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2815 posts tagged with relationships.
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Having a messy house is the least of my worries

Mefites with ADHD, how do you cope with the social and professional problems caused by this condition? [more inside]
posted by Sockrates on Jun 29, 2014 - 7 answers

How did you move in with your SO when you worked opposing schedules?

I work days, he works nights. We both like to sleep. And now we want to move in together. How do we make this work? [more inside]
posted by genmonster on Jun 29, 2014 - 13 answers

Seperating 2 dogs during move/relationship seperation?

I am moving to New York for work, and would like my dog to come with me. My husband and I are going to be long-distance for a year, and possibly more. I am the "dog person" in our relationship, and we have 2 dogs. I want to make the healthiest decision for my animals in terms of their dynamic during a seperation/move. Deets on dogs inside. [more inside]
posted by Kestrelxo on Jun 28, 2014 - 7 answers

My girlfriend snooped through my phone. Now what?

I found out my girlfriend snooped through my phone. I don't know how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by hobodeluxe on Jun 27, 2014 - 47 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

dating with chronic pain

I have chronic crippling body pain that can strike at any time. I am doing all the things I can to learn to live with it and ease it when it strikes but I have a hard time being with people sometimes because I get snappy when I feel like they don't understand how much energy it takes. Now I have a new girlfriend and it is going to cause problems. Have you lived with pain and relationships? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 26, 2014 - 19 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

Moving cross country together without too many tears

I'll be moving with my boyfriend to a new city in a few months. It'll be the first time either of us have lived with a partner, or with each other, or in this new city. We know it's going to be stressful, but how can we make it less so? [more inside]
posted by good day merlock on Jun 16, 2014 - 28 answers

How do I go from friends with my male classmate to a relationship?

It has taken me two years to get over my ex-boyfriend, and now, in graduate school, I finally, finally met a guy classmate whom I think could be great boyfriend material. He is kind, sweet, super intelligent, and not to mention pretty good-looking. We've spent a bit of time together on projects and study together occasionally, and over the past few months I've really developed some feelings for this guy. The trouble is, I am quite shy and not very good at flirting, so I've tried to initiate contact by organizing study get-togethers, asking him questions on Facebook, etc. I don't want to seem clingy or weird by initiating all this contact though. As for me, people have said I'm pretty, kind, intelligent, blah blah blah. I'm at a point in my life where I would like to find the right man for me and settle down, and I think this guy could be it. Unlike my previous relationships in which we met online, with this guy, I've developed a friendship and my feelings have grown from what I've gleaned from his character and interactions with his family and friends. I really like him, and I don't want to let this one go. Do you have any advice for how to maybe hint to this guy that I like him?
posted by enantio on Jun 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

Does my coworker like me?

I know some people may judge me, but I am not looking for that...I already know I'm in a sticky situation. I've been married for 9 years but am planning to leave within a few months (I have to wait to move out due to financial reasons). Anyway, I started a new job about 6 weeks ago, and have been working very closely with a guy that I am attracted to. One day we were working a little late, and he closed the conference room door and started playing music while we were working together...he kept asking what kind of music I preferred, and would only play that. We talked a lot and that is when I really started liking him. [more inside]
posted by Maggsie97 on Jun 6, 2014 - 20 answers

How do I talk to the guy I'm dating about this?

We've been dating pretty steadily for 2 months, but now he's suddenly unresponsive and distant. I want to ask him tactfully what's up. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Jun 5, 2014 - 36 answers

The ghost of Christmas Past came calling. Now what?

My best friend and I had a big, ugly, dramatic falling out six years ago and we haven't spoken since. Today, out of the blue, she cold calls me at work to say hello and asks if we can meet for dinner. I'm not sure what I want to do. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by Sal and Richard on Jun 3, 2014 - 34 answers

A question about parenthood from a single, childless guy

I am in my early forties, single and childless. Many of my peers have opted to marry and have babies. I don't see myself joining them any time soon but I'd like to understand them a little better. So what are the aspects of parenthood that single, childless people (men in particular) Just Don't Get? [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Jun 1, 2014 - 27 answers

Logistics of breaking up and moving out?

I moved in to my girlfriend's apartment a little more than a year ago and decided this isn't the thing I want to do anymore. Is my escape plan appropriate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2014 - 38 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

How do I gain street smarts to protect myself and my children?

