My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside.
[more inside]
posted by six sided sock
on Feb 26, 2013 -
40 answers
Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 25, 2013 -
25 answers
I have to have a relationship talk tonight with a new person in my life. It's going to be stressful but I think it's going to be okay. How do I not cry? I have a tendency to get choked up and cry during certain types of discussions where I feel vulnerable. (It even happens at work, but that's another AskMe.) What do I do? Should I just issue a warning before we talk?
posted by summer sock
on Feb 22, 2013 -
10 answers
I met a guy through an online dating website who I like but am not attracted to. I'd like to meet with him again, but how do I manage this without leading him on? And is online dating always going to be like this?
[more inside]
posted by starcrust
on Feb 21, 2013 -
29 answers
In my first relationship where I'm spending significant amounts of time with a boyfriend and need some guidance on how I can balance 'him' time and 'me' time.
[more inside]
posted by sockypuppeteer
on Feb 20, 2013 -
15 answers
My parents are now asking my sister's new live-in boyfriend to pay rent while he lives in her house, which they co-own and are paying the mortgage on. Is this right?
[more inside]
posted by Auden
on Feb 18, 2013 -
53 answers
I’ve realised in recent months that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with had/has a mood disorder - depression, or in a couple of cases, cyclothymia with crushing lows. This seems like more than coincidence. What can I do about it?
[more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story
on Feb 18, 2013 -
22 answers
How do I persuade my long-term partner to do what I need about half the time? He is not, I repeat not, a good American progressive who's been through therapy. He loves me and wants to satisfy me, but is not a willing participant in the "hey, let's have an open discussion" approach. What are some alternative tactics?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 17, 2013 -
29 answers
Recently I've met several young men who said they're not ready for a relationship. Generally, they would like to date, even "long term," meaning months, or even a year or few, but they state that they don't feel ready for finding a person to settle down with. I am, however, ready for that. My response so far has been to not date people who state this, either on OKC (e.g. "how long would you want your next relationship to last?" "a few months to a year") or in person (e.g. a guy recently asked why I don't date younger and I said it's because they're usually not ready for something serious, he said 'yeah, I'm not'), but I'm wondering if this is a mistake I should not repeat if it comes up again in the future. Please advise me.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 15, 2013 -
38 answers
I was wondering what is considered leading someone on. I'm looking for sexual intimacy with a woman. Usually involves private dating and only the two of us knowing about it. Is it misleading to hangout with them in groups and meet each others friends, even though I don't want to enter the serious boyfriend girlfriend stage. I just gernaly enjoy spending time with someone and going on dates. So basically, have you and any casual dating experiences I can get ideas from.
posted by mrfawcet
on Feb 14, 2013 -
12 answers
So. Either my boyfriend's drinking or my anxiety about his drinking is going to ruin our (extremely awesome, otherwise very solid) relationship. I can't tell if I'm being crazy or not.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 13, 2013 -
57 answers
As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally.
[more inside]
posted by jouir
on Feb 12, 2013 -
33 answers
I am having a very difficult time dealing with PTSD, especially as it relates to having close relationships with men. I am in my early 40's and for most of my life I didn't realize why I had such a hard time being able to trust others and allow myself to get close to people. Over the past couple of years, I was diagnosed with PTSD stemming from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse during my childhood. I have to say that it was good to discover why I have been screwed up emotionally for so long. At the same time, I am able to see that the kind of men I tend to gravitate toward are either abusive or emotionally not present (just like my parents). I have been in therapy ever since my diagnosis, and am working on building my self-esteem too. I am an awesome woman with a lot to offer and I have come a long way over the years. I can't seem to stop attracting men who hurt me in some way.
I want to find a life partner and I know that I deserve to be in a loving and nurturing relationship. But love equals pain even after years of therapy and working on myself.
Is there life after PTSD and how do I break this cycle? How can I find a man who loves me for me and wants to be supportive, PTSD and all? Thanks.
posted by strelitzia
on Feb 12, 2013 -
12 answers
I'm in a relationship with wonderful woman (4 months) who I am falling for but should I break it off now because it's unequal?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Feb 12, 2013 -
16 answers
My partner is a new psychotherapist and I think his training is getting in the way of how we communicate. Is there some way to make it clear that I'd like him to knock it off, or Is there some other way I ought to be thinking about this?
