3233 posts tagged with relationships.
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Is he not asking me out more because he is laid back or not into me?

I am still seeing the guy I posted about previously. But am I a convenience girl or does he genuinely like me? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 8, 2016 - 25 answers

Major Relationship Issue- How to Control My Resentment?

I'm currently harboring a lot of resentment towards my girlfriend. Her brother is a molester and she's unsure of what to do about it, and she has cancelled our wedding due to being unsure and afraid of losing the rest of her family. I have no idea what to do or where to turn, how can I stop feeling resentful? [more inside]
posted by Firestorm 2018 on May 7, 2016 - 45 answers

how do i emotionally disconnect while remaining supportive?

My spouse has got it rough, and I'm arguably the strongest pillar in his support network. Lately, though, I'm finding myself completely emotionally destroyed after offering him the support I've promised him. I need coping mechanisms to maintain my own emotional stability while still remaining supportive to my sweetheart. [more inside]
posted by blue t-shirt on May 4, 2016 - 6 answers

Should I bring up an issue of listening skills after one date?

I value listening skills in a partner. I was surprised to find that a man who was responsive, curious and affirming via online message didn't bring the conversational energy I expected when we met in person. Can I communicate this to him after our first date? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on May 1, 2016 - 18 answers

How do I keep a realistic view of the past?

Given tendencies towards nostalgia and overly optimistic views of the past, how do you stay grounded in reality and move on from unhealthy situations without constant regret? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by AnonymousPuppet on Apr 27, 2016 - 2 answers

How do I fix my life?

I am about to graduate college with a business degree, a mediocre gpa, and very little experience. I have not made a single friend in college or been in a relationship. I lived with my parents for the whole entire time in college and they expect me to be married before leaving the house. I tend to succumb to extreme laziness and procrastination. I can spend 8 hours daily on the internet instead of doing homework. This procrastination has seeped into my job search. Am I ever going to be prepared for life? [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon on Apr 26, 2016 - 15 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

Interracial relationship issues

If you are a person of colour in an interracial relationship, what do you expect of your partner in terms of understanding racial issues? In what ways do they show you they are an ally to POC? How much emotional labour do you do to help them with that? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Apr 23, 2016 - 14 answers

Is it possible to change bad professional reputation?

I had a nightmarish experience during my PhD which is in most part due to my supervisor. I barely made it through and graduated with no publicaitons and shattered self-esteem. Thanks to a lot of luck, I landed a good postdoc position. It's a very narrow field of work though, everyone knows everyone and my PhD experience continues to haunt me... [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 22, 2016 - 20 answers

Do I wait or do I go?

So a while ago, I asked how to give the relationship talk. I finally did it a little while ago when I felt ready but the answer was essentially that he isn't ready. He recently got out of a mega-long relationship and is worried about repeating that. My question is, do I wait for him? [more inside]
posted by cyml on Apr 19, 2016 - 26 answers

How can a fundamentalist explore beyond her upbringing?

How can I respectfully explore the possibility that, as a woman, I'm attracted to women? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2016 - 14 answers

What do you bring to the table?

What are men bringing to a modern marriage? I read lots of poorly referenced stories about how they increase a women's workload, don't perform emotional labor, and do much less of the child rearing. So what are men bringing to the table? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Apr 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Can an "alpha" be happy with a "beta"?

Despite an otherwise inspiring and fulfilling relationship, I recently made the very difficult decision to split with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years because I felt like I was always leading the charge on Big Life Things and carrying him along. I figured I needed an alpha partner who was quick enough to take care of me and of things before I could get to them myself. Now I am observing this very type of alpha person "in the wild", and wondering if I have made a mistake. "Alpha" ladies, what is your experience with "beta" partners? [more inside]
posted by qzar on Apr 14, 2016 - 50 answers

My roommate is a hardcore recycler and I am not. What now?

My roommate has confronted me about putting improper items in our trash that can be recycled. I don't really care. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Apr 11, 2016 - 67 answers

Respecting religious differences in emotionally charged conversations?

I'm an atheist. I don't wear this fact on my sleeve. Most of the time, I actively avoid religion as a conversational topic. There are some conversations, however, where you can't duck the topic, because you're providing support to someone who has experienced a personal tragedy, such as the death of a loved one, and in the course of that conversation, they will invoke their religious beliefs. The question I am posing is: how can I provide emotional support and maintain proper boundaries while respecting their beliefs and my own as well?
posted by the hot hot side of randy on Apr 9, 2016 - 31 answers

I'd love to spend SOME time with you.... Introverts and dating?

I'd like to hear from other introverts about your experiences with dating and burn-out. Is having it at all (or even a few months in) a bad sign for long-term compatibility? Or just a sign that the relationship is moving too fast for you? Or do you set strong boundaries on your time and just trust that the right person will understand? [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Apr 6, 2016 - 19 answers

The in-law triangle, how do you deal with it?