How does one overcome thought processes and the resulting bad decision making from a lifetime of abuse and poor examples. [more inside]
posted by tenaciousmoon on May 29, 2014 - 18 answers

Kink is complicated

My partner accepts 90% of my, as Dan Savage puts it, "a fetish-too-far", which is pretty great, considering. We have discussed it at length, she'll never come the last 10%, and I understand that. Two issues, though... [more inside]
posted by hwyengr on May 28, 2014 - 19 answers

In a relationship, in love with a friend, need to make some decisions

I’m in a stable and loving relationship that is approaching the deadline for commitment. I’ve had strong feelings for someone else for a long time, which I’ve managed to control, but have recently resurfaced with a vengeance, and are making me seriously question whether to commit. Help! [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on May 27, 2014 - 33 answers

Why do my relationships keep ending so suddenly?

I've had three girlfriends in my life, and all three have gone from loving me to never wanting to see me again in just a matter of weeks. What am I doing to scare these awesome ladies away? Snowflake details inside... [more inside]
posted by sidi hamet on May 22, 2014 - 45 answers

I think I caught the narcissism early...what to do?

Recently I started a relationship with someone who I now suspect has narcissistic tendencies. I feel like I should do something, but not sure if I should try to help him. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on May 22, 2014 - 18 answers

Good Movies About Couples in Love

Looking for some good, non-sappy movies about married (hetero) couples in committed, loving and devoted relationships - with emphasis on devotion. Not necessarily romance, but authentic, real love between 2 people - even if and when TSHTF. They stick through it all because they have each other's back. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on May 22, 2014 - 30 answers

Too fast? How fast??

I met a lovely woman and I'd like to talk about making the relationship more serious, but I'm completely clueless about norms around this relationship stuff. [more inside]
posted by meta x zen on May 22, 2014 - 18 answers

We broke up. I found out he cheated. Should I tell the "other" woman?

Broke up with my boyfriend of several years a couple days ago for unrelated reasons. I thought something was kind of fishy while we were still together, and confirmed suspicions soon after we broke up. He doesn't know that I know about it. It's clear the other woman he has been talking to does not know he wasn't single and that she is interested in him on more than a sexual level. Now she's planning on visiting him from out of state. He claims to still want to get back with me, says he still loves me, thinks it is a mistake to break up. I'm not getting back with him, but obviously he's not telling the truth to at least one of us girls. Should I tell her? What may very well be too many snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by jorlyfish on May 21, 2014 - 40 answers

What kinds of boundaries can I set with a self-centered person?

I need some help recalibrating how I interact with someone who is profoundly self-centered (ranging from insensitivity to my feelings to arguably deliberately "using" me). Assuming that I must keep this person in my life, what are some things I can do to feel more empowered and more at peace with the balance between us? [more inside]
posted by argonauta on May 18, 2014 - 19 answers

I really like this new woman but she's freaking me out with demands!

I've been dating this great woman for a month now. I really do like her, but she seems to want more and more of my time and energy to the point that life getting out of balance for my self-care and recharge time. Special snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2014 - 59 answers

Ex wants to reconcile. I said no, but not sure it's the right decision?

Ex broke up with me 2 months ago and asked for reconciliation a week later. I have chosen not to reconcile but am having doubts about this decision. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on May 17, 2014 - 23 answers

Help me respect people in my life that don't seem like they are trying.

It feels like people in my life aren't trying hard enough, but as I have felt this way multiple times now, I realize the problem is within me. My life has been pretty easy because I try really hard and get good results. Does anyone have any perspectives/advice for me? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on May 14, 2014 - 75 answers

Roommate Troubles: Should I bother keeping in touch.

I've made my roommate's life kinda shit the entire school year. Should I just get out of her life, or try to keep in touch in case I become a better person? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on May 12, 2014 - 14 answers

President of the First Girlfriend's Club

How do I NOT be a starter girlfriend? I'm 28, genuine, friendly, have hobbies, a great career, but for some reason, my relationships keep ending. I know, I know, is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2014 - 33 answers

How to avoid complacency + continue self-development in a relationship?