[more inside]
posted by It's a Parasox
on Feb 9, 2013 -
25 answers
I have a beautiful, curious, 8 month old daughter. I love her, but I don't know how to play with her. Help!
[more inside]
posted by elizamina
on Feb 7, 2013 -
21 answers
After a long period of not dating -- partly volitional, partly circumstantial -- I met somebody I really like and who really likes me (yay!) and we've been seeing each other for a couple of months. It's going really well. Although we have been on a few traditional dates -- live music and movies and dinners out -- we have the best time hanging out at each other's places, cooking dinner together, reading together, playing board games, and watching movies at home. Is this a problem? We are still getting to know each other. Are there good reasons to avoid what looks an awful lot like domesticity in the early stages of a relationship?
posted by summer sock
on Feb 5, 2013 -
21 answers
Over the weekend, I turned down an invitation to a birthday party (from a man I've been seeing for 3 months) because I wasn't actually invited to it by the girls who held it. It just so happened to be one of several incidents in which I have turned him down for weekend festivities. Now he seems to be ignoring me...or am I going crazy?
[more inside]
posted by 01080591
on Feb 5, 2013 -
59 answers
So this last week I've started realizing I care more about my... appearance? Demeanor? Presentation? Than I have in the past. I suddenly have motivation to kind of get my act together and act like a grown-up, I guess. What do you do, or see people do, that makes that impression on you?
[more inside]
posted by dubadubowbow
on Feb 3, 2013 -
34 answers
What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new?
[more inside]
posted by toerinishuman
on Feb 3, 2013 -
6 answers
While experimenting with polyamory, I met someone great (who's not into poly) who I then pushed away and now love. Do I stand a chance?
[more inside]
posted by chrysanthemum
on Feb 3, 2013 -
27 answers
I don't want to breech the fb borders yet, as I feel it could kill some of the mystery and magic of getting to know her in real life, but we may never cross paths again. Do I exercise my limited patience for a moment that I can't wait for or just send a msg and start the ball rolling?
[more inside]
posted by talljamal
on Feb 1, 2013 -
26 answers
I'm pretty happy. Some amazing things have been happening in my life lately. One of the amazing things is a new relationship with someone who might be the love of my life. Here's the rub: I'm in my early 30s, a virgin and have never had a relationship longer than 3 months. I usually run away when relationships start to get too close. This new relationship feels perfect, easy and safe, but I'm afraid I might repeat my old patterns eventually. We have just passed the 3 month mark.
If my happy, falling in love self goes to therapy and tells this as my reason for seeking treatment, what will the therapist think? Do I Need therapy///or can it help me?
posted by anonymous
on Feb 1, 2013 -
15 answers
I'm confused by my boyfriend's criticisms of my personality. I can't tell if they're legitimate problems I should work on in this relationship because I will encounter the same issues with most perceptive guys, or if it's a sign that he'll never fully accept who I am.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jan 31, 2013 -
82 answers
"Men want sex" and "women want romance" -- so the stereotypes go.
To what extent does the average woman believe (or not believe) in these stereotypes? Does anyone know if there is research on this? I've been searching for hours, but haven't turned up anything yet.
posted by tybeet
on Jan 31, 2013 -
11 answers
Can you help me to better distinguish cheery lovebird songs vs. the squawks of ailing canaries in my dating coal mine?
[more inside]
posted by argonauta
on Jan 30, 2013 -
89 answers
Have you ever had a relationship, that maybe not DTMFA worthy, started out pretty rocky but eventually turned in to something good and healthy? Details are appreciated.
[more inside]
posted by mockpuppet
on Jan 29, 2013 -
18 answers
I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me.
It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks
on Jan 23, 2013 -
38 answers
I am in a really amazing relationship after a long, bad one. It is mutually supportive, caring, engaging, and honest—loving, in the best, most positive way. We never fight. This confuses me, and I need some reality-checking and standards for how normal good relationships are supposed to work.