My partner and I have been together a long time and I have posted about issues with his sister before. I can see that his inability to draw boundaries is the real issue here and so my question is combination of how does one deal when a SO can't and won't draw boundaries and has a needy sibling who has a hard time backing off. We are all in our late 30s but emotionally in our relationship, it feels like he needs to take care of her, and be there for her and I can't get over the feeling that her very existence is now sucking oxygen out of my relationship, and i need to stop feeling like that. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Apr 5, 2016 - 30 answers

What should I include in my 'sex and relationships' lessons?

I'm looking for advice as to what I should include as 'extras' in my sex and relationships lessons for ten and eleven year old children. [more inside]
posted by schmoo on Apr 4, 2016 - 48 answers

Gay man in a relationship which could be going better

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2016 - 20 answers

How important is it to be "work-equal" in relationships?

Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by fka on Apr 3, 2016 - 24 answers

Did I push away my soulmate?

I ended it with a man I loved, he hates me. Do I leave him to cool off and try again in a few months? I want to make him understand the reasons why I ended it. [more inside]
posted by newthirdworld on Mar 30, 2016 - 21 answers

My husband won't listen to me talk about work

My husband completely shuts down when I talk to him about problems I'm having at work. This is the only topic of conversation that he automatically shuts down, in two minutes or fewer. It has been ongoing, and I feel like I have to lie and say work is "fine" when he asks, or just swallow up my negative feelings. What's going on here? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Mar 29, 2016 - 72 answers

GF is more successful than me, how do I deal?

My girlfriend is more successful than me. How do I keep myself from turning into a jealous weird guy? I want to celebrate and support her success, without getting bummed out and feeling emasculated. Looking for strategies (non-redpill) on how to not let this get to me, not blow my budget, and maintain my sense of masculinity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 31 answers

Best relationship hacks for an anxious-preoccupied attachment style?

I am in a relationship that I very much enjoy, with a partner who is supportive and giving but also has external limits on how much attention he can give to the relationship. What are some ideas that have worked for people who have an anxious/preoccupied attachment style, to avoid triggering insecurity? [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Mar 27, 2016 - 18 answers

How do you handle your couple's finances?

My SO and I are looking at moving in together when our respective leases are up in September. One of the things I want to make sure we have ironed out is finances, so I'm looking for any and all ways people have transitioned to handling finances as a couple. [more inside]
posted by dotgirl on Mar 25, 2016 - 32 answers

How to break down the pedestal you created?

What's a great sentiment that someone shared with you or that you discovered on your own that really helped you break away from framing your thoughts around a relationship that ended? What helped bring your ex off the pedestal? [more inside]
posted by modernman on Mar 25, 2016 - 19 answers

Tell me a story of rekindling romance in a long term relationship?

We've been together for over ten years, and we started out with the normal amount of crazy making out and new relationship energy. Our intimacy (by which I mostly mean sex and physical affection, but some in other ways, too) faded over time, though, despite some effort to beat the fade-out back. I'd really like to hear from people who have had a similar problem and have worked through it to have a close, at least moderately sexually active marriage. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2016 - 20 answers

How do I stop living with anger about being rejected?

How do I deal with the constant pang of rejection? Her image is in my head all day long, every day. It's been almost 2 months since the breakup. The breakup was for the best and I have been keeping myself really busy otherwise, reconnecting with myself. I am not contacting her. [more inside]
posted by pixelsnbits on Mar 15, 2016 - 26 answers

Tell me what to say when I have the relationship talk

I've been seeing a guy for four months now and I think it's time to have the relationship talk but I don't want to mostly because I have no idea how to do this at all or what to say. So please help! [more inside]
posted by cyml on Mar 14, 2016 - 8 answers

How do I cope with not being #1 with my g/f who has 2 young kids.

All my past relationships were ones which we could both selfishly be top of the totem pole to the other, now I've been dating a woman with 2 children under 10 and I'm struggling with being too needy or feeling like I want more of her time than I guess she wants to/can give. I understand I'll never come before her kids and I do care for them as well but it's very challenging lately to cope with since there's been a dramatic drop in intimacy lately too (not just sex but random acts of kindness; the "honeymoon period" type affection stopped almost at the same time as moving in with her). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2016 - 20 answers

Do I tell the 'other' person about an affair?

Long story, short, I have recently discovered my long term partner has been cheating on me with (many) different people. However, one that I know for certain are/were (now ex I guess) acquaintances of mine. Do I tell the husband??? I'll give more details below, about the specific situation, for those interested. I would be interested to hear from people who have specifically been the 'other' person in a situation like this, and if/when you would have wanted to know, or not know as it were, as opposed to getting into an ethical discussion about what is or isn't anyone's business, from people who have never experienced this before. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2016 - 27 answers

How to be friends when you wanted more

I have a lot of female friends, but no guy friends. So it's already a little harder for me to navigate this. I have a few questions: 1. Is it normal behavior for a guy to text everyday and only go on one-on-one hangouts with a girl? 2. Is it even possible to be friends with someone you have some sort of feelings for? 3. Do I tell him I feel confused? [more inside]
posted by flowy on Mar 5, 2016 - 15 answers

How can I develop sparks while dating Mr. Sparkless But Right?