I am in a new relationship, and it's very much in the honeymoon phase. This person is amazing and awesome and it feels like I'm getting to know the best friend I never knew I had. This new relationship is very promising, and I would like to avoid all the bad relationship habits/mistakes I've made in the past (mostly around becoming complacent, no longer working on myself, not being as ambitious etc.). What is your advice and personal experience with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2014 - 3 answers

OkCupid: Why is my inbox not flooded and what's wrong with my pictures?

I'm a woman that just made a new OK Cupid account after a long hiatus. The amount of messages I'm getting are abysmal compared to when I was on the site six months ago. What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on May 2, 2014 - 49 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Is there good reason to cry over spilled beans?

Throughout the entirety of my life, my immediate family has existed under a heavy shroud of secrecy. Within my current relationship, I cast it off for my boyfriend. Is this a decision I will come to deeply regret? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2014 - 24 answers

Took your advice & DTMFA. Now he's made big changes. What to do?

I took your advice, MetaFilter, and broke up with the guy who I wasn't totally feeling things for (and had checked out of our relationship). Some time has passed and he seems to be resolving most of the reasons for my unhappiness. He'd still be a great co-parent and partner, so, should I reconsider? Or is it too soon? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2014 - 31 answers

Angry Dude

How can I deal with the anger of my easily peeved boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by a sourceless light on Apr 22, 2014 - 128 answers

A Watched Phone Never Rings

Whenever I am anticipating a date with or a text from the guy that I'm with, I suddenly find myself avoiding everything I need to do in order to just mentally prep for that encounter. This is obviously not a productive or healthy way to anticipate a good thing, but I have acted this way since I was 16 and now at 26 I want to stop trying to be so damn available. Aside from keeping myself busy with obligations I MUST attend to lest there be Serious Repercussions, what else can I do to persuade my mind that living my life in the intervals will allow me to have better relationships, not the other way around?
posted by Hermione Granger on Apr 21, 2014 - 15 answers

What does it mean to be "psychologically flooded"?

My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
posted by speedoavenger on Apr 15, 2014 - 16 answers

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2014 - 18 answers

Whether and how to ask out someone I previously dated.

I'm thinking of contacting someone I previously dated to see if he wants to date again. I know there's a good chance I won't get a positive response or will just get hurt again, but I can't help the feeling that there's some kind of unfinished business here. So I want to contact him. My questions are: (a) is trying to see if he wants to date again absolutely a bad idea? and (b) if not, how do I contact him? Do I text him and just say hello and try to gauge his response before going further? Call him out of the blue to talk? See if he wants to meet up for a drink? [more inside]
posted by singlesock on Apr 12, 2014 - 17 answers

I will survive! But I'd like to keep my sanity, too.

Hostile, toxic workplace is causing me tons of stress. I can and will do my job well, conduct myself appropriately, and be courteous and pleasant as Mrs. Cleaver at a dinner party while I'm there. When I get home, I just fall apart. Being fake for 14 hours a day is exhausting, self-censoring every word that comes out of my mouth is a trial, and documenting in detail every mundane task I've performed is time-consuming. I need any advice, articles, or techniques to help me fake it through my days and stay sane! [more inside]
posted by notaninja on Apr 12, 2014 - 18 answers

Describe going from "date" to "relationship"

I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2014 - 8 answers

Who would i hire to research a personal life? Literally.

So I'm trying to figure out who I would hire - theoretically - to do an index or census of a personal life. I want someone who would be able to look at a life (with consent) to study it. The person would follow a subject around to determine core friends/family/contacts on a daily basis and then do research based on relationships. Then they'd objectively drill down into some key data points. - How many of the people in my life up to one relationship away (aka my brother's good friends) are married or single and for how long - How many of my past relationships are single/married and for how long Beyond that maybe some polling on specific questions about the subject from those people. So who am I looking for here? Is it a Private Investigator? A sociologist? A statistician? A life coach? Is there someone in an "I Heart Huckabees" way that you hire to do this sort of thing? Is this already a job or service someone provides and I don't know the name?
posted by rileyray3000 on Apr 7, 2014 - 5 answers

Giving up on other people

If you have failed at forming relationships (of any kind), is there a point where you should just accept you don't have the skills and are incapable of developing them? [more inside]
posted by Aranquis on Apr 6, 2014 - 40 answers

I suppose we should go on a... date?

Boy meets Girl. Then Boy does, what exactly? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2014 - 12 answers

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