[more inside]
posted by sockpuppet yo
on Jan 22, 2013 -
23 answers
In The Muppets Take Manhattan, there's a scene where a
lady bear snuggles up to
Fozzie, and he appears visibly panicked, calling for Kermit in a way that suggests he doesn't know how to navigate the situation. Have there ever been any Muppet appearances where Fozzie has romantic interactions with anyone, of any gender? If so, who? Has any Muppet media ever implied that Fozzie Bear is heterosexual?
posted by Greg Nog
on Jan 15, 2013 -
25 answers
I have been dating a guy and he hasn't responded to my text message for over a day, its quite unlike him. Why is he ignoring me?
I was wondering if anyone can help me understand what is happening? Has anyone had this experience before and guys in particular, what do you think? Am I over-reacting?
[more inside]
posted by artystar
on Jan 15, 2013 -
60 answers
Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jan 13, 2013 -
35 answers
A guy called Matt used to flirt with me a lot and said I was one of the prettiest girls he has seen, asked me out but never went through with it, making me confused. I asked him out and he said yes but in the end nothing happened. I made out with his friend (did not know they knew each other) and yesterday Matt told me that he used to like me but wanted to take things slowly, but will not do anything now because of what happened. Is that just an excuse for him to reject me? Should I should just let this go? Thank you!
posted by lovisa91
on Jan 12, 2013 -
20 answers
Hi. So I am a 30 year old woman dating a 37 year old guy. We started dating back when I was 22 and he was 29. I was pretty young then really now I think about it. Early days were great. However we've now been in a rut for the past 8 months or so and I'm starting to question whether I should make the effort to help fix things,... or whether it might be better to breakup. What is it like to be a newly single woman in her early thirties after the breakdown of a long relationship? I had always thought we would end up married, with kids and a house together. :(
[more inside]
posted by ohayo_lion
on Jan 11, 2013 -
32 answers
Got a message out of the blue on a social network the other day from an ex; mentioned it to my partner (we're both big believers in transparency when it comes to random messages from exes) and we're each taking a different read from the message, so we figured we'd turn to the hivemind for input.
[more inside]
posted by MarchHare
on Jan 10, 2013 -
60 answers
I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round.
[more inside]
posted by mellosphere
on Jan 8, 2013 -
32 answers
I haven't had sex in more than three years. I am going out of my freaking mind. One of my New Year's resolutions is that I must end this dry spell. I have a friend with whom I would like to start sharing some benefits. How do I go about this?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jan 5, 2013 -
38 answers
I’m considering ending my relationship. Should I give him another chance to make changes?
of course it's long [more inside]
posted by Ms.Stocking
on Jan 4, 2013 -
47 answers
I'm a married female. My female friend has admitted to having feelings for me and continually makes subtle comments. What to do?
[more inside]
posted by shiggins
on Jan 3, 2013 -
44 answers
Please help me make sense of a romantic situation, involving a co-worker, lots of mixed signals, confusion and a desire to remain best friends. Very very long explanation inside, sorry I kept it as brief as I could.
[more inside]
posted by Ranting Prophet of DOOM!
on Jan 2, 2013 -
20 answers
I have a lot of female friends. Lately, a number of them have begun giving me romantic vibes. I have never dated a friend in my entire life - I have often
become friends with people I dated, but never the other way around. How do I pursue this type of thing? (Snowflake details inside.)
[more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01
on Jan 2, 2013 -
25 answers
At the beginning of the relationship, she had asked to be exclusive. Told me she wants me to be her boyfriend. Thing's were going great. She mentions that she has a male friend visiting from out of town. Wasn't a big deal for me. Then it comes to light that he would be staying at her place for the weekend.
[more inside]
posted by Nicholas Geary
on Jan 2, 2013 -
120 answers
Looking for recommendations of effective books/workbooks/web resources on emotional intelligence, abandonment issues, anger, fear, jealousy, trust issues and self-compassion. Bonus points for including all of the above and being available on Kindle.
[more inside]
posted by f3l1x
on Dec 30, 2012 -
6 answers
Is there a polite way to tell your significant other that you absolutely hate the gifts you've received from them for holiday? But wait!! I'm not being snooty for the reasons you'd think I would! More inside..
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posted by baconandvodka
on Dec 29, 2012 -
68 answers