I finally met a guy who's perfect for me on paper: he's kind, polite, and considerate, and he shares many of my interests. He seems to be looking for something serious. We both want to get married and start a family (not necessarily with each other... yet). But we don't have fun together and there aren't ANY sparks. I think it's because we're both mild-mannered introverts who need a more outgoing and sexually aggressive dating partner. Help! Do I need to morph into a different kind of person to keep this relationship going? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Mar 1, 2016 - 63 answers

Help me not be defined by my losses

I let the losses of loved ones, which I have experienced quite a lot over the years, define who I am and how I behave. I'm in therapy and working on it, but I'm looking for advice from people who fear losing others on how to deal with that ever-present shadow. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Mar 1, 2016 - 9 answers

Could my ethnicity play a role in my disappointing love life?

I am a 27 year old woman, and have always had horrible luck with relationships. I'm starting to wonder if my ethnicity, culture, background (Asian-Indian/Hindu) could have something to do with it? [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Feb 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Like, fifty green-eyed monsters.

My fiance just helped my--to be as melodramatic as possible about it--archnemesis into the same elite career/institution he's in, so that now I have not one, but two people to pathetically peer at, looking in with my nose pressed to the glass. He also had a thing for her before we started dating (and during). I'm freaked out and bitter. Help me figure out how not to be a huge evil baby while I taste the many acrid flavors of the jealousy rainbow. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Feb 26, 2016 - 131 answers

Folding without breaking: define long-term relationship compatibility?

Help me define long-term relationship compatibility. How do /you/ define it, or, what do /you/ think compatibility is all about? [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Feb 25, 2016 - 23 answers

break-up the breakdown

Give me your tips on getting through the acute part of a break-up. [more inside]
posted by quadrilaterals on Feb 18, 2016 - 30 answers

Help dealing with a dying NT-Aspie relationship

In short, I am trying to help myself accept that I have to end my relationship with my boyfriend. Although he has never been diagnosed, I'm fairly certain that he has Asperger's (whereas I'm NT), and our inability to communicate with one another is taking a toll on my mental health. He is full of love and respect for me but has done things that hurt me and our relationship so badly, that I feel that I cannot recover at this point. Please help me find the strength and resources to get through this. [more inside]
posted by NeverGrowSoOldAgain on Feb 17, 2016 - 41 answers

Preserving the stability I've worked so hard to achieve

After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 17, 2016 - 19 answers

Is there hope for HSV+ and OCD+?

Found out the guy I'm seeing, whom I really, really like, has oral HSV-1. I have OCD and GAD and a huge phobia specifically of herpes. Can this work out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 14, 2016 - 18 answers

How do I trust myself with affirmations after a recent breakup?

How do I trust myself with affirmations if I constantly seek validation from external sources, especially intimate relationships? I am coming out of a recent breakup that triggered severe anxiety and dependency. I am keeping busy after the breakup (it has been 2.5 weeks) but I still feel like there is something missing from my recovery process. I am seeking professional help soon (I have an appointment scheduled) but I find anecdotal examples of others' experiences to be extremely helpful. [more inside]
posted by modernman on Feb 10, 2016 - 7 answers

Did I miss the boat in life? Will I be able to maintain relationships?

If you are successful in maintaining relationships, maybe you can answer some questions. My main concern is that I haven’t developed typically like others. When I went to high school, I was depressed and had social anxiety. Therefore, I didn’t have any kind of high school experience-no friends, no funny stories, no major personal development, and no boyfriends. [more inside]
posted by crystal_stair on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

A friendship ending unexpectedly

A friend who has meant the world to me has ended our friendship because...well, I'm not sure. [more inside]
posted by Champagne Supernova on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

Help me be as supportive as possible while pregnant and full of anxiety

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Meanwhile, my sweetie's father is succumbing to cancer (so, by the way, is my stepmom, whom I love dearly). I'm interested in tips on how to cope with tough stuff like this while pregnant, how to both be supportive and get the support I need right now. [more inside]
posted by Lisitasan on Feb 5, 2016 - 11 answers

Seeking romantic compatibility anecdata

Deep in limerence, but the first attempt at sex was disappointing. [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Jan 31, 2016 - 21 answers

I'm in a rough spot in my relationship. Should I tell my mom?

I'm quite close with my mother, and discuss many aspects of my life with her. She is a good sounding board, and has good advice, especially about interpersonal issues. I've been having difficulties in my relationship with my SO for several months now. Would talking to my mother about this be a terrible idea? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2016 - 23 answers

Shaving every day as the price of admission for sex

Had a tiff last night with my boyfriend regarding leg stubble. When I tried to get frisky he told me I needed to go shave first since it had been three days. This has come up before and I'm feeling a bit hurt and resentful. He insisted he was joking and didn't care if I'd shaved. Do I need to just let it go? [more inside]
posted by Chkalovskaya on Jan 30, 2016 - 156 answers

How do I navigate the break-up with my first and only love (at age 30)

After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Jan 27, 2016 - 35 answers

I am EXTREMELY attracted to my professors/TAs. Help?

I've been in school (grad school!!) for two years, and I want to sex every single one of my male professors/TAs, with very few exceptions. How can I turn this infernal brain thing off?!?! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2016 - 20 answers

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