, they will invoke their religious beliefs. The question I am posing is: how can I provide emotional support and maintain proper boundaries while respecting their beliefs and my own as well?
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Apr 9, 2016 - 31 answers

I'd love to spend SOME time with you.... Introverts and dating?

I'd like to hear from other introverts about your experiences with dating and burn-out. Is having it at all (or even a few months in) a bad sign for long-term compatibility? Or just a sign that the relationship is moving too fast for you? Or do you set strong boundaries on your time and just trust that the right person will understand? [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Apr 6, 2016 - 19 answers

The in-law triangle, how do you deal with it?

My partner and I have been together a long time and I have posted about issues with his sister before. I can see that his inability to draw boundaries is the real issue here and so my question is combination of how does one deal when a SO can't and won't draw boundaries and has a needy sibling who has a hard time backing off. We are all in our late 30s but emotionally in our relationship, it feels like he needs to take care of her, and be there for her and I can't get over the feeling that her very existence is now sucking oxygen out of my relationship, and i need to stop feeling like that. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Apr 5, 2016 - 30 answers

What should I include in my 'sex and relationships' lessons?

I'm looking for advice as to what I should include as 'extras' in my sex and relationships lessons for ten and eleven year old children. [more inside]
posted by schmoo on Apr 4, 2016 - 48 answers

Gay man in a relationship which could be going better

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2016 - 20 answers

How important is it to be "work-equal" in relationships?

Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by fka on Apr 3, 2016 - 24 answers

Did I push away my soulmate?

I ended it with a man I loved, he hates me. Do I leave him to cool off and try again in a few months? I want to make him understand the reasons why I ended it. [more inside]
posted by newthirdworld on Mar 30, 2016 - 21 answers

My husband won't listen to me talk about work

My husband completely shuts down when I talk to him about problems I'm having at work. This is the only topic of conversation that he automatically shuts down, in two minutes or fewer. It has been ongoing, and I feel like I have to lie and say work is "fine" when he asks, or just swallow up my negative feelings. What's going on here? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Mar 29, 2016 - 72 answers

GF is more successful than me, how do I deal?

My girlfriend is more successful than me. How do I keep myself from turning into a jealous weird guy? I want to celebrate and support her success, without getting bummed out and feeling emasculated. Looking for strategies (non-redpill) on how to not let this get to me, not blow my budget, and maintain my sense of masculinity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 31 answers

Best relationship hacks for an anxious-preoccupied attachment style?

I am in a relationship that I very much enjoy, with a partner who is supportive and giving but also has external limits on how much attention he can give to the relationship. What are some ideas that have worked for people who have an anxious/preoccupied attachment style, to avoid triggering insecurity? [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Mar 27, 2016 - 18 answers

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